I'm the Cause of All Your Sickness

Shilo stood pressed too close to Rotti, eyes wide as he heart shook within her chest. Her father was on his knees, halfway across stage, in what she now knew was his Repoman attire, that long leather-like jacket. She remembered running her fingers over that jacket, in the dark, and being held against it. How many others, in death, had been pressed to the exact spot she had been?

She shuddered, sick to her stomach. How could her father be one of the infamous Repomen? How could he have lied to her for so long? How could he say he loved her but keep so much? She’d let him inside her every vein…

“You’ve exceeded all my plans,” Rotti broke in, shaking Shilo from her thoughts.

“More than you could say for Amber,” Luigi said, walking by, the knife used to slice Nathan open back within his sleeve, staining the pinstripes pink.

“More than I can say for you, or your worthless brother,” he spat.

“I just want to get my cure,” Shilo whispered, looking towards her father. She’d thought if she was cured, maybe she would get to see her father more, she could go out of the house with him. And maybe she wouldn’t be such a burden, maybe she’d become something he truly wanted, needed. But now, seeing things as they were in new light, she just wanted to get away.

“And I promise to deliver-“

“Don’t you lay a hand on her!” Nathan cried.

“Hold your tongue before an elder!” Rotti scolded, glaring at Nathan, who glared back.

“Touch her and I swear I’ll kill you,” he hissed as Rotti’s guards lost their hold on him.

“Bring it on you cheap imposter!” Rotti yelled, as his guards stabbed their tasers into Nathan’s back. He cried out and lurched forward, bracing his fall with his hands. Shilo’s breath escaped her, a small, strangled cry knotting in her throat.

Ignoring her, Rotti turned to the crowd and flung his arms out, announcing, “I’m terminally ill!” The audience gasped, Rotti’s sons crying out. “So I planned my perfect end, one only I could spin.”

“Ending you would be my pleasure,” Nathan growled, glaring daggers at Rotti. His eyes darted to Shilo, whose eyes were wide, trying to take everything in. When she registered his gaze she frowned.

“I no longer trust you dad,” she said, looking away. Nathan stared, face showing his broken heart, and opened his mouth to speak her name, when Rotti broke in-

“Did you know he killed your mother?” Shilo’s head, which she had just turned away, unable to stand his broken gaze, whipped back to her father. Her eyes were now wide, while his pleaded with her.

“It was just an accident,” he called, trying to move towards her, but being grabbed on the biceps by Rotti’s personal guards. Rotti smirked, his eyes dancing with joy, and Shilo looked from him to her father, confused.

“Someone tell me what is going on!”

“Tell her, tell her!” Rotti and his sons cried, pointing at Nathan, getting far more pleasure from this than any man should.

“Someone tell me what is going on!”

“Let’s leave!” Nathan cried.

“Tell her, tell her!”

“Let’s leave!” He struggled against the guards, his energy faded. Shilo looked from Rotti to him, lost, wanting to move somewhere, but unsure where, and unable to make her legs take a single step. “No more!” he begged, trying to reach for Shilo, hearing the Largos chanting in the background. “No more!” he cried loudly, before the guards stuck their tasers into him again. He groaned and shot forward, falling to the stage.

Shilo went to run to him, but Rotti grabbed her wrist, pulling her back. “Let me introduce you to the man who made you sick,” he said, and Shilo’s head jerked up. “He’s poisoned all your medicine.”

She opened her mouth to speak, but her throat closed up. She felt her heart racing, and her vision swam briefly. She tried to move towards her father, who had become just a blur, but stumbled, barely keeping her footing. She reached for her head, ho0lding it, and Nathan reached for her.

“Someone please, please help my daughter,” he pleaded, refusing to look away from her.

“This will pass, you’ve got to fight through it,” Rotti said.

“I’ve deceived the only one that matters!”

“I need my pill,” Shilo croaked, falling to her knees, her arms bracing herself as her head sank low and her insides knotted. She looked over at her father, who cleared for a moment. Her eyes looked confused, scared, and Nathan felt his chest constricting.

