Temple Diaries (Chapter 1)

"Again," the harsh voice insisted. There was a stomp of booted feet on the ground. He knew it wasn't a request. More like an order.

"I am a jedi. Attachment is forbidden, Possession is forbidden, compassion is encouraged," Anakin repeated in a dead monatone. No inflection, nothing. Just hollow words spilling from his lips.

He had been kneeling here in the middle of this room for longer then he could imagine. His bare chest was covered in sweat, his legs were cramped from the weight of his body. He could feel the sweat trickling down his back, nestling in the area just before his spine curved. A pool of cruel intentions.

It was hot and he had to use the force just to make himself stay upright. Anyone else would've broken before now, but being a jedi had it's advantages or it's disadvantages, depending on your point of view.

Anakin could hear the booted heels clicking back and forth in the shadow just past where he was kneeling. Suddenly a rough hand reached out and slapped him. His head jerked to one side, but he righted it quickly to stare forwards and gave an indignent stare toward the direction of the hand. Anakin could now feel the blood oozing from the right corner of his lip.

"You will lay on your stomach," the voice said and continued it's metronome like pacing. "NOW!!!"

Anakin, stiff and barely able to move, positioned his body, laying face down on the hard floor. He was humiliated. Anger began to broil in his belly.

"Your hands," the voice said coldly. "Put them straight out."

Anakin did as instructed. He knew in the end, he would avenge whatever "the voice" could dish out. He would just have to wait. His hands felt the hard floor under them. It was cool and soothing compared to the rest of the room. He waited, face planted straight into the floor so his eyes could not see. Then he felt it. A seering, crunching pain of boots trampeling his fingers.

Anakin bit his lips as the weight pressed on his right hand. He would not, and could not, give the satisfaction of crying out. That was showing weakness. Something he didn't feel he could do. It was something he didn't want to do. He'd been beaten and tortured before. He had been a slave, after all. This was just another test.

He locked the pain away in his head. Somewhere, back there, it joined the pain from when he was a child and he would be beaten. The seering pain ceased and he felt his right hand throbbing from where the boots had stepped on them.

"AGAIN," the voice said fairly adgitated now.

"I am a jedi. Attachment is forbidden, Possession is forbidden, compassion is encouraged," Anakin said in a voice muffled against the floor.

A hand entangled in his hair and lifted his head back roughly. "AGAIN!" the voice said from behind.

"I am a jedi. Attachment is forbidden, Possession is forbidden, compassion is encouraged," Anakin said through clenched teeth. The pain in his scalp seering along with the other pains in his body. The hand released him and pushed his head back into the floor. The torment was not about to cease.

The voice laughed out of the darkness of the corner of the room. The sound echoing throughout the chamber. Anakin winced in pain at the sound. It wasn't just the fact that the laughing sounded as though it was out for revenge, it was who Anakin knew was behind it.

"Now," the voice said tapping a foot lightly on the floor. "The mantra."

Anakin sighed and raised his head up enough to be heard. His back was stiff and his arms were unable to support him. He used the force to aid him. He sank deeper and deeper into the force, using it to continue the task at hand.

"There is no emotion, there is peace; There is no ignorance, there is knowledge; There is no passion, there is serenity; There is no death, there is the force," Anakin repeated. A set of words he had heard and spoken more than a hundred times.

"So is there emotion now, Skywalker?" the voice asked harshly resuming it's pacing.

"There is no emotion, there is peace," Anakin replied. He lowered his head back down and rested his face against the cool, hard floor.

"I said," the voice said rather loudly and from somewhere behind Anakin. "IS THERE EMOTION NOW SKYWALKER?"

Anakin did not reply for moment and then he felt it on his left hand. The soles of a boot crushing his fingers. He wanted to cry out, but did not. He wanted to roll to his back and take his blade in his hand and strike down the person crushing his hand. It would've been so easy, yet so hard, to do.

"There is emotion," Anakin finally said in an anguished tone. The pressure released from his hand and he sighed loudly.

"Then we aren't doing it right," the voice said angrily, closer to Anakin's ear then before. "We need to start all over again!"

Anakin held his breath waiting for the next pain which would befall him. There was silence. The boots weren't pacing anymore. The silence was worse then the unrelenting pacing and torture. There was so much more torture inside one's mind. Anakin had experienced it many times. Now he was locked in this room receiving physical toture. The mental torture would come. He only had to wait.

"You will stand," the voice demanded of Anakin. Anakin groaned as he tried to heave his body weight up with a stiff and tired body. He was barely able to stand, his calves cramping in exhaustion and pain.

The boots were clattering on the floor behind him. And then there was blackness. His eyes covered with a blindfold. It was hard for the person doing this to be seen. They were afraid. Afraid of Anakin's eyes boring into them. Accusing them. It was the same anytime someone was beating you. They didn't want to know what they were really doing.

His legs were cut out from underneath him in one swoop. Anakin's body crashed to the ground, unable to move quickly enough to get his hands underneath him, his face smashed into the ground. He could taste more blood. It was pouring from his mouth and nose now. He could taste it in his mouth the metallic taste turning his stomach. He spat the liquid onto the floor, hoping that his torturer would slip in it.

"Why did you not use the force to aid yourself?" the voice asked inches from Anakin's face. So close he could feel the breath on his own face. He did not cower back from it though. He tried to stay strong.

Anakin said nothing, but continued to spit the blood out of his mouth, although it was hard because it was running straight from his nose and into his mouth.

"ANSWER ME!!!!" the voice yelled and grabbed Anakin's hair, prying his head back to where he felt like his spine might snap. Anakin choked and sputtered on the blood still in his mouth, but still said nothing. The hand on his hair pulled harder.

