The Real McCoy

Written for the STXI kink meme, prompt: "girl!Kirk thinks she's straight until she meets girl!McCoy on the shuttle. She's also pretty sure girl!McCoy is straight (ex-husband instead of ex-wife??) and decides to sleep with every single female on campus that looks remotely like Bones.

Bones totally knows what girl!Kirk is doing and decides enough is enough.

(basically, this kink meme needs more genderswap femslash!)"

I am so, so sorry about the title, but I couldn't resist.

---

Jane Kirk knows she's in trouble before she even leaves the shuttlecraft. Somewhere between the alcohol and the predictions of their imminent death, she realizes that Leah McCoy is very attractive. Her eyes are intense, intelligent and a little bit manic, and even through the panic attack she notices Jane's injuries.

Jane's mostly sober and she's really starting to feel the pain, and more importantly it distracts Leah enough that she almost forgets to be scared, so Jane lets Leah fuss over her. Anything to put off the moment where Leah really does throw up on her.

They go their separate ways when they disembark, only to meet again a few hours later when they're assigned to the same room. Neither of them should even be in the building, as it's normally reserved for upperclassmen, but this late in the semester there's nowhere else to put them.

If Leah was attractive with dark circles under her eyes and reeking of bourbon, she's gorgeous after a shower and ten hours of sleep.

They stay up late talking most nights. Leah goes out drinking with her and pulls her out of fights if she thinks Jane is in over her head - Jane's own opinion doesn't matter much there - and when Jane starts calling her Bones, she just shakes her head and doesn't argue. After a few weeks with Bones as her friend, Jane can't imagine life without her.

She's terrified that she's going to drive Bones away, because she can't keep her eyes off her. Jane knows that Bones is straight - her marriage may have blown up in her face, but the point is that at one point she liked the bastard well enough to marry him.

Jane likes men. Half of Iowa knows how much she likes men. She likes broad shoulders and facial hair and she likes the resulting stubble burn, and most importantly she likes cock.

Except now she apparently likes curves and long legs and the way Bones pins her hair back when she's working at the campus clinic, and the way it comes loose at the end of a long day. She decides it's just a phase, a result of meeting Bones at a really weird time in her life. She's not about to let it ruin the best friendship she's ever had.

Jane needs to get it out of her system, and that's how she finds herself in a bar eyeing a tall, leggy brunette. It's different, trying to pick up a woman instead of competing against her, but Jane's a fast learner and by the end of the night Anne invites Jane back to her room.

She must not be fast enough, because when things are really getting interesting Anne pulls back and asks "Is this your first time?"

"No!" Jane's slightly offended. It's been a long, long time since anyone seriously entertained the idea that she might be a virgin. Being with a woman is different, but surely she isn't that bad.

"First time with a woman?" Anne guesses again.

Jane admits that it is. Anne isn't put off. If anything, she gets more enthusiastic after that.


The next morning Jane goes back to their dorm room and raids Bones' closet. She's got a love bite on her thigh that her skirt won't cover. She doesn't care what people say about her, but she doesn't exactly want to advertise, either. Bones wears pants half the time, claiming that wearing heels and a skirt at the clinic is just asking for back problems. She's close enough to Jane's size that she only needs to roll up the ends of the legs a little.

Then Bones comes out of the bathroom. It's not the first time Jane's only just dragged herself home as Bones is leaving for her morning class, so she doesn't bat an eye at Jane's disheveled appearance. "Nice pants."

"I'll give them back," Jane says. "It's just that I've got this hickey that my professors don't need to see."

Bones rolls her eyes. "Fine, take them. Wash them before you return them."

"Yeah," Jane agrees, staring at Bones. Her hair is still wet and little streams of water are running down her neck and shoulders. She's only wearing a towel, and how does someone who's had a kid have a figure that nice?


So it's not out of her system yet. Anne doesn't really look all that much like Bones, anyway. She smiles too often and laughs too easily, and it's not satisfying like it is when Jane finally gets Bones to crack a smile.

Jane finds herself back at the bar a few days later. This time there's a woman who is shorter and curvier than Bones, but she has dark hair and she looks so annoyed, as if the world is deliberately trying to piss her off, that Jane buys her a drink.

Lisa doesn't do it either, so after that there's Bridget and Rosa and before she knows it Jane has earned a reputation at the Academy to rival her reputation back home.

Lucky for Jane, there are a lot of women with dark hair on campus.

This goes on long enough that Jane finally has to admit it's not a phase and it's not going to go away if she finally finds someone who looks enough like Bones.

