Facing Fear

Notes: Ok, so I know this is the most obscure movie EVER (let alone fandom), but I think I have to accept that it's my lot in life to write slash for tiny Kiefer Sutherland movies that no one else cares about.

Um, if anyone actually reads this, can you drop me a quick comment and let me know? ^^;;
Hugs and enjoy~~
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Facing Fear


I'd been working in California for five years, the first time I saw Kevin. Or rather, thought I saw him. We did a lot of group meetings, at the clinic where I worked focusing on alcoholism. Open group therapy sessions where people could come and go without putting a name to paper. It was easier for a lot of the patients, that way. There were a lot of people that night, and every inch of my awareness was concentrated on reading the situation, on sensing the patients in attendance. It could get so volatile so easily, just if one person said one wrong thing. It was exhausting, honestly... and I hated it. But what else could I do?

When things were over, when people were leaving, I thought I saw him. Saw dirty blonde hair and blue eyes behind large glasses, and those beautiful full lips. But when I blinked he was gone, and I convinced myself that I'd imagined the whole thing. Product of a wishful, lonely mind.

Two weeks later, he was back again. I knew it was him, this time. I could recognize him clearly, even in the back of the room. But he didn't make any move to join in the discussion, and he disappeared five minutes before the end, long before I could catch him.

I started watching for him after that, but I didn't see him for a month, and I began to grow concerned. I even tried to get ahold of Jenny, the case worker who had brought him out of insanity, but the number I had for her was out of service, and the clinic where we worked together was less than helpful when it came to trying to track her down. My little Mother Theresa had disappeared. Finally, I had to admit to myself that all I could do was sit back and wait. Kevin would come to me on his own time, if at all. It's how things always were with Kevin.

When he finally showed his face, it was just as unexpected as when I'd seen him at the meeting. I had a councelling session scheduled with yet another Mr. John Doe, and yet when I opened the door to my office, the nameless man was him. I think I must have froze, because after a moment he stood, looking a little concerned, and took a tentative step toward me. "Jeff?"

"Kevin." I smiled, remembering how to move, shutting the door behind me. "It's been a long time. You're not here for alcoholism counselling, are you?"

"No," he said softly, looking down. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean - to lie or anything. I just... I wasn't sure how to talk to you. I wanted to see you."

"Lets go for lunch," I suggested. "I'll make sure you aren't billed for this. I'd love to catch up with you."

"Can we stay here?" He said softly, and there was so much nervousness in his eyes that I couldn't say no. We sat on either end of the couch and talked - about California, about the clinic. About his rehabilitation, that he was going to art school here, living on res, and only had to check in with his counsellor twice a week. "Jenny helped me want to be well," he said softly, arms half folded across his chest. "She helped me realize all the things I could do if I were well. But I miss her. Do you miss Jenny, Jeff?"

"Often," I said softly, and it was true. Her charm and tenacity had been a breath of fresh air in a place where too many people gave up too easily. And we had been close friends... I'd opened up to her, trusted her more than I had anyone in a very long time. She inspired it. I'd trusted her with everything but one very important thing about myself... but that had ended up being the thing that ended it. "She was something special."

"Yes," he agreed softly, looking out the window for a moment. "I think a lot about our days together, you and me and her. Sometimes when they play music, I just sit back and close my eyes and remember the time you danced with Jenny to the Blue Danube. I found a tape with it, last year. For weeks and weeks I listened to it every night before bed, just so I could close my eyes and see your face again. Do you remember when you danced with Jenny?"

"I do," I said softly, biting my tongue on the other memories of that night. His face, how excited he'd been. How happy he'd been, dancing on his own to the music. How much I wished I could dance with him as well.

"That was a good day," he said softly, and gave a little sigh. He watched me with such agony as he did it, and I couldn't understand it. I just wished I could take it away.

"Kevin? Are you all right?

He gave a little nod, at once both nervous and dismissive. He stood. "I need to go, Jeff. I have class."

I nodded, wishing it wasn't the case. "Will you come see me again? Just let me know when and I'll make sure I have time."

