A God's Good Humor

A god's good humor.
By: Muse of Anon/ The Great Unnamed


Will grumbled to himself, attempting to find Jack Sparrow was harder then he had first anticipated. Everywhere he went there was a different story, plus a woman had slapped him, he was pretty sure that she was a whore as well. Now perhaps Jack deserved that but Will most certainly did not. Once he found Jack there would be a lot of talking and perhaps some violence. He was exhausted and all he wanted to do we sleep, for Elizabeth’s safety though he had to find Jack. One more person, he decided, before he called it an afternoon.

On the dock not too far away there was a man, it looked like he was fixing a fishing net. Will carefully approached him, “Excuse me, but I am in desperate need to find Captain Jack Sparrow. Have you heard anything on his whereabouts?”

The man looked up, his dark brown skin looked almost golden in the sun. His accent was slightly thicker then normally found in Port Royal, but luckily he had no problems understanding him. “Can’t say about Jack Sparrow,” Will could feel his heart sink. “but there’s an island just south of the straits where I trade spice for… delicious long pork.” The mans mouth watered because he paused before going on. “Cannot say about Jack. But you can find a ship there. A ship with black sails.”

“Could you take me to this island?”

The man looked him over from the tips of his toes to the top of his head. “And what would a man such as yourself have to trade with me?” The tone he used confused Will, as no one had ever spoken to him in such a way.

“I do not have much, but I do have this dagger. I do not know it’s worth, however; it is finely crafted.” He pulled it off his belt, he hated to give it away but to find Jack was more important then any of his weapons. Surprisingly the man started laughing. “What is so funny?”

“You are not one of Jack Sparrow’s whores.” He laughed harder before picking up the dagger. “This will barter you safe passage to the island. Come lets get ready to make sail.”

Will flushed with a mix of anger and embarrassment. Did everyone he had gone to think he was a whore? Well hopefully he would never have to set foot on this disgusting island again.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Will stood next to the man, who introduced himself as Phillip, and both were looking onto the shore of the island. A majestic boat had been run a ground and true enough, black sails heralded this boat as The Black Pearl. It looked just as Will had remembered it. Phillip closed his spy glass and told him “My brother with take you ashore.”

“Thank you for your help.”

“Be careful on this island, not many venture here.”

“Again I thank you, but I am sure I can handle myself.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Will sat with Phillip’s brother, who it seemed did not speak English, only French. Will was for the first time glad that he had to learn French. The shore was coming nearer and nearer when the man stopped.

“What’s wrong? The shore is right there.”

“C’est trop dangerous.”

“What?”

“C’est trop dangerous, je vous lavais dit.” Will Stood up and prepared himself, this he had not bargained for. “Bon voyage, monsieur.” He dove into the water and prayed silently that this was all for nothing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

After swimming to shore Will walked up to the grand ship. “Jack! Jack Sparrow!” He cupped his hands around his mouth to be heard. There was no answer. “Marty!” pause “Cotton!” Still nothing. “Anybody?” Perhaps they were all out of earshot, somewhere in the thick jungle in front of him. On the edge of the thick trees he heard the flapping of wings and looked to see Cotton’s parrot landing on a tree stump. “Ah a familiar face.” What was responded to him was ghastly.

“Don’t eat me.”

“I’m not going to eat you.”

“Don’t eat me.”

“Look at you, you’re all bone and feather and you’d probably taste like pigeon.” Will stormed away mumbling about crazy birds and he could still hear the parrot repeating it’s disturbing message.

“Don’t eat me… No don’t eat me.”

Farther into the jungle Gibbs’ flask hung from a small noose. The braided cord went farther into the jungle, Will could not say why he decided to follow where it might lead but this would probably be one of his many stupid actions that Jack warned him about. After a long trek the rope ended. Will held up the end and looked at it in confusion when suddenly he saw something move on his right someone sprang out at him and he lurched away, getting caught in a simple bear trap. People surrounded him and he was hanging by his foot. “Come on! Lets go!” He drew his sword and started clashing it against their spears. “Come on, who wants it?” He kept fighting even with the blood was rushing to his head. “I can do this all day!” He failed notice that the natives were sharing looks at each other, nor that one had prepared a blow dart. A dart imbedded itself into his neck, almost instantly the poison spread into his system. Darkness pulled him under.

