The Map

A/N: Many thanks to Ani for her usual on par performance in the corrections. Any remaining are mine and mine alone.

Usual disclaimer : Own nothing except a handful of kids, a husband and pile of laundry!

Hope you enjoy and sorry for being so tardy!

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Chapter 37

Just Pondering

Jack swaggered his way down the street, wishing he had more time for pleasantries. He had passed a dressmakers shop earlier and he’d found himself wishing he had the time to take Nell there and have some clothes made for her, but it would be impossible as he intended on leaving before the first dog watch and it would take a seamstress weeks to make the dresses he wanted for Nell, not the hours they had remaining. He knew that in the hold they had some chests of clothes; he would have them brought up and she could see if there was anything she could make use of. It wouldn’t do her much good to be trailing around the ship in a long dress, but for the times they were ashore he wanted her looking like a lass and not a cabin boy.

He spotted Hock at the end of the street, leaning against the wall of a church, booted feet crossed at the ankle, and his arms folded across his chest. He looked as if he was paying no attention to anything, but Jack knew he was watching everything carefully and he wasn’t surprised when he straightened and indicated to him. Jack swayed up to him and clapped his shoulder warmly.

“I take it Nell is confessing to all her sins in there?” Jack asked and regarded the small church with doubtful eyes.

“Aye, Capt’n, been about half an hour so far; I doubt she’ll be much longer.”

“Then you obviously have no idea how Nell can find breathing a guilty thing to do,” Jack replied with a glint of gold teeth as he grinned at the taller man.

Hock laughed scratching at his chin. “What did the doc say about Will?” His laugh faded as he looked down at the shorter man beside him.

“He’s healing,” Jack replied carefully. “But as for how healed he’ll be at the end of the healing is for time to tell and us to see.”

Hock used to translating his Captains words pulled a face at the uncertainty for Will. “Not much more to be done than wait then?”

Nay,” Jack shook his head, his braids swinging as he moved. “Benjamin did a fine job of treating him on the island; talking about touched, that doctor is a strange one.” Jack’s hands danced as he spoke. “He took one look at Elizabeth and insisted on seeing her first. Fair pushed me out of the cabin; I’d had none of it, but Will was there and all he had to do was holler if the man was up to tricks.” Jack pulled at the braids on his chin. “Just bruising on her face, like Nell.” He faded out and frowned at the church door. “I’m thinking ten more minutes or I’ll be fetching her out myself, confession completed or not.”

“She’ll not be pleased if you drag her out mid Hail Mary…” Hock stopped and frowned down at his feet.

“Something bothers you?” Jack asked casually.

“Conversation turned to Isla De Muerta, Capt’n,” Hock spoke frankly. “I thought she knew about what you have there.”

“She doesn’t?” Jack lifted both eyebrows as him in surprise at his words. “I’m not certain it’s ever come up in conversation with me; Elizabeth regaled her with the tales so I assume she told her,” he mused.

“Aye, but Nell was under the impression the Navy had taken most, if not all of it,” Hock replied. “She didn’t say anything but she was thinking about it and she didn’t look too pleased.”

Jack didn’t say anything, just processed what Hock had told him. He groaned and rolled his eyes at his crewman. “I’ve a feeling I’m in line for a little trouble from Nell, although I’m not entirely certain why that would be justified, or indeed, called for.”

“Women ain’t for understanding, Capt’n,” Hock snorted in dry amusement.

“Never a truer word spoken, mate,” Jack chuckled. “But for sure, although incomprehensible, they certainly make up for it in other areas.”

Hock gave a dirty laugh running a hand down his scarred cheek; mindful of the cuts and bruises that still decorated his skin and would for a few weeks yet.

“Take yourself across to the Book and Bell over there,” Jack said quietly “I’ll wait for Nell and we’ll join you when she’s absolved herself. I’ll be going in there to nudge her along presently anyway; it’d take a month of Sundays to absolve everything she thinks she’s done, and that’s time we don’t have.”