"I have to go," he repeated again, as if he hadn't heard the question, so all I could do was show him to the door and let him out.

~~~~

He came back a week later, showing up the same way, unannounced in my office on my couch. I'd made sure the clinic hadn't billed him for last time, but it still concerned me that he felt the need to meet me this way, rather than just contacting me as a friend. I tried to ask him why, but he was evasive, and the underlying tone indicated he wasn't quite sure if we were friends at all. So instead we talked about normal things again. California. School. "I have friends at school," he told me. "Some of them are like me - people who used to be crazy. But some of them are normal. Like every day people."

"I'm happy to hear that," I said truthfully, perching carefully on the other end of the couch.

"I have friends," he said again, suddenly switching tracks, "But I keep thinking about you. I couldn't stop myself from coming to see you. And I needed to ask you...." he stopped suddenly and turned away, agonized.

"Go ahead, Kevin," I said softly, watching him carefully. "Ask me anything you need."

"Why didn't you say goodbye?" He whispered, suddenly almost overwhelmed with sorrow, expression in agony. He was still so expressive, even now. So beautiful.

"I'm sorry, Kevin," I replied softly, all the ache and guilt and anger of what had happened back then piling up on me all at once with his simple question. "It was wrong of me. I was afraid."

"Afraid...?" He looked up at me suddenly, surprise breaking through the agony. "But... you aren't afraid of anything."

God, how I wished that were true. I sighed and turned away, unable to hold the intensity of his gaze. "Everyone is afraid of something, Kevin. I just wasn't brave enough to face it. I wouldn't let Jenny help me, like you did."

"You were... afraid of me?" the fear behind the tentative question was tangible, and I shook my head.

"I'm afraid of goodbyes. I didn't even say goodbye to Jenny, Kevin. I just packed up the things in my office after she'd gone for the day. Packed up and went home." I forced myself to look up at him. "I know I hurt you. I know it hurt badly. I can't tell you how sorry I am that I did it."

"I... tried to kill myself," he whispered, glancing away.

"I know," I replied, and despite myself, my voice cracked. "I know, Kev. I'm so sorry."

He was silent for a long moment, staring down at the carpet in my office, at his shoes. "I used to be afraid of men," he said softly, finally. "They all hurt me. Not just my step father, the orderlies in the hospital, too. And the doctors. They we rough and angry and gave me needles. I was... I as so mad, when Jenny said you were going to come see me, to help her. I though you'd be just like the others. But you were patient and gentle with me." He let out a long sigh. "I... I wanted to get well because I knew it would make you happy. Because... because I liked the way you smiled on my good days. I wanted to please you."

"You always pleased me," I whispered, and he looked back at me, a little startled, then gave a soft smile.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"... thank you." There was such a look of longing in his eyes, and I began to understand, finally, why it had hurt him so badly when I left. Why he'd become so violent, why he'd lost his hold on reality. I'd been the first positive male role model in his life, and I'd walked out on him without even saying goodbye.

"I'm sorry, Kev," I said again. "I didn't want to hurt you. I never wanted to hurt you."

The open longing I'd seen was quickly shuttered away. "I have class, Jeff. I have to go."

"Will you come see me again?" I asked softly, heart aching, and watched him close his eyes.

"I shouldn't." He stood, suddenly looking very small, and I stood with him, chanced to reach out and place a gentle hand on his arm.

"Why not? Kevin, you're always welcome here. Come see me whenever you like." He seemed touched by the words, even though he didn't reply, so I pushed it a little farther. "We're friends, aren't we?"

"I have to go," he whispered, pulling away from my touch, and left.

~~~~


He was in the corner of the clinic waiting room when I left late in the evening, sitting crosslegged in one of the chairs with a sketchbook across his knees. When I called his name, he closed it hurriedly, stuffing it and his materials back in a bag that sat beside him on the floor. "Can we talk more now?"

I smiled and nodded, waiting for him to come to me before starting outside. "Are you hungry? I can take you for dinner, if you like?"

He shook his head. "Someplace private, please."

I hesitated. "I... have a couple of frozen dinners at home that I could heat up...."

The relief on his face was immediate. "Please. Thank you."

We drove in silence, and I couldn't help but glance over to him where he sat in the front seat of my car, arms wrapped around his school bag. I wondered how he'd found out that I was here, and why he'd decided to come see me after all this time. Perhaps it was just one more ghost he needed to lay to rest. To deal with the hurt surrounding my departure. I parked outside my apartment complex, rounding the car to open the door for him, and he looked up at me, a little startled, but smiled softly at me and got out. My apartment was small, but tidy, and he let me take his coat, hanging it and his bag on the hat stand by the door. "Do you like pasta?"

"You live alone," he stated, a little surprised, and I glanced away, a little ashamed.

