The Good Life

AN: This fic came about from listening way too much to Frank Sinatra's "The Good Life" on my iPod and watching too much CSI. The classiness of the song makes me think of Sergeant Vau, actually, given his highborn upbringing, however, the wistfulness of the song itself is straight up Skirata pining for his ex wife.

Though little is actually known about Ilippi, it's clear that she must've been some kinda woman to capture Skirata's heart, even years after their divorce. This is my way of giving the dear Sergeant the one thing he could never have in SW canon, his dear aruetii wife.

There is some slight AU, if only in the fact that Ilippi is very much alive by the end of True Colors, opposed to being dead four years into Skirata's stay on Kamino as in actual canon. Aside from that small detail, the rest of the storyline follows according to Traviss' wonderful Republic Commando series.

Reccommendation: I'd suggest finding a copy of "The Good Life" to listen to while reading this. This song really inspired me to write this fic(even though I actually grew sick of listening to it after two days :P) and it really suits Kal and Ilippi.

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Kuat City, Kuat, 21 BBY

Life is a funny thing. Twenty years ago, if you had told me that I would be training clone children in an isolated compound on an equally isolated planet where the rain never stopped and the sun never shown, I would have laughed in your face. If you had told me ten years ago that the Republic would be at war with itself and that I would be in the middle of it, running missions ranging from black ops to sabotage, I would have said you were crazy.

If you had told me a year ago that I would come face to face with my ex-wife while on a job looking for information on a Separatist scientist who could possibly save the lives of my lads, I would have likely given you a smack in the face and been on my way.

Yet here I was, standing in the rain in Kuat City, in the middle of the entertainment district, face to face with her. Ilippi. An aruetii woman that had been everything to me over thirty years ago and had taken everything with her when she left, including our three kids. I hadn't seen them since. Thirty years is a long time- too long- to live without seeing your children, no matter how much you fought with your ex.

She had aged, we both had, but she still looked as lovely as the last time I saw her all those years ago, packing up my kit for a battle on a distant planet I would return to an empty household from. Her wine-red hair had dulled and faded partly to a light gray, but those aqua eyes still had a youthful glint to them. It was those eyes that had done it all those years ago. I could never forget those eyes and how they shown whenever Ilippi was happy or how they sparked when she was angry.

"Hello, Kal." The voice was still the same, still that soft, gentle voice that I still heard in my dreams, lonely dreams of things that would never be. Of all the things I expected to be hearing while interrogating Sep scum on this planet, that voice was the last. For a few moments after turning to see her, all I could do was stare in shock, my breath caught in my throat as I tried to think of something I could say that wouldn't lead to another arguement.

The galaxy was a big place and the chances of running into her by chance like this was impossibly small, yet I didn't think for even a moment that she would be looking for me. I knew I was hard to find these days, even for Republic officers needing my "expertise" with the war, let alone my ex-wife. I couldn't imagine what she would be doing here in a place like Kuat City when I knew that she was comfortably settled for the rest of her life, thanks to the credits I had sent her way when I had taken on the contract to train my boys.

"What are you doing here? I thought you would be out on the Rim fighting alongside your troops." She never did understand the concept of mercenary fighting. It had been one of many reasons why we had split and yet I still loved her in spite of it, even now. Even as I stood there, in the middle of looking for information on Uthan, I still loved her.

No matter how much I loved her, I couldn't endanger my men by telling her exactly what I was doing in Kuat City. Even if she could have understood the desperation of my mission to see that Uthan reversed the aging for the clones, I knew she was unable to do anything to help me. This mission was personal and so secret that not even Zey knew about it, not even to tell me which Republic prison held Uthan.

Ilippi was, sadly, just another liability that I couldn't afford to let get in the way of seeing to it that my lads got a normal life when the war was over.

"I could say the same for you. Just finished a contract for a local gambler who needed some extra muscle protecting him." It was a lie, of course, one of many I had been forced to tell her over the years to protect her or my mission. I knew she wouldn't know the difference. I had run many jobs and missions when we were married, most of which involved fighting for another faction or serving as intimidation or added muscle for all too many crime lords.

