What It Takes

Disclaimer: I mean no disrespect to copyright laws, or the creators and owners of the Star Wars movie-verse and the Queer As Folk TV series (I have paraphrased some powerful lines on living honestly and without fear from the latter), all of which with I have no association. I write purely for pleasure, not profit.

Warning: Please approach this story with a sense of humour as my wit can often be black and my characterisation irreverant. I mean no offence and hope that every reader enjoys this story. Thank you for your time and all reviews are appreciated. dayast_joy@yahoo.com.


Chapter One ("What It Takes" Series)
Finding a little light in the darkness

Anakin let out a shriek of alarm as he collided with Qui-Gon Jinn.

“But you’re dead!” the teary eyed Jedi gasped.

“I’ve come back to this plane and timeline through the Force. Amazing…I never guessed that I would be corporeal as well,” Qui-Gon’s voice trailed off and then he grabbed the younger man by the shoulders. “Anakin! Listen to me. I know what’s been happening, and I promise you, I will find a way to save Padme, but you must help Mace slay the Sith Lord.”

“But…I need him. And he is my friend,” the father-to-be ran a mechanical arm through his hair, conflict and emotional strain evident in his rapidly drying eyes.

“I’m sorry to have to do this, but…see for yourself the future that awaits you if you let Sidious live,” Qui-Gon placed a hand on Anakin’s forehead and Force-blasted his mind…

******

“I’m so glad you managed to persuade the Council to take Anakin back,” Qui-Gon grinned down at his flushed lover.

“Well, I am the best diplomat in the galaxy,” said the redhead. He gasped and then whispered, “Ah, that feels good.”

There was a brief pause in conversation as the older man milked Obi-Wan’s erection.

“Do I sense pride? That doesn’t become a Jedi you know,” Qui-Gon grinned. The laugh lines around his eyes and the infectious smile made the young Jedi master’s sex throb.

“Well, allow me to feel a little smug. Not many men can take you up the arse and not pass out, Jedi training or not,” the redhead rolled his hips slightly, submitting to the pleasure. He leaned up for a kiss, and was warmly received.

Qui-Gon quickened his strokes, enjoying the crumbling of his lover’s composure. Obi-Wan came with a loud cry of pleasure.

For long moments the room was filled with the sound of their harsh breathing. Then, the smaller man was scooped up into large arms and soundly cuddled and tickled.

“Force, I’ve missed this. I don’t think there’s anything more wonderful than the sound of your laughter after we’ve made love,” Qui-Gon sighed, not letting go of his delightful armful of wriggling Jedi.

“We didn’t make love, we had sex. We’re not allowed to fall in love, remember, it clouds our judgment and makes us weak in our duties,” Obi-Wan looked up at his former Master, and said very seriously, “I’m not even the slightest bit in love with you, Qui-Gon Jinn.”

“And I don’t love you at all, Obi-Wan Kenobi,” blue eyes were alight with devotion and affection, and as they kissed, they both knew that the other was lying.

Obi-Wan was flipped over on to his back, and an electronic photo album was knocked off the bedside table, clattering noisily to the floor.

The redhead retrieved the precious object with the Force and regarded it thoughtfully. “Poor Anakin. He never learned how to love without being consumed by it. He is such a courageous and loyal Jedi knight, only giving in to fear or anger when it concerns those whom he loves. It is his greatest weakness.”

“You keep photos of him by your bed?” Qui-Gon asked. There was no jealousy in his voice, only a concerned curiosity.

Obi-Wan watched the changing photos, showing his former padawan at different stages in his life. “I wonder when even his smile became so full of despair? And to think, all this time he thought that Padme’s sexual deviance was perfectly normal.”

“What? Surely even a virgin would know that it’s not normal for a woman to strap on a two-way dildo and sodomise him before they had regular intercourse?” the older man’s eyes widened.

“He said the article detailing how Senator Amidala was regularly sodomising Chancellor Organa with a two-way dildo broke his heart because the story must be true! I almost fell out of my chair when he told me that. We are beyond lucky that the story broke in that silly tabloid that nobody takes seriously. Force, the amount of hush money Bail had to pay to prevent the story from appearing in more credible publications was appalling,” Obi-Wan ran shaking fingers over his eyes. “The negotiations certainly gave me grey hairs, and if Mace wasn’t already bald, this round of cajoling the Media and damage control would have done it. The sad part is, Anakin would have stayed married to her, you know, except that Bail’s wife died so suddenly and Padme wants to live with the Chancellor here on Coruscant.”

