Choices

Captive Audience – Follow up. Written with Permission from Musashi
(Sorry for the length I may have gotten 'ahem' carried away).

Choices

It had been over a week since he’d seen her. Despite himself he was consciously dreading Sam and Mikaela’s visit to the base. Neither of them had spoken about what had happened and to his relief had even Ironhide remained uncharacteristically silent, although Optimus knew that one was simply a spark waiting to ignite. He could not keep avoiding his weapons master. Thankfully he’d had the excuse that he had actually been busy with political negotiations with the humans, but with the weekend fast approaching he knew he’d have to face them both sooner or later.

Sitting in his alt mode Optimus spotted Ratchet walking towards him.

“Optimus Sam and Mikaela have arrived. Optimus?”

Optimus didn’t reply, mentally berating his own ignorance, he just couldn’t bare to face her yet, he remained silent. Ratchet assuming he was in recharge strolled away towards the expectant Sam. Even in his alt mode Optimus could detect the look of disappointment on Sam’s face. Mikaela glanced up at him briefly before Sam ushered her away. Surprisingly she didn’t look angry, which was what he’d been expecting, it would have been understandable considering the circumstances. He cast his mind back to that fateful day, in that abandoned warehouse where Starscream and Barricade had left them.

He remembered her eyes staring up at him, pleading with him, trusting him. He remembered how the torn shirt fell around her soft warm body as she clutched it in an attempt to preserve her dignity. He shuddered slightly as he thought about what he’d done, the urge had been overwhelming, he couldn’t help himself after what he’d just seen, he was uncontrollably aroused and in spite of himself he felt disgusted at the same time. Deep down he’d known he didn’t want her that way, yet he’d allowed the desire to overcome his senses, he’d forced himself upon her with that one action, that one kiss. He trembled slightly at the memory of how warm and pleasurable her mouth had felt, how soft and wet it had been as he’d glided his glossa across her tongue. He recalled the faint sob she’d uttered, a strange sound. One of defeat intermingled with yearning and desire; he’d felt her heat seep through his hand, her body trembling. That one sound had forced him to his senses. He had heard Ironhide’s words repeating in his head. ‘Disgusting xeno fuck pervert.’

‘This is wrong.’ He recalled thinking in horror. He’d dragged himself away from her, shuttering his optics, he’d turned his head from her and had felt more shame than he’d ever experienced.

“I’m so… so sorry Mikaela.”
He’d whispered the words as his voice had failed him. She hadn’t responded immediately, and then he’d felt her warm hand reach out and gently caress his face plates. He’d recoiled from her touch, guilt, shame and disgust rising within him consuming any desire he’d had left. She had spoken his name softly, “Optimus…” as she had tried to get him to look at her. He could not, he’d placed her gently on the floor and had transformed.
“I will take you home.” He recalled saying. Mikaela had been angry, he could feel it radiating through his entire interior and she had slammed the door of his cabin viciously upon her return home.

They hadn’t spoken since that night, Optimus didn’t blame her for being angry, he’d never forgive himself for forcing her in any way, for losing control the way he had.

“You’re thinking about her aren’t you?”

A deep, gruff voice interrupted his thoughts. Ironhide was leaning against the wall adjacent to him, his optics shuttered. Optimus reeled at the unexpected interruption; he wasn’t ready to face Ironhide yet. How would he explain, should he even try? Remaining in his alt mode, his voice rumbled through his speakers.

“Ironhide please do not presume to know what I’m thinking. Even you maybe surprised.”

Ironhide grunted in derision. “Why have you been avoiding me then?” His tone was dangerously low, Optimus picked his words carefully.

“You know very well I’ve been off base the past couple of days Ironhide.”

“Like slag you have.” Ironhide was glaring at him now. “The negotiations only took a day, you were gone for two.”

“Checking up on me again I see.” Optimus kept his voice even and controlled, he could ill afford Ironhide blowing up in full view of everyone. Ironhide twitched; Optimus found himself admiring the smaller mech’s restraint as he moved toward him. Placing a slightly trembling fist on Optimus’s hood, Ironhide leaned in closely. Optimus could feel his anger raging like a storm beneath the surface.