I never expected her to smile so knowingly when I said this. It was as if she had expected me to say just that, as if nothing had changed from thirty years ago. My work had always brought tears to her eyes, tears that usually preceeded some heated arguement or another about how she couldn't bear to see me go off to fight in someone else's war.

"You haven't changed." Another smile. "Good to see that you're keeping busy." There was no animosity or accusation in her voice. She sounded like she was genuinely happy to see me, regardless of what work I was doing at the moment. There were no tears in the pools of aqua, which hid nothing of her intentions. She was being honest, although she always had been where I was concerned.

She seemed completely at ease, having no trouble in finding the right words to say. I could only stand there in uncomfortable silence, not used to having any sort of amicable conversation with her. The last few conversations we had with each other that hadn't been through what passed for Mandalorian divorce court had been loud arguements about how we were going to raise the children and whether or not she was going to accept the Mandalorian way of life.

It had been some time before that where we had managed any sort of conversation that didn't end in an arguement and my sleeping in whatever inn I could find that night.

"Neither have you. You look well." It was all I could think of to say. I hadn't seen her since the divorce and didn't know what she had done in the years since. I didn't know where she lived or where the kids were or even if she had remarried. We had gone our separate ways and there hadn't been any reason for me to make what she did with her life my business, not even when I had paid her almost every credit I had to make sure she was comfortable and taken care of after the divorce.

"Well enough. I was in town to see the Bakuran National Symphony on tour, but I never expected to see you here." It was an honest statement, although I didn't need to look into her aqua eyes to see that. She was dressed in a silvery gown made of cerlin and despite the waterproof cloak she wore over it, I could see that she had her hair up in an elegant style. Reddish-gray curls framed her face, almost hiding the shoroni sapphire earrings she wore.

We must have looked like quite the pair to others passing by on the street as they tried to find shelter from the rain. An elegant, well-dressed woman on her way to the local opera hall, talking to an old Mandalorian in battered sand-colored armor as if the rest of the world didn't exist. In a strange sort of way, it didn't.

"How are the kids?" I had to find some way to take my mind off how beautiful she looked after all this time. I might have run into her unexpectedly, but I still had a job to do. Ilippi was my past, a past of thirty years ago. My lads were both my present and my future and they needed me far more than she did at this moment.

Strangely enough, she didn't look at all stung that I mentioned the kids. She simply gave me another one of her faint smiles as she stood there, her aqua eyes shining with no small amount of maternal pride. Even before she said it, I knew that the kids were all doing well.

"Tor and Ijaat are both working as consultants for a financial company. They have families of their own to take care of." I couldn't help the lump that rose in my throat at the mention of how the boys were, even though I had asked. I was happy, of course, to know that they were doing well, but it was obvious they hadn't given me a second thought. I doubted that the grandchildren even knew of me, the grandfather their fathers had disowned a decade ago.

You made your choice, though, didn't you? You knew what you were risking when you left for Kamino, so you shouldn't be so surprised that your family is doing so well without you...

"And Ruusaan?" I couldn't forget my little girl, the oldest of our three kids. The last time I saw her, she was almost a teenager. I doubted she would recognize me now after all this time, old and worn out with time and regret. Even if she wouldn't recognize me, there was no doubt in my mind that I would be able to pick her out in a crowd the moment I saw her.

Ilippi gave me a small, almost sad smile when I asked about our daughter. It seemed that I was not the only one who held a certain level of regret for the pain our divorce had caused our eldest. While her brothers had been young enough to forget about the fights and their frequently-absent father, Ruusaan had been old enough to know what was going on. She had always been a smart girl, keen enough to see that her parents' marriage was in trouble, probably long before Ilippi and myself had seen it ourselves.

"Married, five children. She runs a shipyard, building and selling freighters to various businesses and individuals across the galaxy." The lump in my throat seemed to almost choke me. In a bittersweet, almost painful way, I was proud of both Ruusaan and her brothers, despite how long it had been since I last saw them. They had all grown up and found a sort of happiness Ilippi and I couldn't. It was a life I knew they never would have had if their mother and I had stayed together.

