A Destiny of Pain

Title: A Destiny of Pain
Summary: Hephaestion finally realizes his true destiny
Author’s Website: www.darknessprevails.com
Comments: darkestangel@darknessprevails.com
LJ: darkestangelspn.livejournal.com
Warnings: language, angst, tender lovemaking (oh my!), sadness
Pairing: Hephaestion/Alexander…hints of Alexander/Bagoas
Rating: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own Alexander or Hephaestion or Oliver Stone’s script. I’m only borrowing these gentlemen for my own pleasure and will return them when I am finished with them.
Author’s Notes:
1. This is my first Alexander the Great story.
2. This takes place movie-verse after Alexander marries Roxane and after Alexander welcomes Bagoas into his bed.

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In the King of Asia’s great banquet hall, another drunken celebration was being held in honor of another insignificant victory over a backwards tribe of nomads, and Hephaestion stood on in boredom as his king drank wine with the Persians and made outrageous boast about his latest victory.

Half-naked servants rushed around refilling cups with wine making sure the Macedonians were kept comfortable and jubilant while Hephaestion made casual conversation with Ptolemy and Perdiccas trying to ignore the scathing glares of Cassander and Crateros who seemed to get off on making him uncomfortable with their scrutiny. The constant celebrations were beginning to wear down his mood of late, and it didn’t help that the ever-flowing alcohol turned Alexander into an overbearing ass who talked non-stop about the glory and honor of his conquests.

Hephaestion looked over at his king and stared in disgust as Alexander openly flirted with Bagoas in front of his new wife and his men. For months, he had stood by silently watching the relationship blossom between the two men; never complaining or protesting about his lover’s infidelity, but watching Alexander running his hand through the raven black hair while Bagoas refilled his glass with more wine was more than he could stomach on this particular night.

It had been weeks since he had been intimate with Alexander, and he was sexually frustrated and bitter towards the Eunuch. Alexander always found some excuse to brush off his affection by claiming that craving the flesh was a weakness he could not afford to have, or that true love didn’t need to be consummated with tantalizing flesh and physical passion. Hephaestion always respected Alexander’s wishes and never pushed the issue, but now the man that he loved; the man that he would kill and die for, was obviously having a hard time resisting the allure of Bagoas’ flesh; and yet, Alexander had no qualms about resisting the passion of his long-time lover.

Hephaestion could admit to himself that the boy was beautiful and feminine in nature, and he could understand why men craved his presence in their beds, but he resented the fact that Alexander made grand speeches about resisting the temptations of mere carnal pleasure only to partake in such pleasures with Bagoas.

“Yes my master,” Bagoas sultry voice replied as Alexander playfully slapped the Eunuch on the ass much to the delight of the generals who laughed at their king’s drunken behavior. Alexander’s hand roamed up Bagoas’ naked torso twisting and pinching a nipple into hardness causing the servant boy to squirm in discomfort.

Hephaestion’s jaw involuntarily clenched in anger and embarrassment as some of the general’s eyes fell upon him. They wanted him to respond to Alexander’s flirtations, wanted him to play the role of the scorned woman, but he wouldn’t give them such pleasure. Instead he shifted his gaze over towards Roxane who was staring in obvious dismay at the scene playing out in front of her eyes. He could tell that she was angry and disgusted at her drunken husband’s behavior, and unlike him, she made no attempt to hide her contempt towards the Eunuch. Her cold black eyes stared loathingly at the smooth flesh of Bagoas’ chest.

Alexander leered suggestively at Bagoas and licked his lips slowly. It was obvious that the king was drunk out of his mind, and Hephaestion saw no reason to continue watching the humiliating scene. Instead, he turned abruptly and began walking out of the banquet hall determined to maintain his dignity and honor despite the humiliation he felt.

“Come back here pretty Hephaestion,” Craterus roared in delight when he noticed the younger man leaving the party.

