A hot night

New Vulcan is too hot.
He hadn’t managed to visit the original before it got destroyed and can’t remember much from the time he was trying to save it. What he mostly remembers from those moments is the adrenaline rushing through his veins.
Unable to sleep he moves through Sarek’s house trying not to make noise and disturb the others present. Vaguely he recalls it to be build in an ancient Vulcan style, the rooms large and windowless. The other characteristic is that the house hardy has any internal doors, only the servants quarters and the family residence are separated by them. Even the guest quarters don’t have them. Jim hopes he won’t wander in to the sleeping quarters or anyone else by mistake.
Accepting his first officer’s invitation to stay on the planet while they are helping out at the new colony was an impulse. An impulse Jim is regretting more and more as he wanders around. It wouldn’t have been that bad really if it was just him and Spock and Sarek in he big, dark house. But there is one other present and Jim doesn’t know how to deal with that presence.
Ambassador Spock Prime, the intruder from another reality, is in residence as well. Sarek is aware of who the man living in his house is. Jim wonders how that conversation went and if his first officer had been present. The old Vulcan hasn’t paid much attention to Jim in the last few days and that is something he finds he can’t stand. After his experience in the cave on Delta Vega he expected… something more.
Jim certainly wants something more. He has been thinking quite a lot about the old Vulcan in the last few months. The things he has seen, no felt… experienced in the Mind Melt have haunted his night and helped him through the days captaining the Enterprise. To have someone with so much confidence in him, in the rightness of his actions, has been a heady feeling. Every time he doubts he reaches for the memories of that sensation. He wants to feel that faith in his abilities again, see that faith in the Vulcan’s eyes. But the old Vulcan is ignoring every attempt he makes to talk or even be in the same room together. Being ignored hurts more then Jim expected. He hates being ignored more then anything else, there has been too much ignoring in his youth for him to tolerate it easily.
He snaps himself out of his dark thoughts aware that they will not help anything. If the Academy and Bones have though him anything it is that there is no point in wallowing. He doesn’t want to go back to what he was before captain, now admiral, Pike found him.
Wandering while thinking is never a good idea. Jim realizes that he has no idea where he is. Walking trough the next door he comes upon Kirk finds himself in a small courtyard he doesn’t remember coming across before. It is a luxury even on this new planet: there is a pond with a rock from the depths of which water slowly flows. On the other side Jim can see another archway which might lead to an area of the house he might recognize.
He doesn’t realize his error right away. The room he enters is too dark for him to see properly. Then he realizes that instead of a hall he has entered a bedroom. It isn’t very large and sparsely furnished as far as he can see by the contours of the furniture. Jim is already turning around to remove himself when he sees the occupant of the rather large bed clearly as the moon comes out from behind the clouds in the sky. Spock Prime is asleep, not something one sees Vulcans do often, as serene as when he is awake and in control. Jim wants to leave, he really does, but seeing the Vulcan stops him. He’s never really had a chance to look at this Spock properly. He can see traces of his first officer tempered by time and experience. But the younger Vulcan is different Jim can’t quite imagine Spock Prime as aggressive as his younger counterpart, more in control… Something is different even if he can’t put a finger on it. And that difference is what draws Jim to the alien male sleeping before him.
“James?”
The voice is harsh with sleep yet clear. Jim actually jumps in surprise then curses himself. A starship officer should pay attention to his surroundings at all times.
“Ambassador…I am sorry, I got lost.”
Now that the old Vulcan is awake Jim can’t bring himself to look at him. With the dark eyes on him, Kirk suddenly remembers that Vulcans have far better night vision then humans, he suddenly remembers his state of dress or lack of it as the case may be. All he’s wearing is a pair of sleeping pants as sure as he was that there wouldn’t be anyone about he hadn’t bothered to get dressed.
“You have trouble sleeping?”
Spock Prime sits up his contours clearly visible to Kirk yet his face in shadows. Jim feels more naked then ever clearly outlined in the door for the scrutiny of a man who has a lifetime of knowledge of him. Well not him exactly but someone who seem to have been quit similar.
“Its too hot. I’m still getting used to that.”
“Tell me what is bothering you James?”