Will went in and out of consciousness, all he knew was he had been tied to a pole and was being carried off somewhere, where they were taking him he did not know. He distantly heard drums which were getting louder, he tried several times but it took so much energy to open his eyes. He was swinging back and forth as the natives carried him. Suddenly they stopped and one of them, Will’s guess the chief said something. “Kali, kali tendahna.”

With that said Will finally forced his eyes open. There sitting in the Headman’s seat was the person he had been searching for. “Jack?” His voice was almost too soft, so he swallowed and tried again. “Jack Sparrow!” He chuckled and had a laugh in his voice as he spoke next. “I can honestly say I’m glad to see you.” Regally Jack rose from his chair and walked over to Will. Then he poked Will in the shoulder, then the pirate began to walk away. “Jack it’s me. Will Turner.”

“Marceko?”

“Ehn dan na. Eecipi!” One of the tribesmen said, the rest followed suit.

“Tell them to let me down!” Will said hopefully.

“Keh lai Lom. Lom peekie peekie. Lom eensy weensy.” Suddenly Jack walked to Wills rear and grabbed it. Will let out a squeal and tried to move away, he did not care for such a touch. Jacks eyes were alight with humor and another emotion that Will had never seen before. Jack turned back to his followers and spoke again in their language. “Lom say say Consortie bang bang.” Jack turned away and Will noticed the prize he was sent out to find.

“Jack the compass. That’s all I need. Elizabeth is in danger. We were arrested for trying to help you. She faces the gallows!”

Will didn‘t know why but suddenly Jack seemed to tense then turn to face his band of strange fellows. He obviously gave an order, “Say say Lom supp supp swam mallilolli suku. Mannipolle!”
His followers looked at Will hanging upside down and one called “Mannipolle!” Several women ran to untie Will, before he could hit the ground several of the men caught him and hoisted him up. “Jack what did you tell them?” He was being carried away from Jack to a hut and the women were following, and they were giggling, which made Will more scared. “What about Elizabeth? Jack!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Will was forced to endure many embarrassing things in that hut. From the men refusing to let him down, to the women cutting off his clothes. They used paints to decorate strange marks all over his body. One of them was so bold to pry apart his arse cheeks. He tried to stop what ever she was doing but the men had a firm hold of him. She was applying a paint there too and when she was done he was carried back out in front of Jack, who was smirking devilishly.

Nothing Will had ever faced had scared him as much as that smile. His eyes were large as the villagers brought him right before Jack. Jack stood once again and admired the tribal paint. He followed it right into his cleft and laughed when Will tried to kick him.

“Kemp to may Lom say say hep hep. Savvy?” He turned around and started walking towards the largest hut, the villagers followed. Will again tried to break free, however; the hold they had upon his limbs was far to strong, just shy of leaving bruises. He was carried through the hut’s bead covered doorway, only to see what must be their equivalence to a temple of sin. There were animal pelts covering the floor and some more pelts looked to be stuffed like a furry pillow. Rich fabrics, probably salvaged off of ships were tossed around the space. Platters of fruits and some strange looking meat, though it smelled cooked it was still very pink. Though to Will the most terrifying thing in the hut was Jack himself as he stripped off his clothes.

The six men restraining Will carried him to the far wall, where some more vine ropes hung. Will again struggled, not noticing that he had stopped in his shock. There would be no hope if he was tied. He managed to pull on leg free and kicked out. He had the satisfaction of hitting one of his captors directly in the jaw. There was a satisfying crunch and that man fell down, he tried to do so with his other leg another just took over the fallen mans job to secure his foot.

He had no chance to struggle more and he was tied to the wall close to the floor. His arms did not have a lot of slack and just the angle forced pain into his shoulders. He heard someone getting closer to him, and looked murderously at the approaching pirate. “Release me now!”

Jack just smirked and spoke to the savages again. “Lom kali in dinha.” The beasts in human flesh walked outside, but through the beads will could still see at least two men. “Well, well, well. It seems dear William has come to my rescue again.”

“What are you talking about, I came out here to rescue Elizabeth.”

“Those people revere me as a God. A god made man, a sex god in that.” He smirked again before he came back to himself. “Not too long ago they were talking about giving me a great honor. To make me a god again. To do that though, I’d have to die.”

Will cocked his head to the side, somehow he did not like the way this was turning out. “And how did I save you from this fate?”

“Ah so glad you asked.” He sat down in front of Will but wisely out of striking range. “They have a prophesy when it comes to their gods. They are always come in three.”

“And? That has nothing to do with me.”

