Nice Blowing You

Title: Nice Blowing You 07/25/06
Author: Lydia Nightshade
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Johnny/Orlando
Disclaimer: I do not know these men. I am making all of this up for fantasy purposes. I do not know their sexual preferences in real life and frankly I don’t care because I’m never going to meet them anyway.
Warnings: RPS, man sex, slight spoilers for DMC, & I suppose dubious consent, but nothing really wild or dark.
Archive: my writing journal www.livejournal.com/users/night_writes
Beta: the voices… O.O
Dedication: For the awesome Huney Hunters because she’s always up for a graphic discussion of what Johnny & Orlando may have been up to on the set. Te he!

Author’s Notes: I wrote most of this whilst at work and I work 3rd shift so I was rather tired. However, it was a combination of talking with Huney and walking around a dark building at night that gave me the idea for this. I apologize for any offenses, but only half assedly because I honestly don’t give a shit if you think Homosexual relationships are, like, totally icky! Go blow it out your pie hole.


*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Orlando walked into the costume closet after a long night of filming. It had been an awful shoot, more of being perpetually cold and wet for this bloody stupid pirate movie. Even with it being the Caribbean it was still bloody cold! To make it worse he had to do the flogging scene over twenty times with Johnny standing just off to the side—dry as a bone—laughing at him and making obscene gestures.

“As if I wasn’t frustrated enough,” he muttered. Everyone else had bolted shortly after Gore declared it a wrap for the night. Johnny had slipped him a note to meet him in the costume trailer—why he couldn’t imagine. They’d been cooling things off and as of yet they hadn’t done anything in months.

“Fucking paparazzi!” he hissed as he opened the door to a pitch black interior. He fumbled for the light, but couldn’t find it. With an aggravated huff he decided to just wait in the dark. Unfortunately for the young heartthrob, a box ‘came out of nowhere’ and sent the clumsy Brit flying forward and smack into a warm body.

“Clutz,” Johnny’s deep voice teased, patting the man’s hair back from his face. Orlando grunted his annoyance and pushed himself to his feet.

“Drunk,” he snapped back. Johnny pushed him back against the door, pinning the other man with his own body, and crushed their lips together. Orlando protested only a moment before allowing himself to melt into the act. He could feel Johnny’s hot wet tongue parting his lips and gladly wrestled the slippery invader with his own slick muscle. Johnny’s strong slim fingers slide down Orlando’s sides to cup his firm ass and press their already growing erections together. When Johnny pulled away Orlando mewled and tried to keep it going, sighing when he saw Johnny’s gold teeth shinning in the coming sunrise.

“That’s wino, dear Orlando—wino.” The Brit rolled his eyes and reached for the belt holding up his sometimes lover’s pants.

“Whatever, just fuck me already. I thought you’d finally gone straight on me.” Johnny laughed at the comment.

“No more than any other actor, sweet pea.” He hissed in pleasure when he felt Orlando’s cold hand encircle his hot cock. “But paparazzi can be such a kill joy these days—as you already know,” he purred, pumping into the Brit’s hand while running his hands under Orlando’s tight shirt. A brush of the lad’s dusky nipple earned him a wet gasp in his ear.

“You’re so responsive—I’ve always admired that quality in you, Orlando.” He could tell Orli was more than ready for a fuck—hell that was one of the reasons he’d ignored him for so long. Well, that reason and the children visiting the set.

“Got any lube?” Orlando breathed as Johnny sucked on the nape of his neck and worked him through his jeans. The chuckle he received surprised him.

“Nope.” Was the hot response blown over his sensitive, kiss raddled skin.

“What?” Orlando moaned as Johnny’s magic fingers worked him into a ball of pre-cum.

“I didn’t bring any lube.” Came the coy reply. Orlando was having a hard time processing with the tiny waves of pleasure traveling through his nether regions and beyond. When it finally dawned on him h grabbed Johnny’s wrist to stop him.

“Tell me you’re joking…” Johnny gave him a quick kiss on the nose and flick of his fingers causing the younger man to whimper in need and then glare hatred at him. “You mean to tell me you planned all this out you forgot the fucking lube?!”

“Don’t be so angry, Orli. There’s a silver lining to every to every dark cloud.” He smirked, taking his hand from the boy’s cock and bringing it to Orlando’s plump lips. When one finger slid inside, Orlando got his lover’s meaning.

“I’m not doing that.” He protested, pulling away. “If you want head so bad go to your wife.” Johnny pouted, but didn’t give up, still running his fingers along Orlando’s pink lips.

“Well if you want someone to fuck you in the ass go call Kate.” Orlando flinched.

“Low blow, Johnny. You know it’s not like that between us.” He paused, “besides, she’s missing some vital equipment.”

“That can be bought, my dear Vanilla boy.” Johnny instructed, leaning in to place flirtatious kisses all over the brown-eyed beauty’s face and neck. Orlando turned his head.

“It’s not the same and you know it,” he said dejectedly.

