Yearning

Author: The Brothers Grimm is licensed to whomever it belongs to, so I don't own it. I only own the situation I've shoved these two into. Enjoy the smut.

Jake trimmed his quill for the third time that evening and frowned. He could hear the revelry taking place downstairs, and couldn’t help but disapprove. He knew his brother was down there somewhere, most likely getting drunk and flirting with the whores.
That was the reason this was the third time he was trimming his quill. As he tried to write, the ink always dried in it because he couldn’t get that one disturbing thought out of his head.
Will was flirting with the whores. He was tired of dealing with having his brother waking up in the arms of some unknown female and smelling of sex until Jake somehow managed to get him to wash off a little. Just to get the sweat and the scent off. He couldn’t stand it.
He’d never been able to stand the smell of a woman, or a girl, even. Ever since their sister had died, he’d always associated women with pain, death, and grief. So he could barely keep himself from gagging whenever he awoke to the smell of a woman. He wished there was a way he could lock his brother out, but there was no way he could. Not from this room.
Nor from his heart.
Which was another reason why he was trimming his quill. Every now and then a thought would slowly form in his head that would disturb him and he would shake it off by trying to finish a story that he had begun.
Will was his brother. Will was also male. And he was very, very straight. Time had proved that over and over. But...just once...? He might be too drunk to remember...it’d be just another illusion provided by the night and too much back-of-the-shed ale.
NO. Will was his brother.
But why did it not seem to matter? Why did he stay with him, though time and again he should have left him, left the abuse he faced every day, left to find his own way in the world? Jake had no good answer. He tried to tell himself it was because they were brothers, because in the whole world they only had each other, that shared experiences joined them irrevocably. Then he looked at it from the angle of an outsider.
Will treated him like dirt. No, perhaps worse. He would walk all over dirt, but leave it once he had passed. Will trod on him, on his ideas, on his morals, on everything he was over and over and over again, with little respite. He took everything he could and never gave anything back. Never returned any of the affection that Jake somehow had for him, even after all these years. It was maddening, the hope that Jake still harbored. Maddening, and so very, very unrealistic. But wasn’t that what he was about? Unrealistic nonsense? He heard someone staggering up the stairs and sighed. He ought to find a place to stay out of the way. He didn’t want it to be like last time when he was toppled over by his brother and his latest bedmate. Jake found a spot to curl up in and dragged all the blankets with him. His brother would be warm enough with another body next to his. He pulled the stolen covers tightly about him and went through the exercise of shutting down all his senses so he would be deaf and blind to whatever his brother decided to do.
He did not expect to be suddenly picked up and tossed onto the bed. He was disoriented briefly, and was surprised to see his brother leaning over him.
“What are you doing, sleeping on the floor?” Will demanded.
Jake gave him a slightly sour look. “You mean you haven’t noticed before? I learned after the first couple times you nearly had sex on top of me.”
If anything, that made Will frown even deeper. “You will not sleep on the floor anymore.”
“Then you will not have sex anymore?”
Will gave him another dark look.
Jake was in the state of sleep-deprivation that made one all too truthful, and he really didn’t care what he was saying. “Because that’s why I sleep on the floor, you know. So that when you have your indiscriminate romps during all hours of the night I won’t be trampled upon. Because after that first time of having a squirming, laughing, aroused girl land on top of me whispering your name, I felt it wasn’t too bad a deal, sacrificing comfort for dignity.”
Jake saw he was getting to his brother, and in a darker part of his mind, was pleased.
“You would forbid me pleasure in this cruel world? You have your book, and I have the women.”
“But they’re not doing it anymore, eh? You can’t find one that makes you hot anymore, huh?” There was a note of satisfaction in his voice that Jake could not hide.
“Jake...” Will’s voice was dark and forbidding, but Jake didn’t care.
Jake reached up and yanked Will down, forcing Will to have to catch himself over, lest he topple onto Jake.
“I hate it when you sleep with them.”
“What?”
“I hate it when you sleep with them. Your moans echo in my ears and I can’t get them out of my head, so I lay awake for much longer than your afterglow lasts, trying to get the mental images that formed in mind to leave me alone. And you smell afterwards. You smell like them.” Jake almost spit out the last word.