“Anakin will have a better life with us, where he is loved and needed. Two years in exile, even with his wife, must have been very long and lonely for him,” Qui-Gon smiled.

“Yes, I hope so. I have missed him,” Obi-Wan nuzzled the long brown hair streaked with silver. “And no, to answer your real question. Anakin and I never had sex, although he asked me once, when he first turned eighteen. I suspect he has no more homosexual curiosity by now.”

******

Anakin’s ears were ringing and his head felt as if it was going to explode.

// Sith! I really should have listened to Obi-Wan //

With peace restored in the Republic after Palpatine’s fall and the taming of the Trade Federation by the Senate during three years of wise rule under Chancellor Organa, the Jedi were becoming rather bored. As was the massive Clone Army, all successfully rehabilitated after Order 66 was discovered during the examination of Sidious’s personal effects, and promptly deleted from their collective minds.

Anakin missed the rush of fighting against crazy odds. Now wherever there was even a tiny whiff of possible danger, he was forced to go in at the head of a massive clone army. There was no more challenge, no more thrill in besting an enemy. Since his return to the Jedi Order, it had been a stultifying year with easy missions interspersed with long rest periods on Coruscant. He tried not to think about how hurtful it was running into the newly and happily married Padme and Bail in the course of his duties, seeing his children so happy in another man’s care.

So he had really jumped at the chance to go on a search-and-recruit trip, just him and Obi-Wan, to Outer Rim worlds. He had hoped for some belligerent slave owners or rebellions to manage, but everything had gone annoyingly smoothly. Only two weeks later, he was piloting the Republic transport back to Coruscant, with five small Force-sensitive children on board.

That was when they had come across the slave ship, with a convoy of five fighters. Sighting a Republic transport, the slaver party had immediately hyper-jumped, after opening fire briefly to deter the Jedi from following them. Obi-Wan sent the co-ordinates to the nearest Republic Army base, as they were not prepared to engage an enemy, but Anakin had stubbornly flown off in the transport’s slightly damaged fighter and gone after the slavers him self.

// Obi-Wan is going to kill me //.

“So this is the man who took out three of my pilots with a damaged fighter and no astro-droid. I like him already,” the voice was warm and deep, but Anakin sensed danger. This was the fighter pilot who had outmanoeuvred and captured him, a feat that no other enemy had ever achieved. He sensed that this man was fearless, probably cruel, certainly a killer, and a…predator, a very successful predator.

“Hah! Brian, was there ever a good-looking young man you met that you didn’t like?” a coarse voice, full of innuendo.

“Well, I’ve fucked every hot young man that I’ve met, but I don’t think I liked many of them,” even speaking profanity so casually, the voice remained appealing, sexy. No other male voices touched Anakin like this, except Obi-Wan’s, back before tender hopes had been destroyed.

He opened his eyes and glared at the speaker, who stood on his left. Not even years of training for negotiations could have helped him hide his amazement.

The man was shockingly, stunningly beautiful. No person with an iota of sex drive, male or female, could look at him without thinking about sex. Short, fashionably styled dark hair, flawless pale skin, striking green eyes, and a long, lean body poured elegantly into a black leather flight suit. Expensive, designer threads, probably crafted with a man just like this in mind.

The man stared down into his eyes with a gaze that was both invitingly intoxicating and fiercely challenging at the same time, then he blinked twice, and the icy façade crumbled as expressive features softened into a wolfish smile.

// Oh great! Exactly what I need // Getting an erection while tied naked to a slaver’s table was definitely not becoming a Jedi.

Anakin winced in dismay as a skilled hand stroked his growing erection.

“Well, boys, I’m going to distract him so he doesn’t Force blast us to hell,” the man named Brian chuckled.

“He’s got a collar on…just mount him, it will be fun,” one of the low-life spectators pointed out.