Hock laughed casting a quick glance at the closed door of the church. “I’ll have the drinks ready,” he said and made his way across to the tavern licking his lips in anticipation.

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Nell slid to a stop the door banging shut behind her; the harsh sunlight momentarily blinding her before she made her way forwards intent on putting as much distance behind her as she could. Hands curled around her waist and she was jerked backwards into a solid, warm body.

“And where are you off to in such a hurry?” came a slow slur from behind her. She slumped back as she realised it was Jack who had caught hold of her. He brought his mouth to her neck and nuzzled the skin beneath her ear. “Have we been dipping our sticky little fingers into the poor box again?” he chuckled and was surprised when she turned in his arms and stared up at him. There was no humour or outrage at his suggestion on her face; in fact she gave no indication his words had registered at all. All he was certain of was the panic and fear in her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quietly, a frown settling between his dark brows; his eyes were alert and bottomless as he stared down at her.

Nell opened her mouth to say exactly what had happened and found herself unwilling to tell him. Where would she begin? What would she say that wouldn’t make her sound completely insane? She frowned and shut her mouth looking at the charm that hung from his braided hair. She could hear the noise of the locals around them, going about their daily business, and the sounds of the fishermen and islanders shouting out their wares; could feel the heat of the sun on her head and shoulders and the feel of Jack’s hands at her waist. She looked over his shoulder at the still closed door of the church and suddenly it didn’t seem so clear anymore. The fear began to recede and reality began to assert itself; had it been as she remembered? Had she really heard the priest correctly? She had hit her head, of that she was sure as she could still feel the ache where she had connected with the stone floor, but the priest’s concern had also seemed real when he had leant over her and his confusion when she had accused him was genuine enough. She tried to remember his exact words and found herself unable to pinpoint them; it was gradually becoming hazy, like the wisps of a dream that when you try to remember it flits away from you, always there in the back of your mind but the more you try to pin it down the more you lose it.

“Nell?” Jack’s voice cut into her thoughts and she brought her gaze up to his eyes. They were darker than she’d ever seen them before, a liquid black that glittered and held her mesmerised. His hold tightened on her waist as he frowned down at her. “You haven’t stolen from the poor box again have you?”

Nell shook her head still not registering his words as she gazed into his eyes. She was so tired and her thoughts were a tangled mess of cobwebs that refused to sort themselves into any semblance of order; so she gave up and pushed it to the back of her mind. “I’m just tired, Jack, tired and thirsty.”

“Well the thirst issue can be resolved straight away; in fact, Mister Hock is obtaining said drinks while we speak.” He grinned at her, his face and eyes showing no emotions. “And the tiredness can be remedied once we return to the Pearl.” He directed her towards the tavern, well aware that something had unsettled her; had frightened her even, and once again he was being shut out by her. It annoyed him and irritated him, but at the same time he realised that trusting was something Nell had very little dealings with. Any trust she’d placed in her guardian and the convent had been firmly destroyed the moment Jack had told her what was really on her back. Her entire belief system had been wiped out and he shouldn’t really expect her to trust him just because she could. He would have to work at her; build her trust and confidence not only in him but in herself and it would start by trying to ease out of her everything that had happened to her on the island. He knew there was a lot that had gone on inside her mind that she hadn’t spoken about; he also knew the monks and islanders had left their own memories in her and he had no doubt that kind of pressure, if left inside her to bottle up, would finally explode. And that was something he would not allow to happen; because if he did he wasn’t entirely certain what would be left of Nell after.

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Hock watched Nell and Jack closely; he could see something had occurred but he wasn’t sure what it was. Jack was quieter than usual and although he was still alert to their surroundings, Hock noticed that he was watching Nell just as closely. But it was Nell that Hock couldn’t read properly; her eyes were fixed on the table and it was obvious she was miles away in her head. He gave up trying to make conversation and concentrated on his drink, his thoughts turning to the necklace in his pocket and the woman he’d fallen for on the Pearl. What was it about women that made a man’s life resemble hell and heaven at the same time? He shrugged, the movement caught Jack’s eye and he lifted an eyebrow at him in question.

