Hellraiser Bloopers
folder
G through L › Hellraiser (All)
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
2,051
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
G through L › Hellraiser (All)
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
2,051
Reviews:
5
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Hellraiser movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Hellraiser Bloopers
Not mine!!! but i wish it was!! waaaaaaaah! okay, moving on.
Scene in the Attic/ Frank’s rebirth:
Empty attic,
Creaking of floor boards is heard.
Someone humming,
Clive Barker: “What the?”
Frank: “The hip bone’s connected to the, thigh bone!”
In the hospital/ Kirsty and the Cenobites:
Kirsty: “You’ve done this before, right?”
Pinhead: “… … … line?”
Whispering
Pinhead: “…oh. Oh yes, many, many times.”
Kirsty: …
Clive B.: “Cut!”
Attic, Frank opens the box:
Frank fiddling with the box.
Fiddling with it,
Still fiddling…
Frank: “I never was any good at these things…”
Cenobites off stage: “…ah.”
Julia and Frank speak:
Frank: “don’t look at me!”
Julia, cranky from too many takes: “why shouldn’t I?”
Frank: “…cause, if you look at me… I’ll sick Pinhead on you?”
Pinhead from offstage: “That is not my job!”
Frank’s confession scene:
Femail cenobite: “We had to hear it from your own… Pinhead! What are you doing?!”
Pinhead, crawling around on the floor: “I lost a pin, so everyone be careful where you…”
Kirsty: “Ow!”
Pinhead: “… found it.”
Summoning the chains:
Cenobites call fourth the chains.
Nothing happens.
Frank: “…well, that’s that!”
Clive B.: “Take two!”
Cenobites call fourth the chains.
Loud ripping heard from off the set.
Director: “What the hell was that?!”
Pinehead: “The remnants of a very unsatisfying victim.”
Clive B.: “…creepy, take three!”
Cenobites call fourth the chains.
Chains fall onto the stage in a tangled heap.
Frank: “… I can rip myself apart, should I?”
Kirsty: “I want to see this.”
Pinhead: “We seem to be experiencing tearing Frank difficulties, please hold.”
Clive B.: “Oh for the love of Leviathan, Cut!”
Kirsty in the hospital/ cenobites arrive
The box sparks blue lightning.
Box zaps Kirsty,
Kirsty: “Ow shit! Hot potato!”
Tosses it to Pinhead, who tosses it to Chatterer, who tosses it to stage crew.
ZAP!!! “Aaaaauuuggghh!!”
Pinhead: “Jesus Christ…”
Kirsty: don’t say that! You aren’t supposed to use Gods name in vain!”
Pinhead: “Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?!”
Chatterer: “Wrong movie, we haven’t made that one yet.”
Pinhead: “Again? Damn.”
Clive B.: “…just cut, please?”
Somewhere offstage/ cell phone ringing
Call answered.
Frank in a whisper: “…yes, and lots of pepperoni, yeah, thanks, see you soon”
Frank walks around the corner and into dressing hall
Frank, dramatic: “The puzzle is done!!!”
Pinhead, adjusting pins: “You finally solved the box?”
Frank: “…um… no.”
Julia: “The rubrics cube we got you last year for Christmas?”
Frank: “Na-ah.”
Larry: “The crossword in today’s paper?”
Frank: “Do you honestly do those things?”
Butterball: “Well, what was it then?”
Frank: “I figured out the pizza places instant delivery line!”
All: “… … …”
Crickets chirp.
Day two/ technical difficulties banishing cenobites:
Pinhead: “No, don’t do that!”
Power goes out.
Crash!
Pinhead: “Is everyone okay?”
Kirsty: “I didn’t do it!”
Female cenobite: “great, just great… now we’re gonna have to do this all over…”
Pinhead: “What was the crash?”
Frank from offstage: “Damn chains!!! Aauughhh!!! All over the fuckin…”
Thump!
Thump!
Thump-thump-thump!
Thum-bump!!
“…owie…”
Clive B.: “Good lord man! You all right?!”
Frank: “…me, yes. Your sound equipment, no.”