“It’s not your fault,” he whispered, trying to keep her conscious, keep her looking at him. “Believe me, Shilo, it’s me who failed you.” He wished so badly to pull her to his chest, to cradle her through her pain. But his muscles felt like wilted roses.

“My stomach,” Shilo groaned, falling to her side and curling up. “It’s your medicine?” she asked through her haze.

“I’m the cause of all your sickness,” he said, eyes teary. Shilo stared, before her vision finally dimmed completely.

When she came to, she was lying in the remains of Mag’s blood, and possibly her father’s as well, she couldn’t be sure. She sat up slowly, looking around, trying to take everything in again. She was still on stage, and her father had been lifted to a wheel chair, though he looked barely conscious. She couldn’t be sure how much of his blood had drained, had stained her and the stage. She stood up slowly, before Rotti, appearing behind her, just waiting for her eyes to open, pulled her up by her upper arm and said,

“Your mother once promised her love to me! Had she never fled, you’d be mine.” He narrowed his eyes, looking straight at Nathan. “Deny your father now, for the world to see. Kill him.”

“No!” Shilo said, eyes wide, trying to pull her arm free, but Rotti refused to let her go.

“And I’ll leave you GeneCo.” The crowd gasped, his sons crying out loudly. Rotti pulled a gun from his jacket as they ran up, and handed it out towards Shilo. “All you have to do is pull the trigger.”

Shilo pulled her arm free, stepping away from the gun. “You want to pay me to kill my father?” she asked, disgust thick in her voice.

“I want you to do what is right,” Rotti said, stepping closer. “This man killed your mother, he betrayed you both, he’s a liar!” He pushed the gun into Shilo’s hands, and she gripped it, felt the cool metal in her palms. It felt heavy.

“I am not a murderer!” she cried, pointing it at Rotti as she backed up, but he only followed.

“But you share your dad’s genetics. What if he passed this to you?”

“I don’t have to share his choices!” she cried, shoving it back into Rotti’s hand, feeling the pit of her stomach churning.

“Didn’t you say you were infected?” he asked, trying to corner her against the fence that had impaled Mag.

“I poisoned you,” Nathan whispered, looking up at Shilo, and she felt her breath escape her. He was still alive, at least. “I’m worse than Rotti, imprisoned you.” His eyes darted to hers, locked briefly, and Shilo felt her knees grow week. Memories of the last few days, of the best moments of her life, flashed before her, and her anger began to dissipate. It was still there; still throbbing in her temples and below her breasts, but it was tolerable. “I couldn’t lose you,” he nearly pleaded, “what have I done?”

Shilo opened her mouth to speak, but the words were dead in her throat, strangled in tears and pain and confusion that she couldn’t understand.

“Forgive me Shilo,” he begged, “I drugged your blood. Oh God, what have I done to you?”

She wanted to cry wonderful things, she wanted to take him and go home. She wanted to curl up and forget tonight, and think clearly come dawn. She didn’t want to be here. She looked at Rotti, who was eyeing her in a way that made her blood boil, not at all like her father’s eyes, but with a rage she had never felt before.

She grabbed the gun from his hands and pointed it at him, advancing. “You used my mother’s death to use my father,” she seethed, following Rotti as he backed away. “You used my father’s death to use me, too!”

“Your dad deserved whatever happened to him! He needed me, and so do you!” Shilo frowned, almost jabbing the gun into Rotti’s chest, suddenly wanting to pull the trigger, suddenly wanting to splatter his insides just like Mag’s were splattered all over the stage.

“I remember,” Nathan whispered, and Shilo looked over at him, eyes softening. “Remember my mistakes, remember you can chance, remember that I love you.” His eyes betrayed him to her, and Shilo’s chest tightened, her lungs aching suddenly. Had someone buried a fist between her breasts? “I’m sorry that I failed you. Remember that it’s up to you, to go and shape your life into one that’s worthy of remembering!”