“You ever pissed off a Jedi? Trust me, a thousand Force-control collars will not save your sorry hide. There are other ways to get one to submit. Watch and learn,” the dark haired man disappeared from Anakin’s field of vision, and before the Jedi could utter a grunt of surprise, his sex was enveloped by the most tantalising warmth.

A groan escaped his lips and he couldn’t help but thrust into the welcoming throat. His captor was extraordinarily skilled. There was no way he’d be able to hold back from coming, it was all he could do not to moan like a whore.

Skilled hands caressed his thighs and belly, but when the fingers started rubbing and squeezing his balls gently, he lost control.

His come was so intense; he could have sworn the ship rocked.

“What the – there is no way Republic Army fighters could have caught up with us here in time!” one of the guards pulled out a pulse rifle.

Within seconds, he and his two friends had been beheaded with one clean cut from a lightsaber.

Brian walked over to Anakin.

“Presents from a bounty hunter I blew a few years ago, hope you don’t mind a non-Jedi using them, they’re great weapons. So, are you going to help me free slaves or what?” the man smiled winningly at him. A few deft strokes with the weapons freed Anakin. The Jedi quickly dressed, grateful that his robes had been discarded in a corner rather than destroyed, and powered up his own lightsaber.

The tall beauty made no attempt to hide his pleasure in watching Anakin dress, and said, “By the way, since you had your dick down my throat I guess I ought to introduce myself. I’m Brian Killern, Warlord of an Outer Rim planet called N’agara, sometime freedom fighter and committed lover of hot, young men. Those are my pilots boarding this slaver ship…I’ve been undercover here for two months, and it’s going to be fierce fight ahead. The guards are stupid but there are a lot of them. Care to work up a sweat with us?”

The Jedi smiled, bursting with delight at the thought of a good, worthy battle ahead with daunting odds.

******

Anakin massaged his ears. Obi-Wan was really furious; he actually almost mispronounced two words during his loud tirade. Mace Windu, whose life Anakin had saved during the showdown with Sidious, had also been voluble in his disapproval. The fact that the young knight had helped take a slaver vessel and liberate 200 people about to be sold into slavery made little difference. He had to deliver the ship and passengers to Republic authorities for processing. Unfortunately, the ship’s hyper-drive and three thrusters had been destroyed during the battle, and there was nobody near Anakin’s co-ordinates to come pick him up immediately, so he would just have to wait until the next standard day. At least the N’agara fighters were staying until then, so he didn’t have to worry about being blasted into oblivion if the cohorts of the slaver ship’s slain crew showed up.

He became aware of a rhythmic thump-thump-thump, coming from the ship’s large dining area. Music. They must be celebrating. He wouldn’t have minded a drink, but Anakin didn’t dance. Ever. In any case, he should just be a good Jedi and stay in the room that he had been allocated.

Presently, Brian’s head popped through the open door, “Join the party?”

“No thank you. You go ahead,” the young Jedi rubbed his hands over his face.

“Your Council going to tear you a new one when they come get you, huh?” the dark haired man grinned without sympathy.

“Are you always so rude?” snapped Anakin, his nerves on edge after the lecture. Moreover, he had a terrible relationship with the Council, and it was a personal sore point.

“Are you always this serious and mean-tempered? Mind you, I don’t blame you having a partner like what’s-up-his-arse, prim Obi-Wan. You two made lovely pin-ups in Republic propaganda during the last war,” green eyes sparkled at Anakin as their owner sat on the bed next to him.

“I’d say having nothing up his arse is his problem,” Brian continued. He grinned, seeing the blood rushing to Anakin’s face. He was the type of man who loved playing with fire, and he hadn’t had such a dangerous target to try seducing in years. He wanted the gorgeous younger man to get riled up, to break through the Jedi reserve and have really wild sex with him, “Speaking of which, is it true what they say about your ex? That she likes strapping on a two-way dildo and fucking young guys?”

Anakin was Force-strangling the man before either of them realised what was happening. But the widened eyes and grimace brought the Jedi quickly back to his senses.

“Get out. Get out before I kill you,” he was appalled at his own lack of control, that a total stranger could push his buttons so easily. He really was Sith spawn.