Kirsty, Julia, Female cenobite in one corner,
Frank, Larry, and Chatterer in another:
Pinhead, reading manual: “All right, rules are simple. You are green, you are orange. Shoot for the target on the other player, don’t hit, bitchslap, ect… no cheating, I’m not sure how you cheat at this, but it says not to. Oh yes, and the director has requested we remain in the hallways, away from anything fragile.”
Two teams move off.
Larry: “…remind me again, why laser tag?”
Pinhead: “Because the powers off and there’s nothing else to do.”
Larry: “..And tell me, how did you read the manual?”
Pinhead: “… … … hm, funny that.”
Power restored/ scene where frank tries to rape Kirsty:
Kirsty grabs the box.
Kirsty: “You want this? Here!”
Tosses the Box out wrong window.
Frank: “…did you just really throw our puzzle box out the window?”
Kirsty: “Um…what puzzle box?”
Scene where Kirsty hides in closet with a dead man from Frank:
Kirsty hiding in closet
Sees dead guy
Starts to laugh
Clive B.: “what the heck is funny about this?”
Kirsty: “He, he keeps wagging his eyebrow at me!”
Clive B.: “…kirsty.. That’s a wax figure!”
Kisty: “…too much caffeine.”
Take Two/ sending the cenobites to hell:
Pinhead walks angrily down the hallway, wiping sawdust off his leather. Little crackles of electricity jump between the pins.
Makeup artist: “Holy shit! What the hell happened to you?”
Pinhead: “…Two words, Take, One.”
Scene where the box grabs Frank with chains:
Frank fiddling with the box.
Small voice offstage: “now left, okay, okay now up, no,no, the other way, yeah, run your thumb around…”
Pinhead: “…how does he know how it’s done?”
Butterball: “I think we missed another one…”
Femail cenobite: “…it sounds so wrong… if I couldn’t see him I’d think, well…dirty things…”
Chatterer: “You think that persons telling him how to open the box?”
Pinhead: “….Ah, We should have known…”
Clive B.: “AAAaaaauuughhh!!! No!!! Not on the set!!”
Frank grabbed by box with chains/ takes two:
Frank opens the box, finally!
Nothing happens.
Clive B.: “dammit all! The box isn’t working?”
Frank: “…I never knew these things had expiration dates…”
Clive B.: “…that’s it.”
Gets up and walks off the set.
Scene in the Attic/ Frank’s rebirth:
Empty attic,
Creaking of floor boards is heard.
Someone humming,
Clive Barker: “What the?”
Frank: “The hip bone’s connected to the, thigh bone!”
In the hospital/ Kirsty and the Cenobites:
Kirsty: “You’ve done this before, right?”
Pinhead: “… … … line?”
Whispering
Pinhead: “…oh. Oh yes, many, many times.”
Kirsty: …
Clive B.: “Cut!”
Attic, Frank opens the box:
Frank fiddling with the box.
Fiddling with it,
Still fiddling…
Frank: “I never was any good at these things…”
Cenobites off stage: “…ah.”
Julia and Frank speak:
Frank: “don’t look at me!”
Julia, cranky from too many takes: “why shouldn’t I?”
Frank: “…cause, if you look at me… I’ll sick Pinhead on you?”
Pinhead from offstage: “That is not my job!”
Frank’s confession scene:
Femail cenobite: “We had to hear it from your own… Pinhead! What are you doing?!”
Pinhead, crawling around on the floor: “I lost a pin, so everyone be careful where you…”
Kirsty: “Ow!”
Pinhead: “… found it.”
Summoning the chains:
Cenobites call fourth the chains.
Nothing happens.
Frank: “…well, that’s that!”
Clive B.: “Take two!”
Cenobites call fourth the chains.
Loud ripping heard from off the set.
Director: “What the hell was that?!”
Pinehead: “The remnants of a very unsatisfying victim.”
Clive B.: “…creepy, take three!”
Cenobites call fourth the chains.
Chains fall onto the stage in a tangled heap.
Frank: “… I can rip myself apart, should I?”
Kirsty: “I want to see this.”
Pinhead: “We seem to be experiencing tearing Frank difficulties, please hold.”
Clive B.: “Oh for the love of Leviathan, Cut!”
Kirsty in the hospital/ cenobites arrive
The box sparks blue lightning.