It is clear that Spock Prime is used to being obeyed. The voice touches something deep inside him and Jim find himself taking a few steps deeper in to the room.
“Why do you call me James?”
Anything is better then talking about why he really can’t sleep. And it is a change from the ice planet.
“That is your name is it not?”
He nods unsure where this is going.
“I called my captain Jim you are not him. I prefer to note the distinction, it helps me to remember it.”
Can a Vulcan grieve? Yes, they can. He has seen it in his first officer and the refugees they have transported to New Vulcan. They do feel even if they prefer not to admit to it. There is so much that statement can mean it makes Jim wonder if he isn’t imagining things. He isn’t used to Vulcans showing this much emotion.
“He was important to you.”
Another few steps closer in the hope to see the expression on the old Vulcan’s face.
“Yes he was.”
Saying this Spock looks away for the first time since waking. Next thing he knows Jim is standing next to the bed.
“Can you tell me about him? I mean I remember what you said, the glimpse I saw in the meld…”
“You wish to know if the two of you are alike?”
Yes Jim does want that but more then that he wants to know more about Spock, this one who knows all about him. Maybe it is because they have shared minds that Jim feels so drawn to the older Vulcan.
“Yes, no I don’t really know are we a lot alike? Even Nero said he was a hero…”
Nero’s words echo in his mind every time he walks on to the bridge. He wonders what it will take for him to forget them.
“Jim Kirk was a remarkable human. You have the potential to be one as well.”
If only he could believe that himself. But he can’t, that is what he needs Spock Prime for because everyone else is waiting for him to screw up as well. Command had no choice but to promote him but they haven’t forgotten of forgiven.
“I don’t believe that. I make a decent captain but I’m no hero. The only hero in the family was Dad.”
Jim is standing close enough to see more or less clearly now. Or maybe it’s the moon becoming brighter again. The Ambassador is sitting up his blanket pooled in his lap, Jim tries not to look too closely at the Vulcan’s bared flesh. The slender chest is covered with matted gray fur, the arms rangy folded neatly in the Vulcan’s lap. Jim tries not to wonder what is hidden by the blanket.
“James”
He looks up in to dark eyes and turns away suddenly remembering he’s supposed to have manners.
“I’m sorry Ambassador I should not be disturbing you.”
“James come here.”
He should be walking away. Maybe he should even be running. Yet everything inside him screams for him to turn around. Most of his life he has been running away from things or to catch up to something. Jim had learned to take care of himself at an early age, about the same time he stopped relying on other people for comfort. But now he desperately wants permission to relay on this Vulcan.
“I don’t think that would be a good idea right now Ambassador.”
Walking should be easy he’s been doing it his whole life. Just set one foot in front of the other and move away from whatever… Only moving one foot doesn’t seem like such an easy task right now. He hears rustling behind him and has to turn around to look. Apparently Vulcan’s prefer to sleep nude. That is a little more information then Jim can handle right about now lost in a maze of rules, regulations and expectations.
“James I shall never hurt you.”
He has to laugh at that. Somehow he knows that this Spock couldn’t even if he tried unlike his first officer. If that was the problem…there wouldn’t be a problem.
“I don’t doubt it. That isn’t the…”
Once he was reckless enough to take any challenge or risk no matter what odds. Maybe being the captain has made him too cautious. Those who had known him before he joined Starfleet would have been laughing if they saw him right now. Agonizing over the Ambassador like a lovesick girl! No way for James T. Kirk to behave not matter what! Taking that step seems a hell of a lot easier when it leads back to the Vulcan. Grabbing Spock Prime is easy as well. The Vulcan is taller and Jim finds to his irritation that he has to stand on tiptoe but then he manages to plant a hard kiss on the Vulcan’s lips expecting pretty much to be pushed away.
What he gets indeed is stronger then expected arms around him and a presence in his mind. It isn’t like the Mind Meld on the ice planet, not a conscious decision but an instinctual response. Jim flounders between the real and mental world for a second then shrugs and focuses on the kiss. The temperature difference between their bodies is startling, the fur rubbing against his chest annoying and arousing at once. The texture of the Vulcan’s tong is different from a human’s, rougher, more agile. Jim realizes that he’s lost control of the situation and doesn’t care. Doesn’t care at least until the Vulcan starts to pull away and the presence slips from Jim’s mind.