It never occurs to her that Bones has noticed what she's doing. Not even when, after she's been putting away the bourbon all night, Bones asks her what she's going to do when she runs out of willing brunettes.

"Maybe it'll be out of my system by then, and I can go back to guys."

Jane is too drunk to register the look of disappointment on Bones' face.


Karyn has freckles, which is a little off-putting, but her eyes are almost the same color as Bones'. Jane is about to close the deal when a hand rests on her shoulder.

"Time to go," Bones says in her pissy, exasperated, Damn-it-Jane-why-do-I-put-up-with-you voice.

She probably wouldn't use it so much if she knew how much it turns Jane on.

She lets Bones drag her out of the bar, but she whines the whole way. "Bones, seriously, I'm not that drunk. You didn't have to do that."

"You're not drunk yet," Bones says, emphasizing the last word. "We need to talk, and I want you to be sober when we do." Bones lets go of Jane's arm, but they still walk close enough that their shoulders brush.

"Alright, we'll talk. What's so important?"

"You only sleep with women who look like me."

Jane stops walking and just stares at Bones, trying to think of something to say. Bones turns and looks at her. In this light her eyes are dark and unreadable.

"Sorry," Jane says and she looks away, over Bones' shoulder into the darkness. "I didn't think you'd notice."

"I have eyes, Jane, and you're not exactly subtle."

"I'm sorry," Jane says again. "It wasn't supposed to go on this long."

"What I want to know is how long you're going to go after substitutes when you could have the real thing."

Jane turns to stare at Bones. "You're straight," she protests shrilly. "You were married."

Bones rolls her eyes and mutters something that might be "For god's sake, Jane." She's not certain, because it's hard to focus on that when Bones grabs her shoulders and kisses her.

Jane wasn't expecting that, but it would be a shame if all her practice over the last two years was wasted.

She kisses back, but it's Bones who deepens the kiss, slipping her tongue in Jane's mouth. She tastes like the bourbon she must have been drinking earlier. Liquid courage, Jane thinks, and she giggles.

Bones breaks the kiss but doesn't pull away. "Is there something funny about this?"

"Not really." She kisses Bones again. Bourbon isn't Jane's drink of choice, but she kisses Bones deeply, trying to find every last bit of the smoky flavor.

Eventually they have to stop to breath. "Have I convinced you yet?"

"Um. Convinced?" All Jane can do is repeat her words blankly.

"You accused me of being straight. I'm showing you that I'm not. Keep up, Jane."

"Yeah, you've convinced me," Jane says. In her defense, Bones pulled her close when they kissed, and it's really hard to think when she's pressed up against her. "So if I had said something sooner, we could have done this a long time ago?"

Bones pulls away a little, frowning. "I was a mess when we first met, you know that. If you'd tried something then, or even a year ago, it would have gone badly."

"What changed?"

"I finally noticed what you were doing with all the women. It gave me a lot of things to think about." She starts walking again. Jane follows, and Bones slips her arm around Jane's waist like it's the most natural thing in the world.

They walk in silence for while, and then Bones says, "I can't watch you with other women anymore. If we're going to do this I have to know I'll be the only one."

Jane laughs. "If I'm with you I won't have a reason to run around anymore. I was only with so many women because none of them could match up to you."

"You're giving me a lot to live up to, kid. I hope I don't disappoint you," Bones says.

"I don't think you have to worry about that," Jane says. Not when their kisses earlier left her desperate, craving Bones' touch even more than usual.

They're walking fast and the bar is close to campus, but the trip back to the dorms has never seemed so long. She catches Bones glancing at her a lot. For the first time Jane recognizes Bones' unreadable look as desire. The realization that Bones wants her as much as she wants Bones gets Jane even more worked up, and she's kissing Bones again as soon as their door shuts behind them.

Bones gropes blindly to lock the door, and then she's finally touching Jane again. Her hand skims up Jane's side, stopping just below her breasts. She brushes her thumb against the bottom curve of her breast, a light, teasing touch that Jane can barely feel through her clothes.

"Bones, don't tease," Jane says, tugging at her shirt. She gets her hands underneath the shirt and pushes it up. Bones steps away long enough to pull the shirt off. Bones normally goes for sensible underwear, but her bra has lace trim. Jane realizes that Bones chose sexy underwear just for her, which is the hottest thing she's seen all day.

Bones cups Jane's breast in one hand, and her other hand pushes up Jane's skirt. "Better?"

"Much." She tries to unhook Bones' bra but Bones is tracing the outline of her nipple through her clothes and her coordination is shot.

