combustable

COMBUSTABLE


The silence had been deafening. No one dared utter so much as a word to the Captain or would they have to Elizabeth had she actually left their cabin after she had stormed off in such a fury. The Captain had been practically snarling orders at anyone to cross his path and was now drowning his anger in massive amounts of rum.

Gibbs knew the situation was a bad one. Jack would never admit being wrong about something and Elizabeth, well she was just as head strong as he was daft. She also had a tendency to coil up and strike out when she felt threatened. Hence the justification for the “I hate you” she’d shouted at the top of her lungs before she’d turned and slapped him, right in front of his crew.

What had started as a mild disagreement about the logistics of their upcoming on shore stay in Tortuga quickly boiled over into major warfare. It was no secret that the Captain and Elizabeth had grown quite close over the past several months. In fact it was apparent to the crew that there was much more to their newfound accord than they liked to let on. They loved each other, that was certain, but both were either too stubborn to admit their emotions or too foolish to name them. Either way Gibbs had heard most of the argument as he attempted to steer the ship while situated between the two combatants.

“Ye will stay aboard the Pearl, luv and I shall return in the morning.”

“Jack I am more than capable of handling myself in Tortuga, I will come with you.” She’d barked it back without a moment’s hesitation. A sinister smirk appeared on his face as he looked at her, but all she could see was some local tavern wench draped across his lap with a hand in down his pants.

“In case you were wondering ‘Lizbeth I am the captain of this ship and as captain I make the orders, ye will stay aboard the pearl.”

“I most assuredly will not!” Gibbs was quite alert to the woman’s reasons for being so against the order, after all Jack Sparrow was a well publicized ladies man and a pirate. Why should she even begin to trust his faithfulness to her, especially in Tortuga where he is a favored client?

“Miss Swann” his lips had curled when he said her name, clearly indicating his aggravation with the situation entirely. “My orders will not be disregarded by the likes of you or anyone else on this ship. If you care not to follow my orders I will gladly leave you in port and be done with you.” He knew he would pay for the statement as soon as it left his lips, but he also knew that he needed some time away from her to sort out exactly where he stood with his involvement with her. He needed to come to terms with the fact that she meant more to him than anyone else ever had, a fact that inwardly scared him. He wanted to see how his resolve held up without her watching over him, that would confirm his love for her to hiIn the moment he also needed to make sure the gathered crew knew he was the Captain, and no one would counter his orders, not even the woman who had somehow discovered the soft spot within him.

Now Gibbs wasn’t an expert on women, but he was pretty certain that that statement was going to severely hurt the combatant of the female persuasion. His suspicions were confirmed by the enraged look that came across her face and then the hand that struck Jack quicker than any that had come before it.

If the hand hadn’t left an imprint on his face already, her words certainly left something of a mark on his heart as the resounding “I hate you” that left her lips did all to leave the Captain rather expressionless, pale, and awfully short on breathe. The whole crew felt that blow, as a collective gasp arose right after the crack of her hand, followed shortly thereafter by a mass exodus as crew members did all they could to get out of the woman’s way while hiding from their captain.

Following the incident the Captain’s behavior seemed highly off regular as he removed Gibbs from his watch and stonily took over the wheel, where he had stayed for many hours seemingly lost in his own thoughts and screaming at anyone who dare disturb him from them. Somewhere about the time of the suns departure he had found himself drinking his rum, he now sat before the mast with 2 empty bottles and another in his hand. His thoughts were unreadable to anyone who dared glance his way, his body unyielding to the insane amounts of rum he had been drinking, and yet somehow doing nothing to ease the pain that he felt in his chest.

No one had expected him to enter his quarters for the evening; In fact everyone was fairly certain he’d pass out at the mast before the night was through. When he rose and headed for the cabin, he shocked all who dared to notice, including the woman who had taken over said cabin, just as she had his every thought.

……

Elizabeth’s tears had barely ceased leaving her eyes when he‘d entered. She rolled over, wrapping herself around her pillow doing her best to mask her face, puffy and red from crying. Every time she closed her eyes she’d picture him in some rather explicit situation with one of Tortuga’s ladies or the night. He slowly staggered towards her, removing his effects as he walked. With none of the grace he usually possessed he crawled in the bed and slurred rather obnoxiously, “Ye didn’t think I wouldn’t be spending the night inside me own cabin did ye?” His arrogance was the only defense against the pain he felt.