It was for the best this way. The life of a Mandalorian was a hard, rough life, one that only a certain kind of person could live. Though I had hoped our children would grow up to become fine Mandalorian warriors, they had instead rejected their heritage and chose to live away from their people. Though it pained me to know they were dar'manda, I knew they weren't cut out for the life of a soldier and I couldn't change that fact, no matter how much I wanted to.

I had another family now, a family that involved six terrified little boys that had grown into strong young men who had never stopped thinking of me as their father. Men who were aging twice as fast as I did that I would outlive if I didn't find some way to put a stop to it. That was provided the war didn't kill them before I had a chance.

There was something almost ironic about all this. I had failed to be a good father and husband to my biological family, but had somehow managed to be one for my clone sons. I had taken care of Ruusaan and her brothers, always had, but not in the way I had taken care of the Nulls. Of course, they hadn't needed me the way the Nulls did, either.

"I want to see you again." My head snapped back up as her voice broke through my thoughts. I stared at her for a moment, not entirely certain that I had heard what she said correctly. It was one thing for me to run into Ilippi by chance and have the first civil conversation with her in thirty years, but quite another for her to voice her desire to see me again. I would have been content to simply walk away from this encounter knowing that time had mended old wounds.

I held no illusions about our relationship, not even after this chance meeting. What we had was long gone and left in the past. I still cared for her, loved her, even, but had never considered for even a moment that we could have anything more. Even if we both had wanted to, we couldn't, not when we had our own families to take care of now.

"What?" The thought that she wanted to meet with me again was astounding. I couldn't imagine what she would want after all these years. Our children were grown and she no longer needed credits from me when I had already seen to it that she would be able to live out her life comfortably. There was honestly nothing more she could possibly want or need from me besides just a simple hello and to tell me how the kids were.

"Tonight, at the Tekshar Falls Hotel. Midnight." I couldn't pull away as she pressed a card-key into my hand, a key that was presumably for her private suite. I knew I didn't have time for even this brief conversation, let alone anything more detailed and intimate over drinks late at night. Time was running out for my lads and I had yet to find where Uthan was being held by the Republic.

"Ilippi..." I knew my protests were weak and only halfhearted. Despite the duty I knew I needed to do, a part of me didn't want to say goodbye to her just yet. She ignored the protest I was trying to make and simply pressed the key card firmly into my palm and closed my gloved fingers around it.

She adjusted the hood of her cloak over her head to better protect herself from the rain, as if she were preparing to continue on her way. I could only stand there dumbfounded, holding the thin plastic card in my hand as I stared in shock at the woman who had once been my wife. I was too shocked to even flinch as she reached out and caressed the side of my face with a soft, slim hand.

"Don't be late." Without another word, she turned and continued on her way down the street. I stood there watching as she headed for the opera district, still smelling the scent of her jade rose perfume. Within a few moments, she had disappeared into the rain, leaving me there with an aching ankle and a card-key to a very expensive hotel in my hand.

---

Tekshar Falls Hotel, Kuat City, Kuat, 21 BBY

A few minutes before midnight, I stood in front of an ornate door made of wroshyr wood with Ilippi's card-key in hand. I stared at the carved patterns in the wood, debating on whether or not I should enter the suite or not. That I was even standing there in the hallway said a fair bit about the unresolved feelings I still had for my ex-wife.

I gave a soft sigh and closed my eyes, knowing that I would never get another chance like this if I walked away now. I knew that if I walked away, I would simply go back to looking for Uthan and my life would continue as it always had. If I walked away, I would never know what would have happened if I had walked through that door to meet with Ilippi after thirty years of divorce.

There was only one choice I could make. If I wanted to get closure on the marriage we once had, the only thing I could do was walk through that door. I opened my eyes and looked at the plastic card I held in my hand for a moment before slipping it into the slot above the door handle. The lock opened with a soft click and I withdrew the card again before slipping it into a belt pouch.

I opened the door and stepped inside, not at all certain what I was going to find. For all I knew, Ilippi wanted nothing more than to continue our conversation from earlier, or even to make amends, even though there wasn't any need after so long. I certainly didn't expect to find what I did once I had closed the heavy door behind myself.

