Communication

(AN: a kind of cute/fun one chapter story to continue Radio Silence. Oh, raunchier het/xeno is a-comin', but this is just because I love Cade's snark. The events he refers to (the xeno-argument with Starscream) are from "Beg for It" which is one of my perviest yet strangely favorites).

*****
The comm node buzzed almost the minute Jennifer closed the door to her dorm room. Starscream, she thought. Her heart skipped a beat, and then stopped. She should feel…sick, or silly or at least weird that she’d get excited like a middle-schooler with her first call from a boy. She raced to the node, dropping her bag and tripping over her sneakers in her haste.

“Starscream?” she asked, eagerly.

“Not quite.” She could hear the sardonic grin in the voice over the transmission.

“Barricade? What are you doing?”

“Monitor duty. Bored back to sparkling. Just thought I’d check up with you.”

“You’re calling because you’re bored?” This sounded ridiculous. Weren’t they like…fighting a war or something?

“And you seem…not boring.”

She pursed her lips, even though the comm could only pick up audio. “How’s Starscream?”

A pause. “Right now, in deep forced-recharge. None of Ironhide’s injuries alone was all that severe, but all at once and compounded by the…uh, you know….. It adds up in very bad math.”

She felt her stomach flip over. “He’s going to be okay, isn’t he? You told me he would be okay?” She couldn’t keep the blame from her voice.

“He’ll be fine. Takes a while. Wants you to know that.”

“He knows you’re calling me?” She felt a little better.

A laugh. “Not exactly. Just kept saying he wants you to know he’ll recover. He’s kind of out of it even when he’s not technically ‘out of it’. Close enough, though.”

The callousness of the second part irritated her. She filed away the image of the jet mumbling incoherently for later. She’d probably have a good cry. But not while Barricade was still on the line. “What do you want?” Starscream had told her he didn’t trust the smaller bot with her. Had made her call on her return, listened to her report—not much had happened—she didn’t want to worry him—through obviously grated teeth.

“Just to talk.”

She set her mouth. “Talk about what?”

“Well, let’s see. The baseline is…anything more interesting than eight simultaneous video feeds of…nothing. That leaves it pretty wide open.”

“I want to talk about why you want to talk to me.”

Another laugh. “Exceeding expectations already, honey.”

“Stop calling me that.”

“What if I don’t?” he mocked.

“I’ll—I’ll hang up.”

“Buzz you right back. Have the priority overrides right here.” She didn’t doubt for a minute that he’d do it.

“Fine,” she gave in. “Why do you want to talk to me? I’ll keep asking until either you answer or you get so bored those monitors start looking pretty good.”

“Playing hardball, are we? You interest me. Also interested in what about you interests the jet.”

“I’m the only human he really knows.”

“More than that. I like my xeno plenty, but he’s got something more than that for you.”

Jealous, she thought. But something that might have been halfway between a gasp and a hiccup burst out. Change the subject, now, her mind yelled. She squirmed on the bed—noticed that she’d sprawled herself across it lazily, her legs crisscrossing in the air. Just like any teenager chatting with her friends.

Only Barricade wasn’t her friend.

“Tell me about your xeno.”

“Boring. Already know all about her.”

“Well,” she huffed, feeling sorry for this other woman, and then thought, well, if she’s crazy enough to put up with this jerk in the first place…. “that sounds awfully rude.”

“Oh, not like that, honey,” he drawled, enjoying the endearment. “June’s gorgeous and she drives me crazy in all the right ways. And she puts up with me. That’s a lot right there.” Jennifer didn’t doubt it. “Don’t have to be fake with her. But I’m bored and talking about June would just make me bored and frustrated that I have to be here and she is—not here.”

Probably as close as he came to sweet. It actually kind of worked. She couldn’t see him doing or saying any of the weirdly dopey sweet things the jet had said to her. Probably never apologized to June. Why should he? She bet he thought he never did anything wrong.

“Okay, tell me about Starscream.”

“Tell me what you want to know and why you want to know it, and I will. Otherwise, see above. Already know that. Boring.”

“You trying to have a conversation or make a deal?”

“Any reason I can’t do both?”

She sighed, frustrated. “Fine. Okay, you said you’ve…you know….”

She could hear the grin. “Fucked him?” he taunted.

“Yes, fine. If you’re so big on being vulgar.”

“See it more as…not flowering things up unnecessarily. Doesn’t mean it wasn’t any good.”

Ahem! “Okay, so, whatever,” she forced her jealousy down. What was going on? None of her business anyway, and could she really be jealous of this jerk?

But why had Starscream…to begin with…?

“Okay so you fucked him. Why?”

“Uh-uh. Why do you want to know?” he taunted.

She froze, color creeping up her face. “Uh, never mind.”

He laughed. “Now, I really want to know. How ‘bout this: I’ll tell you all about him and then you tell me if it’s what you wanted to hear.” He sounded like he really just wanted to gossip. Jennifer suddenly thought how lonely it might be up there. Starscream hadn’t ever mentioned any friends. Maybe Barricade was lonely, too?

