Shouldn't

Annnnd, more Flatliners. Because, really. These two are just TOO obvious. (and I love it.)
Playing with the infamous "Dave smashes truck window to get to Nelson when he really could have just gotten in easily through the back if he'd taken a second to think" scene.

Thank you for reading, please feel free to comment or c/c if you like or don't like :)
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Shouldn't

Nothing could have prepared me for the jolt of horror I felt when I looked through the windshield of my truck and saw Nelson in the back with one of my mountaineering axes pushing into his head. The panic that rushed through me made me move without thinking, catching up the rock I'd almost tripped over and smashing the driver's side window so I could get the damn door open, screaming his name. I scrambled through the canvas and into the back where he lay sprawled, lunging to grab the handle of the axe and yank it back, yelling at him, begging him to stop. His eyes were wild, disoriented. Panicking over where Billy Mahoney was as I tried to snap him out of it.

"There is no Billy Mahoney, it's just the two of us! We're all alone." I tugged on the axe gently, heart pounding from the adrenaline that still surged in my body. "Let it go."

He stared at me, lips parted and breath coming in short, sharp gasps, somehow entirely lost, hurt, and his fingers finally released the shaft of the axe. I fell back to rest on my heels, lowering the axe and staring at his face in agony. The bruises, the cuts... if Billy Mahoney could make him put a damn axe in his head, then these must all be self inflicted, too....

"God." He seemed to come to the same realization, staring at me in horror, drawing a shuddering breath. "Oh god."

I closed my eyes for a moment, still a little out of breath myself from the panic, and slowly set the axe aside. Then I leaned down, still kneeling over his thighs, taking his head in my hands carefully and trying to get an idea of the damage. "It doesn't look very nice, but it's shallow...." I trailed off, one hand still on his cheek, not really knowing what else to say. "Fuck. I thought I told you to honk the horn."

"Couldn't get there," he muttered, the haunted, frightened look not leaving his eyes. Impulsively, I helped him sit up, wrapping my arms tightly around him with a shudder.

"Scared the shit out of me, Nelson."

"Me too," he whispered, breath still coming soft and shallow, trembling arms slowly coming up to cling to me.

I didn't know quite it happened, or what I was thinking. I guess I wasn't, not really. Not about anything other than Nelson shuddering and hurt in my arms, and that I'd failed to keep him safe, should have never left him. "I'm sorry," I whispered, then caught his chin in my hand and kissed him.

Maybe it would have stopped there, with a breathless, trembling press of my lips to his. But he whimpered softly and surged forward, kissing me back, hard and a little desperate, gasping against my mouth. The effect it had on me was something I'd never expected. A surge of pure need rushed through me, and I returned his hard kiss with a low groan, moving my hand from his chin to wrap back around him, hold him closer, gasping against his mouth. Before I knew it I was tasting him, licking at his poor split lip, at his tongue and teeth, pushing him back under me, half onto a bag of harnesses. I didn't know if it was some attempt to properly apologize, if it was my fear, or if it was something else, but all I knew was that I needed to feel him, needed to make sure he was still real, still with me. And that kissing him and laying over him as he arched and whimpered under me was making me very, very hard.

We'd had the block heater blazing on the way up against the cold of the November wind we drove into, but it was getting chilly now from the gaps in the truck canvas. I shifted slightly to the side of him, grabbing one of the thick wool blankets that were folded in with my climbing gear and pulling it over us. Then I let my mouth roam, kissing his jaw, sucking hungrily at his neck as I pushed his t-shirt up around his armpits, stroking restlessly over the bare skin. He arched up into my touch, head falling back with a soft whimper, breath still coming in soft, quick gasps. I let myself suck at the crook of his neck, needing more, needing the reassurance of him, stroking splayed fingers down his stomach and cupping his erection through his scrubs.

"David - !" His hips jerked up against my hand, a shuddering groan escaping his throat, and before I knew it I was grinding against his hip, nipping at his neck, palming his cock through the thin cotton.

"Mr. Labraccio?"

"Shit." I cursed softly under my breath, pulling away and pushing the blanket back around him, climbing to stick my head out of the canvas window into the truck cab to answer the little girl that stood there. "Hey."

She looked up at me with curious brown eyes. "Mama wanted me to ask you if everything's okay....?"

I swallowed, hoping I didn't look as flustered as I felt. "Yeah, I just - my friend's not feeling well. We're leaving now, tell your mama I'm sorry."

"Okay." She shrugged, turning without question and heading back to the house.

"Dave...." Nelson's voice behind me, tentative, as I crawled through into the front seat.

"Nelson, stay there."

"But...."

"Stay there," I repeated firmly, starting up the truck and backing down the long drive much faster than I should, watching over my shoulder through the back window and trying to keep my eyes on the dirt road instead of the battered blond that sat beside the window, watching me with wide eyes. Just before I reached the highway I found what I'd been looking for, a small clearing in the trees big enough to angle the jeep into, out of site of the house and the road both. Then I shut off the ignition and crawled back into the back, catching his mouth again wordlessly, fingers slipping into his hair, careful of the bruises, holding him to the kisses, feeling the same helpless sense of desperation and need as before we'd been interrupted.

"Probably shouldn't be doing this," he whispered, and I kissed him harder, pulling him closer to me.

"Probably shouldn't," I whispered in agreement, then slipped my fingers back into his scrubs and shorts.

This time he returned it almost instantly, cupping my groin, tugging at my belt and yanking my pants open, kisses breathless and shivering against my mouth. "Don't let go, Dave. Please don't let me go."

"God, Nelson, I won't. I won't." I drew a sharp hiss against his mouth as his fingers slipped into my boxers, just a little cool as they curled around my erection. "Oh fuck..."