"Ilippi?" I didn't immediately see her, but I knew she was there. The lights were all on and the orchestra's performance had ended well over an hour ago. She wouldn't have asked me to meet with her if she didn't plan on being there when I arrived. I took a few more steps into the opulent suite and carefully set my helmet down on a nearby table as I looked around for her.

She emerged from an adjacent room just a few seconds later, carrying a pair of crystal glasses and a bottle of very expensive tarul wine in hand. She almost looked surprised to see me, as if she had expected me to not show up after all. I couldn't entirely blame her as I had almost turned and walked away just a few moments before.

Seeing her there in a sheer nightgown that I knew to be made of emerald green shimmersilk, I was glad I hadn't. I swallowed hard, unable to keep myself from drinking in the lovely sight before me, realizing that I had forgotten how beautiful she was. The years had indeed been kind to her, her figure just as perfect as it had been the last time I saw her so many years ago.

I only managed to tear my gaze away from her when she pressed one of the glasses full of wine into my hand. She smiled up at me, looking almost wistful as she picked up her own glass from the table. For a moment, I began to wonder if she was having the same thought I was about the two of us and what we were doing here together.

"I'm glad you came. I was afraid you wouldn't." She had no idea how close I had come to walking away and never looking back. If not for needing to see her one last time, I knew I would have. The last thirty years had made me a rather lonely man and Ilippi had been the only woman in my life who had ever managed to make me forget the harsh realities of the life I led.

"I almost didn't." I took a slow sip from the wine glass she had given me, finding it sweet with a faint woody taste. For a few moments, the war and the need to find Uthan were all light-years away as I found myself lost in memories of a time that had long since passed. We had been happy together once, when we were young and foolish, before time caught up with us and we had to face how different we really were.

There was only one reason for us to be in her suite together now after all these years and we both knew it. I set my glass aside on the table before reaching out and gently taking its mate from her slender hand. She didn't resist or pull away, gazing up at me with a soft, loving smile on her lips as I set her wine glass beside my own.

I swallowed hard as I took one of her hands in my own, letting my fingers lace with hers. There was no turning back now. We both knew what we wanted and I found that I was quite all right with that. If only for a few hours, we could forget the painful past and remember what it had been like to be so passionately in love.

Wanting so much to touch her, I reached out and gently caressed her cheek, feeling soft, creamy skin beneath my fingertips. She reached up and caught my wrist in her free hand, letting her hand rest upon it as I leaned down to capture her lips with my own. She responded without hesitation, immediately parting her lips to accept me as I pressed closer to her.

My hand slid down from her smooth cheek and down over her neck to her shoulder, coming to a stop upon the thin strap of her silky nightgown. She seemed to kiss me harder, her hands resting upon the latches of my armor as my fingers gently slid the strap off her shoulder and partway down her arm. As if she had never forgotten how, Ilippi swiftly unlatched the fasteners and pulled the heavy body armor away.

It dropped to the richly carpeted floor with a dull thud, leaving me in little more than boots, gauntlets, and a dark gray flight suit. Before I could reach for the other strap that was all that held her nightgown in place, her hands caught mine, her agile fingers unlatching the gauntlets. One by one, the heavy armored gauntlets with their cache of weapons slid away and fell to the floor with the rest of my armor.

Almost reluctantly, I pulled away from the heated kiss, letting my lips trail along her delicate jaw and down to her neck. She still smelled of jade roses, the scent intoxicating my senses as I pushed the other thin strap of her nightgown off her smooth shoulder. I could feel her warm breath upon my neck as her fingers found the tab of the zipper to my flight suit and slid it down to my waist.

My lips found hers again, kissing her hungrily as if I would starve without her touch. I slid my hands down over her soft breasts and sides, slowly taking the silken nightgown with. Her soft, slender hands slipped within the flight suit and slid along the expanse of my chest, attempting to get the garment off.

The shimmersilk nightgown fell to the floor, leaving her half-naked as I released her. Shrugging out of the top half of the flight suit, I pulled her against myself and kissed her harder. She didn't protest, her arms winding around my shoulders as her warm tongue probed against my lips, seeking entrance.