“I don’t really care where you spend your night Captain.” She snarled at him, hurt clearly resounding in her voice despite her toughened exterior, he of course was too drunk to tell the difference, but the remark hurt him all the same. She moved to rise from the bed when his arm caught hers and pulled her back down.

“And where do ye think ye be going?” He was drunk but he wasn’t going to let her sleep anywhere else, no matter how much she had hurt him. His drunken mind once again pointed out his concern for her.

Without the energy or desire to fight with him anymore she barked back more defeated sounding than he had ever heard her “No where. I have no where to go.” She rolled over to get away from him and buried her face back into her pillow to muffle her tears. She felt beat and it was her own fault because she had actually thought he could care about her like she had come to care about him.

He rolled over too but instead of turning away from her, he stared at her back. Silently he watched her tremble. She had to be crying, either that or all the rum he had drank was doing more to him than usual. He had drank more than his normal amount but it didn’t seem to dull the pain any. In fact it only seemed to intensify the burning pain in his chest and the throbbing of his cheek. Now he was faced with the realization that not only was his rum gone but there was a good chance that his Lizzie was too. He began to feel exceedingly stupid as he lay next to her watching her tremble. He now realized he didn’t care about anyone else’s company. He didn’t need her around to ward off the advances of other women; he only cared about her advances. He suddenly didn’t need his ‘night away from her‘ because he‘d had it. He hated it. He realized he never wanted to be away from her again. Reaching out, he placed a hand on her shoulder trying to mend what he had broken, but knowing it wasn’t going to be that easy.

She shrugged it off. “Don’t think you can treat me the way you do and expect me to seek solace in your arms captain. I am not some Tortugan whore who will give you whatever it is you seek.”

He placed his hand back, but again it was shoved off. He didn’t truly understand his love for her until she told him that she hated him. Until he heard her heart break and felt his own follow suit. He heard the words reverberate against the vibrations in his head, and that only served to make it worse. Couldn’t he have just accepted it without causing this war?

He chose not to respond but instead posed a simple question, “Ye don’t really hate me do ye?” His voice was soft, somewhat uncertain, and less obnoxious than it had previously been. It almost sounded as if he was as defeated as she felt.

She immediately noticed the hesitation in his voice, but she wasn’t sure about it either, didn’t trust it. She was far from ready or willing to talk to him, especially given his drunken state, “Go to sleep Jack.”

“I can’t” he stated rather matter of fact.

“Well I can and plan on it, so shut it.” She couldn’t talk to him now she was too angry with him, too hurt. Of course she couldn’t sleep either but talking to him would just make it worse. Every time she attempted slumber she’d woken up in a panic from the dream she was having where some random whore kept sucking greedily on his cock while he laughed about the stupid lass who kept him company on his ship. When she was awake she could barely breathe without a pain creeping into her chest. She had been foolish in ever allowing herself to feel anything for him. She kept questioning herself. Why had she let herself fall for him and why did she have to fall so hard?

He placed his hand back on her shoulder and spoke “I don’t hate ye ‘Lizbeth, but I hate me. I don’t blame ye if ye do hate me but I really hope ye don’t hate me, cause I hate me and me hating me is enough people hating me.” When he received no answer he gave up hoping to have better luck in the morning, “Good night luv.” As much as it pained him, he removed his hand from her shoulder and rolled over feigning sleep and wracking his brain about the damage he had done. He shivered at the emptiness he felt, she was so close, yet she was further away than she‘d ever been. The eerie void it left him feeling was anything from what he’d expected. He thought to himself, he’d wanted a night without her to see what it was like. If she really hated him he’d spend many more the same way all because he was too childish to admit to himself that she meant the world to him. No one could take her place; he needed to mend what he’d done.