Craterus’ booming voice drew Alexander’s attention away from Bagoas, and he looked on in concern when he saw his lover leaving the party so soon. It was customary for his Chiliarch to leave with him; the two lovers whispering kind words of endearment to each other before Alexander was forced to go to Roxane’s bed, but tonight Hephaestion made to leave without his consent.

“Hephaestion,” Alexander warned gently pushing Bagoas away and getting up clumsily to his feet. He watched as his lover continued to walk away ignoring his call. Anger swelled up inside his chest, “Get back here!”

Hephaestion stopped, turned slowly towards his king, and stared at the drunken fool with a stoic façade. “I didn’t realize that I had to ask your permission to leave my king.”

Even in his inebriated condition, Alexander could tell his Hephaestion was cross with him, but he refused to back down in front of his men. “You know that we always leave together so come over here and sit down beside me until I am ready to leave.”

Hephaestion hated the condescending tone in Alexander’s voice, and he detested being toyed with in front of the generals; some of which who would love nothing more than to see him put in his place by the king, and he could tell that Alexander was trying to do that very thing.

“I’m not feeling well,” Hephaestion lied. “I want to go and rest.”

Alexander burped loudly from the excessive wine and sneered, “Don’t lie to me…you were feeling fine just a few moments ago.”

Hephaestion looked over at Bagoas who was standing feebly behind Alexander, cowering from the unwanted attention being directed his way. “I’m not going to do this Alexander.”

“Do what?” Alexander mocked walking over towards his lover on unstable footing. “What is it you’re not going to do my friend?” Alexander watched in amusement as Roxane got up from her seat abruptly and stormed out of the banquet hall with her servants in fast pursuit. “Apparently, she’s not going to do it either.”

The men laughed and encouraged Alexander on. They could practically smell blood in the air and this time Alexander’s prey was going to be Hephaestion; the man who could do no wrong in Alexander’s eyes.

Hephaestion stared heated lasers of electric blue in Alexander’s direction, “Go to Hades you drunk bastard.”

Some of the men whistled in appreciation of Hephaestion’s defiance while others watched on in trepidation wondering if the infamous Alexander temper would rear its ugly head.

Alexander swigged the last of his wine down and threw the cup across the room nearly taking off Ptolemy’s head in the process. “How dare you talk to me this way? I am your king! You’d do well remembering that General Hephaestion!”

Hephaestion looked behind Alexander’s shoulder and saw Cleitus staring at him intently. It was obvious the older man was amused by Alexander’s words and it took everything Hephaestion had not to snap back at his lover, but he was determined to keep his wits about him and not succumb to Alexander’s rant.

Alexander stared in fury at his lover wondering if the other man would back down and do as he had requested, or if he would challenge him in front of his men. He couldn’t help but to stare at the mesmerizing blue eyes that seemed to get even bluer in hue when his lover was angry, and he felt truly blest that the exquisite creature standing before him with his golden-bronze hair and beautiful face was truly his; no other man would ever tarnish the golden flesh before him, or capture the ruby sweet lips in their own.

Hephaestion graciously nodded at his lover in apparent submission, “Of course my king…I’m sorry if I have offended you.”

Alexander could hear the sarcasm practically dripping off his lover’s words, but chose to accept the apology, and smiled warmly at his Chiliarch. “I forgive you,” Alexander replied turning back towards Bagoas and his seat. “Let’s have some wine together and see if that will make you feel better.”

You forgive me! Hephaestion screamed in his own head. Alexander was becoming more like Philip with each passing day, and before long, he would be tossed off to the side like Olympias or some other playmate.

Alexander walked unsteadily towards his seat snapping his fingers at Bagoas “Bring us some more wine.” Alexander sat down on the soft cushions adjusting his exuberantly large bronze necklace on his bare chest. He looked over at Bagoas wondering why his servant was still standing in place not making a move to follow his order, but one look in Cleitus’ eyes told him everything he needed to know. He swiftly looked towards his lover just in time to see Hephaestion’s retreating red and golden clothed back leaving the banquet hall without permission.