I welcomed the warm, velvety feel of her tongue, tasting the wine on her lips as it twisted and curled around my own. Her hands slid up my back, her nails sending a warm shudder through me as they scraped along my spine. I could feel her firm breasts pressing against my chest as I reached up, tangling my fingers in the elaborate hairstyle she wore.

Marvelling at the silky softness of the red-gray tresses, I carefully unfastened the silvery clip that held them in place. The soft strands fell over her shoulders and down her back as I set the clip aside on the table with the wine glasses. Her hands tugged impatiently at the flight suit where it hung about my waist, trying to get it past my hips and down my legs.

Breaking the kiss, I reached down and gently pulled her hands away, smiling reassuringly before leaning down to remove my boots. Ilippi waited patiently as I removed the heavy, armored combat boots, setting them aside with the rest of my armor. Free of the sturdy boots, I was able to finish what she started and removed the flight suit, leaving me kneeling there before her completely naked.

Looking up at her, I slid my hands up along her slender, shapely legs, moving them higher and higher until they came to a rest upon her hips. She wore only a pair of thin satin panties in an aqua shade that almost matched her eyes. Hooking my fingers in the waistband, I slowly slid them down her legs to her ankles, following them with light kisses along her thighs.

Her slender fingers ran through my close-cropped hair as I lifted first one foot, then the other, sliding the panties completely off. I could smell her warm, musky scent as I slowly stood, running my hands back up along her legs to her hips again. Soft fingers curled against the back of my neck and shoulderblades as I pulled her close, pressing my hips against her own.

Leaning down again, I kissed her needfully as I took ahold of her hips and lifted her up into my arms. Her legs wound around my waist, gripping firmly as I turned and carried her towards the dimly lit bedroom. I was already hard by the time I laid her upon the extravagantly large and ornate bed, but Ilippi didn't seem to mind.

As I settled over her, Ilippi pulled me further up onto the bed with her, breathing heavily as she kissed me fervently. My hands seemed to move of their own free will, sliding up over her smooth, flat stomach towards her breasts. They were still as firm and shapely as they had been the last time I'd held them in my hands, untouched by time and gravity.

She gasped softly and arched beneath me as I gently squeezed the twin mounds of flesh. The rosy nipples hardened in response and I released her mouth, breathing in her warm scent as I moved lower to capture one with my lips. Supporting her with one hand, the other slid down over her mound to slip two fingers within her silken wetness.

Another small cry escaped her lips and I could feel her tightening around my fingers as I began to slowly stroke the velvety walls within. Elegantly laquered nails raked across my scalp, sending shivers along my skin as I nuzzled at her soft cleavage. My thumb gently teased her sensitive clit and was rewarded for my efforts with a soft whimper that sounded like it could have been my name.

As I occupied myself with pleasuring her quite thoroughly, her soft hands made their way down over my shoulderblades and lightly down my sides. I managed to lift my head from her cleavage long enough to gasp at her gentle, loving touch, feeling a warm surge of pleasure with the tender caress. It wasn't until those same soft hands had curled themselves around the length of my erection that I realized where they had really been headed.

Her gentle stroking was almost more than I could bear. I could feel myself throbbing and quivering needfully as her soft fingers ran boldly back and forth along the shaft, leaving nothing untouched. My own fingers stroked faster along her velvety insides, delving deeper into her slick passage, encouraged by her eager caresses.

After only a few more minutes of this exquisite torture, I withdrew my fingers from her heavenly center and reached down to gently remove her delightfully agile hands from my prick. Unable to wait any longer, I nudged her thighs apart with my knees and gently pulled her hips forward as I prepared to enter her. One slender leg wrapped around my own while the other found its way around my waist, pulling me in as I used my thumbs to spread her open.

Pressing forward, I slowly sheathed myself within her silken depths, moaning softly as she enveloped me clear up to the hilt. As soon as I had completed that first thrust, Ilippi was pulling me down into another desperate kiss. Her fingers dug into my back as I lifted her hips and began to slowly slide in and out, feeling her stretch open to accommodate me.