“We… need to talk.”

“Ironhide, I don’t think that…”

“NOW!” He growled impatiently, through a clenched jaw.

Optimus transformed and took Ironhide a little by surprise as he glared at him fiercely. Holding his ground Ironhide continued.

“We go somewhere and talk now, or so help me…”

“Are you threatening me?!” Optimus towered over Ironhide but the black mech did not flinch, his anger fuelling him.

“Ahem!”

Both mech’s turned sharply to face the intruder into their heated discussion, Optimus’s optics widened in nervous shock. “Mikaela…”

“Is it all right if I speak with you Optimus?”

“Um… yes… of course…”

Ironhide did not move he simply glared at Optimus.

“Um… Alone, if possible.”

Optimus heard Ironhide snarl under his breath before storming off without a word to Mikaela. His voice sounded through his internal comm.

‘Desert when you’re done. I’ll be waiting.’ He replied calmly. ‘I’ll be there Ironhide, please try to calm down.’

‘CALM DOWN!? I’ll give you fragging cal…’

Optimus winced as he heard Ironhide’s canon’s shoot something at the distant firing range when he cut him off. He was not going to enjoy that conversation later.

Pinching the plates that bridged his nose, he sighed. Mikaela coughed slightly to remind him she was still there.

“Mikaela, you wanted to speak to me?” Optimus maintained as much formality as he could, the guilt washed over him in waves as he looked at her staring up at him. How could he have forced himself upon someone so small and delicate, what had he been thinking? She ducked her head from his gaze as he realised he’d been staring.

“Mikaela, I wanted to apologise again for what I did, um… I can understand you’re angry but…”

“Optimus, shut up.” He stared at her incredulously, she grinned as he helped her up so they could speak face to face.

“You have nothing to apologise for Optimus.”

“But I…”

“No! I know what it’s like to want something that badly. I was just… scared and overwhelmed by what had happened that’s all.”

“You were angry.” Optimus stated, confusion mixing with his guilt, clouding his shame. She smiled shyly this time.

“I’m sorry about that. I was confused. You… you pulled away from me… I felt… um… I felt like you were rejecting me.” She looked at him, Optimus was at a loss for words, all this time he’d been mentally beating himself over what had happened only to find that in actual fact she also desired him. He shook his head, willing the thoughts away

“But Mikaela, I forced myself on you, that’s unforgivable.”
She laughed lightly and leaned in, her voice teasing him. “Optimus it was just a kiss, it’s not like you actually forced me to have sex with you.” She ducked her head again and glanced up at him through her dark hair. “It was unexpected but… when you did, you’re so gentle with me, you’re not like any other guy that I’ve… I didn’t want you to stop.” Her face was filled with intent now as she eyed him curiously. Optimus drew back a little in an attempt to regain control of the sudden urges that filled his system. He lowered her gently to the ground.

“Mikaela, you’re a beautiful young woman, Sam is lucky to have you. I cannot in good conscience take this any further. I am sorry that I put you in that compromising position in the first place. It won’t happen again. I have a responsibility to my people Mikaela I hope you understand.” He fought against every fibre of his being urging him to take her on her implied offer; this wasn’t what he wanted, he would not give in to these base urges. Ironhide would probably rip out his spark if he even considered it and Optimus would probably let him; he did not want to alienate him more than he already had. She nodded slowly, “I do.” She kissed his cheek lightly and smiled. “I’m not giving up on you though.” She leaned and whispered in his ear finial. “I know you want me…” She winked playfully before leaving Optimus to his thoughts.

****
Optimus rolled gently out into the desert; it was dark for this time of day a storm was coming. Distracted by the encounter with Mikaela, Optimus lost track of how far he’d travelled from base all he could see was desert. Transforming he looked around, how far had Ironhide gone? It couldn’t be much further. He frowned in frustration, all this sneaking around, he was going to put a stop to it, he had to put Ironhide in his place before his rage threatened his authority amongst the other Autobots which would in turn cause them to descend into chaos, fighting amongst themselves.