The lights died suddenly, Pavi and Luigi hitting them back stage, and Rotti grabbed the gun from Shilo’s hands. She cried out, “No!” and flung herself at his arm, throwing it off as the gun fired. She heard her father’s breath, his raspy cry, and everything inside her shattered. She shoved Rotti, the gun falling to the ground, and ran to Nathan, ignoring Rotti as he began cursing out his children who approached him.

“Dad!” Shilo cried, falling to her knees and reaching up, gripping at his thigh. He moved his hand and she took it, saw blood spilling from his right shoulder. Rotti’s aim had been thrown off. “Stay with me daddy,” she begged, clutching his hand. Nathan looked at her through weak eyes, moving his lips, mouthing her name, his head spinning.

Shilo buried her face in his lap, clinging, crying, unable to let go. She couldn’t imagine losing him now, not after all that had happened. Not so soon.

Beneath her sobbing and Nathan’s labored breath, she could hear heels. She looked up and saw a pair of intense eyes staring at her from behind a gauzy veil, held up to cover exposed muscle. The woman from her house, the singer with the fallen face, Rotti’s only daughter. Amber.

She grabbed Shilo’s shoulder and pushed her away. She fell on her butt and stared as Amber grabbed the handles to the wheel chair, kicking a gear in the back so it moved. She jerked her head, and Shilo scrambled up, following her off stage as the last of Nathan’s consciousness faded, and they rushed into the stark, artificial light.

The next thing Nathan knew, he was opening his eyes to a dark room. He blinked and reached up, running his fingers over his face, his temples. He looked at his arm and saw small IV tubes stretching from it, past his vision. He went to move his right arm, and grimaced, groaning in immense pain. He tried to sit up, when he heard movement, and a chair being shoved back.

“Dad!” He turned to his right, and his eyes widened when he saw Shilo rushing from a chair she had previously been curled up in, against a window that had the curtains drawn open, letting the only light in. She wasn’t wearing Marni’s dress now, but a short black dress with long sleeves he’d never seen, and a little grey vest. She stopped at the edge of his bed and reached out, brushing her fingers over his arm.

“Shi,” he whispered, reaching out with his good hand and brushing her hair back, now clean of the night’s early gory evidence. He smiled, his eyes dancing, unable to put into words the elation of seeing her, of touching her, of knowing she was alive. Of knowing he was alive with her, though he was confused. “How did I…”

“Rotti missed,” she whispered, reaching up and running her fingers along his hospital gown, which he had just begun to realize was resting against his skin. He could feel the ties on his back, exposing a thin strip of flesh, stretching down his vertebrae, before it was fully closed at the small of his back. He could feel the starchy sheets. “And she got you to the hospital just in time-“

“She?” Nathan asked, his voice a little raspy. Shilo reached out and touched his throat with her fingers, running the tips over his Adam’s apple and down to the center of his collar bone, giving him goose bumps that he tried to hide.

“Yeah, Amber.”

Nathan raised his eyebrows, thoroughly confused, when he heard a door open. He and Shilo looked over and saw a curved figure in the doorway, blindingly framed by bright, artificial light. When the door closed and their eyes adjusted, Amber walked towards them in a lace black robe, barely covering what clothing she wore underneath.

“Look who woke up,” she spoke, her face now attached to her skin perfectly. She stopped at the bed and smiled, not a perfectly friendly smile, but still a smile. Nathan just looked at her.

“Why?” he asked, and Amber looked over her shoulder, towards the door.

“Another time,” she said, “a Gentern will be in soon to look at your shoulder, and this is a private matter. I’ll be by soon to talk.”

She looked at Shilo, and lifted her hand, making a zipper motion over her lips, and the girl nodded, a smile playing at the corner of her lips. Amber smiled back, a little more truthfully, and walked out. Shilo had barely looked at her father before the door opened again, and two Genterns walked in. One slipped between Shilo and her father, untying the top of his hospital gown and removing a bandage to examine his wound, while the other was examining his IV.