"Yes. It's... easier, that way."

"Don't you have friends in California?" he asked, but I couldn't meet his eyes. I'd always hated talking about myself.

"I'm busy with work... I just know people through work." That was the same, no matter where I went.

"And no one special?"

I closed my eyes for a moment. "It doesn't matter, Kev. Let me get you something to eat, all right?"

He followed me into the kitchen, watching quietly as I turned on the oven, taking two boxes of Chicken Penne out of the freezer and putting them in to heat. "I used to wish that you and I and Jenny could just... be together all the time," he said softly, watching me. "I'm sorry that I ruined that, Jeff."

I turned to him in surprise at his words. Was this why he was here? Had he been blaming himself for it all these years? "Ruined it? You didn't do anything of the sort...."

"It's all right, Jeff," he said, without looking at me. "I know it was my fault. You don't have to say otherwise just to be kind."

"Kevin..." I started slowly, heart aching. "Kevin, did they tell you... why I left?"

He glanced up at me, blue eyes looking even bigger behind the big lenses. "No, but... I knew."

My heart wrenched painfully in my chest. "You did?"

"You left because of me." His blue eyes were serious and sorrowful. "I know you did, because - "

"Kevin, it wasn't - "

"Let me finish," he said gently. "You left because you could see that I was in love with you, and you knew it would get you in trouble."

For a long moment I couldn't respond, couldn't move, and I didn't even realize I was holding my breath until I felt his tentative touch on my arm, heard him whisper softly, "Breathe." It startled me into a gasp, and I stared at him in amazement.

"You... you thought I left because of you?"

"Didn't you?" He seemed a little uncertain, but didn't move his hand from my arm. "But... that's why you didn't come say goodbye, wasn't it? Because you knew... that I...."

"I had no clue," I managed to breathe, and a sudden look of shame crossed his face, pulling back, so I spoke quickly before he he could move away. "Kevin - don't you have a girlfriend? Surely the girls at school - "

"Girls at school flirt with me all the time," he said plainly, not looking at me. Of course they would, he was gorgeous. "I've gone on dates. My therapist has been very... encouraging about that." He gave a soft, mirthless laugh. "But I don't like girls, Jeff. I'm sorry, I... I thought you knew."

"I thought you knew," I found myself echoing his words, a little dazed. With just a few words, I felt like my entire perception of the situation - my entire world had been turned upside down. "Kevin - I didn't leave by choice. The board asked me to step down."

He looked up, startled. "They... fired you?"

"In a way, yes. They transferred me here."

"But why? Why would they do that?"

"Because I'm gay, Kevin." The words came out in a rush, before I could second guess myself. "They found out, and they didn't want me working with children. They were afraid that I would... pervert them." It came out far more bitter than I intended, and I turned away from him, raking a hand through my hair. "I'm sorry. I thought... I thought they would have told you. I never meant for you to think you were responsible. And I never... I didn't realize that it would break your heart. God, I'm so sorry."

He was silent for a long moment, but I couldn't look at him. Then I saw him move closer, slowly, hesitantly, reaching out so that just his fingertips touched my arm. For a time we just stood like that, his fingertips against my sleeve. Then I felt them move, smoothing up and down my bicep very slowly, moving more and more into contact with me until his whole hand cupped my arm, and I heard him give a soft, shivering sigh. "You're afraid of this too, aren't you, Jeff?"

I closed my eyes at his words, aching to reach out to him, fighting to push away arousal, desire. "... yes."

"You're afraid of people knowing." His voice was soft, understanding, and I was suddenly reminded of Jenny. "You're afraid of being close to people. That they'll hurt you, when they know."

I managed the smallest nod in reply, eyes still closed, and shivered under him as I felt his other hand cup my other arm, warm and soft and gentle.

"I used to be afraid of a lot of things," he said quietly. "You remember that. I'm not anymore. And when I am, I just... slowly make myself face it. Just a little bit at a time." His hands moved slowly, ever so hesitantly up to rest on my shoulders, not quite embracing me, but close. "It's how I got better. It's how I can live on my own now, have a real life. Be happy. But... I missed you."

I swallowed hard, trying to find my voice, to tell him what a bad idea this was - whatever this was. "Kevin...."

"Did you want to dance with me, that night?" he asked softly, voice light, but I could hear the emotion behind it, how much he needed me to answer.

"Yes," I whispered softly. "Yes, Kev. I did."