He felt suddenly numb, fearing that he had pushed Hephaestion too far this time, but angry that his most trusted paramour would treat him with such little respect in front of the other generals. He looked frantically at his men who stared back; their eyes filled with contempt because he let Hephaestion defy him in such a way, and he couldn’t help but to be reminded of all the times his own mother had treated his father in the same manner.

“I can’t believe he’s going to let him get away with that,” a voice whispered on his left. He turned his head quickly to see who had spoken but his eyes only saw his men waiting for his reaction.

“If that had been me I would have been flogged or stoned,” another voice whispered on his right. He turned towards the voice but only saw Cleitus and Cassander staring at him intently.

He stood up quickly, tripping in the process, but Bagoas caught him in his caring arms. Embarrassed by his own inability to stand up, Alexander shoved the Eunuch away causing the raven-haired beauty to fall on his butt in front of everyone. The Macedonians laughed in amusement as the servant scampered up onto his feet going back to his place beside Alexander.

Alexander stood in place seething in rage as he looked down upon the embarrassed Eunuch who stood once again by his side, “This is your fault you whore…get out of my sight!” Alexander didn’t wait to see if Bagoas followed his command; instead, he stormed out of the banquet hall in search of his wayward lover.

“Alexander!” Ptolemy yelled in concern. He worried that his king’s anger along with the alcohol would cause Alexander to do something he would regret. He made to go after his friend; to talk some reason into that stubborn proud head of his king, but Cleitus grabbed him by the arm and jerked him backwards.

“Let him go Ptolemy,” Cleitus encouraged his level-headed friend.

“Let the pretty bitch get what he deserves,” Crateros smirked hoping that his king’s punishment for the Chiliarch would be swift and painful.

Ptolemy felt sick to his stomach worried that Alexander would hurt Hephaestion and ashamed that he called some of the men around him friends; the same men who envied, coveted, and openly detested Hephaestion.

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Alexander raced down the large palace hallway making his way towards Hephaestion’s quarters. He was really more angry with himself than he was his lover; his behavior had been uncalled for, but he had to let Hephaestion know that defying him in front of his generals was not acceptable.

Alexander didn’t bother knocking on the door and instead pushed the heavy wooden door open with a mighty thrust and slammed it shut once he was inside. He locked the door looking around for his friend, “I know you’re in here you insolent bastard!”

Hephaestion stepped out of the changing room where he had tossed his woolen red and golden coat and had changed into his lounging robe, “I’m the bastard?” He stepped further into the room unimpressed by Alexander’s temper pulling a silky sky blue robe tighter around his body, “I’m not the one bragging about how great I am while playing with the pretty Eunuch. You were making a fool out of yourself and out of all of Greece in front of those Persians, just like every other night since we left Babylon.”

“What about you? You’re the one moping around here like a jilted lover…”Alexander began.

“That’s because I am the jilted lover you ass,” Hephaestion interrupted. “You tell me that craving the flesh is a weakness, and I being the love-sick fool that I am listened to you for all these years; yet, you can’t seem to keep your hands off Bagoas.”

“And that makes you jealous does it,” Alexander crooned in confidence. He loved the flush of red filling his lover’s cheeks. “You’re upset because I want him and not you, right?”

Hephaestion could feel his lips trembling in pain; his heart breaking at the very words, “I knew it! You don’t want me anymore, do you?”

Alexander wanted to stay angry at his lover, but one look into the shimmering blue eyes melted his heart, “That’s not true love.”

Hephaestion stepped backwards when Alexander stepped towards him, “It is true…that’s why you haven’t touched me in weeks.”

Alexander lunged out and grabbed the other man by his arms and yanked him forward, “Do not step away from me again!”

Hephaestion yanked one arm free, “And why is that! Because you are the king, because you command me!”