“Just pondering,” Hock said and frowned at the sombre mood that seemed to hover over them. He saw Nell look up at him and he almost winced at the bruises on her face and the shadowed look in her eyes. He didn’t want to think about what had put them there, not yet anyway - he’d not consumed enough rum to let himself think over the events on the island; and then it hit him that if he was finding it difficult, how on earth was Nell handling it?

He frowned again and without even thinking he reached across and patted her shoulder gently. “It’s a bugger isn’t it?” he mused quietly. “What I’d give to wipe the last few days out of our minds forever…”

“But you can’t,” Jack cut in firmly causing Nell to look at him startled by his outburst. “All we can do is accept it and hope to God we never come across it again.”

Nell looked away from Jack and back at her drink. “God has nothing to do with it,” she spoke bitterly. “Besides, it would appear it seems to follow you around, Jack; first it’s dead pirates and then it’s….” she stopped unable to go on any further.

”They weren’t dead, luv, just cursed,” Jack pointed out. “And twice hardly constitutes being followed by curses, considering how old I am and how long I’ve been a pirate.”

Nell looked up at him and narrowed her eyes, allowing her mind to take a tangent. “How old are you, Jack?”

“Don’t know,” he admitted quietly. “I gave up counting when I hit twenty two and I never was sure which year I was born in so I don’t really bother, never had the need to. Why? How old do you think I am?” he took the opportunity to direct the conversation away from the island; it would serve two purposes, it would stop anyone overhearing and working out what he didn’t want anyone to know, and secondly, it would divert Nell, maybe hold the dam in her a little longer, the dam that he knew was going to crack sooner or later.

“At least eighty,” Hock cut in knowing exactly what Jack was doing and determined to help him.

Jack cast him a dark glance, pleased to hear Nell giggle slightly. “I’ll have you know, I can’t be a day over thirty.”

“I would have said forty,” Nell spoke up, and although her voice was still shaded, a touch of her humour had returned slightly.

Jack stopped and blinked, realising that she could indeed be right. “Bloody insult woman!” he lifted one eyebrow. “Thirty and not a day older!”

“I’m twenty next month,” Nell said quietly and looked back down at her drink. “But I feel a hundred and twenty at the moment.”

Silence descended on them as they stared at her slumped forwards despondently until Hock put his drink down and took her free hand in his. She looked up at him in surprise but didn’t take her hand away, not even when he pulled her forwards slightly, and then he placed her hand on Jack’s arm.

“There, lass, now you’re feeling a hundred and twenty!” he grinned at her and was more than pleased when Nell burst into peals of laughter. Jack grumbled good naturedly, winking at Hock when Nell continued to laugh, her fingers curling into his jacket sleeve.

“And you’ll be feeling the sharp end of my sword if you disrespect me again, mate,” Jack laughed and drained his drink and then signalled to the serving maid for another round of drinks.

“I thought he was being quite conservative actually,” Nell giggled, the laughter had eased something inside of her, had taken the edge of things, even if it was only for a while. “Word has it, that Davy Jones himself is a nipper compared to you!”

“Watch it, lass, I’m not too old to put you over my knee for such mutinous talk!” Jack slurred and nodded his head at her.

“Oh I see - favouritism!” Hock laughed. “I’m threatened with a dagger and she’s threatened with a spanking…”

Jack looked at Hock and lifted an eyebrow. “Well, I’m not all that into spanking men,” he replied dryly, and was not prepared at all for Nell to choke on his words with laughter, her eyes starting to sparkle with real humour again. Their light hearted banter chased away the memories of the church for the time being and she was more than willing to go along with it.

“Are you hungry, lass?” Jack asked her and nodded in satisfaction when she shook her head, a grin still on her face.