There was no reply for a moment, but then the hands on my shoulders slipped down to take mine, his fingers twining with one hand, my other hand being gently, insistently placed on his side, so that just my fingers touched him. Then his hand settled gently on my shoulder, and he began to hum, voice soft and low and rich, humming the bars of the Blue Danube, over and over again. Slowly he began to sway with me to the rhythm, until finally I let myself be lead, fall into the simple steps of the waltz with him. I realized my hand was pressed flat against his spine, though I wasn't sure if he'd moved closer to me, or if I'd drawn him closer without realizing it. I kept my eyes focused on his shoulder, my mind focused on the steps, his humming, but I couldn't ignore how his hand slipped up to cup the back of my neck gently, couldn't ignore the soft scent of cologne, and strangely enough, the scent was what made my mind process the fact that Kevin was not the troubled teen I had once met, but a man, living strong and independent on his own. A man who was slowly pressing closer to me, until we'd stopped moving, his humming fading into nothing, his face pressed to my hair, breath warm on my skin.

I couldn't push him away, not when I'd wanted this so badly. Wanted him so badly, so guiltily, for so long. I let go of his hand to stroke my fingers slowly over his hip, to rest my hand gently on his waist, and finally I let my face press to his, just a little, nuzzling the corner of his jaw. I felt his soft, shivering sigh on my skin, both arms tightening just a little around my shoulders as mine did around his waist. He returned the soft nuzzle, shivering against me just a little, and then I felt his lips press to my jaw, soft and warm, slowly trailing trembling kisses along my skin. When his mouth pressed to the corner of mine, I couldn't resist any longer, and turned with a soft sigh to press my lips to his, warm and soft, feeling a shudder run through me involuntarily at the contact, at the soft drag of his skin against mine. He was trembling just as much as I was, but returning my kisses eagerly, arms tightening around my shoulders, and as astounded as I was about the fact that I was actually kissing him, I was almost more astounded by the fact that he'd instigated this, and I wondered a little at his courage.

I let my tongue flick against his lips, just lightly, experimentally, and he yielded to me immediately, lips parting to mine, drawing the tip of his tongue along my bottom lip with the softest moan as he pressed close to me, body warm and strong against mine. I couldn't get enough of kissing him, slipping one hand up into his hair as I took his wordless invitation to taste him, as hungry for his mouth as he was for mine, echoing his soft groan of pleasure. When our lips parted, it was hardly long enough to draw breath before I was kissing him again, fingers clenching and releasing at the fabric of his shirt at the small of his back, not knowing quite how this was happening, but overjoyed that it was.

The smoke alarm pulled my mind back to reality, and I jerked back with a curse, realizing immediately that I'd neglected to turn the timer on for the oven and then completely forgotten about it. I turned off the oven and yanked open the door, grabbing the smoking, blackened dinners with a towel and dumping them in the sink under running water. Then I turned on the hood fan and threw open the kitchen window, coughing a little at the smell. "Shit - Kev, I'm sorry...."

I turned back to find him barely holding back laughter as he watched me, and I gave into it myself, laughing long and hard, tension evaporating between us as I drew him back into my arms. His eyes were warm and adoring behind now-smudged glasses, his fingers reaching up to stroke through my hair. "Maybe we should order delivery."

"Chinese?" I suggested, and he nodded, picking a few dishes with me that I phoned in to the place down the road. I watched him as I called, still amazed by how warm and relaxed he was now, leaning against my refrigerator, looking back at me with a little smile. I moved to embrace him again when I got off the phone, taking him out of the smokey kitchen and into my sitting room, hardly able to take my eyes off of him.

"I've always loved you, you know," I said softly, and it was true, although I'd never, ever allowed myself to think or feel anything sexual toward him before this moment.

He gave me a soft, almost shy smile. "I know. I have, too. It's not as frightening now that we've faced it, is it?"

"No," I agreed, a little wondering at his wisdom. "It's not."

It was a Friday night, so the wait for delivery was a little long, but I had two lonely bottles of beer in the back of my fridge, so I retrieved them and gave one to him, drinking slowly and talking as we passed the time. It made it easier, made me relax more - not the alcohol itself, but the fact that we were talking and drinking like old friends would, sitting comfortably close on my sofa. It was too difficult not to touch him, so I didn't resist, lacing my fingers with his, stroking the back of his hand with my thumb. It made him smile - hell, he was positively glowing - and I couldn't remember ever seeing him so happy.