“Yes, damn you!” Alexander roared grabbing the loose arm in a vise grip. “Stop acting like a child and listen to me!” With much effort, Alexander managed to turn the struggling man in his arms holding Hephaestion’s back to his chest and encasing the other man in a bear hug. “You make me feel so weak when I succumb to passion with you,” Alexander whispered in his lover’s ear.

Hephaestion stilled and listened intently as Alexander confessed his deepest feelings too afraid that if he talked it would end the rare moment of truth.

“When I touch you, taste you,” Alexander began as he kissed Hephaestion’s earlobe, “I lose all control over my senses. You make me feel so weak…” Alexander licked and sucked at the delectable earlobe rubbing his crotch up against Hephaestion’s backside. “I forget that I am king and become your simple servant who feels inferior to you and to your beauty.”

“You’re not inferior to me,” Hephaestion whispered feeling Alexander’s obvious hardness rubbing up against his wanton body.

“Shh,” Alexander ordered. “Let me finish.” Alexander loosened his arms from the tight hug and ran his hands up Hephaestion’s arms, loving how the silky robe felt on his hands. “When I’m with you, tasting your flesh and dwelling into your essence, I forget everything around me. I’m so consumed by your passion…” Alexander kissed the side of Hephaestion’s elegant neck and untied the robe with his long skillful fingers, “Mesmerized by your perfection; I feel so alive inside you, and I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life inside your embrace.”

“And that makes you feel weak? To lose control like that,” Hephaestion questioned as Alexander slid the robe off his smooth shoulders. He could feel the gentle breeze from the open window as his body was revealed to Alexander’s inspection. He had stopped feeling self-conscious about his nudity years earlier, but Alexander’s confession caused him to blush and to feel exposed.

“It makes me feel weak because I know that if I get too wrapped up in our lovemaking I risk losing everything I have dreamt about,” Alexander explained as he kissed and licked the unmarred shoulders of the beautiful creature in his arms. “I would gladly sacrifice everything I have gained over the years to keep you by me…you must know this; yet, you act like you don’t.”

Hephaestion turned towards Alexander looking at his lover’s flushed cheeks and dilated eyes, “You’re so drunk.” He ran his hands down Alexander’s hot cheeks, “You’re going to regret telling me this in the morning.”

Alexander took Hephaestion’s hands in his own and kissed them both, “I’m already sobering up and no I won’t regret telling you this. I should have told you much sooner.”

“Yes, you should have,” Hephaestion admitted, “but it still wouldn’t change the fact that you are messing around with not only a wife but with Bagoas as well.”

Alexander smiled knowingly, “You are jealous.”

“Isn’t that obvious,” Hephaestion asked not entirely pleased with the smug look on Alexander’s face. “How would you feel is I was sleeping with another man?”

Alexander grabbed Hephaestion roughly by his biceps, “I would kill any man that dares to tarnish your flesh.” Alexander warned. “You would be wise not to test me on this,” he finished as he kissed Hephaestion roughly clashing his teeth against the other man’s before shoving his tongue inside the hot cavernous mouth. He ran his hands possessively down Hephaestion’s back and squeezed and cupped the other man’s bare plump ass while his mouth devoured the other man alive, fighting for air but refusing to let go of the sultry mouth.

Hephaestion felt consumed by Alexander’s passion and he allowed himself to be conquered by the other man’s persuasive tongue. His body was on fire and eager to be pleasured by his lover for the first time in ages. This was what he had desired for weeks, to feel possessed by his lover; to make the other man care for something else besides conquering other lands; to make the other man forget about Roxane, Bagoas, and all the other pressures of having an empire and trying to please everyone but oneself.

Alexander began guiding the exquisite creature towards the large bed, determined to show his lover know how much he was loved and coveted. “I want you all the time…I just can’t let everyone else know how weak you make me.” He led the other man to the edge of the bed and had him lay back within the comforts of the Persian sheets. Hephaestion’s bronze hair fanned out on the green sheets making Alexander’s manhood throb in need, “You’re so beautiful…so perfect.”