Bones occasionally presses kisses along Jane's neck, but mostly she just watches Jane's face as she teases her nipple until it aches. Her other hand slides up further until she's cupping Jane's ass. When Bones turns her attention to her other breast, Jane steps back.

"Bones, come on," she says, and she's a little surprised at how desperate she sounds. She pulls her dress over her head and kicks off her boots.

Bones has patched Jane up after bar fights while hungover and while she was still drunk, and her hands were always steady as a rock. Now, though, she fumbles with her pants for a moment before she manages to slide them off.

Jane realizes that Bones is just as affected by this as she is, and it's enough to restore her confidence. She's the one with more experience in this, after all. This time she manages to get Bones' bra off as they back towards Jane's bed. She pushes Bones back and straddles her thighs.

Sharing a room with Bones for the better part of two years has given Jane a pretty good idea of what Bones looks like naked, but now she can look as much as she wants. Bones' lovely, dusky nipples are already taut. Jane leans forward and takes one in her mouth, and Bones lets out a wordless sigh.

Jane wants to hear Bones moan because of her. Bones is still trying to reciprocate, so Jane rakes her teeth across her nipple. Bones shudders and her hands fall to the bed, clutching the blanket.

Without lifting her head Jane mumbles, "Let me do this Bones. Let me make you feel good." She tugs at Bones' other nipple until it's as stiff as the one in her mouth and Bones makes a soft, delicious noise. Jane shifts, getting her knee between Bones' legs and giving her something to rub against. Bones is so wet her panties are soaked. Jane could probably make her come like this, but she wants to taste her.

She slips off Bones' panties, and Bones' breath hitches when Jane runs her finger along her sex. She kisses Bones' thigh and looks up at her. "This ok?"

"Yeah," Bones says, her voice hoarse.

Jane lowers her head again. She's heard some interesting metaphors for oral sex, but they're never really accurate. Bones just tastes like a woman, a little sweet, a little bitter.

She teases Bones, licking everywhere but her clit, trying to make her moan. Bones' breathing is heavy, but she doesn't get any louder, even when Jane sucks directly on her clit. After a few moment of this treatment she shakes and whimpers so quiet Jane almost misses it, which is all the sign Jane gets that she's coming. Jane keeps going until Bones relaxes and pushes her away.

Bones is normally so loud, complaining about anything that comes to mind. Jane wouldn't have guessed that she'd be quiet in bed.

She crawls up the bed to lie next to Bones. She rolls over and kisses Jane hard, which surprises her again. Bones can be neurotic about the strangest things, but apparently she doesn't care where Jane's mouth has just been. It's hot that she's willing to kiss her, but if Jane's being honest everything about Bones turns her on.

Bones' hands begin to wander, and she kisses Jane's collarbone before she pulls away. She runs her hands across the scars on Jane's side, a souvenir from the time she laid down her motorcycle, years before they ever met. She didn't get to a hospital in time to get it properly healed, and the scars go all the way down to her hip. Bones follows them down and traces where the road rash meets unscarred skin. Then she slides her hand across Jane's leg to her inner thigh.

"Use your hands," Jane says, arching into her touch.

"That hardly seems fair," Bones says, but she traces the edge of Jane's panties with a fingertip.

"Fuck being fair, you have beautiful hands. You have no idea how much I've fantasized about them."

Bones doesn't look entirely convinced, but she tugs at Jane's panties, and Jane lifts her hips so she can pull them off.

Finally being allowed to touch Bones has Jane wetter than any amount of kissing and petting could. Bones watches Jane's face as she skirts around her entrance before easing her fingers inside. At first she thinks Bones is hesitant, trying to make sure she's doing it right. Then she sees how dark Bones' eyes are and realizes Bones is getting off watching her reactions.

It makes her want to put on a show, to really give Bones something to stare at, except she doesn't have to act. Bones' hands are as amazing as Jane had imagined. Bones' long, elegant fingers fill her up while her thumb brushes against her clit. It's enough to drive her crazy even before Bones twists her fingers inside of her. Bones presses deep inside and Jane falls apart, mumbling Bones' name and begging her not to stop.

When Bones finally pulls away she moves to wipe her hand on the blanket. Jane catches her before she can and sucks on her fingers one by one. It's something she's wanted to do for a long time. She can taste herself, but more important is the look on Bones' face as she does it. She swirls her tongue across her knuckles and Bone's face flushes.

"You weren't kidding about my hands." Bones looks dazed and her accent is thicker than usual.

Jane reluctantly lets go of her hands, making a mental note to come back to them later. "I've got a lot of fantasies about you, Bones."

"Tell me about them," Bones says. "We've got a lot of time to make up for."