When dinner was done and things put away, the two soaked charcoal briquettes in my sink thrown in the garbage with the empty chinese food boxes and the two of us seated on the sofa, he kissed me again. I was still a little afraid of being too bold, of hurting or frightening him, but I invited it, slipping an arm around his shoulders and letting my fingertips stroke his jaw. He smiled and arched into me, pressing those beautiful lips against mine again, warm and yearning and tasting just a little of beer. Our kisses were hungrier this time, perhaps from being denied through dinner, and in no time at all he had all practically climbed into my lap, one hand tangled in my shirt to keep me close through breathless, needy kisses, his mouth hot and eager. I let my hands stroke his back, his chest, warm and slow to let him pull back at any time, but he whimpered and pressed closer, until somehow I was stretched under him on the couch, our legs tangled and hips arching together a little desperately. Our kisses were broken with soft, breathless groans of pleasure, and it was the most heady thing in the world to feel him hard through his jeans, rocking almost helplessly against my thigh, the friction against my own aching erection more than a little maddening.

"Kev -" I tried to gasp, giving a little helpless cry as his hips ground down against mine incessantly, making me buck up against him before I could stop myself. "God, Kev - shouldn't be doing this...."

"Why not?" He pulled back a little to look down at me, weight ballanced on his forearms on either side of my head. He wet his lips and let his hips arch against mine again, just a little, just enough to make me gasp. It had been far, far too long since I'd been intimate with anyone, too frightened to look, too frightened of rejection, and it felt far too good to be with him like this. I wasn't sure if I could control myself.

"I'm taking advantage of you," I said softly, worriedly, but he only smiled, chuckling softly, rocking his hips very pointedly, exquisitely, against mine.

"Are you? It doesn't look like it. It kind of looks like the other way around." He leaned in to brush his lips to mine, voice husky. "I want to be with you."

I returned the kiss with a shivering sigh, slipping fingers through his hair. "Kev, you're - vulnerable...."

He pulled back again, eyes wide. "Am I? So are you."

"Yes, but - I'm the therapist. You used to be my charge...."

"Five years ago," he said softly. "And more than enough time has passed that it can't be held against you professionally." His smile was a little cheeky, and he'd managed to astonish me once again, that he'd actually looked into things like that. He cupped my face in one hand, stroking the outline of my lips with his thumb, watching me as he began to speak again softly. "I'm supposed to have had at least three sexual partners at this point in my life, you know. That's what my therapist says. She's concerned that I'm not getting laid. I didn't tell her that it was because I only want you."

"You shouldn't want me," I breathed, but reached up to catch his mouth with mine again with a soft, longing moan, finding it too hard to stop, not with him so close to me like this.

"I do want you," he murmured, low and husky between soft kisses. "If you don't want me here, I'll leave. But I want to be here with you."

"Don't leave," I whispered tightening my arms around him. "God, Kevin. Please stay with me."

His lips were warm on my throat, fingers tugging at my button down shirt to pull it undone, breath warm on my chest as he kissed over my skin, fingers stroking slowly over me, warm and a little wondering. His lips found my nipple and I gave a soft cry at the shudder of sensation, intoxicated by the way he was exploring me, touching me, teasing my nipple with his lips and tongue and the tips of his teeth. When his hand slipped down to tentatively cup my erection through my slacks, I arched up against him with a sharp gasp, fingers tangling in his shirt. "Kevin - Kev, we can't - we're on my couch...."

"Can we go somewhere else?" His voice was soft, his words so innocent and so suggestive at the same time, and from the soft, pleading in his eyes I couldn't say no. He set his glasses down on the bedside table as I took him into my room, pulling his tshirt off over his head without saying a word, and it struck me again how gorgeous he was. He'd filled out more than a little in the five years since I'd last seen him, the vulnerable teenaged scrawniness replaced with lean muscle and broad shoulders, skin healthy and just a little tanned, though still marred with scars. I couldn't keep my hands off of it, could stop myself from kissing his throat, his chest, from teasing him through his pants, loving the way he arched and writhed against me. Then, almost before I knew what I was doing, I was on my knees in front of him, pulling his jeans down with his shorts, taking his erection in my mouth.