“Holy shit, it is true! It’s amazing what you can do with the Force. It’s very sexy, you know that?” Brian leaned a little closer, completely undeterred by having almost been choked to death. Unbelievable!

It had been too long since someone had looked at him like that. Obi-Wan had rejected him. Padme had left him. And now here was a beautiful man, who could have anyone on the ship, probably anyone in the galaxy, offering him some comfort. And stimulation. Very sexy stimulation.

“Aren’t you afraid of me? You should be, everyone else is,” Anakin broke eye contact, turning away.

Brian laughed, “I’m not afraid of anything.”

The Jedi sighed, “Well, you should fear me because I know who you are...Xanatos.”

For a long, tense moment both men said nothing.

“I’m too strong in the Force to be fooled by your cloaking skills. I should capture you for trial. But then again, I’m Anakin Skywalker! Maybe I’ll just kill you now. After all, if Qui-Gon had not reincarnated in this realm, I’d be a Sith Lord, destroying worlds.”

Brian/ Xanatos did not seem shocked, perhaps he already guessed that Anakin knew, he was the Chosen One after all, “Why don’t you just kill me then? I deserve it.”

The younger man looked up into the fearless green eyes. Both men knew if he was determined to kill Xanatos, Anakin would win, and there was nothing the other reincarnated, fallen Jedi could do to stop him.

“Because you captured me when you could have easily killed me, because instead of raping me you gave me the most unbelievable head,” the smile that lit Xanatos’s face made it impossible for Anakin not to be feel lighter in heart, “And although your cloaking powers mean that you could walk right past 99% of the Jedi population and they would swear that you are not Force-sensitive, I sensed your true energy. And I also felt something good. I mean, what kind of man, other than a hero, would go through all this trouble just to free 200 people from slavery? And I heard you addressing them after we took this ship, offering those with nothing to go home to the chance to start a new life on N’agara,” the young Jedi smiled tightly, “You’re not the man Qui-Gon is hunting.”

Xanatos blinked twice before speaking, “So he knows that I came back through the Force with him, to this timeline, to this world?”

“Everyone thinks he’s crazy, but it wouldn’t be the first time. I wasn’t too sure myself, but having met you…your Force signature is like his, I can’t quite explain it, but I feel that you have died and that you live again. But you are nothing like he said,” Anakin bit his lip, fearing that he had revealed too much.

“So he described me as evil. Sithly. I guess I should be flattered that you don’t think I’m as bad as all that,” Xanatos smiled engagingly. “But didn’t my old master mention how irresistibly gorgeous I was?”

The young Jedi laughed, “He did mention that you had a big ego.”

“You look incredible when you laugh, you ought to do it more often,” the green-eyed man leaned in for a kiss…

“No, Xanatos, you don’t want to do that. You don’t know what I am, what I’m capable of,” the younger man turned away and tried to stand up to leave.

The other man caught him by the wrist, “Anakin, don’t do that to yourself. I fell into the self-loathing trap, consumed by rage because the man I loved wouldn’t love me back. So I tried to hurt him. I formed a galactic mining corporation, laid waste to entire worlds and tried to bring down the Jedi Order. And every day I hated myself even more. Looking back, I don’t blame Qui-Gon for trying to kill me, it was a mercy in a way.”

“He saved me, you know, if he hadn’t come back when he did…” Anakin shuddered.

“Yeah, I know, I observed that possible future within the Force, when I was dead in another timeline and in a different reality thread,” Xanatos said.

“They’re right to fear me, to hate me. I’m the kind of man not even a Master could love,” the Jedi closed his eyes, pulled the Force tight around him, so that Xanatos would not sense the pain, regret, self-doubt and loathing burning in his heart, those terrible things that lay at the core of the darkness constantly threatening to overwhelm all his good intentions and courage.

“Self hatred can destroy a man, don’t let the shame of what you’ve done darken your future. From this second, get out there and live. Do your best. Make no apologies, have no regrets. Don’t ever look back,” the absence of judgment, disgust and fear in the man’s voice was liberating.

“But how do you do that? How do you live, knowing you’ve killed innocent people and could again?” Anakin asked.