‘We’d be no better than the Decepticons’ He thought idly to himself.

The storm front was coming in fast; he could hear thunder rolling in the distance, it would not be good for either of them to be stuck out here. He sighed heavily, he really didn’t have the time to be stood in the middle of the desert doing nothing, at that point he heard a faint click and whir from somewhere behind him, his optics widened in realisation and he launched himself to the ground just as Ironhide blew apart the cactus just a couple of feet in front of him, showering Optimus with the spattered remains of the now decimated plant. Optimus shot up angrily, he saw Ironhide peering over the edge of a sand dune.

“Damn I missed.” He heard him growl. Seething, Optimus stood and waited for Ironhide to join him. He strolled down the dune his canons still whirring idly, his face looking quite smug.

“So you finally tore yourself away from her?” Ironhide’s tone was almost a petulant one, he was goading him and Optimus knew it. Shuttering his optics briefly, he pinched the plates on his nose.

“Alright Ironhide, let’s have it out, right now.”

Ironhide shrugged, “If you insist…Prime.” Optimus tensed at the emphasis on his title, Ironhide was not going to make this simple.

“What exactly is your problem with me?”

Ironhide sniggered, “No.”

“What?”

“This isn’t how it works Optimus.” Ironhide’s voice was strangely calm, the storm above them rolled ever closer. “You see, I explained myself remember. Now it’s your turn.”

“Is this some kind of game for you Ironhide?!” Optimus was angry. Without warning, Ironhide’s fist came out of no where and slammed him square in the face plates, without his battle mask up Optimus felt the full force of his punch, caught by surprise he lost his balance and landed heavily on the hard baked ground. Ironhide was standing over him, dazed, Optimus struggled to focus as Ironhide gripped the collar of his armour and wrenched him up, and his arm recoiled ready for another strike.

“Game?! How can you say that?!” His optics were dark with anger. “Do I look like I am enjoying myself to you?!”

Optimus raised his arm in defence of the next strike, he managed to catch Ironhide’s arm and twist it viciously wrenching his shoulder. Pulling him down Optimus aimed a kick for Ironhide’s leg and took him down in one sweeping motion, pinning him to the ground with his elbow joint lodged sharply into Ironhide’s throat.

“Why are you doing this Ironhide!?”

“I… ack… tried to tell you before… but you…urrgghh… had to rush off to satisfy your perverse… desires…”

Optimus was shocked and saddened at the accusation, he pulled away from Ironhide slightly all the while still pinning his arms to the floor.

“Ironhide…do you trust me… at all?”

Ironhide looked offended at the question. “You’re Prime.”

Optimus hung his head and released him, Ironhide jolted up sharply.

“That’s not what I asked Ironhide.”

“Explain it to me then.”

Optimus smiled thinly. “She really did just want to talk Ironhide.” Ironhide grunted distastefully. Optimus frowned and lowered his head shaking it slightly.

“I nearly got her killed.” He spoke softly, Ironhide’s optics widened at the unexpected response.

“How’d you…?”

“Barricade and Starscream, ran me off the road. I couldn’t transform with Mikaela in the cabin, they railroaded us to an abandoned warehouse and held us captive. I couldn’t do anything; they could have killed her…” Optimus felt the guilt and pressure weighing down on him. He did not glance up to see Ironhide’s expression.

Ironhide’s jaw dropped open. The audacity of those damned Decepticons to capture Prime. What worried him more was the fact that they’d succeeded. The knowledge hit home, hard.

“WHAT?! I AM GOING FRAGGING KILL THEM!”

Optimus was stunned at the outburst, Ironhide was standing again. In an attempt to calm him Optimus grabbed his shoulders.

“Ironhide, they let us go.”