The morning came and Jack found himself staring at her as she slept. He’d heard her breathing shift sometime ago and knew she’d finally fallen into a peaceful sleep. This was his signal to roll over and look at her. He wouldn’t sleep, just watched her sleep. He hoped she wouldn’t wake up trembling and sobbing again, he’d heard her do that a few times this evening and it only furthered his pain, knowing it was his fault and that he couldn’t wrap his arms around her to comfort her.

As the sun entered the cabin Elizabeth’s eyes came to open from the glare. Once focused she realized Jack was laying there a good foot away just staring at her intently looking quite terrified to move, since she had caught him. It was clear to her that he hadn’t slept all night, and she could smell the rum seeping off of him. She chose to remain silent, meeting his gaze without so much flinching.

“I want ye to stay with me in Tortuga.” He spoke quietly, and it was as if he was waiting all night for her to look at him so he could tell her that.

She inhaled deeply as if fighting back tears and spoke, “I’ll be finding a place to stay on my own Captain, it is going to be my new home.”

“The Pearl is yer home, Lizbeth.” He spoke it as certainly as he would call it his home.

“It used to be. Before it’s Captain decided to leave me behind to seek other alternatives.”

That hurt him, and that wasn’t his intention at all; realization finally dawned on him. He felt something deep inside him break as he saw the sincerity with which she spoke. She truly believed what she was saying. His mind raced, it wasn’t to seek other alternatives. “The Pearl will always be yer home Lizbeth. Ye can’t leave it.” He tried to wrap his mind around the fact that she had thought he wanted to leave her behind to seek out pleasurable company but his head was pounding, he was exhausted, and all he wanted to do was wrap his arms around her and tell her how wrong she was.

“Its just a boat. It offers me nothing but a place to sleep. Tortuga can offer the same and perhaps something more. It’s time for me to move on Captain. I will be disembarking.” She felt the tears prick the back of her eyes but she refused to shed another tear for him, especially with him watching. It was her own stupidity that put her in this situation; she never should have assumed he would change. He was a pirate above all else; he could never be faithful to her or anyone else for that matter.

“Lizbeth ye can’t do that.”

“I can and I will Captain.” Somehow her external resolve was holding, but her insides were crumbling. She wanted so badly to believe him, but she wouldn’t allow herself to get hurt again.

“Will ye bloody stop calling me Captain? Ye haven’t called me captain…” he paused trying to recall the last time and control his yelling “…ever.” he took a deep breathe attempting to calm himself. He took a few breaths before continuing, “Ye really do hate me.” He’d muttered the statement to himself and his eyes looked away as he tried to come to grips with the realization that he’d managed to destroy everything they had built together.

“What’s it matter? I’m just another strumpet to you who ye’ll forget about before ye even sail out of the harbor. Just another trinket for you to add to your collection.”

“Do ye really think that?” His eyes met hers as he tried his hardest to calm his anger. He was getting angry that she thought that little of him after all wasn’t she the one who thought he was a good man? The angrier he got the more his head throbbed. He silently cursed himself again for all the rum he had drank last night, of course now it would be affecting him and it had done little to help him.

She need not answer him as her face spoke the answer he didn’t need hear and her eyes immediately welled up, finally giving into the sadness that was burdening her heart, strangling her from within.

“Lizbeth, I could never forget ‘bout ye.” His words seemed sincere and she wanted so badly to believe them, but she just couldn’t. She wouldn’t fall victim to his lies again. She brought out her rage to protect herself.

“You seemed all too willing to forget about me and leave me on the Pearl so you could have your run at port. I’m certain you can easily forget about me now as well, even pick up someone else to warm your bed between ports, CAPTAIN.” She stressed his title again with the intention of angering him. If he was going to make her cry, she was going to get him angry.

“That’s what ye think.” She was succeeding, he was getting angry now. She wasn’t even offering him a chance to defend his actions. He hadn’t wanted her to stay aboard because he wanted to enjoy the pleasurable company port had to offer. He wanted her to stay aboard so he could see if he could resist temptation without her watching over him, to remind himself what his life was like without her, to confirm what their fight had, that he did love her. He was pretty certain he loved her before, but being that he’d never felt the emotion before he wanted a little clarification. Couldn’t she understand that? His mother had taught him that when you loved someone you didn’t want to be without them, he needed to test that theory before he committed to the idea, just like he always tested every theory he had. He was clear now, that was for certain, and he was in danger of having that clarity for all eternity if he didn’t do something quick to change her mind, but she wasn’t even giving him a bloody opportunity to tell her how he felt.