“Believing that everyone has the right and power to change their destiny and leave behind their past. When I came back, I hooked up with a warlord on N’agara. He’d tried to buy me as a lover years ago, when I was a padawan helping in negotiations with the warlords for permission to build a spaceport on their planet. The Republic was greedy to start trade for N’agara’s rich natural resources. I would’ve been happy fucking him and flying his transports, but then he got himself killed and I decided to continue his work and become a freedom fighter in the Outer Rim. I’m bored on N’agara, they’re so peaceful now, and you can only spend so many nights dancing, boozing and getting laid in the clubs around the spaceport or breathing fresh air inland. So I’m setting slaves free and messing up the drug dealing networks, farting in the faces of the Hutts and their cronies. No man should be so reduced by bad luck or addiction to having to call another “master”. Unless of course,” Xanatos grinned naughtily and widened his eyes with pretended innocence, “he wants to.”

He leaned forward, every inch an irresistible sexual predator, “So here we are, neither of us saints, both of us hot and hot for each other. Shall we forget about the angst and…”

Anakin had never been kissed with such forceful desire. His body was coming alive with a new raw urgency. Xanatos was thoroughly male, a warrior, a murderer, a hero, an experienced lover, there was no need to be careful or to be considerate, no need to hold back.

Xanatos’s honesty and fearlessness was an intoxicating combination. And after a year without Padme, fighting alongside a former master who was cold to him, Anakin was burning to be touched, to connect.

The older man quickly got them out of their clothes, and shoved Anakin on to his back. They pulled apart and locked gazes, Xanatos rising up to straddle Anakin’s taut belly.

“Force, you’re beautiful,” green eyes were filled with lust.

“I could say the same. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man like you before,” Anakin ran strong fingers down the pale skin of his lover’s chest and stomach, marvelling that each muscle could be so perfectly defined. He didn’t know how much older than himself Xanatos had been when the fallen Jedi had committed suicide rather than be taken by Qui-Gon during their final battle in the different timeline, for that was the body he was caressing now, give or take a couple of years, and it felt and looked no older than his own.

The fallen Jedi pressed a hand over the wandering fingers, drawing them up for a kiss, and with his other hand he placed Anakin’s mechanical hand between his own legs.

Padme had hated being touched in intimate places by that hand, it felt cold and dead she had said, and her former husband had learned to be careful not to use it during their lovemaking. “It doesn’t repulse you?” Anakin asked, stroking his lover’s erection.

“Nothing about you repulses me,” Xanatos assured him huskily, “can you feel with it?”

“Not as well as with my other hand, but yes, you feel…incredible,” the Jedi laughed.

A quick shift in positions and Anakin was running both hands through soft dark hair as he fucked his lover’s mouth. Plunging into that willing throat was rapture, and he moaned when deft fingers caressed and cupped his balls. As his lover sucked on his sex, long fingers massaged and ringed his opening, and then plunged in, drawing a gasping moan from him.

“Sith! Don’t stop,” Anakin groaned, seed was weeping from his sex as the older man raised his head and withdrew his hands.

“Patience, you are a Jedi,” Xanatos chuckled as he sat up in a kneeling position, pulling Anakin’s arse into his lap. Then, he pressed the long legs apart, bending them up and back over the taut, trembling stomach of his frustrated lover’s stomach. The younger man realised what his lover wanted, was startled at the choice of position. Padme used to make him turn around when she needed her unique form of release. He had known she was ashamed about her desires although he was more than happy trying to please her.

“Now is not the time to tease me,” Anakin said sulkily.

“All right. Down to business then.” Xanatos held his thighs and then entered him with one strong thrust, and Anakin cried out, arching his back. Their coupling was fierce and intense; both of them becoming ever more aroused watching the other’s need. The Jedi laced his fingers with the hand pressing down on his chest, dominating him as surely as he was being possessed by the almost brutal thrusts inside him. The burning pressure started to transform into searing pleasure, and Xanatos’s hand slipped down to wrap around his throbbing sex, stroking in time to each thrust.

Anakin was almost senseless when he had a screaming orgasm, his lover deep inside him, a hand enveloping his sex.

They kissed passionately, both trembling from the intensity of their coupling.

Anakin wrapped all his limbs around his lover, feeling a tender closeness that he had feared was lost to him forever when Padme left.