“Nnnno…”
“James this is not a good idea.”
He realizes that, he realized that before kissing Spock.
“I warned you. I’ve never had a good idea in my life.”
Smiling has always worked to appease people who are pissed off at Jim. Its an automatic response to being in trouble.
“That is not so. You are uncertain at the present time. The certainty of the rightness of you actions will come in time James. You do not need me to tell you that you are correct.”
“You are probably the only one who isn’t expecting me to fail. Even my first officer isn’t sure me being captain is a good idea.”
To hear a Vulcan chuckle is probably a once in a lifetime experience. Jim gets pulled along as Spock sits down on the bed.
“You should not blame my younger self. He does not quite understand humans yet, give him time.”
Time, that is something there is enough of that that with Starfleet busy building up its fleet again and the Klingons keeping quite for a time. They might just have time enough to get used to each other before shit hits the fan again and they do work well together under stress but it isn’t enough.
“I don’t think time will make any difference. Besides he isn’t you.”
He knows that he sounds petulant and shifts closer to the Vulcan needing to feel the rangy body against his own again. Spock allows it or maybe he needs the contact as well, Jim isn’t sure and isn’t about to ask. The presence in his mind returns and Jim reaches for it with all he is. He envelops the strange presence with himself trying to make sure that he will hold on at least to a part of it.
“What is it that you desire James?”
Such a simple question if only Jim knew how to answer. He want to say that he wants Spock, that he needs the Vulcan and that he isn’t sure where this need well lead. Words don’t seem to be enough, language insufficient for understanding. Spock has been in his mind just now during the kiss and still he has to ask this question.
“Can’t you see it? Feel what I want? Or something…”
To stress the point he runs his hand over the Vulcan’s chest. If only he could express clearly what he’s asking for. For some reason Jim expects Spock to just know what this is all about. He can’t even explain it to himself but there is a pull which he can not deny or disobey.
“I see that I should not have Mind Melted with you James.”
Gently, oh so gently Spock pulls away leaving Jim drifting in the darkness. It seems leaving would have been the better option after all.
“It seems that with the memories I intended to show you something else was transferred in to your mind.”
Yes, Jim remembers that, he also remembers picking up Spock’s emotions as well on the ice planet and in the kiss they have shared just now.
“What got transferred?”
They look at each other for several minutes in silence. Jim might feel the impulse to fill it with words but the old Vulcan’s gaze and presence mute it. He needs to hear what Spock will eventually say. It might change his life as much as the first meld did or it might not mean anything at all.
“The memories of my bond mate. Your thought are similar enough to his that I could not differentiate them when I withdrew. You feel him emotions, his need combined with yours.”
“The other Kirk’s? He was your bond mate?”
The old Vulcan nods. Jim feels relieved, for a moment at least. Because if the majority of what he is feeling isn’t his then he can still recognize himself as the self sufficient individual he has been all his life. Yet if these emotions aren’t his… he will lose the faith which has sustained him through the last months.
“Yes he was, until his disappearance. I did not die because the link was not broken in the usual way yet James Kirk could not be retrieved.”
“So?”
“I am still bonded to James Kirk on a subconscious level when we melded I reached out to you. The bond is incomplete but the building blocks are there.”
His counterpart had been bonded to a Vulcan. Had been bonded to the Vulcan Jim is looking at now. He wonders what his counterpart had thought and what his first officer might think if his information is ever to fall in to his hands. He doubts that they will be more then friends even if they spend five years together as a command team. His first officer has Uhura after all, the two of them might even already be bonded for all Jim knows. A part of him, the needy part, the insecure part wants to embrace the bond and never be alone for the rest of his life. The part that is the Captain denies that option, to be bonded to this Vulcan for the rest of his life would present difficulties. Spock Prime would not be able to travel with him and Jim can’t bare the idea of staying on one planet especially now that he has the Enterprise.
“Can this be fixed?”
“Do you mean can this bond be removed? No, not without revealing who I am. Even then there is a chance that not all of the memories would be removed or that some of your memories will not be taken as well.”
The idea of losing all the feelings which he remembers now is physically painful.