Shilo tried to peer past them, catching glimpses of the torn skin, red and angry looking. She gulped and looked away, deciding she’d seen enough blood for the day. Nathan barely winced as they disinfected the wound again and re-bandaged it, his eyes staring off towards Shilo now that her back was turned, and she was looking out the window.

When the Genterns were done they left, leaving the two in the dark. Shilo didn’t turn around, and quietly, Nathan whispered, “Shilo.”

She turned to him, her arms folded under her chest, her eyes cast off to the side.

“We need to talk, don’t we?” she whispered, wanting to avoid it. She didn’t want to process the night. She just wanted to curl up against his chest and sleep, kiss his cheek, his lips, and fall asleep, secure. He nodded though, and she walked over, sitting on the edge of the bed. There was a moment of silence, before she whispered, “Well, talk.”

“I figured you’d have something to say first,” he admitted, taken aback by her stoic attitude, her calmness. When she was still quiet, he said the only thing he could. “I’m sorry, precious.” He touched her hand, ran his fingers along it, over her slim wrist.

“There’s so much,” she said, looking at the floor, “so much you never told me. Why?” She turned, her eyes so dark, so endless, but not as tear in sight, or an angry spark. Just pools.

Nathan sighed, gripping her hand. He couldn’t hold her gaze, and averted her eyes down, whispering, “How could I, Shi? How could I tell you that I’d killed your mother, accident or not? And Rotti…if I did his dirty work, you’d never have to know, have the carry the truth like I do.”

“I don’t care,” she whispered, pulling her hand back and fiddling with the hem of her dress. “Whatever you did to…mom…” The words felt funny on her lips, tasted sour to her tongue. The bitterness she was holding now felt so infectious, and Nathan could hear it, though he said nothing. That could wait for another night, there was far too much now. “Why did you poison me?” she said now, and Nathan knew that was the real question.

“I couldn’t bear to lose you,” he whispered, “Shilo; you’re the world to me.” She looked at him, eyes wide, and let go of her dress.

“How could you lose me?” she cried softly, “How? I don’t want to leave you, dad! Are you blind?” She leaned over, resting her chest against him, bracing herself beside his head with her hands. She was barely inches from him. “I don’t want to leave, I never wanted to leave! I just wanted to be outside, to breathe like everyone else! I just don’t want to be a fucking burden!”

He stared up at her, and her eyes went from sparks to watery, and she bit her lower lip.

“I need you, daddy,” she whispered, looking to the side for a moment, as if to compose herself. When she looked back, a track of tears had leaked from the corner of one eye. “Dammit dad, I just want to be with you all the time.”

Nathan’s chest constricted again, and he reached up with his left hand, cupping her cheek. She nuzzled his hand gently, her lips brushing his thumb. His breath escaped him as she looked at him with such dark eyes they were almost black. She smiled slightly at the sheer shock in his eyes, and leaned in, kissing him gently. His hand sank into her hair as she moved, and stroked down to the nape of her neck, giving her shivers she tried to suppress.

Her hands slid down his shoulder gently, purposely missing his found, and gripped onto the thin fabric that separated her from his bare chest. Shilo’s breath was fading, but when the tip of her father’s tongue touched hers, she didn’t care. Her lungs ached to breath, and when she pulled back, gasping, she lost it again as he delved for her neck, worshipping her skin, nipping, nuzzling, kissing. She gripped tighter, swallowing the knot in her throat.

“Y-you’re hurt,” she whispered, remembering the blood loss, the wound, “we can’t.” They looked at each other for a moment, and Nat5han just chuckled, pulling her down so she was lying against his chest. She smiled as he stroked her hair, and their legs intertwined.

“Not every kiss has to be more than that,” he whispered, kissing the top of her head. She smiled more, closing her eyes and listening to the rhythm of his heart as it beat just beneath her cheek.