“I wouldn’t have said it if it wasn’t what I thought Cap…”

He didn’t know if it was the irritating way she kept calling him Captain or the fact that he had finally admitted to himself that he never wanted to spend another day without her. He had actually managed to keep his anger at bay thus far - to an extent - but he loved her and she was making this much harder on him than she needed to. This whole thing was a misunderstanding, and while it was his fault, she could make it a little easier by hearing him out.

“Bloody Hell Liz!!” he yelled it. “Do ye always have to be so bloody stubborn?” He took her by surprise and threw himself at her. He moved atop her and wrapped his lips around hers, as if trying to prove something. At first she put up a fight doing all she could to push him away, but within minutes, her body had betrayed her and she was kissing him back just as aggressively. Dragging her nails along his back she felt the tension there before she lifted his shirt off of him. He smiled against her mouth when he realized what she was doing. He had convinced her, now he would drive his point home and make sure she never questioned him again.

In a rage they removed each other’s clothing; a look in each of there eyes that bordered lust and fury. There were no careless caress, no gentle touches. They were angry at each other and they let it show. When Jack entered her, he drove in as hard as he could. She met his thrusts just as angrily. It was as if they were trying to use their bodies to hurt one another rather than pleasure each other. They created a frantic pace, fueled by a need for each other they didn’t want to admit to, but needed to express. Their relationship had become far too dangerous now. With a few more violent thrusts they both came screaming.

They lay face to face catching their breath, eyes locked on the other for a brief while before either of them spoke. Jack went first, “I wanted to leave ye on the Pearl cause I’ve been having these feelings for ye lately and I wasn’t sure what they were but now I do.” He paused and realized he was ready to tell her, “I bloody love you. Never in me life have a thought I was able to do such a thing, but I swear it Liz I don’t want to spend another day on this earth without ye in me arms.” She just stare at him almost expressionless so he went on, “if ye still want to go live in Tortuga I won’t stop ye…”

She interrupted by using what little energy she had left to jump on him; her eyes welled up as she found her voice, “Do you mean it?” She asked him looking into his eyes almost accusingly, hands pressed firmly on his shoulders, and ready to strangle him should he be lying again. Finding the whole position to be rather erotic, he offered her an answer in the form of another kiss. A kiss that enveloped her in everything he had just said but with the tenderness their anger-laden rendezvous had lacked. He put everything he had into the kiss, fearing it may be the last time he’d taste her lips on his own.

He finally answered breathlessly as he pulled away, “Aye I do.”

“Jack.” His name came out more like a prayer, as she embraced him and kissed him again as passionately as she could, wanting to return the sentiment. “I thought you wanted to be rid of me so you could…“ She stopped herself realizing he knew what she thought and kissed his neck, “I love you too.” She was sobbing now and he could only assume they were happy tears because they had only misunderstood each other. “I don’t hate you. I could never. You mean too much to me. Sometimes it scares me so.”

He pulled her tighter to him, “Ye have no idea how relieved I am to hear ye say that Lizbeth.” He kissed her again, “now do ye think we can get some sleep? I’ve got me a rather sizeable head trauma.”

She laughed at the face he made. “I’ve never known you to get a headache from too much rum.”

“Never drank meself that much without passing out luv. Seems the passing out part prevents this rather uncomfortable part that I’m currently experiencing. I think I drunk meself sober, if it were at all possible, cause I don’t recall ever feeling drunk. Me mind was very chatty last night.”

She chuckled at him and pulled herself closer yet again, needing to feel him pressed against her. “I want to sleep right here” she nuzzled her head into his neck, deeply inhaling his scent.

He wrapped his arms tightly around her in agreement, “’m thinking that’s a good idea luv.”

“I’d be perfectly content to stay in your arms forever, Jack.”

“That me dear is an entirely probable occurrence, for I don’t think there’s enough rum in the world to replace ye.” He smirked at her and kissed her forehead before finally closing his eyes and getting some sleep.