“Okay,” she said, feeling a little sorry for the bot. He had, after all, rescued Starscream. He couldn’t be all bad.

“You really want to hear this?” he goaded.

“You offered—don’t chicken out now.”

Another laugh. Well, he was certainly amused today. “Great. Well. Actually, it was over xenos. Not a real one, but the whole idea. Don’t think you know, but he thought the idea was pretty disgusting.”

“Really?” Considering what had just happened to him, that sounded a little scary. Apparently robots didn’t agree to disagree well. And she remembered suddenly how easily the jet had spoken of hurting other robots—how it was necessary. “What did he do?” she finally asked. “I mean, did he hurt you?”

For some reason Barricade found this hilarious. “No,” he finally gasped between laughs. “Actually he did start it. I mean, brought the subject up.”

“And?”

“I—well, I finished the discussion. Let’s put it that way.”

She wasn’t following. “So…where does the sex come in?” She wasn’t entirely sure she wanted to know.

“I can be very convincing that way,” he said, coyly.

“What kind of weirdos are you people? You’re arguing and then suddenly you’re screwing each other?”

“Yeah, that pretty much describes what happened.” Another laugh. “Upsetting you, honey?”

“Just how much sex do you people get up there?” What were they—giant pervs?

“Let’s see, we’re on a confined spaceship for megacycles at a time with nothing to do….” A pause. “Actually, I don’t get that much. The jet, on the other hand….”

“No way. I’m not falling for this. You’re trying to convince me he’s a giant whore and you’re Mr Celibacy?”

“You could break my celibacy reputation, and my monogamy, you know,” She felt slightly nauseated. She wouldn’t have sex with him if he were the last robot on earth. “But yeah, with the jet. He gets a lot. Doesn’t start any of it, and might not even want half of it.”

She shook her head, eyes closed. This was…weird. And horrible sounding. “Is that normal?”

“For him, yeah. All you have to do is throw him up against a wall and he’ll do whatever you want.”

“Is that how you…?”

“More or less. Oh, don’t worry. I made sure he enjoyed himself.”

No. No no no. She was not going to get jealous of this idiot robot fucking her idiot robot. She’d kill them both. Her voice got hard. “So you’ve forced him too, huh? Don’t you think he’s had enough of that?”

A silence. Ha! she thought. Got him for a change. “It….it was different.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes, slag it, I’m sure.”

She was about to prod him about that when she heard a knock at the door. “Shit,” she said. She disconnected the comm and opened the door. One of her freshmen stood there, nervously.

“Uhh, Jennifer. We’ve got a problem in my suite.” One of the girls from the fourth suite down.

“What’s up?”

“Uh,” the freshman looked around Jennifer’s room nervously, her hands twisting at a strand of her blonde hair. “It’s the bathroom,” she finally whispered.

“Right.” Jennifer turned to her RA manual. “I’ll call it in, but you need to fill out a form. Which is…, wait, let me find it.” She dug into another pile.

“Who’s our new friend?” Barricade’s voice again. But she’d shut it off…? Oh, the bastard had probably used his damn override.

The girl jumped, looking around. “Who is that?”

“Friend of hers,” Barricade said. Oh, his voice was all sugar now.

Jennifer pointed to the node. “It’s a phone,” she said. “he’s not really here.” Thank god. That would be even worse. Good: keep in mind that things could be worse—that might make this not seem so bad. Still, if the kid couldn’t even manage to say ‘toilet’—which Jennifer had no doubt the problem was—she’d probably die at the idea of giant alien robots. Much less sex.

“Cool phone,” the girl said, sidling closer.

“It was a present,” Barricade said. “From her boyfriend.” Jennifer had a bad feeling about this.

“Oh, are you her boyfriend? This is a cool phone.” Jennifer hoped the girl wouldn’t try to touch it. She didn’t know what half the buttons did herself.

A laugh that made Jennifer’s heart sink. “No, I’m not her boyfriend. I’m more…her boyfriend’s boyfriend.” Oh god no.

“Her…uhh?”

“It’s a cultural thing,” Jennifer said quickly. “He doesn’t mean it like that.” For a moment she wished the node had video so Barricade could see the Look of Death on her face. Dammit, where was this form she needed the girl to fill out? She ripped open a drawer.

“So do you have a girlfriend, then?” the freshman asked, innocently. Probably just trying to make conversation.

“I do.” Jennifer seethed, hearing Barricade echo Starscream’s oddly accented verbs. “Now all I have to do is have sex with Jennifer, and the cycle is complete.”

She fell on her ass, hard. Oh. My. God. She was going to kill him. She had no idea how, but she would manage it. “It’s a joke,” she said, to the appalled freshman who had gone entirely white under her summer tan. “Not a very funny one.”

“No it wasn’t.” Barricade’s smirk carried over the comm.

“Yes,” she hissed through her teeth, “it was.” Maybe she should have told Starscream about the hug Barricade had given her. It had seemed, in the context, to be decent. She was crying and upset, and he put his arms around her. But maybe…. No, she hadn’t wanted to bother the jet, especially hearing how weak he sounded. The flight back to his ship had apparently taken a lot out of him. She could handle Barricade. She would. Finally, she found the damn form. Too late, of course—the damage was done. At the very least, she’d get a reputation as the RA with the weirdball kinky friends. Oh well, she gritted her teeth and told herself, it could be worse.