When she woke up next, not much had changed. There was never much light now, thanks to the smog in the sky, but more artificial light flooded in. Yawning, Shilo stretched a little, and felt her father’s left arm tighten around her, the other laying flat on the bed so as to not disturb his shoulder.

She looked up at him, peacefully sleeping, and slipped out from under his arm. She stood up, stretched, and snuck off to the bathroom. After fixing her wig and straightening her dress, she walked past her sleeping father, deciding she needed to stretch her legs.

The halls of the hospital were blindingly bright and overly white, smelling of bleach. She scrunched up her nose, walking away from the bustling Genterns and patients, her stomach growling at her. She folded her arms as she walked, trying to keep her eyes to herself, feeling odd being so suddenly alone, in a strange place, surrounded by people. Was this freedom?

She stopped as she passed a large window, looking out at the city from a different perspective. The large center TV was covered in footage from the night, news updates. Shilo moved closer, pressing a hand to the glass, tilting her head. She watched as the news of Mag’s death scrolled over the newsman, who was talking about something completely irrelevant. She looked away, closing her eyes to chase away the image of Mag impaled, and when she opened her eyes and looked back, she saw the reflection of someone standing behind her.

She jumped, turning around, and stared up at Amber, who was smiling down at her. Her dress was short and fell off her shoulders, her shirt a short brown bob today.

“H-hi,” Shilo said, and Amber almost laughed.

“I won’t bite,” she said, though her eyes seemed dangerous. Shilo nodded, and looked off at Amber’s two bodyguards, who were standing a few steps back. “I need you to come with,” she said, folding her arms.

“But my dad-“

“Will be fine,” Amber said, “he might not even wake up before you get back. And besides, you’re not sick, you know that now. Why not enjoy your freedom?”

Shilo bit her lip and nodded, following Amber as they walked towards an elevator. She stood between the diva and one of her body guards the whole way down, careful to touch no one. When they reached the ground floor she walked just behind them, and was led into a car, much like Rotti’s had been. Amber’s guards sat on her sides, across from Shilo, who was afraid to breathe until the car was moving and Amber was speaking.

“You’ve seen a lot,” she said, reaching her hand out as one of her guards handed her a wine glass. “A lot more than I’d ever want anyone to see.”

All Shilo could think was that she was going to be shot right in the forehead and left somewhere. Amber had seemed so sweet the night before, but now, alone with her and secluded, Shilo felt helpless.

“So I have a proposal.” She sipped the wine, frowned, and handed it back, taking another glass from the guard on the other side. “If you keep what you’ve seen to yourself,” she began, leaning forward so she was closer to Shilo, “I’ll keep to myself what I know.”

“What do you know?” Shilo asked, tugging at the hem of her dress again nervously. She really didn’t know what Amber thought she knew about Shilo. If she was alluding to her father’s identity as a Repoman, she wanted her to just say it.

“I know who you fuck at night.”

Shilo’s face turned a deep scarlet, and Amber almost laughed. She handed her second wine glass back to her guard and reached out, gripping Shilo’s chin so she had to look at her.

“Keep what you know about me in that pretty little head of yours, and I won’t tell a soul about everything your father has done. And the world never has to know he’s fucking his little girl.”

Shilo gulped and nodded, and Amber released her and leaned back, taking her wine glass back and sipping. Shilo sat there in silence, thinking about it, before asking,

“Why did you help me?” Amber looked up and shrugged a shoulder.

“If your father wasn’t in the picture, I’d have nothing to work with, no deal to make. And I don’t need more bad publicity than I have.” Shilo looked at her, but Amber looked away, a hint of compassion in her eyes that Shilo wouldn’t question. She only smiled. “I mean, there wouldn’t need to be another reason,” she said, and Shilo nodded, but Amber continued, on a nervous rush. “I was just looking out for myself.”

“Okay,” Shilo said, trying to hide a small grimace as her stomach turned almost painfully, her body reminding her she was hungry. Amber laughed and once again deposited of her wine glass, before saying,

“I think we should talk more over breakfast.”