"Oh god - !" His hips bucked instinctively into my mouth, and I fought to take it, to remember old skills I hadn't used in so long. It was difficult, with him tense and trembling against me, fingers clenched in my hair, but I wanted so badly to please him, feeling almost intoxicated with the taste of him, the feel of him hard in my mouth. I let his clothes fall, stroking hands over his thighs and ass as I took him again and again in my mouth, letting him thrust and taking it as best I could, moaning around him. His pleasure overwhelmed almost all my senses - the feel and taste of him in my mouth, the musk of his arousal, his helpless, whimpering moans of pleasure as he rocked into my mouth, and as I swallowed his cock again, I realized that it was a very real threat that I would climax just from sucking him off, without him even having to touch me.

He pulled back suddenly, enough that it left me gasping, crawling up to kneel on my bed, features dimly lit in the warm light that spilled into my room through the half open door. "I want to please you," he said softly, holding out a hand to me.

"This does please me," I replied, meaning it more literally than he knew, but let him pull me up onto the bed with him, tugging at my belt and pants, and I helped him undo them, kicking them off with my shorts. His fingers wrapped around the core of my desire without hesitation, pressing me back to the bed and catching my mouth hungrily as he stroked me. It was all I could do not to climax right there just from the caress of his hand on my erection, and I reached to return the touch to him, my fingers sliding easily over skin wet with my saliva. "Oh god, Kev..."

"Can I use my mouth on you?" he asked softly, but I tightened my free arm around him, keeping him close as my breath grew ragged, arching up into his touch.

"Please don't stop," I gasped, feeling almost helpless to the overwhelming pleasure, tearing kisses from his mouth desperately. "God Kev, don't stop - !" His fingers were wet now, slicking over my skin with the precome that dripped from my aching cock, stroking faster and more firmly at my words. He was whimpering as well now as I touched him, as I matched his pace, matched his frantic gasps for air against my mouth. I was fairly shuddering against him, body aching to come but at the same time not wanting this to end, but when he gasped my name helplessly I couldn't hold back. My hips bucked up hard into his hand and I came, spilling hot and slick in his fingers, my voice in a raw, shuddering cry as pleasure blossomed through me, hot and bright and overwhelming. His answering cry was almost incredulous, joyful and passionate, and I felt him pulse in my fingers and follow me to climax, and it multiplied my own pleasure and satisfaction more than I could have imagined to feel the pleasure of his orgasm.

We clung together helplessly, bodies sweat streaked and trembling, trading soft, incredulous kisses as heart rates returned to normal. "You're so beautiful," I whispered, letting my forehead rest against his, stroking the fingers of my free hand through his hair. "So beautiful, Kev. I'm so in love with you."

He laughed softly, warm and a little wondering, his blue eyes all pupil in the darkness. "So you'll forgive me for seducing you?"

I echoed his laugh softly, leaning up to kiss him, playing along though I wasn't sure his interpretation of the situation was entirely accurate. "You can seduce me any time you want. I'll return the favor whenever you wish."

"Tomorrow morning?" he asked hopefully. "Every night after that?"

I chuckled, nuzzling his jaw. "You might get bored of me."

"Oh no," he replied seriously. "There's far too many things to try to get bored." At my questioning look, he gave a soft laugh, lowering his head a little self consciously. "I've been... doing a lot of reading."

"You are far too clever for your own good," I murmured, stretching languidly against him, completely charmed. "Stay here for a moment and let me get things cleaned up. You're welcome to stay with me tonight if you like. I can take you home tomorrow before school.

"It's Saturday tomorrow," he said with a little smile, and I wondered if he'd planned this on purpose.

"So it is." I laughed softly, kissing the smile, feeling more affectionate than I'd ever thought possible. "Then perhaps we can relax and catch up tomorrow, and you can tell me a little more about these things you've been reading about." He nodded, and I pulled away a little regretfully, disappearing into the bathroom to come back with a warm washcloth that I used to make us both much less sticky. Then I curled up with him again, tugging the blankets over him and letting him pillow his head on my chest, body warm and pliant in my arms. "...Kev?"

His voice was sleepy. "Mmmm?"

"How did you know where to find me?"

"Your name was on a pamphlet in my therapist's office," he replied softly, and yawned. "I never realized you'd come out here. I... I wanted to at least thank you, for everything you did to help me back then with Jenny. I know I wasn't easy for you."

I tightened my arms around him, thankful more now than ever that Jenny had stood by this boy when the rest of the world had given up on him. I'd have to send her a thank you bouquet, as soon as I found her. "You were worth it, Kev," I murmured softly, pressing my lips to his hair. "You were more than worth it."

~~~~~~~~~