Answers

Title: Answers
Author: Lidane
Fandom: Star Trek XI
Pairing: Pike/Kirk
Rating: R for swearing and a heated makeout session
Disclaimer: If you think I own any of this or profit from it, seek help immediately.
Summary: Pike always knew about Kirk, but some things could only be answered in time. Told in second person POV.

A/N: Comment fic has become a habit for me, but it's a hell of a way to give the muses a workout so I can get back into writing again. Heh.

This was written over at st_respect on LiveJournal, and was a gift for Team Pirk. I’ve never written this pairing before, so please be gentle. :)

~~*~~

You immediately knew he was destined for greatness.

When you first saw Jim in that shitty Iowa dive the night before flying back to Starfleet with yet another shuttle full of fresh recruits and young cadets, you knew. As he lay there unconscious and you went over his files, there was that overriding sense that if you just gave him a push, he’d thrive. He was brilliant, but undisciplined -- a rough, tarnished ball of energy that just needed to be given the right direction. You could tell he didn’t believe a word coming out of your mouth, but you also saw something in those brilliant blue eyes that you suspected he didn’t even realize was there. Hope.

It was faint, but there. Some part of him wanted to believe you. Was it because no one had ever believed in him, or had given up on him? Was it because he’d given up on himself? You weren’t sure. Either way, it got under your skin and damn near broke your heart, but you’re not about to admit that to anyone, even under threat of torture.

Of course, he couldn’t admit it to himself either. He sat there, punch drunk and pissed off, and all but told you to fuck off and kiss his ass. You weren’t surprised by that. Disappointed? Sure. Surprised? Hardly.

You also had to stifle a laugh at the whole situation. If anyone from Starfleet had seen it, their head would have exploded.

You’d worked hard, built an impeccable career, and had earned your place as the Captain of the Federation’s new flagship, the USS Enterprise. Every cadet and officer at the Academy was damn near licking your boots and offering to blow you in your office to try and get on that ship, but Jim? He didn’t care at all. He just looked you in the eye and laughed at the whole idea of enlisting at all.

And God, did that ever turn you on. That part caught you completely off guard.

You suppose it made a strange sort of sense. With so many throwing themselves at you to get on the Enterprise, it would be the reluctant, hostile, beautiful man who wanted nothing to do with you or Starfleet that would rile you up something fierce.

To your credit, you hid it well, getting up and walking away from him when it was clear that your conversation was over. Back in your tiny motel room, however, the moment replayed in your mind over and over, like a holo on an infinite loop. Was it just a reaction to his defiance, or was there something deeper?

When he drove up at the last minute, the challenge still in his eyes, you decided then and there you’d work hard to figure out the answer, no matter how long it took.

~~*~~

The years passed and you watched Jim come into his own.

He was still brilliant and unpredictable, but your instincts had proven correct. With the right direction, he thrived. He was at the top of his class in Survival Strategies and Tactical Analysis. He was teaching advanced hand-to-hand. His stubborn refusal to believe in no-win scenarios had led to many unorthodox solutions to tactical problems that had become the scuttlebutt among many of your fellow senior officers. Everyone wanted him for their ship. You’d made it clear, however, that Kirk was yours. He’d be on the Enterprise and if anyone thought otherwise, they were sadly mistaken.

Then it all went to hell.

His “solution” to the Kobayashi Maru pissed you off. McCoy smuggling him on to your ship made it that much worse. When he ran onto the bridge ranting about how you were heading straight into a trap, you wanted to punch the little shit for cheating and almost ruining his own career despite all the faith you’d had in him. You were a half step from throwing both him and McCoy in the brig until you returned from Vulcan, but once again, Jim Kirk got under your skin. His determined arguments and appeals to your own research – and, by extension, your ego – convinced you he was right.

By the time it was all said and done, Vulcan was lost, Earth was saved, and you were facing an uncertain future due to your injuries. You’d even gotten kicked upstairs for your trouble which, for man like you, felt like a demotion. As for Jim, he’d gone above and beyond anything you’d ever thought possible. He’d even exorcised the ghost of his father’s legacy and replaced it with his own story. The biggest surprise for you, however, was the way things shifted between you.

You’re not sure when it happened or how, but you’ve never been a man to question providence.

Maybe it was in the way he visited during your physical therapy in the weeks between his official elevation to Captain and the Enterprise’s departure. Or it could have been the conversations over chess in the Starfleet officer’s lounge. It might have also been in the messages and video conferences from space, when he’d bounce situations off you and ask for your advice. Somewhere along the way, you and Jim went from mentor and student to colleagues, to friends. The final shift, from friends to lovers, takes both of you by surprise.

The shock isn’t that it happens. It’s in the intensity.

After almost three years of therapy and surgery, you’d finally gotten back on your feet, which had given you a whole new lease on life. You felt freer, and more at peace than you had in a long time, so when the Enterprise came back to Earth for some much needed retrofits and upgrades, you decided to finally make your move. Extending an invitation for Jim to join you out in Mojave while the ship was grounded was the easy part, and it was no surprise when he accepted. You knew from experience that after so much time in the black, he’d be more than ready for solid earth beneath his feet and seeing real sunrises and sunsets again. The hard part, at least in your mind, was in how you were going to seduce him.

You needn’t have worried about that.

You’d been standing in the middle of your office when the telltale swirling lights of a transporter went off behind you. Turning around, you cocked an eyebrow at Jim, who just shot you a self-satisfied grin. After that, it all happened quickly.

Instinct took over and you reached out, pulling Jim into your arms, your mouths slanting in a heated kiss that made your blood sing. Before you knew it, you had him pinned to the wall, your erections sliding against each other through your uniforms as you each reveled in the moans you pulled from the other. His fingers threaded into your hair as he circled his hips, increasing the friction between you, and you knew you were lost. Retaining just enough presence of mind to lock your office with your private overrides in place, you then focused on the gorgeous man in your arms, kissing and nibbling your way across his jaw and down to the cord in his neck. It’s when you felt his hands sliding under your shirt to caress your skin, however, that your brain shorted out and all you could hear was static. You groaned, and that was enough for the two of you to stop for a moment and really look at each other for the first time.

You’ve never been one for flowery language or poetry, but even you knew that that no matter what the two of you had been to each other over the years, nothing compared to that moment between you. It was solid. Real. Something that had started back in that shitty dive in Iowa, and which had only gotten stronger as time had passed.

Was it destiny? You didn’t know and it really didn’t matter. All you knew is that you’d finally gotten your answer, and you sensed that Jim had too.

In the end, that’s more than enough.

~~*~~