Shilo returned to the hospital an hour later, unescorted, and made her way up the elevator to her father’s floor. It still felt odd, to be out of the house, and especially away from him, but she did find something so exciting about it, so liberating.

When she entered the room the Genterns were back, inspecting her father again. His head jerked the instant the door opened, and when he saw Shilo his eyes showed a flood of relief. They were just finishing up another bandage change, and Shilo stayed back until they walked past her. Once they were alone, she walked over and sat on the bed, looking at his shoulder.

“How is it?” she asked, and he looked at it, then shrugged, making him wince. “I’ll take that as a not so good.” She inched closer, and he reached out, running his fingers along her thigh.

“Where were you?” he asked, and she felt that parental note of worry laced in every word. For a moment, she was just his daughter again, just his precious child.

“Amber found me,” Shilo said, “and we talked, like she said we had to.” Nathan’s eyebrows rose, and he reached out, gripping her arm.

“You were alone with her?” Shilo nodded, staring at his hand. She pulled her arm free.

“We had to talk-“

“You shouldn’t be alone with her, it’s dangerous.” Shilo rolled, her eyes, standing up.

“Look,” she said, turning to face him, “I’m not just a little kid. I’ve seen more than most people your age,” she said, and Nathan felt a twinge of sadness at her words. “It was just a talk, I had to do it, so can we not even bother?”

“But Shi-“

“Don’t ‘Shi’ me!” she said, jabbing her finger into her own chest. “Not after all this, don’t Shi me, dad! I’m protecting you here, and if you can’t deal with that, then find someone else to baby!” She turned, exasperated, and stormed out, letting the door slam behind her.

Once in the white hallway, she knew she was being childish, but she couldn’t bring herself to turn around and walk right back in. She just wanted him to accept that she had taken care of something on her own, that she had protected him, and thank her for it. That was all. She didn’t want a lecture, and right now, she didn’t want to be a child. Because she couldn’t be.

She just wanted to go home.

She ended up curled up in a chair off in a lounge, asleep. She didn’t know for how long, but when she woke up, it was to a Gentern lightly nudging her arm. She rubbed her eyes and the woman smiled at her, saying something about a car waiting for her, how her father could continue his recovery at home now that they’d gotten him stable and mended up.

Shilo stood up and followed her back down the elevator and outside, where a black car was waiting. She didn’t recognize the driver, but Nathan was leaning against the back door, dressed in clean clothes, looking just as he always had, except for the bit of medical tape Shilo should see holding his bandage on under his shirt.

She didn’t say anything, just walked around and got in the other side. Nathan sighed and ducked into the car quietly. It drove away, and Shilo stared idly out the window, not looking at her father when she asked,

“Where did the car come from?”

“Apparently your friend Amber,” he said, looking briefly at her, then away again. Shilo nodded, wondering if Amber was going to be sending her random gifts and conveniences like this all the time to keep her quiet. Not that she was going to tell anyone about what she’d seen. Amber’s Zydrate addiction wasn’t Shilo’s concern at all. In fact, Shilo would have considered Amber saving her father’s life more than enough to keep her quiet, even if she wasn’t ready to speak to him again.

When the car pulled up Shilo was out before Nathan, heading towards the house. For once in her life, she wanted her room, she wanted to close the door, lock it, and just sit. She wanted to sleep again, to sleep for days, to sort her mind and all the aches she found there. She opened the door and left it partially open as her father followed, who watched her head up the stairs. He stood with the cool wind blowing against his back, wanting to follow her, but knowing that wasn’t what she needed.

His shoulder beginning to ache, he went his own way to lay down in the hopes of waking up to a new tomorrow.

When Shilo was finally done sleeping her anger off, she was unsure of the time, or how long she’d been out. She’d stripped into her short night gown, and tossed her wig onto its stand, but she had no recollection of actually crawling into bed, of tucking herself away. She knew she had done it though; her sheets didn’t have the faint scent of her father, of his aftershave and on personal scent that drove her wild when it was just floating in the air.