“Ere ye go, Capt’n,” came a low husky voice and three more tankards were placed on the table. Nell looked up and her mouth fell open at the woman who was standing with one hand on her hip and the other holding an empty tray. “Anything else ye be wantin’ while yer ‘ere?” she leant forwards slightly and Nell couldn’t help but stare at her ample bust which was only just contained in a bodice so tight Nell didn’t think she could possibly breathe. Nell couldn’t help herself and took a deep breath almost in sympathy for the woman, certain that the bodice had to be painful. The girl heard Nell’s intake of air and looked down at where Nell’s gaze was still locked on her bust. She giggled, and reaching over, slid her hand over Nell’s hair, gently.

“Ye be likin’ what ye see?” she asked with a chuckle. “Can’t say as I’ve done a lass recently; but yer coins are all the same t’me.”

“I’m really sorry but I have no money to pay you with,” Nell said awkwardly, thinking that the woman was asking her to pay for the rum.

Hock spluttered into his drink sending ale all over the table; he coughed violently as he choked making Jack bang his back as he laughed. Nell looked at both men as if they had taken leave of their senses.

“Aww! C’mon, old Sarah, will treat yer right, and seein’ as yer a lass, it’ll be half the price I ask the men. I’ll even let you ‘ave a taste of what you’ll be ‘avin’…” She leaned forwards and before Nell knew what was happening, she’d slapped the tray on the table and gripped Nell’s head in her hands and was pressing her lips to Nell. She tilted her head and slid her tongue over Nell’s lips making her gasp in shock, which the girl took advantage of and deepened the kiss even more. Nell pulled away from her, scooting her chair sideways into Jack who slipped his arm around her shoulders and kissed her ear chuckling; his face was smug as he looked up at the older girl.

“I, I, er… I,” Nell stuttered looking at where Hock was still trying to clear the liquid that had gone down his throat the wrong way.

Sarah looked at Jack’s possessive hold on her and grinned. “Ah! Oh well…” She looked to Hock raising her eyebrow at him, but he shook his head, waving his hand in a no gesture, still unable to make any sounds but faint rasping noises. The woman shrugged, disappointed in losing some money, but she gave them all a cheery grin and taking the tray went in search of more drinks and possible paying company.

Nell reached forwards and drained her tankard with Jack’s arm still around her. She put the tankard down and wiped her lips. “I had no idea…” she blushed and looked at where Hock had recovered himself and was drinking again; Jack watched her carefully and tightened his hold.

“And did it send fire to your toes, lass?” he asked completely unable to keep the laughter from his voice.

“What? When she kissed me?” asked Nell contemplating it for a few seconds before shaking her head. “It was… well… it was… it felt the same as when Mister Bryant kissed me actually.”

Once again Hock spluttered into his tankard, ale spraying everywhere again as he looked at Nell in shock before looking at Jack for his reaction.

Jack waved his hand in dismissal. “It would seem as if Nell is given to letting anyone kiss her.” He spoke lightly but it made her frown at him.

“I beg your pardon! I do not let anyone kiss me; she took me by surprise and so did he!” She pulled away from him and scraped her chair back into place.

Jack smirked at her, aware of Hock’s shocked face; he couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen him shocked by anything and it amused him that Nell had managed it twice in the space of a few minutes.

“You’re gonna kill me, lass,” Hock grumbled, wiping his streaming eyes and coughing again.

“If you must know, I thought she was asking me to pay for the drinks,” she said haughtily, her chin lifting in dignity.

“Oh, aye,” slurred Jack. “And what’s your excuse for letting the red-coat kiss you?” He managed to keep the bolt of jealousy he felt from his voice.

Nell narrowed her eyes at Jack and folded her arms. “I had no idea it was his intention…” she faded out as she remembered what had happened between her and Bryant. Jack didn’t take too kindly to the far-away look in her eyes or the small grin that tugged at her lips. Narrowing his eyes, he lifted himself up slightly and gripped her shirt tugging her across the table; his lips colliding with hers as Nell’s arms flailed slightly. Jack lifted his other hand to grip her head as Nell gasped in surprised shock at his actions; he took full advantage of her open mouth and swept his tongue across her own. He felt her shudder under his touch and he tugged her closer with one hand till she was almost sprawled across the table; her hands gripping his arms as he kissed her with enough intensity to send her senses into a whirl. Fire swept through her and she groaned into his mouth kissing him back with as much passion as he was kissing her; her fingers curling into her arms tightly as he sent her spinning. He’d only meant to kiss her quickly, just to wipe that smile from her face, but the moment his lips touched hers it changed. He dragged his head back from her, seeing the desire in her eyes and the swollen, kissed look on her lips and he nodded in satisfaction.