She fit perfectly as she always did, her velvety muscles molding to the familiar shape of my cock with practiced ease. Plunging in and out at a steady pace, I kept one hand at her hip for support while bringing the other back up to her soft breasts. She arched deliciously beneath me as my fingers caressed one while my lips occupied themselves with the other.

I could taste the salt of her sweat on my tongue as it flicked against a nipple, feeling her fingers trail along my spine until they had curled in my hair. She gripped the short gray strands tightly, holding my head against her chest as she rolled her hips against my own. Warm pleasure raced through my veins as I felt her start to find her rhythm until she was matching my relentless thrusts one right after another.

Knowing that it had been far too long for either of us and doubting that we could last much longer, I slid my hands beneath her to cup her round ass. Pulling her tightly against myself, I managed to stop my thrusts just long enough to lift her up slightly off the silken bedsheets. Shifting my weight carefully, I rose up on my knees, bringing Ilippi with to rest sitting in my lap.

She slid her arms around my shoulders, gazing lovingly into my eyes as she sat there impaled upon my cock. Supporting her by her shapely rear, I began to rock back and forth on my knees, thrusting faster this time. Taking the hint, she leaned in to kiss me ardently while her legs wrapped around my hips again to draw me even deeper within her silken pussy.

Holding her with one hand, I brought the other up along her back and over her slender neck until I had buried it in the mass of satiny red curls. She swivelled in my lap, arching her head back against my hand as I broke away from the kiss to trail my lips along her throat. I felt the soft vibration of her soft moans of pleasure and I dug my fingers into her butt for leverage as I began to pound her even harder.

Her cries grew louder and I could feel her velvety cunt gripping my prick with each and every powerful thrust. Leaning back with one hand at her back and the other upon her hip, I gave a single, hard thrust, drawing a sharp cry from her soft lips. She was so unbelievably tight by now that I knew it wouldn't be much longer.

Panting raggedly and feeling like I might explode with the intense pleasure welling up inside me, I pulled her into a tight embrace in a vain attempt to prolong the contact between us. Well-manicured nails bit into my skin, leaving what I knew would be some wicked scratches in the morning as I pressed my face into the crook of her neck to muffle my own grunts of pleasure. Sweat trickled down my back and I felt her rock desperately in my lap as she hurtled rapidly toward release.

A shrill cry of feral pleasure reached my ears as she exploded in orgasm around me, her slick passage seizing my cock in an exquisite deathgrip. I lost it a second later with a low growl, pounding into her with wild abandon as the hard spasms wracked my body. I could only hold her in a tight embrace, thrusting frantically as I unleashed my load, flooding her waiting depths until I had run dry.

She had sagged against my shoulder by the time I had finished, sitting there patiently while she trailed her fingertips along my back. I shivered as I slowly released her, breathing in the scent of sweat, musk and jade roses as I nuzzled against her neck. She said nothing as we sat there in silence together, no more willing to relinquish the moment than I was.

I was in no hurry to let Ilippi go, even as our breathing slowed and the sweat evaporated from our skin. Moments like this were all too rare and I knew that this was the last chance I would ever have to hold her in my arms like this. Despite the work I knew I would have to return to in the morning, I made no move to lay down or go to sleep. Instead, I simply sat there, memorizing every curve, every scent, everything I could about Ilippi so I could remember her like this for the rest of my life.

My lads were important to me, but Uthan could wait just a few hours longer.

---

Tekshar Falls Hotel, Kuat City, Kuat, 21 BBY, The Following Morning...

A soft, incessant beeping awoke me the next morning around 0500, long before any daylight had appeared over the horizon. Ilippi lay beside me in my arms, still sound asleep after the hours of lovemaking the night before. Reluctantly, I disentangled myself from her and rolled over, reaching for the comlink chirping on the nightstand where I had put it during the night.

Pushing the silken sheets aside, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and sat up with the comlink in hand. I didn't have to check the transceiver code to know who it was that was trying to reach me. Sparing a glance over my shoulder at Ilippi to make sure she hadn't been disturbed by the noise, I gave a sigh and turned back to answer it.