She pushed her blanket off and kicked her legs over the edge of the bed, sitting there for a moment and looking around in the dark, her curtains drawn. The clock said it was after 2 A.M., and she tried to think how she slept a day and most of the night away, and decided she didn’t care. She stood up, stretched, and put her wig on, before venturing out of her room.

She wasn’t sure she was ready to speak to her father yet, knowing what little conversation that had was not enough, that there were issues that had to be dug up, but she was ready to see him.

She stopped at his door and placed a hand on it, considering knocking. She wasn’t sure if she should, it had been so long since she’d just walked down to see him. Not since her childhood, after nightmares. For years her door had been locked.

She decided to knock, and did so softly. She heard Nathan’s voice, calling her to come in. She opened the door and found him in the dim light, sitting up in bed with his glasses on, reading. She hadn’t seen him look...peaceful in a long time.

She shut the door and walked over, standing at the edge of the bed. He raised an eyebrow, and she wondered if he even remembered they were fighting. She thought about crawling onto the bed, but decided against it and instead walked around and slipped on from the side. Nathan set down his book and reached out to her, pulling her close so he could keep her in his arms. She didn’t look up at him, just stared ahead as he kissed the top of her head.

“How are you feeling?” she asked, and she could feel his lips move as he smiled.

“Alright,” he said. “I took some pain killers so I feel a little…fuzzy,” he admitted, stroking her arm. “What about you?”

“Fine,” she said, knowing it wasn’t entirely true, but she wasn’t physically hurt or anything. She just had a lot on her mind, which she still didn’t want to face. Instead she closed her eyes and leaned against him, considering sleeping more. Maybe she was still in shock.

“Did you sleep?” he asked, and she nodded.

“Since I got in my room.”

“Do you need anything?” She didn’t speak at first, thinking about it. Did she need anything? Did she need something to eat, or medicine of any kind, or someone to tuck her in?

She felt a warm shiver travel through her body, and the only thing she needed was for things to go back to the way they were before that night. She just wanted to reverse time, to never go out and meet Rotti, or look for her cure, or anything.

But there was no going back, and as she squeezed her father’s hand that gripped her arm gently, she knew that. She could only make the best of what had become.

“Just one thing,” she whispered, looking up through her thick lashes. His cheeks flushed a little, and Shilo turned, running some of his hair through her fingers. She kissed his cheek, then his jaw as he whispered,

“Shi-“

“It’s what we need,” she whispered, nuzzled his neck. “If you’re tired then I’ll do everything.”

She ran her fingers over the buttons to Nathan’s shirt, and he didn’t know how to say no, if there was any way to refuse her. Of course, he had no desire to, but he worried he wasn’t up to what she’d want, or if she really wanted this. He may have slept his agitation off, but he knew Shilo’s was harder to get rid of.

He didn’t say anything though as she kissed his neck gently, as she moved over his lap and to his lips. She was being far gentler than usual, like the night before, when she had kissed him so sweetly he thought he’d die if he couldn’t wrap himself around her, slip inside her, and just stay like that forever. The sweetness was back, and he couldn’t object when she opened his shirt, her fingers so soft that they had to be rose petals.

When she stopped kissing him, slipping back barely from his lips to breath, he just closed the gap himself, being as gentle as he could. His hands ran along her sides, memorizing her curves, even if he already had. It had to have taken her long minutes before she actually pushed his shirt off, exposing the bandage on his right shoulder. She pulled Shilo closer, pushing her up so she was above him as they kissed, his hands on her hip and the small of her back.

Shilo liked this level, being held over him. It gave her a different angle of his lips, allowed her tongue to push between them easier, giving her control. As she led him his hand on her hip moved to her butt, running over it gently and pushing her night gown up. She sighed and stopped, leaning back and pulling it off, leaving her breasts at eye level. She smiled, taking longer than necessary to get the garment off, tormenting Nathan.