“Now you know my problem,” Johnny said, smiling against the smooth tanned skin of Orli’s neck. Orlando was responding by rubbing their groins together, desperately trying to get off. “Oh come on,” Johnny teased, forcing Orlando to look at him. “No one can suck my cock quite like the great Orlando Bloom.” Said legend flushed at the memories of going down on Johnny all over the first ‘Pirates’ set. It had been quite fun. Johnny saw the look…

“There’s my dirty boy,” he cooed, diving down in for another kiss. It was fierce and passionate, a battle of wills. Orlando wanted to resist, but who could resist the great Johnny Depp? He mewled in pleasure when he felt Johnny press his hip between his legs and began to grind the younger man.

“Fuck you never play fair,” Orlando moaned at a particularly well angled thrust.

“Well…” Johnny wiggled his eyebrows. Orlando looked at him seriously and put a finger to the older man’s lips.

“If you say ‘pirate’ I will never suck you off again.” Johnny’s grin faded and he nodded.

“Fine.” Another flick of his fingers and Orlando was back to squealing. Johnny’s smile returned as he pushed on Orlando’s shoulders and the Brit complied—getting down on his knees and looking up at the American lustfully. Orli licked his lips at the sight of his lover’s sex. Johnny was a thick, long man with veins coursing up to meet the already dripping mushroom head. Just the sight made the Brit aroused.

Gentle but firm hands with long fingers twirled in his dampened hair only made his own cock throb with need. He let Johnny play with his hair a moment before taking hold of the American’s slim hips and tilting his head to run his tongue up the side of Johnny’s silky flesh. Orlando smiled to himself when he heard the gasping noise Johnny made as he teased the head—taking his time to roll his tongue around it and then up and down the slit.

“Uh,” Johnny grunted as he felt the lad squeeze the base of his throbbing organ before taking it into his hot wet mouth. Orlando sucked like he was trying to get water from a stone at first, then slower and longer—bobbing his head painfully slow as to savor the moment and the flavor. He let his hands glide up and down as well, working his lover like a human instrument.

When he thought Johnny might cum he squeezed the base and pulled away, offering up small licks of his tongue before going back to long licks that traced the veins and made Johnny go weak in the knees. Orlando never took his eyes off the older man unless it was to simply close his eyes to fully enjoy what he was doing. The licks became wet kissed that ran the length of Johnny’s cock until an agitated grunt prompted him to go back to sucking his lover off good and proper.

Orli moaned deep in his throat making Johnny buck his hips. Orlando was prepared though and held him in place—bobbing his head faster and faster and hollowing his cheeks to nurse his lover to his peak. Sensing that Johnny was almost to the point of release he attempted to pull off, but Johnny had other plans. To Orlando’s surprise Johnny’s grip on his hair tightened and he continued to fuck the youth’s mouth. Orlando protested with a grunt but was ignored as he felt Johnny’s cum splash against his throat.

“Fuck,” Johnny panted, releasing his lover’s hair so he could brace against the wall. Orlando gagged and hacked up the substance in his throat.

“You fucker! I was trying to stop!” He wiped his moth and spat a few times. “You know I hate when you cum in my throat!” Johnny slid down to the younger man’s level, a very satisfied grin on his face.

“Sorry, baby, you’re just so good.” Johnny leaned over for a kiss, but Orlando shrugged him off.

“Don’t be mad, Orli darling. I hate when you’re mad.”

“You’d be pissed too!” Orlando grumbled. “I haven’t had a decent fuck in so long I can’t even remember, I’ve got all this shite to deal with, and then you go and use me to get off!” He punched the American in the shoulder.

“Ouch!”

“Lousy wanker, you’re just like everyone else. You use me to get off and then you leave me with a…” he motioned to his crotch, “incredibly painful erection and no fuck!” He screamed in frustration. “If I wanted this I’d have another inane lunch with—” he was cut off by Johnny’s lips smashing into his. Fighting at first, he begrudgingly fell for the other man’s charms.

Johnny pushed up the Brit’s shirt as he kissed him, stopping it only to pull the offending material over slightly damp curls. It got stuck on Orlando’s head leaving him blinded with his arms forced up, but his lips and nose exposed.

“I rather like this,” Johnny purred going in for another kiss. He tweaked one of Orlando’s nipples, making the younger man tremble with desire. Orlando reached for Johnny’s lips, but he kept pulling away, only allowing shadows and hints of actual kisses. The action earned him a few nervous laughs from his companion.

“Stop teasing. You always tease.” Orlando wined. Johnny relented and pulled the shirt all the way off to reveal dewy brown eyes looking at him hopefully.

“I’ve got to do something to get the old man hard again,” he explained. “And seeing you,” he paused to kiss the nape of Orli’s neck, “writhing,” another kiss slightly higher, “sweaty,” higher still, “and completely at,” a firm kiss to swollen pink lips, “my mercy,” one more kiss. “Always makes me hard.” Orlando was dripping with need and breathing heavy at Johnny’s ministrations—not resisting when Johnny placed his shaking hand so he could feel that the older man was telling the truth.