Hephaestion smiled warmly, “So are you.”

“You always were a bad lair,” Alexander joked as he removed his clothing revealing a muscular compact body riddled with various scars. “I am not even noticeable when compared to you.”

“You’re laying it on a little thick, aren’t you?” Hephaestion joked as his spread his legs for his lover, beckoning the other man to take what he wanted. “You need not flatter me so when you already have me in your arms.”

Alexander ran his hands up Hephaestion’s legs amazed at his lover’s modesty, “I don’t flatter you nearly enough.” His hands tenderly caressed Hephaestion’s soft irresistible inner thighs, “You really have no idea how beautiful you are…do you?”

“All I know is that I hear it from men all the time who smell like dogs and look at me like they want to mount me like a bitch, and I don’t find that flattering in the least.”

Alexander’s hands stilled in alarm, “What men say these things to you?”

“Let’s not talk about them,” Hephaestion pleaded regretting his statement immediately. “I’m sorry I even brought it up.” He took one of Alexander’s hands and began kissing the calloused fingers trying to evade Alexander’s jealousy, “I want you...you’re all I ever think about, and it drives me insane seeing you with that Eunuch.”

Alexander watched in fascination as Hephaestion’s red lips opened up, and the other man’s pink slick tongue began licking his fingers slowly. He swallowed hard and let out a breath he didn’t know he had been holding, “By Zeus, I swear I’ll never flaunt him in your face again.”

“Promise,” Hephaestion asked smiling lovingly as he sucked two of Alexander’s thick fingers into his sweltering mouth.

“Yes,” Alexander hoarsely replied feeling his cock throbbing in need. “I need you so bad…want to be buried inside you.”

Hephaestion removed Alexander’s fingers from his mouth, “Then take me. Show me that you still desire me.”

Alexander could feel his hands trembling as he placed his wet fingers up against Hephaestion’s tight entry, “You keep talking to me like that and I will spill my seed on you rather than in you.”

Hephaestion couldn’t help the soft laughter that came out of his mouth, “You’d think the King of Asia would have better self-control.”

“I do,” Alexander began as he pushed the two wet digits inside the tight warmth of his lover’s body. “How else do you think I manage not to touch you for weeks at a time?”

Hephaestion hissed as the fingers invaded his clutching channel. The pinch and familiar burn was a welcomed addition as was the spasm of pleasure he felt when Alexander brushed his finger along his prostate. His back arched as his lover continued to rub his sweet spot causing him to writhe in need, “Don’t make me climax yet…I want you inside me, please.”

Alexander removed his fingers, smelled them, and moaned, “You smell so good…so delicious.” He spat on his hand and rubbed the saliva on his hard aching erection, “Do you want me to go and find some oil for lubrication?”

“No,” Hephaestion growled. “Don’t you dare leave this bed and leave me hanging.”

“I wouldn’t do that to you love,” Alexander whispered as he bent down and kissed the other man gently. “I would never do something so harsh and cruel.”

“Then why do you deny me all the time?”

Alexander sighed in frustration, “I’ve explained that to you already.” He lined his leaking shaft up with Hephaestion’s puckered hole and began pushing inside the welcoming heat. “Let’s not talk about this again…just let me enjoy the moment, okay?”

Hephaestion could feel the tears threatening but he willed them away for Alexander’s sake, “Okay.” He allowed his lover to impale him on his thick girth, and closed his eyes in ecstasy as his lover pumped in and out of his body, loving the feel of the slick cock moving in and out and bumping up against his sweet spot. His hands clenched tightly at Alexander’s back; his passion building with each thrust, “Oh Zeus…love me Ale.”

