Kill Bill Gone Insane!
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G through L › Kill Bill (All)
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
2,269
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
G through L › Kill Bill (All)
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
1
Views:
2,269
Reviews:
4
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own the Kill Bill movie series, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Kill Bill Gone Insane!
KILL BILL GONE INSANE!!!!!!!
Disclaimer: we own nothing except Bob the Sound Guy and we don’t own the rights to anything in the “Kill Bill” movies. Please R&R!!!
Our story begins at the airport.
(The bride is walking through the airport, and then the camera does a close-up of her butt)
Director: Man, that’s hot! (drools)
The Bride: You pervert!!! (she beats up the cameraman with her plastic samurai sword and bitch slaps the Director.)
Director: YOU’RE FIRED!!!!!!!
Donald Trump: *clears throat* Um excuse me, that’s MY line!
Director: Oh for the love of Pete!!! Someone pay Mr. Trump!!!! (smokes some crack), Ok people, let’s get ready to trash the Blue Leaves restaurant!
(Scene cuts to the interior of the House of Blue Leaves)
O-Ren: Now play that really dramatic music as we are walking in slow motion for no reason at all!
(Music plays)
(Bride is at the bar, her hair has grown at least 4 inches since she walked through the airport 10 seconds ago. Follows Sophie into the ladies’ room and the Bride notices cameraman in the same stall with her.)
Bride: You pervert! I’m in the bathroom!! (punches cameraman out, the camera falls to the floor and we see Uma’s yellow shoes walk past the and we hear a groan from the dude operating the camera.)
Scene cuts to:
Johnny Mo: Look at me running like a maniac down the hallway! Now listen to me screaming for no reason! Aaaahhh!
(The Crazy 88 comes bursting through the walls. Unfortunately, the Burly Brawl from the Matrix sequels was filming next door and hordes of Smith clones come in as well.)
Director: Aw, Jeez…..(starts smokes more crack)
(The Bride starts slicing up Smith clones.)
Director: Er, Uma, wrong dudes! Kill the guys with the swords, NOT the guns!
(Crazy 88 surround the Bride)
Goon With Chain: I have this really bitchin’ chain and I’m swinging it around! (hits Johnny Mo in the face)
JM: Oww!!!!!!!, you moron, watch where you are swinging that thing! (kills the chain dude)
Bride: Yay! That means I only have 564 left to kill! Now, circle around me and just stand there. Cool, I can see behind myself if I raise my sword in a threatening manner! Damn, I DO have a nice butt!
Crazy 88’s Who Are Behind Her: (drooling), Yes, you certainly do!
Director: Can we get back to the script now???? (smokes even more crack). OK, now you all wait for her to attack you one at a time instead of swarming her and killing her instantly!
(Fight begins and the Bride pulls out the eye of a Crazy 88 dude)
Director: Now we have to go to black and white, cuz this movie won’t make it past the censors if we don’t!
(movie turns to black and white)
(Smith clones are still there and start shooting, killing the extra cast members, including “Guy Who Looks Like Charlie Brown”)
(Bride is on the floor, break dancing and slicing the legs off of everyone to cool music).
(Crazy 88 dude who picks up his leg and looks at it): Damn! This is gonna hurt in the morning! But the good news is that I only need to buy ONE shoe from now on, yay!
Guy Who Gets Sliced in Half: Gaspatcho soup! (Dies)
Director: Huh?
Bob the Sound Guy (rolls his eyes): The authorette already did that in her first “Matrix” parody. Read it, it’s REALLY funny!
Director: How did it go?
Bob: She got two reviews just for using that line. Only “Red Dwarf” fans understood what that means….
The Bride: Um, can we get back to the movie now??? (runs up the banister of the staircase and fights with Johnny Mo). See me grab this bamboo pole and knock you out with it!
Johnny Mo: I’m back! (does really cool spinning while fighting on the railing with the Bride)
Bride: (slices off JM’s leg off at the knee)
JM: I can’t die, I have to come back as Pei Mei in the next movie!! (falls)
Director: We already filmed that scene, you idiot! Now just fall into the bloody water and die already will you???
(Anakin and Obi-Wan Kenobi come through the wall)
Both: This is what a REAL swordfight is supposed to look like!
Director: Get off the damn set! (runs out of crack and starts going nuts. Grabs one of the Smith clones’ guns, starts shooting, and is hauled off the set for immediate psychiatric care.)
O-Ren: Um, hello? I’m freezing my ass off out here in the Snow Room!! Can (Bride’s name bleeped) get out here so we can fight???
(Wife of Charlie Brown turns off the lights and most of the remaining Crazy 88’s start killing each other because they can’t see and only The Kid is left. Bride spanks him and he runs out of the restaurant crying.)
Bride: (goes into Snow Room): Any more subordinates for me to kill here???
(starts fighting with O-Ren and then falls on her ass laughing so hard because O-Ren has put on fuzzy, bunny slippers)
O-Ren: What? I’ve been standing in the snow for over an hour, waiting for you to kill everyone! My feet are freezing!
(Bride slices off the top of O-Ren’s head)
O-Ren: You bitch! You ruined my hair-do! (dies)
(Scene goes to Bride in the plane and we see a shot of what she is writing:
To Do List:
Remaining People to Kill in as bloody a way as possible:
Budd
Vernita
Darryl Hannah
Bill--Pick up daughter BB after I kill him
Get rid of The Pussy Wagon and pick up a cool little car for the sequel!!!