“Oh…” Orli breathed, his body practically on fire from all the attention. “So does that mean you’re ready?” he asked coyly, giving his lover a playful squeeze. Johnny closed his eyes and pursed his lips.

“Mmhmm,” he groaned, pulling at Orlando’s trousers. The Brit complied pulling them off and straddling Johnny’s lap. “Better put some of this on, love.” Johnny said, pulling a tube of lube out of his pocket.

“You fucking wanker! You lied to me this whole time?!” Johnny just looked up in a very Capt. Jack Sparrow manner and nodded.

“Yup.” He could tell Orlando wanted to really throttle his brains out but luckily for the old sneak the kid was far too turned on to bother. Muttering curses under his breath Orlando slicked up Johnny’s cock before positioning himself and sliding down to the hilt in one quick thrust. Both men sighed deeply, leaning into the other as their senses were assaulted in the most provocative way.

“Uh, god, I forgot how thick you are,” Orlando said through gritted teeth. He could feel every breath Johnny took from inside him and quivered at the sensation, rolling his head back and sliding his fingers into the brown silky hair before him. Johnny wrapped his arms around Orlando’s chest and licked up the lithe body, stopping to suck on Orlando’s Adam’s apple.

“Move, angel, move,” Johnny coaxed, gripping the flesh on Orlando’s back in tight messaging grasps. The younger man didn’t have to be asked twice as he swiveled his hips and bounced up and down. Up and down. Up and down. Nice and slow—just to torture Johnny to get back at him for the deceit. His head fell forward and he kissed Johnny again, this time he was in control and it was a rough kiss, full of anger and arousal. Johnny loved this side of Orlando. He could be so innocent at times, but played just right he could be a real vixen and that’s just what Johnny wanted.

Orlando worked him harder and harder, working himself into a sexual frenzy and making Johnny’s jaw go slack as he was turned into a primal animal knowing only what his lower brain wanted—to fuck and fuck well.

“Fucking… wanker!” Orlando grunted as he finally felt himself cum, his eyes rolling back along with his body. Watching the slick and shinning body writhe in orgasm made Johnny cum once again, his eyes squeezing shut and his mouth slack in a silent scream. Orlando was breathing heavy, still allowing Johnny to stay inside as he calmed down. Finally he looked back at the other man and licked his lips, his hair in his face and eyes dark with desire.

“Bastard,” he whispered as he grabbed Johnny’s face to kiss him hard and long. Johnny let Orlando lead the kiss once again, enjoying being the submissive one as long as it was to his brown eyed nymph. His mouth was assaulted by Orlando’s strong muscle, sucking on it in return. Orlando slowly pulled away letting Johnny’s bottom lip pop out of his mouth as he slowly pulled away releasing the plump curve. They both had devious smiles on their faces, sweat covering their taught frames. After a few more kisses Orlando finally got the strength to move off the older man’s cock and pull his pants back on.

“How is it you managed to stay almost completely clothed and I end up butt naked on the dirty floor?” Orlando laughed, looking at Johnny’s open shirt and trousers. “You could have at least dropped your pants, mate.” He emphasized his point by grabbing the now limp member and jerking it around. “Getting too lazy in your old age?”

“Be careful with that,” Johnny scolded, removing Orlando’s hand and tucking himself back in. “I’m not 25 anymore, I have to take care of the old man—and he’s the only old man in here by the way,” he said sternly making a point to glare at his much younger lover.

“Old fart,” Orlando whispered impishly.

“Look who’s talking Mr. Turning-Thirty-In-Another-Year,” Johnny quipped. “In this business you might as well be 80 now.” Orlando rolled his eyes.

“But I’ve got you to keep me young and hip.”

“If I keep these encounters up I’ll need a new hip, you bugger!” Johnny smacked Orlando before pulling him in for a noogy. “Little nymph here is going to send me to an early grave.” Orlando giggled and batted at Johnny’s hand. The older man released him finally and then pulled him in for another kiss, slow and sensual. “Mmmm, taste like my cum,” he mewled when the parted.

“Early grave or not, you’ll at least be happy.” Orlando taunted, running his hand inside Johnny’s shirt. “I don’t think you’ll ever really die. Johnny Depp can’t die. He’s too god-like to do the same as us mere mortals.”

“Did I forget to mention the pact with Satan? It’s part of the deal, I never age and I get to keep fucking the next ‘me’ every new decade—it’s tops, love!” Orlando mock snarled and twisted Johnny’s nipple making his lover jump. “Careful! I only get one set of those.”

“You’re so full of piss and wine.” Orlando mumbled, leaning back against Johnny’s chest to bask in the after glow. “I enjoyed this. When can we do it again?” He finally asked wistfully, playing with the button on his pants. Johnny sighed and took a deep breath.

“Give me five more minutes…”

~Fin~

Damn, it’s never taken me that long to write a fucking fuck story before. It was slightly darker than my usual PWP’s, but it’s just how it came out and all in all it’s not really anything that dark so wah, wah, wah…. Probably more realistic this way anyway.