Alexander’s heart clenched in love when he heard his lover’s plea, “Always love…I’ll never stop loving you.” He kissed the sulky mouth and neck below him as he pushed the thighs in his hands closer to his lover’s chest, “You feel so good wrapped around me…so tight and hot.”

Hephaestion once again felt the tears welling up in his eyes; his heart having missed Alexander’s caresses and adoration. He buried his face in Alexander’s neck not wanting the other man to see him come undone like an emotional woman, “I love having you inside me like this…it feels so good.”

Sensing that his lover was close to release, Alexander picked up the pace of his thrusts and began pummeling the body beneath him wanting to release his seed inside the other man’s body. The hands clenching his arms and shoulders held on for dear life as did the feet that pushed on his lower back trying to get him to go deeper and quicker. He lifted up his head wanting to look at Hephaestion’s eyes, but his lover held on tightly keeping his face buried in his neck. “Look at me,” he groaned loudly feeling the familiar tingling in his scrotum radiating up his shaft. “I want to see your eyes when I spill inside you.”

Hephaestion wanted to hide the tears, ashamed of his weakness, but he couldn’t deny Alexander and instead pulled his face away from the confines of his lover’s neck and looked up into Alexander’s lust-filled eyes.

Alexander took one look at the wet blueness and the slick tear-covered cheeks, and he shamefully moaned his release inside Hephaestion’s body. “You’re so gorgeous love...so flawless…yeeeessss.” He felt his milky warm seed jettisoning inside his lover’s silky channel and kissed the wet face beneath him in holy-like reverence.

Hephaestion arched his back and neck as he felt his own orgasm shooting up his shaft and held onto Alexander’s arms tightly as his release spurted out onto his golden smooth belly and chest. He had no doubt that his heated whimpers could be heard all throughout the palace but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He held onto Alexander’s arms afraid that if he let the other man leave he wouldn’t feel his touch again for weeks to come. “Please stay with me.”

Alexander reluctantly pulled out of Hephaestion’s body, removed himself from Hephaestion’s embrace, and rested on his side looking at his teary-eyed lover, “You know I can’t do that…Roxane expects me to be in our bed tonight.” He gently wiped the wetness from his lover’s face, “I wish you wouldn’t cry.”

“Me too,” Hephaestion quickly replied lightly slapping the hand away from his face. “Trust me, I hate crying over you.” He turned onto his side facing away from Alexander, “Go on then…go back to your wife and your Eunuch.”

Alexander wrapped his arm around his sulking lover and kissed the sweet smelling locks of hair, “Don’t be like that.”

Hephaestion took Alexander’s arm and pried it loose, “I mean it Ale…leave.”

Alexander laid in shock for a few moments before he realized that Hephaestion was really kicking him out. “Why do you have to be like this,” he asked jumping out of the bed to retrieve his clothes.

“See you in a few weeks,” Hephaestion hotly replied wrapping the soft sheet tightly around his naked body.

Alexander looked longingly at his lover, wishing that he could make himself stop hurting the other man, but he knew that a king must sacrifice for his kingdom, for his people; and no amount of passion and love from his Hephaestion could ever take away that knowledge.

Hephaestion listened intently for the sounds of Alexander leaving. The door closing softly signaled the exit of his estranged lover. He wondered why he kept letting this happen, letting Alexander use him and then toss him to the side until he was needed, but he already knew the answer to that question...He was Alexander’s Patroklas and Alexander was his Achilles…lovers with a doomed destiny of nothing but pain and heartbreak, lovers destined to be together, even in death.

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Not really sure where this one came from. It just popped in my head and I started writing. I had originally planned on this being a Hephaestion/Cleitus pairing, but my muses took over and insisted on Alexander and Hephaestion. I then had planned on making it border-line non-con but it turned into actual tender lovemaking which is a very rare thing for me. Of course, I had to deny them a happy ending in the long run, didn’t I?
I hope you enjoyed this longer than I had anticipated story.
Darkestangel