Need milk
Feed the fish
THE END
Disclaimer: we own nothing except Bob the Sound Guy and we don’t own the rights to anything in the “Kill Bill” movies. Please R&R!!!
Our story begins at the airport.
(The bride is walking through the airport, and then the camera does a close-up of her butt)
Director: Man, that’s hot! (drools)
The Bride: You pervert!!! (she beats up the cameraman with her plastic samurai sword and bitch slaps the Director.)
Director: YOU’RE FIRED!!!!!!!
Donald Trump: *clears throat* Um excuse me, that’s MY line!
Director: Oh for the love of Pete!!! Someone pay Mr. Trump!!!! (smokes some crack), Ok people, let’s get ready to trash the Blue Leaves restaurant!
(Scene cuts to the interior of the House of Blue Leaves)
O-Ren: Now play that really dramatic music as we are walking in slow motion for no reason at all!
(Music plays)
(Bride is at the bar, her hair has grown at least 4 inches since she walked through the airport 10 seconds ago. Follows Sophie into the ladies’ room and the Bride notices cameraman in the same stall with her.)
Bride: You pervert! I’m in the bathroom!! (punches cameraman out, the camera falls to the floor and we see Uma’s yellow shoes walk past the and we hear a groan from the dude operating the camera.)
Scene cuts to:
Johnny Mo: Look at me running like a maniac down the hallway! Now listen to me screaming for no reason! Aaaahhh!
(The Crazy 88 comes bursting through the walls. Unfortunately, the Burly Brawl from the Matrix sequels was filming next door and hordes of Smith clones come in as well.)
Director: Aw, Jeez…..(starts smokes more crack)
(The Bride starts slicing up Smith clones.)
Director: Er, Uma, wrong dudes! Kill the guys with the swords, NOT the guns!
(Crazy 88 surround the Bride)
Goon With Chain: I have this really bitchin’ chain and I’m swinging it around! (hits Johnny Mo in the face)
JM: Oww!!!!!!!, you moron, watch where you are swinging that thing! (kills the chain dude)
Bride: Yay! That means I only have 564 left to kill! Now, circle around me and just stand there. Cool, I can see behind myself if I raise my sword in a threatening manner! Damn, I DO have a nice butt!
Crazy 88’s Who Are Behind Her: (drooling), Yes, you certainly do!
Director: Can we get back to the script now???? (smokes even more crack). OK, now you all wait for her to attack you one at a time instead of swarming her and killing her instantly!
(Fight begins and the Bride pulls out the eye of a Crazy 88 dude)
Director: Now we have to go to black and white, cuz this movie won’t make it past the censors if we don’t!
(movie turns to black and white)
(Smith clones are still there and start shooting, killing the extra cast members, including “Guy Who Looks Like Charlie Brown”)
(Bride is on the floor, break dancing and slicing the legs off of everyone to cool music).
(Crazy 88 dude who picks up his leg and looks at it): Damn! This is gonna hurt in the morning! But the good news is that I only need to buy ONE shoe from now on, yay!
Guy Who Gets Sliced in Half: Gaspatcho soup! (Dies)
Director: Huh?
Bob the Sound Guy (rolls his eyes): The authorette already did that in her first “Matrix” parody. Read it, it’s REALLY funny!
Director: How did it go?
Bob: She got two reviews just for using that line. Only “Red Dwarf” fans understood what that means….
The Bride: Um, can we get back to the movie now??? (runs up the banister of the staircase and fights with Johnny Mo). See me grab this bamboo pole and knock you out with it!
Johnny Mo: I’m back! (does really cool spinning while fighting on the railing with the Bride)
Bride: (slices off JM’s leg off at the knee)
JM: I can’t die, I have to come back as Pei Mei in the next movie!! (falls)
Director: We already filmed that scene, you idiot! Now just fall into the bloody water and die already will you???
(Anakin and Obi-Wan Kenobi come through the wall)
Both: This is what a REAL swordfight is supposed to look like!
Director: Get off the damn set! (runs out of crack and starts going nuts. Grabs one of the Smith clones’ guns, starts shooting, and is hauled off the set for immediate psychiatric care.)
O-Ren: Um, hello? I’m freezing my ass off out here in the Snow Room!! Can (Bride’s name bleeped) get out here so we can fight???
(Wife of Charlie Brown turns off the lights and most of the remaining Crazy 88’s start killing each other because they can’t see and only The Kid is left. Bride spanks him and he runs out of the restaurant crying.)
Bride: (goes into Snow Room): Any more subordinates for me to kill here???
(starts fighting with O-Ren and then falls on her ass laughing so hard because O-Ren has put on fuzzy, bunny slippers)
O-Ren: What? I’ve been standing in the snow for over an hour, waiting for you to kill everyone! My feet are freezing!
(Bride slices off the top of O-Ren’s head)
O-Ren: You bitch! You ruined my hair-do! (dies)
(Scene goes to Bride in the plane and we see a shot of what she is writing:
To Do List:
Remaining People to Kill in as bloody a way as possible:
Budd
Vernita
Darryl Hannah
Bill--Pick up daughter BB after I kill him
Get rid of The Pussy Wagon and pick up a cool little car for the sequel!!!
Need milk
Feed the fish
THE END