Box zaps Kirsty,
Kirsty: “Ow shit! Hot potato!”
Tosses it to Pinhead, who tosses it to Chatterer, who tosses it to stage crew.
ZAP!!! “Aaaaauuuggghh!!”
Pinhead: “Jesus Christ…”
Kirsty: don’t say that! You aren’t supposed to use Gods name in vain!”
Pinhead: “Do I look like someone who cares what God thinks?!”
Chatterer: “Wrong movie, we haven’t made that one yet.”
Pinhead: “Again? Damn.”
Clive B.: “…just cut, please?”
Somewhere offstage/ cell phone ringing
Call answered.
Frank in a whisper: “…yes, and lots of pepperoni, yeah, thanks, see you soon”
Frank walks around the corner and into dressing hall
Frank, dramatic: “The puzzle is done!!!”
Pinhead, adjusting pins: “You finally solved the box?”
Frank: “…um… no.”
Julia: “The rubrics cube we got you last year for Christmas?”
Frank: “Na-ah.”
Larry: “The crossword in today’s paper?”
Frank: “Do you honestly do those things?”
Butterball: “Well, what was it then?”
Frank: “I figured out the pizza places instant delivery line!”
All: “… … …”
Crickets chirp.
Day two/ technical difficulties banishing cenobites:
Pinhead: “No, don’t do that!”
Power goes out.
Crash!
Pinhead: “Is everyone okay?”
Kirsty: “I didn’t do it!”
Female cenobite: “great, just great… now we’re gonna have to do this all over…”
Pinhead: “What was the crash?”
Frank from offstage: “Damn chains!!! Aauughhh!!! All over the fuckin…”
Thump!
Thump!
Thump-thump-thump!
Thum-bump!!
“…owie…”
Clive B.: “Good lord man! You all right?!”
Frank: “…me, yes. Your sound equipment, no.”
Kirsty, Julia, Female cenobite in one corner,
Frank, Larry, and Chatterer in another:
Pinhead, reading manual: “All right, rules are simple. You are green, you are orange. Shoot for the target on the other player, don’t hit, bitchslap, ect… no cheating, I’m not sure how you cheat at this, but it says not to. Oh yes, and the director has requested we remain in the hallways, away from anything fragile.”
Two teams move off.
Larry: “…remind me again, why laser tag?”
Pinhead: “Because the powers off and there’s nothing else to do.”
Larry: “..And tell me, how did you read the manual?”
Pinhead: “… … … hm, funny that.”
Power restored/ scene where frank tries to rape Kirsty:
Kirsty grabs the box.
Kirsty: “You want this? Here!”
Tosses the Box out wrong window.
Frank: “…did you just really throw our puzzle box out the window?”
Kirsty: “Um…what puzzle box?”
Scene where Kirsty hides in closet with a dead man from Frank:
Kirsty hiding in closet
Sees dead guy
Starts to laugh
Clive B.: “what the heck is funny about this?”
Kirsty: “He, he keeps wagging his eyebrow at me!”
Clive B.: “…kirsty.. That’s a wax figure!”
Kisty: “…too much caffeine.”
Take Two/ sending the cenobites to hell:
Pinhead walks angrily down the hallway, wiping sawdust off his leather. Little crackles of electricity jump between the pins.
Makeup artist: “Holy shit! What the hell happened to you?”
Pinhead: “…Two words, Take, One.”
Scene where the box grabs Frank with chains:
Frank fiddling with the box.
Small voice offstage: “now left, okay, okay now up, no,no, the other way, yeah, run your thumb around…”
Pinhead: “…how does he know how it’s done?”
Butterball: “I think we missed another one…”
Femail cenobite: “…it sounds so wrong… if I couldn’t see him I’d think, well…dirty things…”
Chatterer: “You think that persons telling him how to open the box?”
Pinhead: “….Ah, We should have known…”
Clive B.: “AAAaaaauuughhh!!! No!!! Not on the set!!”
Frank grabbed by box with chains/ takes two:
Frank opens the box, finally!
Nothing happens.
Clive B.: “dammit all! The box isn’t working?”
Frank: “…I never knew these things had expiration dates…”
Clive B.: “…that’s it.”
Gets up and walks off the set.