“Watch what you say, Jake,” Will nearly snarled. “You have your books. Those things are obviously better company than any flesh could be.”
“No. They’re not. But the flesh I want I can’t get.”
Will frowned, giving his brother a look that plainly said ‘You’re crazy, Beans.’
“Perhaps I am,” Jake whispered. He was fully awake by now, and all his hazy bravery had gone out the window. Will gave his brother one last inscrutable look and then rolled over him to flop down on the bed beside him.
“Covers. Now.”
Jake disentangled himself and gave half the blankets to his brother before rolling on his side away from his brother and resolutely closing his eyes. Maybe in the morning he would wake up and he’d still be on the floor and Jake would be snoring away with some girl in his arms that Jake would have happily killed.
When he felt arms curl around him to pull him close, he knew that he wasn’t on the floor. He also knew that he must be dreaming. But the breath that tickled his neck and the solidness at his back told him it wasn’t, and if it was, it was very, very vivid. The intimacy that his brother was showing, no matter how unconscious, made Jake ache, but he dared not move for fear of waking Will and having Will blame him for the position they were in.
But he was so close and it was so tempting.
Brothers! Brothers, damnit! We’re brothers.
His body apparently didn’t care. There was warmth at his back where usually there was only cold stone, there were strong arms around his chest where there was usually only blankets, and he felt warm and alive and loved. Even though he knew that in the morning it would be back to the same cycle of abuse and devotion. He dared, even though he knew he might wake his brother, and gently slipped his hand between Will’s, and was alarmed and comforted when they tightened around his fingers.
Loved. Wanted. This was the only feeling in the entire world that he desired. Nothing more. Finishing his book be damned. Let him be held this way for the rest of his life and he cared not what happened to anyone or anything else. Unconsciously, his thumb began to stroke the hand that was holding his and he felt the body behind him shift, and he froze.
“Is this what you meant?” he heard Will ask in a soft voice.
Jake couldn’t find his voice to answer, and his mind froze when Will’s lips brushed the back of his neck.
Dear God. Oh, God, don’t let this be a dream. Please don’t let this be a dream.
Jake hadn’t known he had whispered that aloud until he felt more than heard a chuckle from behind him.
“No dream,” was the soft reply as tongue was added to the kiss. Jake’s eyes fluttered close and he could feel his heart rate skyrocket. His had to stifle a moan as he felt Will’s hands begin to drift across his chest.
“You said you didn’t want me to have sex anymore. Did you mean this as well?”
It took Jake a long moment to find even the merest shred of his voice to whisper a “no” when Will’s hands slipped beneath his shirt to caress skin. Skin on skin. Will’s hands on his body. Will’s voice in his ear, murmuring soft words to him, and him alone. Will’s lips on his ear, gentle and vicious. He couldn’t suppress a moan when Will’s skillful hands played with his nipples and he arched against the touch, wanting more. Wanting more of Will. His Will. Will moved and Jake ached, only to feel Will tugging at his nightshirt. Jake supported himself on his arms and allowed the dreadful material to be discarded, leaving him in only his drawers, otherwise bare to his brother’s eyes. Eyes that seemed to care, to want. To want him. Of all people! Not some kitchen wench, not some pretty face, not some soft, pliant female body. Him! Jake Grimm!
And when he was kissed it was more and less then what he had dreamed. It wasn’t soft or tender, but why should he have expected that from Will? It was rough, demanding, and so very, very Will. And that’s what he wanted. Will. He felt Will’s hands roam his body, and knew he should do something anything in return, but he was paralyzed. Paralyzed by sensations that were too raw, too new. He could only writhe beneath the touches of a man more seasoned than he in pleasure, could feel himself growing hard, could feel an ache in his entire body as Will did terribly wonderful things to his senses. He was gasping for air when he felt his drawers fall away from his lower body, when he heard Will’s clothes follow.