“You could have been fragging off-lined and we wouldn’t have even had a clue. This is my fault for getting so angry and distracted and not doing my job. It’s your DAMN FAULT for letting that girl get into your head!” Ironhide was fuming and surprisingly panicky, the thought that they could have lost their leader and not have been aware really shook him.

“IRONHIDE!” Optimus snapped loudly. Ironhide stopped in mid-rant, glaring at Optimus. “They let us go.”

“Why?” He frowned and backed away slightly. “Why did they even kidnap you, how did they know where to find you?”

Optimus blinked, his mind split into two as to whether he should tell Ironhide the truth. His systems were in over drive; this situation was going to be the death of him.

“They were waiting for me. They had been watching Mikaela and took the opportunity to strike.”

“Why?”

Optimus turned away as the first drops of rain spattered onto their metal bodies.

“Optimus?”

“They wanted to… they wanted me to…force Mikaela to…” Optimus couldn’t get the words out, what they had wanted had disgusted him to the point where it left a bad taste just to say it. “They threatened to kill her if I…”

“If you what?”

“If I didn’t.” Optimus’s voice was a whisper, the shame creeping back into his circuits. He felt an incredible force slam him to the ground violently. Ironhide was on top of his back, restraining him. This was becoming an oddly frequent occurrence, Optimus thought absently before Ironhide gripped his ear finial and pulled it up, sending shooting pains across Optimus’s helm, a pain that wasn’t entirely unpleasant. He gasped as Ironhide gripped tighter and leaned in close.

“Tell me you didn’t…”

“They were going to force her themselves if I didn’t at least kiss her!” Ironhide gripped even tighter in response to his words causing him to let out a whimper of pain. “I didn’t go any further, Ironhide… I didn’t.” Optimus’s voice was slightly higher pitched due to the pain. Ironhide released him letting his face fall into the now muddy ground. The rain was heavy now, pelting them both and thunder boomed loudly above them.

“Well, that’s something at least.” He replied quietly. “Why did they let you go?”

“Could you get off me?”

“No. Not until you tell me why they let you go.”

Optimus winced as Ironhide pushed him to the ground using all of his weight.

“They realised they couldn’t force me to, that I wouldn’t force myself on her…”

“That’s it?” Ironhide was dubious, it all seemed too easy. “I don’t believe you, what are you not telling me?”

“Ironhide!”

“Explain it to me!!”

“They told her she’d have to order me to take her, ok! Is that what you want to hear?!” Optimus felt once again, humiliated and frustrated. This had been one surreal week. His optics blurred as the muddy rain splashed into his face. He felt the weight on him lessen, he twisted slightly before pushing himself to a sitting position facing Ironhide, who was, amused!

Ironhide was in fact chuckling to himself. Baffled Optimus took the bait.

“Why are you laughing? It was not an amusing situation.”

“No… I’m sure it was most unpleasant.” Ironhide was still chuckling. “It sure explains a lot though.”

“Excuse me?”

“They left you alone because you won’t force yourself on anyone. You’re a bottom.”

“I beg your pardon!”

A strange look came over Ironhide’s optics, he smirked slightly.

“Tell me something Optimus. Apart from your initial and forced slips… do you still desire to fuck humans, Mikaela in particular?”

“Ironhide!”

“Do you?!”

“No! I don’t. I don’t think I ever really did…”

Ironhide’s grin widened. “Good enough.”

Optimus frowned, “Good enough for what? What are you going on about Ironhide?”

With one swift aggressive move, Optimus found himself straddled by Ironhide who managed to grab his wrists and pin them either side of his head. He squirmed; this was starting to get tiresome.

“Ironhide, release me, I told you what you wanted. I explained myself; your precious Prime’s dignity is still intact. You still have your perfect leader.” He growled sardonically at the words. “Now stop this, it’s gone too far already!”

“Has it?” Ironhide almost purred the words, Optimus got the sudden sensation of heat flowing from Ironhide’s frame spreading to him, blocking out the wet, cold sensation of the rain drenching them. His optics met Ironhide’s, it only took him a moment to realise what Ironhide was hinting at. He was completely restrained and couldn’t resist even if he wanted to. Ironhide could feel the heat building; he knew what he wanted; now he was going to make Optimus want the same.