“Aren’t you supposed to get soft or something? Sorry, I only have experience with dildos,” the Jedi chuckled.

“So you can laugh and you do have a sense of humour. You look even better now then before if that’s possible,” Xanatos whispered, still breathing hard.

“I bet you say that to all the boys,” Anakin smiled.

“No, I don’t usually talk to men after sex. My instincts were right, I think I am going to like you,” another warm kiss. “Roll over.”

Anakin obediently did, and was shocked at how delicious it felt to have a hard penis sliding into him when he’d already been so thoroughly fucked. His lover’s thrusts were slower, but deeper, in this position.

He couldn’t help moaning as his centre of pleasure of stimulated so intensely.

“Good?” Xanatos asked, plunging in deep and rotating his hips.

“Force, yes!” Anakin whimpered, reaching back and up to caress his lover’s flexing thighs. His sex was filling out again, and he thrust against the sheets, seeking contact both within and without.

His lover’s deep groans of pleasure were exciting the younger man even more and soon their intercourse started to quicken, and the thrusts grew harder. Anakin could feel the hot kisses on his neck and ears, and it threw him over the edge.

Xanatos held him close as he had his second orgasm, waiting for the cries and the heated writhing to settle into soft breathless moans before thrusting in deep and giving in to sweet release.

“Better than a dildo?” bewitching green eyes were filled with mirth as they lay face to face a while later, their breathing becoming quiet and even again.

“Bastard!” Anakin laughed.

“You’re amazingly beautiful when you’re happy, you know that? Stop the angst fest and laugh a little. Go out there and live,” Xanatos cupped his face and stroked his cheek.

“No apologies and no regrets right?” the Jedi kissed him, putting heart and hope into it. “When can I see you again? That blasted Republic transport will be here in two hours.”

“Well, I’d better be gone when they get here,” Xanatos started to sit up.

“Wait, you didn’t answer my question,” an edge of desperation crept into Anakin’s voice.

“Look, I don’t do relationships. And I’m here on the Outer Rim and you’re on Coruscant, or wherever the Council chooses to send you,” Xanatos smiled as he stood up and reached for his clothes, “We’ll see each other in our dreams.”

He had said this to so many men so many times and seen the disappointment, and in rare cases real hurt, in so many lovers’ eyes that he would not spare such moments a second’s thought after they had passed. But then he saw the despair descend in Anakin’s eyes, turning the warm blue to a shade of darkness.

The Jedi do not love, and it was a horrible, cold prison for someone whose very nature was defined by its ability to love passionately and uncompromisingly.

He should know.

Xanatos quietly cursed the heroic streak that had been making such a dramatic manifestation since his reincarnation. The Force must have messed with his mind.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pressed the point, it’s more than I have a right to ask you…” the Jedi’s voice was flat, tired. Hollow.

Xanatos spent a whole second gnashing his teeth, trying to delay the inevitable outburst of goodness that so often overwhelmed Brian Killern against the brutal and feared warlord’s better judgement.

Anakin was startled with a kiss, and then his new lover said, “You should never have to apologise for having the balls to ask inappropriate questions, or for feeling.”

“Give me your comm. link, I’ll stick this bug in it and then you’ll know whenever you and I are in the same area without anyone else picking up my signal. But understand that this doesn’t make me your lover or boyfriend or whatever. I’m just doing my bit to save the galaxy because you obviously will become tortured and Sithly without my help…”

The smile on Anakin’s face was so bright and warm that it could have melted Hoth.

Xanatos couldn’t help grinning as he tossed the device back to his beaming lover, “Don’t you dare tell anyone about our arrangement, I’ve spent three years building up my rep as an evil heartbreaker of a bastard…and the best fuck in the galaxy.”

Anakin hopped out of bed and grabbed Xanatos around the waist. They were almost the same height and build, testament to the beautifying effects of rigorous Jedi training, but he loved the contrast of his own golden toned skin against the older man’s paleness.

“The second half of your reputation is already very well known I suspect, but the first part, well…your secret is safe with me. So, do you really need two whole hours to get out of here before the Republic Army arrives? Because I’ll make it worth your while to stay,” long, lingering kiss, followed by an inviting glance through long lashes.

Xanatos laughed. Why the hell not?

******