“That’s better,” he mused and set her back, taking a deep breath to calm his own rapidly beating heart.

“Well…” Nell lifted a hand to her cheek and blinked at Jack, blushing when she heard Hock snigger in approval.

“Now, you can’t tell me fire didn’t reach your toes on that one!” Jack said confidently making her blush even harder when he sent her a suggestive wink and a wicked smirk.

“Look, I’d rather drink my ale, than use it to extinguish you two,” Hock snorted into his drink before looking at Nell thoughtfully. “Just why did you kiss the red-coat?”

Nell opened and shut her mouth a couple of times, aware that Jack was waiting to hear her answer as well. “I didn’t expect it…” she stopped. “It was in the caves, after you found me and sent me back with him; he just kissed me… but it felt wrong somehow, like kissing an aunt or a friend.” She directed her answer at Jack, although the question had been Hock’s. “I expect it was the nerves and fear that triggered it,” she shrugged. “I do consider him a friend, like a brother I suppose, but it wasn’t the same as when you kiss me; it will never be the same with another man, no matter how well they kiss.”

“And just how many more men do you plan on kissing anyway?” Jack asked but there was no hostility in his voice; he’d understood what she hadn’t put into words and it made him feel good.

“I’d be first in line,” Hock offered with a chuckle. “At least, I would if I didn’t know that you’d have my head, right after Tilly had chopped off my balls that is!” he grinned at Jack as he spoke aware of the rush of colour that filled Nell’s face at his choice of words.

“Tilly?” Jack asked quietly. “I though it was Lady Clarence,” he inflected his voice on the Lady but Hock didn’t react to the mocking slur.

“That’s her married name apparently,” he said. “Neither of us particularly wants to be reminded of that at any time, let alone when we’re fuc…” he stopped in time and shrugged, taking pity on the blood that still filled Nell’s cheeks.

“Hmm, you have a point,” Jack mused. “Could be a little… off putting.”

“Will her husband give her up easily?” asked Nell, looking back and forth between them.

“He isn’t going to be given the choice,” Hock said firmly. “She’s not going back to Port Royal.” He had already discussed it briefly with Jack but nothing in depth had been decided.

“We’d already decided neither of us was going to go there,” Nell said quietly. “Even before you became…” Nell frowned unsure how to label their relationship. “If you kept your end of the bargain, about a share in the treasure, we were going to leave together.” She looked at Jack.

“If, if? Still with the bloody ifs, Nell. You’ll still have a share, even if you do decide to stay on the Pearl with me.” Jack rolled his eyes impatiently.

“If, if?” Nell returned sharply. “Still with the bloody ifs on my staying aboard, Jack?”

Hock snorted again and shook his head, thankful he hadn’t just taken a drink. “Oh, I’m so going to enjoy being on the Pearl with you two,” he announced looking at Jack. “I think you’ve definitely met your match.”

“And you’ll be definitely meeting your maker unless you shut up!” Jack replied dryly relieved to see Nell giggling into her drink; although he knew nothing was resolved just pushed to the back for the time being and that’s where he wanted it to stay, at least until they were back aboard the Pearl.

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A/N: Ah well… what can I say…. Sorry about the wait I suppose. Life is overtaking at the moment and allowing for nothing more than that occasional stop for a breather! (If I’m lucky!).

But I hope you enjoyed it anyway. I won’t beg for reviews (it’s unrefined), but they would be nice ;-). And thank you to everyone who has left such lovely comments and emails.

Take care of yourselves and have a great week.