Without any further hesitation he kissed him fiercely, hearing his leader groan beneath him, was more arousing than he had expected. He pulled back. His optics narrowed. Optimus was stunned.

“Ironhide… too far…” He breathed. Ironhide smirked as he felt the heat emanating from his body, betraying his words.

“Not far enough.”

He growled his body filling with desire. He was decidedly not gentle and releasing one of his arms gripped Optimus’s ear finial pulling it back, causing Optimus to gasp in pain arching his neck. Ironhide took advantage and his teeth closed on the sensitive wiring in his neck, pinching it. A strangled moan sounded in Optimus’s throat and his arm reached up and pushed him up slightly. Their optics met, Ironhide could see the untold turmoil crossing Optimus’s mind. Taking control he released his other hand and flipped open Optimus’s interface port and grabbed his module firmly. Gripping tightly he tugged and sat up forcing Optimus to follow him. Every limb tensed at each tug, his breathing had become shallow and his systems had switched to overdrive. Ironhide could hear them straining with the building heat. He tugged further until he’d forced him to stand facing him.

“Too far?” His words were playful, teasing. He knew Optimus wouldn’t continue if he gave any indication that it was unwanted, but he also could feel how much Optimus now wanted it. Optimus stared at him unsure of how to respond to his question. Ironhide was impressed, the Decepticons were right; he was completely submissive in this state. He watched him shudder as he gripped more firmly on his interface module. Pulling him closer. “You want this?”
Optimus shuttered his optics tightly and then stared at him, his face filled with intent and lust.

“Yes.”

Ironhide pulled harder this time deliberately causing pain. He watched the grimace flicker over Optimus’s face to be replaced by a look of yearning, the desire was delicious.

“Then take it.” He growled. There was no sound apart from the rain pattering their armour and the thunder rattling across the sky, following a brilliant flash of lightening. Optimus stared at him intently for what seemed like an age. Before a growl sounded deep in his gut then he bodily launched himself onto Ironhide, they landed in the mud with a grunt. His leader’s fingers were all over his armour, under it gripping, tearing at him aggressively. Roughly Optimus had flicked open Ironhide’s own port and was sending the most pleasant shivers of excitement intermingled with pain through Ironhide’s circuits. He grabbed his own module and thrust deeply, causing Ironhide to arch his back, his fingers scraping across the yellow stone on the ground. He cried out grabbing the larger mech roughly, almost wrestling him to the ground. He thrust in turn, relishing the groan from Optimus as he writhed beneath him. His fingers finding purchase on his shoulders, his grip was so tight Ironhide felt his plating buckle as he pulsed hard, his systems overheating extensively. He dug his fingers into the ground as Optimus’s pulses over whelmed him.

This was not like the last time, the time he’d forced him to. This was an Optimus no longer in control, no longer restrained. He had completely submitted to him, it was exhilarating. He felt Optimus stiffen and cry out softly as his systems overloaded, pushing him to his own overload. His vision blurred and then went black.

Ironhide off-lined and collapsed beside him; Optimus struggled to keep his systems online his overload burning through him. He lay motionless staring at the storm raging overhead. His mind was racing with a multitude of thoughts. He’d wanted this with Ironhide ever since that night he’d forced it upon him, however twisted, Optimus had rarely not been the one in control and for one of his own to stand up to him in such a way had been all at once arousing, disconcerting and exhilarating; it was a logical choice really. He was the most aggressive, dominant mech, compared to his own naturally passive demeanour.

He glanced down at the black mech, would he regret letting him in, being so submissive with him, so vulnerable? He allowed his fingers to gently, trace the line of Ironhide’s arm that was strewn across his chest before resting his hand on his. He shuttered his optics, remembering Mikaela’s last words to him.

‘I know you want me…’

Optimus had a feeling things were about to get a whole lot more complicated.