“Ignore him,” she said, handing the form over to the freshman. “He’s an idiot.”

“Hey, new human,” he said. “Are you pretty?”

Jennifer lunged over, and slapped the comm off. “Really. He’s just being a jerk. Just fill that form out and take it down to the front desk. I’ll call it in.” She hoped her pile of words prevented the girl from noticing Barricade’s slip. He’d said, ‘human.’

“Yeah, okay.” The girl clutched the form and dashed off.

“I was just having some fun,” Barricade said. “You’re too sensitive.”

“Would you stop comm’ing me?”

“Oh, come on. I’m bored. And you’re fun.”

“This is not fun. I could lose my job.”

“You won’t. They really get that upset about who your friends are?”

“Uh, who do you think my ‘friends’ are? Giant, murderous alien robots? You think that’s an employment asset?”

A pause. “Yeah, actually. Impressive credentials.”

“Oh you are impossible!”

“That’s what June says.”

“It’s not a compliment.”

“I know. So. What else you want to know about the jet?”

“I want to know,” she said, hotly, “why you think it’s okay to fucking rape him all the time.”

“I don’t. But he wants it or he’d at least say no, right? Not to mention, surely you’ve noticed the size difference? You want me to run down the armament specs to clue you in how easily he could slag me if he wanted to? He doesn’t. Besides, he needs it.”

“No one needs that.”

A sigh. The humor gone from his voice. “He does. It’s like this: he’d never start anything. And we actually need to do it—you know, cycle out the energon. I can explain the mechanics of it if you like, but it’s….boring.”

“Whatever.” God forbid he be bored when he could just disgust her.

“Look, he’d never ask anyone else. And besides, it’s the only real self esteem he gets. Think about it—surely there’s some kind of power in knowing that everyone you know wants to fuck you.”

“Well,” she said, “Aren’t you all just so damn considerate.”

“ I won’t deny that there’s something kind of…exciting about having someone his size just quivering with desire up against a wall. You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?”

“I really don’t want to talk about it. And it doesn’t justify raping him.”

“It’s not rape. We have that too—you’ve seen it. There’s a difference.” She snorted her disbelief. “You’re gonna have to trust me on this.”

“Right. Like I trust you?”

“Trusted me with your life, sweetie. And I didn’t hurt you.”

“Went a little far then, too.”

“What? Oh, that? You were upset. And yeah, I took the opportunity to compare. Do a little exploration as to how you’re different from June.”

“Jennifer human,” a new voice cut across the comm. “Did he touch you? And you did not tell me?”

She jumped. She imagined, or wanted to imagine, Barricade doing the same. She hoped he felt bad.

Barricade recovered first. “How long have you been listening?”

“It would be unwise for me to inform you so that you may conceive of a plausible story, Barricade. Suffice it to say, a while. Now, where did you touch my xeno?”

“It wasn’t like that,” Jennifer blurted. “I was crying and he was trying to, you know, make me feel better.”

“Make you feel better…how?” The jet’s voice got quiet and dark.

“Not that way.” No laughter in Barricade’s voice this time. “I promised you. You know that. I don’t break my promises.”

“It would be unadvisable for you to start now. Jennifer, where did he touch you?”

“He was just like hugging me, and then he just,…with his hands…” Oh this sounded much worse than it was. “He stopped when I asked him to.”

“I just kind of…felt her up a little. Research purposes.”

“I have a few things I should like to research with you later, Barricade,” the jet said, coolly, “but you shall not have the honor of being the first thing my new module touches.”

Barricade’s voice was suddenly small. Part of Jennifer’s brain felt a grim satisfaction—‘bout time someone took some of the stuffing out of him—but part of her felt kind of sorry at the meek tone in his voice. “You know it will hurt.”

“I will not do that. Not for this. However, if you do anything inappropriate with my xeno again, I will not hesitate.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Yes, you did. Barricade, for how long have I known you? You do not do anything without some secondary purpose. But I am too tired to deal with that right now.”

“How—how are you feeling?” Jennifer felt pathetic.

“I am recovering. The return flight drained resources that might otherwise have gone to self-repair, so repairs are more extensive than one might have hoped. I am forced to spend several cycles a local solar in deep recharge.”

“Does it hurt?”

“I am under considerable sensor block. Otherwise I would not be having this conversation with Barricade over comm.”

“Starscream,” the smaller bot said. Jennifer could hear him planning some explanation.

“I would appreciate, incidentally, that my proclivities cease to be a matter of public discussion. Else we shall see who throws whom against a wall and what follows from that.”

She felt guilty. She’d kind of brought it up. And how much had he heard? “I’m sorry.”

“I do not require your apology, Jennifer human. Though I may require some amends. Later.” It wasn’t much of a joke, but it was a start. “But anything you desire to know about me, I would prefer if you asked of me.”

“Yes.” What else could she say?

“And Barricade? I hope you are no longer bored.”