rate_review Reviews

Oh, please continue! I want to see what happens here! poor Hoggle!!

Very clever idea. It is something I have not seen done before. You have a good style that is coming out in your writing, but your writing is still very premature and has not matured along with you yet. There are many errors in this story that simple proof-reading would have caught, and though I know the feeling myself of how eager people are to put their story out there, show the courtesy to your fan base to proof over it at least once. No one is perfect, mistakes are made, but the more mistakes the more it detracts from the quality of the story. The mind fumbles over these, and I think I would have had more great things to say about this story if I hadn't tripped so much in reading through it. Please re-read, but also please continue! You are clever, and have ambition, you could make this not just great, but wonderful!

I love Labyrinth II Jareth's Revenge, but where is chapter 3, and 4, and 5... lol

You just can't leave me hanging.

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE write more!

PLEASE!!!!!

Very good, I foudn teh maid outfit slightly OOC on Jareth's part, but that's cool.

Wonderful story, im looking forward to seeing the third chapter, so if you could can you email me to let me know when its done with? thanks a bunch. Oh and by the way, you have a great writing style. ^_^ Update soon thanks.

I love this story so far!! Please, please keep it going!!!

Interesting story so far. Not the first to have Toby wish Sarah away (did it myself in my fiction) but you have to get her back there some how. At any rate, I know that you don't have a spell checker, but that doesn't stop you from proofreading your own work. Try it, it works wonders.

Hello,
Wow...your story is off to a great start. Before I move on to chapter 2 though, some more words. First, I'm okay with stories about nice gay couples whom truly love each other. One of my fave books in this genre is Annie On My Mind. Second, hehehe...I love Jareth and Sarah smut. I don't like stories in which pedophiles lust after children and teenagers. Ex- In Teen Titans, Slade or Blade?, the villain, how he mostly chases after Robin, then secondly, Raven. I prefer stories in which both lovers are 18 and up, but sometimes, there are a few nice ones in which the lovers are under 18. But they are mature enough to handle it. Well, on with the tale.
Jareth...=Salivates=

Hey...
!_!
There's no chapter 2.
You are more evil than the Jareth in your fanfic.
:P
Please finish.