“Will I still want you after the removal?”
Spock reaches out and caresses Jim’s face with two fingers. Jim recognizes it as the Vulcan equivalent of a kiss.
“I do not know.”
He catches the Vulcan’s hand in his own and clumsily imitates a gesture he has only seen in vids at the Academy in a xenobiology class on different cultures. Spock’s eyes widen noticeably in surprise at the gesture then Jim feels a thin tendril of, for the lack of better word, “Spock” in his mind again.
“Do you want me? I mean me or do you only remember your bond mate when you see me?”
For a Vulcan logic might be the only way to chose a mate but Jim has other demands. They might be too human for Spock to understand but if the Vulcan has been bonded to a human for who knows how many years he might be understood.
“You are not my bond mate. You do not have his experiences or his thought. I see him and you equally in similarities and differences. I should not be desiring a second lifetime with James T. Kirk yet I find myself doing just that.”
Such an interesting speech.
“That isn’t an answer.”
“That is as much of an answer as I can give. There are several variables to consider. I am 80 years older. A Vulcan bond is not easy to bare, especially for a human. You are…”
Jim can guess what Spock is about to say and can’t bare to hear it.
“If I’m old enough to be responsible for 400 people on a daily basis I can make a decision about my personal life!”
He pulls away only then realizing that their fingers had been touching all through the conversation. The loss of the warmth which accompanied it, the tendril that is Spock, seems very noticeable.
“I do not dispute your ability to make choices James. Merely to put our current situation in perspective.”
He is right, of course Jim knows he is right but he also knows that if he allows Spock to use logic on his situation. Even knowing that his feelings for the older Vulcan might not be his own he needs to take the chance. It all comes back to being wanted and believed in, for once in his life being accepted exactly for who he is without any expectations. That is not something he is willing to give up, he realizes, not even if he has to make the sacrifice of the Enterprise to have someone of his own.
“I know what I am doing Spock. I want this.”
Maybe talking isn’t the answer. They could be talking in circles till dawn comes and maybe even longer. But without taking the chance Jim is sure that they won’t get anywhere. So he does the only think he knows how to do: takes a chance.
He swings around straddling the Vulcan’s lap, pressing himself as close as he can to Spock’s body. The sensation of alien skin and fur against his own brings back the arousal their conversation had dissipated. He rubs his cheek against the Vulcan’s once then twice before starting to indulge himself exploring green colored skin with his lips and tong. He can feel a very slight change in Spock’s breathing patterns as his mouth finds a pointed ear and licks it. His hands cares the muscles of the lean back, then dig in to the fur on the Vulcan’s chest. He leans in forcing Spock down on to his back on the bed while capturing the Ambassadors mouth in a kiss again. Eventually Spock submits to the intrusion of Jim’s tong returning the kiss, still hesitantly and Jim doesn’t feel the Ambassador’s presence in him mind this time, but at least there is contact again, a physical connection which for a human can be enough.
Jim is already sure that in the end he will be denied but it seems Ambassador Spock is willing to grant him at least the gift of physical though, of pleasure. He feels hot hands on his back making their way to the waist of Jim’s trousers and slipping under the light material. Spock breaks their kiss moving off to Jim’s throat where he feels sharp teeth for an instant sinking in to his skin. He relaxes in to the sensations now coursing through him finally exactly where he wants to be.
The feeling of contentment is unfortunately short lived. One moment Jim is enjoying himself exploring the taste of the Vulcan the next he is on his back the Ambassador towering over him.
“This was not my intention James.”
He really doesn’t want to hear that.
“I know.”
Jim tries to move but Vulcan strength keeps him immobile. Spock is looking down at him with fascination. Not something he wants and since he can’t get away Jim turns away preferring to keep his illusions just a second longer.
“But I shall not turn away this gift you are offering me. I fear that I am not Vulcan enough to act logically in this case.”
For a moment Jim doesn’t understand as the Ambassador rises off of him releasing Jim’s arms. Then he feels the thin barrier of his pants disappearing and everything becomes a lot clearer. Spock’s body soon returns to its previous position and Jim welcomes it joyfully reveling in the sensation of his cock rubbing against that of the alien male. Spock’s skin scalds him where they touch. Hands and lips explore territory which is at once familiar and strange as their minds join again. Both minds and bodies coming together seem so natural now that all doubt has been set aside.