"Please," he whispered, gasping as I yanked at his scrubs and boxers to do the same. "Fuck, please David... " Lips moving, shuddering against mine as he spoke, eyes shut tight as mine were, pressing close. "Please, I need you."

"You're hurt..." the tiny bit of self control I had left appealed desperately to my medical training, but his fingers tightened just a little around me, stroking more firmly, driving all thoughts of sensibility quickly out of my mind.

"Please, David," a gasping, begging plea, as desperate as I felt. "Please, need to feel you...."

I pushed myself up on one arm, looking around quickly, spotting the bag that Joe had forgotten in the back of the truck the night of Rachel's experiment. I yanked it over to me, knowing he'd have to have _something_, digging through frantically until I found the small inside pocket that held more condoms than a normal man should ever need, along with individual packs of lube. Bingo.

He'd already pulled one of the plastic packages from my fingers, tearing it open with his teeth and rolling it on me as I knelt over him, groaning at the exquisite torture of his touch. Then I pulled his scrubs and shorts the rest of the way off and did the same to him, twisting the lube open and squeezing an ample amount on my fingers. I reached between his legs to coat the sensitive pucker of his opening, massaging, pressing two fingers into him carefully as he cried out and arched up against me, head thrown back and lips parted prettily, gasping. "Oh fuck, David. Please!"

Part of me still couldn't quite believe that this was happening - I hadn't done anything like this since pre-med, and hadn't even dared to wonder if Nelson would be into this - beautiful, cocky Nelson with his cheeky smile and his bright blue eyes. Nelson, who I wanted to protect and care for and keep his damn demons away, no matter how I had to do it. I had a brief moment of worry that I was taking advantage of him, but no - no one but a willing, yearning participant would be bucking up against my fingers like he was, gasping, begging for me to fuck him.

I didn't need convincing. It should have been awkward, pulling his legs up around me in the cramped back of my truck amidst my climbing equipment, but it wasn't. Maybe because I wanted it - wanted him so badly, shuddering as I buried my cock in his ass in a series of slow thrusts. Maybe it was because he was so damn beautiful, my battered blond angel, arms tight around my shoulders, tearing breathless kisses from my mouth. Maybe it was the way he shuddered and gasped my name as I filled him, crying out breathlessly as I thrust faster into him, blue eyes meeting mine, holding me helplessly with their need and intensity.

Whatever it was, it was perfect.

I let my forehead rest against his, too breathless now for kisses, gasping his name helplessly, bucking harder into that sweet, tight ass. I managed to get a hand between us to curl around his cock, letting my thrusts push him into my hand, and the way he gasped and whimpered, bucking helplessly against me only added to the heady shocks of sensation that sparked through me with each thrust. I couldn't get enough of him - stroking him firm and fast, fucking him harder, crying out in trembling gasps against his mouth as the pleasure surged and built, pulling me quickly close to climax. "Oh god, fuck, Nelson!"

His fingers bit into my back, almost deliciously painful, and he bucked up against me, body tensing with a choked whimper, then tightening, shuddering around me as he came. That was exquisite, feeling his pleasure, hearing it, and I bucked hard into him, the sensations pulling me helplessly to orgasm, crying out, shuddering and breathless against his mouth.

It took a few moments to come down from that, to catch my breath, for my mind to come back to reality. Somehow I had found enough sense to pull the wool blanket back over us, and it was comforting and warm over top of me as I curled around Nelson, pressing soft kisses to his face, careful of the cuts... "Oh shit, your ear...."

"'m okay," he muttered dazedly, but I shook my head, pulling away and sitting up to find the first aid kit. I dabbed at it carefully with a clean, folded bandage, wincing at the blood still seeping from the deep scrape, and pressed the bandage against it carefully, holding it firmly to him.

"Need to put pressure on this," I murmured softly, keeping my hand in place, searching his expression as he looked up at me, still looking rather overwhelmed. "You okay, Nelson?"

"I... yeah." A little wondering smile, fingers coming up to stroke through my hair slowly, wondering. "... wow."

I smiled, giving a little nod and curling up against him, pressing my lips to his forehead. "Yeah...."

His breath slowly calmed, fingers stroking small designs on my chest. Finally he spoke, voice soft, sorrowful. "I'm sorry about this," he whispered softly, head still lowered. "I thought... I thought you'd be fine, I didn't... you aren't Hurley. Didn't think there'd be anything bad for you, or I'd never have let you go under.... I'm so sorry, David...."

"Shhh...." I kissed his hair gently, tightening my arms around him a little. "Don't worry about it, okay? I think it's over for me. I really do. Just gotta worry about Joe and Rachel."

He stiffened a little at the mention of her name, a soft sign escaping his lips. "Yeah..."

I nuzzled his hair, trying to be soothing. "You see if you can help Joe figure this out. I'll talk to Rachel. There's nothing between us, Nelson. But she needs help."

"She likes you," he muttered, still not looking up at me.

"Well, I like you," I replied calmly, and he lifted his eyes to look at me, surprised and somehow hopeful.

"... really?"

"Of course," I replied, leaning in to kiss him again, soft and warm. I nuzzled his lips gently. "Let's go home, all right? Come up front with the blankets to keep warm."

"Dave..." He bit his lip, suddenly hesitant, unknown.

"Yeah?"

"Can you... can you stay with me tonight? I can't... I'm afraid he'll come back...."

I gave him a soft smile, nodding, leaning in to kiss him. "I will. I promise."


On the long drive back into the city, I couldn't help but watch him with a fond little smile, wrapped in blankets and sleeping soundly curled against the window. The cab was chilly from the broken drivers side window, enough that I had to wear gloves to keep my hands warm, but I didn't mind.

It was worth it.

~~~fin~~~