“On the contrary. While a sex god enjoys the love of many a fair maid, he must always have his perfect mate. The goddess of fertility. Now if a sex god is made flesh then the fertility goddess must also be crafted from human flesh. Together they would make a god, or goddess of love or beauty… that part didn’t interest me.”

“And how does this apply to me?”

“You my dear Will, are just that goddess.” There was a momentary pause before the blacksmith tried to kill the pirate. “See, a fertility goddess doesn’t just accept from her better half, she has to be tamed. Just like you.”

“Have you completely missed the fact that I am in fact a man?”

“That what makes this all the better. Should you get pregnant, we will instantly be returned to our God selves and there will be no need to burn our bodies and eat us. So after we do what we gods do best you act knocked up.” He came a bit closer to Will and received a well placed kick to the chest for his troubles.

“If you so much as lay a finger on me I will rip off what classifies you as a man!”

“Now, now sweet William. No need to get grumpy savvy?” He rubbed his wound and pouted at the tied man. “Oh!” As if he suddenly remembered something and went to retrieve it. He returned with a strange powder and what looked like a plant oil. “Now I just need some….” again he walked away, towards the door and said
“Chief want fire.” there was no movement then he pointed at the powder. “There we are.”

“Jack I am warning you, do not attempt this. I will kill you for this.”
“I believe that will all change.” He carried the smoking powder over to the restrained craftsman. “All you need is the proper incentive.”

“Nothing you can do will entice me to allow this…..” Will suddenly stopped his argument and realized that

Jack had said something earlier that he hadn’t really heard. “Did you say eat us?

“Took you long enough to catch on that.”

“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you where you stand.”

“Currently you are unable to do any such thing, but; the best reason would be because I made sure they didn’t eat you the second they carried you into camp.”

Will inhaled deeply about to argue more when the most enticing aroma filled his mind with lambs wool, and a warm feeling spread all the way to his toes. His eyes clouded and he felt as if all this muscles in his body had released. “Jack…. what?”

“Don’t try to talk whelp, the more you surrender to this the less likely you’ll have dangerous side effects.”

“Side effects?” Will opened his eyes and found himself flat on his back, he tried to sit up only to fall over again. “Jack… Elizabeth.”

“Shut it whelp. We’ll talk about ol’ what’s-her-face later. Now lets allow ourselves to be swept away from… ourselves.” Will was deep enough in the influence of the drug to not hear the fact that Jack had floundered for words. Will’s mind continued to shut down due to the drugs influence, the power overwhelmed him quickly and soon he had passed out. Jack relaxed further and allowed himself to be affected as well.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

When Will awoke next, there was a hunger he had never felt before. His eyes opened and fell upon the golden skinned pirate captain. The starving blacksmith knew that this man was the only one that could get the pains to go away. He failed to notice that he was no longer restrained, he leapt upon the waiting man with a growl. Both males were bare and their tribal paint was long since dried. Will had, from the force of his jump, landed on top though he was easily flipped and pinned beneath Jack. The sounds of drums lifted into the air, however; the beat could not penetrate the passion filled minds of the men.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Will woke to the sound of voices all speaking in a language he had never learned. He stretched and rolled over hoping that he could find a few moments of extra sleep. He was awake enough to know this was not the shop, or even Port Royal. Perhaps he was still in Tortuga looking for Jack Sparrow… but that wouldn’t explain the silk that he was wrapped in. He rubbed his forehead and opened his eyes. There was chipped paint all over his arm. He felt the stiffness all over his body, and he slowly sat up. He had found Jack, slowly this memory of the village of cannibals returned to him. There was something just beyond his grasp that was crucial to remember… he racked his mind and then the memory slammed into him. They thought Jack and himself were gods. “Oh no.”

“So, you finally woke up.”

The voice sounded behind him forcing him to spin around to see the pirate captain looking at him. “Jack!”

“Do you remember last night?”

“I remember you trying to bed me!”

“I did mate.”

Images flashed into Will’s mind. His face grew hot and his breathing uneven. His eyes found the dark brown of Jacks real eyes through the growing dark spots before his own brown eyes rolled up into the back of his head and he was once again in the mercy of unconsciousness.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Will leapt upon Jack with a fierce growl and knocked the pirate flat on his back. He bared his teeth at the man in a feral smile before he was rudely flipped and was pinned. He growled again in anger that he was not in captured, but it was quickly turned into a hiss of joy as the others teeth sank into his neck. The talented tongue traveled down his body, occasionally being replaced by teeth or lips.