He laughed and ran his hand up her spine as she finally tossed it across the room. “You’re horrible,” he said, kissing above her nipple gently. She smiled, feeling heat growing in her lower belly, and butterflies in her chest, like she had before. It made her want to cry out in joy. She had been afraid they might not come back, that the tragic course of events had shaken her attraction to her father.

He was pulling her down again for a kiss, infatuated with her lips. Shilo had no complaints, happy to press her body to his as their lips melted, her hands gripping at the pillows behind him. She released with one hand and slipped it below her, working his pants open with far more ease than Nathan expected. He had to wonder if she was getting to good at this, too quickly.

Shilo moved off of him long enough to tug on his pants. Nathan was going to get up to take them off, but she didn’t give them a chance, nudging on his hips and tugging them off as he briefly arched off the bed. She smiled and slipped her panties down off her hips, slowly exposing her sex. She watched Nathan’s eyes taking her in, and they made her heart race.

After she’d stripped of them she crawled back over him, settling over his lap.

“Shi-“

“Shhh,” she whispered, pressing a finger to his lips. “I don’t want you to hurt yourself…” She looked at his shoulder, and gently she ran her fingers over the bandage. Nathan grimaced, and she took her hands away, straddling him and slipping him inside her body with no warning. He gasped as her breath escape her, and she leaned forward, her cheek brushing his as she whimpered. It hadn’t been that long, Shilo was thinking, but it felt like that first night, just a few days ago all over again.

“Daddy,” she whispered, nuzzling his neck, not wanting to move. He wrapped his arms around her, stroking her skin, unable to speak.

“Shi,” he forced out as she moved her hips ever so slowly, unsure how she should be moving them. Nathan had to smile as she tried, before he gripped her hips. “Precious,” he whispered, leaning forward to briefly kiss her cheek, “let me.”

He helped her lift her hips, having to fight to control himself as she’d plunge back down over him. Shilo began to get the rhythm, and Nathan backed up, using his hands to cup her breasts and she leaned forward slightly and kissed him.

He wanted to push her down onto her back and take her like that, but he knew he couldn’t support himself on his right arm, not yet. He cursed the wound in his head, but was thankfully Shilo seemed to be getting enough pleasure from this. She was whimpering and moaning, her hands unable to stay still on them. He noticed more than once one would begin to run down her own body, but she would force it back onto him.

He slipped one down her front, running it over her stomach, and finally over her clit. She gasped loudly, and he wrapped his other arm around her waist, pulling her close to keep her from moving. She squirmed, and he kept stroking her gently, able to thrust ever so slightly within her, slowly, tantalizingly rubbing against every bundle of nerves.

“Shi,” he breathed, kissing below her ear, “cum for me.”

She gasped, melting when his voice floated into her head, and cried out, “Nathan!” her body convulsing around him. It was more than enough to finish him off, and he came nuzzling her neck, his breath harsh as he groaned.

He fell back with her out of breath, staying inside her as she lay on top of him. Shilo made no attempt to move, simply lay there panting with him. Finally, after regaining her breath, she slipped off him, pulling the blanket up and then cuddling up to him, her naked body pressed to his side as he hand splayed on his chest and she closed her eyes.

Her veins were humming happily with warmed blood, her brain numb on the aftershocks of a pleasure high. All she could feel was the blanket, his hand as it fit against her lower back, and his warm skin. She inhaled, remembering the scent that had been missing in her room, and smiled as she began to drift.

Nathan, however, lay awake, unmoving, afraid to disturb her. As he stroked the very small of her back, all he could concentrate on was her voice, and his name on her lips.

Nathan. She had never called him Nathan. He felt the pit of his stomach tighten when he realized it wasn’t her voice in his head that was crying his name, but Marni’s, even if Shilo had said it. With a groan, he reached up and rubbed his temples, seeing memories of his long dead wife behind his eyes, when he should have been seeing images of his sleeping Shilo right next to him.