"Yes, Ord'ika?" I knew he had to be relatively close to Kuat to reach me, which meant he was probably wanting an update. I had no more information on Uthan than I did before, but it didn't really matter. I could easily pick up where I had left off the night before and continue my search as if the time I had spent with Ilippi had never happened.

It had, of course, and I was grateful at that moment that the comlink I had was audio-only. If it had been a holocom, my eldest son would have had quite the eyeful and I would have had an explanation to make. I loved my boys, but they had enough to deal with in their lives without adding my complicated problems to it.

"Any luck finding Uthan?" I honestly didn't mind that I had nothing to report. It was likely that I could have spent the entire night looking for Uthan instead of spending it with Ilippi and found nothing. As long as she remained asleep while I was speaking with Ordo, he would be none the wiser about what I had really been doing with my time.

"None yet. Don't worry, I'll call the minute I find anything crucial. You just take care of your brothers while I'm gone." Ordo had always been protective of his brothers, especially when I wasn't there. I still didn't know everything that Ko Sai had done to them and I knew better than to ask. Mereel's reaction to her on Dorumaa had said plenty about what sort of creature she had been and how cruel she had been to frightened little children.

"All right, Kal'buir. We'll see you when you get home, then." I could hear the disappointment in his voice that I hadn't found anything on Uthan. Next to myself and perhaps even that bastard, Vau, Ord'ika was the only one who realized just how grave the situation was. Without Ko Sai, Uthan was our only chance to find a way to stop the clones' advanced aging and give them a normal life.

I couldn't blame him for being disappointed. Ordo, like all clones, had never had a chance to willingly enlist and knew no life other than that of the battlefield. It was the dream of virtually every clone to survive the war to have what people like myself and Ilippi took for granted. A home, family, job...a real life.

"When I get home." Without anything further to say, I shut off the comlink and set it back down on the nightstand. Looking back at Ilippi, I noticed she hadn't moved an inch since I had slipped from the bed to answer Ordo's call. I could feel the lump rise up in my throat again as I realized that I would have to leave without actually saying goodbye.

Reaching over, I gently brushed a wisp of red-gray hair back off her face, taking the time to tenderly caress her soft jaw as I did so. I wanted nothing more than to forget about the war, the corrupt Republic, and lose myself in her smile and warm arms, but I knew I couldn't. I sat there for a moment, drinking in her lovely features, memorizing every detail as she lay there in the moonlight, wanting to remember her like this if I couldn't take her with me.

Pulling the silk sheet up over her bare shoulder to keep her warm, I rose from the edge of the bed and padded quietly into the other room to retrieve my armor. I dressed slowly and deliberately, unable to think of anything other than the beautiful woman sleeping in the other room. Last time, she had been the one to leave me. Now I was the one without any choice but to leave her without saying goodbye.

As I strapped on my gauntlets, I noticed something peeking out from within the thin folds of the shimmersilk nightgown where it lay on the carpeted floor. Reaching down, I pulled a small square of white septsilk from amongst the sea of emerald green. It was a handkerchief, one that was monogrammed with the words Ilippi Skirata and smelled of her jade rose perfume.

I knew she probably had a dozen more of these at home, wherever home was for her these days. Smiling wistfully to see that she had never stopped using my name despite the divorce, I carefully folded the delicate cloth into a small square and tucked it away into a breast pocket to keep it close. I finished strapping on the last of my armor as I walked back into the bedroom, standing at the edge of the bed to watch her sleep for a few moments more.

Even though I knew she would never use it, I took one of my knives from my boot and set it on the nightstand in place of the comlink. It was little more than a farewell gift for her to remember me by, even though I knew she would have no more trouble doing that than I would. Not wanting to disturb her happy sleep, I leaned down to kiss her forehead, breathing in the scent of sex and perfume before I stood and turned to walk away.

I had reached the doorway before I felt that pang of finality, knowing that I would likely never see Ilippi again after this. With my helmet in hand, I turned back slightly to look over my shoulder at her one last time. She had rolled over and was curled up to the pillow I had slept on, looking happier than I had known her to be in years.

Unable to bear the bittersweet ache in my chest any longer, I turned back and headed for the door, slipping my helmet on as I disappeared into the early morning darkness.