There was nothing between them now. No words. No clothes. No world. It was skin on skin and Jake’s world shrunk to himself and Will’s body over his, Will’s body pressing down so he was breathless, feeling Will’s erection pressing against his, and wondering how he could even arouse his brother when he could do nothing.
“Watching you is better than any touch,” Will purred in Jake’s ear as his hand drifted lower. Jake strained against Will’s hand, wanting, craving more though there was nothing he could even consider asking Will to do. When he felt Will’s hand curl around his cock, all the breath left his body in a sound that Jake hadn’t known he could make. It made Will chuckle and it was only once his hand began to move in languid strokes that Jake could even attempt to breath again, and even then it came in shallow gasps that seemed to depend on the strength and speed with which Will used his hand. Jake could feel something growing inside him, could feel the pleasure override all other senses and concentrate into a single point that seemed almost unbearable. He must have moaned something as he felt the single point explode into many, sending his body into convulsions, for he felt Will’s body shudder against his. Will claimed his lips again in a savage embrace that made Jake reach for Will, pulling him closer, wanting to see how close to merging their two bodies he could get. When he felt Will’s tongue invade his mouth, he thought it was a start. As Will’s tongue searched out and claimed every inch, Jake still ached for more. When they both came up for air, he heard himself breathe, plaintively, “More.”
“More?” Will sounded interested. And whenever Will was interested, things that Jake hadn’t, or couldn’t, expect followed. Will’s body settled between Jake’s legs, and Jake felt one of Will’s hands move along the crease of his buttocks, causing him to become both worried and intrigued. Will’s hand was still slick with Jake’s seed, and when Jake felt his brother pry open his anus, he gasped and found himself arching into the touch, rather than away from it.
“More, hm?” Will purred, and Jake would have agreed to anything to keep his brother doing what he was. He could feel Will’s fingers inside him, caressing a surprisingly sensitive spot, and he couldn’t hold back a long, low moan. When he felt Will’s fingers leave he was briefly disappointed, but when something slightly larger found its way into him, all thought left him. He could only feel, not think, and it was a surprisingly welcome change. A long, slow thrust in, an equally drawn out movement out, and Will established a rhythm that had Jake squirming. This couldn’t be real. Will was never this tender, not with him.
“I always knew you were a tight-ass, Beans, but I never thought that would be a good thing,” Will said in a bedroom voice that made Jake shiver, even though the words spoken were a kind of twisted compliment. A sudden jolt of pleasure sped through Jake, making him gasp. He felt Will shift ever so slightly, and that feeling came again as Will pulled back. His hands were clenching and unclenching the sheets so tightly that Jake was sure he would tear them. Unless he was torn apart by the torturous bliss Will was putting him through first. It was over too soon and not soon enough, as the world went white as the cumulation of pleasure rocked through his body, sending him over some unseen edge. He could still feel Will inside him, moving, but it was a muted feeling that sent small wafts of pleasure his way that only added to the afterglow. He felt Will still against him, heard him groan his name, and that made him more content than anything else. He had given his brother something. Something that he had enjoyed. From the dull ache he was feeling inside, he had a passing thought that riding might not be comfortable in the morning, but it was worth it. He felt/heard Will settled next to him, and asked softly, “Was that real?”
“Yes.”
“You care?”
“Why do you think I haven’t been whoring lately?” Will managed to pull Jake close to him, fitting Jake’s head under his chin. “I saw the way you looked at me sometimes, with such yearning, and I began to wonder what you were thinking. Then I started seeing you there, rather than the women, and I thought I was going crazy. You’re my brother, and you’re a guy. But even as I tried to make up for those...inappropriate....thoughts by distracting myself with others, I saw how you disapproved, and I actually cared. So when you said that you couldn’t get the flesh you wanted...I figure I’d try.”
“So all I was was an experiment?” Jake asked, his voice sullen.
“No.” The vehemence in Will’s voice startled and soothed Jake.
“Now go to sleep, Beans. We have a long ride in the morning.”
Jake had a brief flash of doubt regarding if that was innuendo or not, but merely did as his brother said and closed his eyes, hoping to capture this moment forever, so when it really was just a dream, he could at least pretend that this was a possibility.