"There is no passion, there is serenity," Anakin said sarcastically. It was a big mistake. He was pushed hard down onto his face and still did not use his hands to stop himself from smashing into the hard floor. The fresh wounds on his face began to bleed again with a renewed gusto.

"YOU," the voice shouted as the boots paced around him. "You are arrogant!"

Anakin said nothing and laid in the face down position breathing heavily and spitting out the copeous amount of blood now pouring from his nose. He would be lucky if he got out of this with all of his teeth.

"Place your hands behind your back," the voice stated. Anakin complied. He felt the binding go around his wrists and then it was tightened until he knew he would not be able to feel his hands after just a short amount of time.

"STAND!!!!" the voice said growing more desperate and urgent. Anakin struggled to his feet. The blood now pouring down his chin and onto his bare chest mixing with the sweat already there. Anakin felt as he had never felt before. He was completly degraded. He stood as straight as he could though. He didn't want to show any signs of being weary.

And then he felt it. A hand, rough and unforgiving, was untying his leggings. They were pulled roughly down around Anakin's ankles. He now stood, blindfolded, bound and naked.

"Hose him off," the voice said to someone else who was in the room. Someone had entered without Anakin knowing.

Then the water came. It was cold and very high pressured. The pain of the water seered through Anakin's flesh. It was no comfort. The cool water should be refreshing, but it felt as though it would peel his flesh from it's bones. Anakin cried out. A mistake.

"Do you want me to stop?" the voice asked as the noise of the hose died away. Anakin did not answer. "AGAIN!"

The hose leashed out at Anakin and he tried not to move. To stand firm against it and not give the satisfaction of letting the torturer know how close to breaking Anakin really was. He was close. This was the most humilating session of beatings and torture he had ever experienced. His tormenters were very crafty.

The leggings, which were stripped to Anakin's ankles, were now wet and twisted. They bound his feet. He could not run, he could not get away. The water from the hose ceased and Anakin stood wet, naked and bound.

"Now," the voice said reaching a hand out and grabbing Anakin's between the legs. "You will submit."

Anakin said nothing. He made no move. The hand, rough and angry, began to pull on Anakin's flacid member. It wasn't pleasurable, but more painful. The hand yanked, too hard and then repeated the motion again. Anakin felt the hot friction which was building between his torturer's hand and his groin. It was painful and he wanted it to stop.

"Please," Anakin said in a hoarse voice. He never thought he would beg.

"So you can feel pain?" the voice said very close to Anakin's ear. The hand tugged harder and then squeezed. Anakin groaned in pain. "The mantra.....AGAIN!"

Anakin tried to focus to remember the words which he had spoken a million times. The hand was distracting and he could no longer feel his own hands which were bound so tightly against his back.

"There is no emotion, there is peace; There is no ignorance, there is knowledge; There is no passion, there is serenity; There is no death, there is the force," Anakin managed to croak out. It came straight from his subconscious because he could no longer feel himself thinking.

The hand released him and a swift kick was delivered straight to his stomach. Anakin crumpled over in pain. His hands were bound and unable to stop him. He fell and laid there huddled on the floor, naked and now shivering. His right cheek pressed against the floor.

"I don't understand what you want," Anakin said in a hushed tone. "I've done what you've asked."

There was silence in answer to the statement he had made. The voice said nothing and the boots were not pacing. He was starting to wonder if he was all alone. He waited for a moment or two and then found a way to rock himself back and onto his butt. He sat there on the wet floor.

"So what have you learned?" the voice finally said after several quiet moments.

"There is no emotion," Anakin said repeating what he had always been taught.

"WRONG!!!!" the voice yelled out, coming closer to Anakin as he sat on the floor. "There is emotion. There is alot of emotion."

There was a scuff and then a swift kick to the groin. Anakin moaned in pain and doubled over into the fetal position. He had never felt such seering pain. He felt as though he might throw up and then he did. Anakin lay there, naked, cold, wet, bloody and in his own vomit. He groaned and wished for it to stop.

"Please," Anakin begged sobbing. "Please, I want this to stop."

Anakin felt his hands released from behind his back. They were numb and not of any use. He waited for the feeling to come back into them. The blindfold was lifted from his eyes. Anakin wasn't sure if the torture was over or not.

"You will kneel," the voice said from behind Anakin. Anakin sighed and drug himself up to the kneeling position again.

"This will be how it is padawan," the voice said in a more fatherly tone, "if you are ever captured."

Anakin sighed. The torture was ending.

"It could even be worse," the voice said again.

Anakin said nothing. He knelt with his eyes closed. A hand rested on his bare shoulder. It was not a hateful hand, but comforting Anakin.

"I understand master," Anakin said and finally opened his eyes.

He knew it was important to learn how it would be if he were to be captured by an enemy, Anakin just never though Obi-wan would be so good at torturing him. His master seemed to be an expert.

"I'll help you up," Obi-wan said and lifted Anakin under the arms, helping the padawan to stand.

"Thank you master," Anakin said and leaned heavily on his master. "I need to get these leggings from around my feet."

"Stand here and let me," Obi-wan said knelt down, letting Anakin rest his hands on Obi-wan's shoulders as he helped him get the wet leggings from around his ankles.

Obi-wan's eyes met Anakin's as he released his feet. He knew he should not covent his padawan as he did, but it was hard, seeing him this vulnerable. Obi-wan could feel the erection growing in his own leggings.

"We need you to get to the healer," Obi-wan said rising from the floor and trying to hid the arousal he felt. He let Anakin lean on him heavily. "I'll give you my robe, it's over by the door."

"Thank you master," Anakin said.