Will screamed as his shaft was sucked inside a warm mouth. His hips bucked bring him farther down the pirates throat. Jack bobbed up and down on the thick shaft in his mouth and throat. He would alternate from the fast rhythm to a slow one that would make Will scream in frustration. The whelp under him had wrapped his hands in the hair and dreadlocks and tried to use them to return the quicker pace. Jack would not allow him any control over this, their first encounter… This time had to be used to show him that no dainty woman could satisfy him like a man could, and no man could do the job nearly as well as the captain himself. Finally the younger man screamed out his completion. Jack swallowed the seed and pulled back to look at the young man that now was his.

It was true that Jack had used a powerful aphrodisiac against the youth, but; it had no real effect on the pirate. He had grown used to mind altering substances anything from his precious rum to the talk of Singapore, Opium. That whore Elizabeth Swann would find this tactic unfair and fully immoral Jack knew that all was fair in love and war. War had been declared between the captain and the lady on the island where Barbossa had left them to die. It was not Jack’s problem that she could not have understood.

The younger man was finally getting his breaths evened out when the voice shook him deep, “Will?” Honeyed eyes slammed open and they watched Jack a powerful want filling his body again. “I’m going to fuck you now.” The response almost made Jack forget about preparing the young man. Will had spread his legs and arched his back letting the chief catch a glimpse of the secret entrance.

Turning away from the overly tempted sight he saw the bowl of glistening oil near the beaded entrance. He quickly retrieved it. Sitting down between the spread thighs he coated his fingers in the thick but slick substance. He knew that due to the drug Will would be a lot more loose then he would normally be and quickly but carefully inserted two fingers deep into Wills anus. The responding scream scared Jack out of his skin. He froze as he waited, it tool him a good moment to understand it had not been made from pain, but of absolute pleasure… the sound had been so loud that it had reverberated off the mountains, probably scared his crew being held in those disturbing cages. Hands grabbed his shoulders fingers digging in, the nails drawing blood. The fingers pumped in and out if Will, every few thrusts they would brush his core. Without the lads knowing a third and fourth finger had been added stretching him with care. Had he been in his right mind he would be fighting against the invasion, instead he cried out in disappointment as the fingers were withdrawn.

“Look at me.” Two sets or brown eyes locked onto the other. Jack smirked and sat back his erection slick and glistening in the poor light. “You want it Will? Well come and take it.” The other man had crossed the short distance and straddled the slim waist and was currently lowering himself on the hard staff, in under a second. Even with the mind altering drug and the stretching Will stopped. For a brief second Jack was afraid that the pain was great enough to send back the prudish blacksmith. After a breath the young man slammed his body down taking in the whole ten inches of Jack. “Oh, bugger.” Jack whispered and he had no time to get accustomed to the super tight sheath. Will started to ride the long hot erection, he would slam his body down and then quickly lift himself back off, so lost in his lust sometimes he would pull right off the end.

The passage was already tight but when Will brushed his prostate with Jack’s cock his muscles would clench even tighter and threaten to break Jack’s composure. “Oh!” It was the first actual word that Will had said the entire time, and was the only word before a loud scream of completion.

The passage clenched repeatedly dragging Jacks seed from his body and planting in deep into Will. Making Jack scream out Will’s name. Never before had Jack climaxed so strong. It could be possible that the aphrodisiac had made an effect on him after all. He looked down at the man that slumped against him, Will had passed out again. He carefully pulled his lover off his softening and sensitive prick.

Knowing Will, he would be furious when he realized what had happened to him, but Jack couldn’t make himself care really. He had won. No matter what happened next Will would always belong to him. He placed the other man on the piles of fur and draped a large piece of silk over the two of them. Where his followers had found silk was beyond him, but he was glad they had.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jack smiled at the memories, he had come up with the perfect plan. Once Will accepted that Jack was his master then he would take the youth into the jungle to fuck his brains out, if the villagers were about he would tell them that no child would be conceived if they were watching. Together they would escape and rescue his crew, and once they had reached the Pearl he really would fuck Wills brains out.

End Chapter one.

A/N: I want to thank all of you for waiting for this to be reposted. I hopefully have fixed everything that was wrong in the first posting. The other chapters are to follow shortly, hopefully tomorrow as it’s already 11pm. I am fixing everything so that I can finish the mpreg and the second installment. Thank you again for understanding.

Muse of Anon/ The Great Unnamed.