Consumed by need for more closeness Jim opens his legs wrapping them around narrow hips pulling the Vulcan closer needing the completeness which can only come from taking his lover inside himself. The Ambassador seems to understand Jim’s need releasing him again briefly only to reach for the bedside cabinet drawer. The small vile produced sends a fresh wave of arousal coursing through Jim. Raising his arms above his head he spreads his legs further raising his hips in welcome of the invasion that is about to come. Spock kneels beside him the vile open in his hand the other tracing Jim’s arm until their fingertips though again in a Vulcan kiss. Jim gasps as the presence in him mind intensifies.
“I will never harm you James.”
If he had any doubts those words would have taken them away. He smiles up at the Vulcan sure that his need, his want is clearly felt by his lover. Long oily fingers caress his thighs slowly slipping down to the brush against the tight muscle of Jim’s sphincter. First one finger then a second slowly push inside. Jim gasps at the feeling of much hotter then human fingers move inside him preparing him for something larger. There is something he should be remembering about Vulcan’s but the feelings coursing through his body make it so difficult to think. All that he knows is that he needs more of the Vulcan inside him.
“Spock…please!”
The fingers leave his body and Jim is ready to scream at the loss when Spock retakes his place between Jim’s legs again.
“Welcome me inside you!”
Jim can hardly think and yet he know that unless he fulfills the command he won’t get anything at all.
“Please come inside me…please!”
It seems begging is sufficient welcome because the next thing he feels is the Vulcan’s cock against his ass firmly pushing against his hole. He raises his hips needing more, faster, sooner. Spock growls above him and before he knows it the hands which have been caressing him gently are holding him down with more then human strength. Without the presence in his mind he would have struggled but in the sharing of minds he understands that there is nothing to fear. He is being claimed as were the warrior mate’s of old. If Spock wasn’t a Vulcan Jim would think the older male was teasing him. The head of the Vulcan’s cock finally breaches his ass completely and a xenology lesson suddenly comes back to Jim: Vulcan’s have double rigged cocks. Those ridges rub against his prostate as suddenly the Vulcan is all the way inside Jim’s body. He wraps his legs around the Vulcan’s waist again wanting to have as much contact as possible. He reaches out with most of his body and mind only keeping his arms where they are. The Ambassador is the one in control all Jim has to do is receive the gift he is being given. Each thrust of the alien cock sends sparks through Jim’s body and makes him want to scream.
His lips are caught in a savage kiss and Jim screams his pleasure in to it. With such intensity consuming him it doesn’t seem to matter that there are others in the house who might hear or barge in. Jim wants to howl his passion to the world. He arches his body in to the thrusts uncaring that he might have, probably will have, bruises in the morning. Jim will cherish the bruises for as long as they will remain on his body and morn their loss when they disappear. He hears the sheets tearing at his side and realizes that if those hands had been gripping his flesh he would be more then bruised. Another kiss takes the last thoughts from his mind, there is only the heat enveloping him, the pleasure coursing though his body and Spock’s presence taking possession of his mind.
Jim lets go of the last shreds of control fully giving himself over to the sensations. It feels like Spock and he are one being without end or beginning and all there is, is this moment in which they understand each other completely. Orgasm overtakes them exploding in both minds and bodies.
When Jim comes too his head is resting on the Ambassador’s chest, his body already aching from the exercise. All that he can bring himself to do is rub his cheek against the gray fur and shift his hand so that their fingers though again. Spock’s free hand comes up to rake through Jim’s hair.
“How are you James?”
How to answer such a simple question? Jim doesn’t think he can explain.
“I love you.”
He isn’t sure the Ambassador wants to hear that. But Jim needs to know that he has said those words if only just once.
“I am certain you shall be able to rest now.”
A lazy chuckle escapes Jim even if he’s being ignored again, or at least his declaration is. He shifts as much as his tired body allows him and closes his eyes. They will be staying at the colony for a while yet and maybe by the end of it he will know for sure where he stands. For now he can let it rest.
Who knows with a little more motivation he might actually get used to the heat.