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January 24, 2004 at 12:00 AM
yea! can't wait for more...poor will
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January 24, 2004 at 12:00 AM
please make the next installment appear quicker than this one did! You can't just leave us waiting for another month for chapter 6! More J/B and JackWill angst please!
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January 24, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Oh you are not seriously leaving it there!! *screams and begs for more*
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January 23, 2004 at 12:00 AM
YOU ARE EVIL!!! POSITIVELY EVIL I TELL YOU!!!! How can you do that to us? Just leave us like that WAITING on Barbossa's next move.....
I do hope you will update soon.
NEWENIT
I do hope you will update soon.
NEWENIT
schedule
January 23, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Ah, you cruel bastard! This is so deliciously sick and twisted, not to mention well written. Now if I have to bloody wait any longer I'll start getting violent!
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January 23, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Oh no! You can't stop there!!!!!!!!! Please update soon. This is one of my favorite stories from POTC, and I've been reading it since the beginning. It's very well-written, and really stands out. Keep up the good work!
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January 20, 2004 at 12:00 AM
Yes! Jack in a corset! *giggles*
great fic! mmm, jack/will. *drool*
please update this soon
great fic! mmm, jack/will. *drool*
please update this soon
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January 19, 2004 at 12:00 AM
HEY!!!!! come on you got do some more
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January 17, 2004 at 12:00 AM
I would have liked in this opening scene for Will to have even a one-line reflection that shows that he had feelings for Jack. It just kind of seems to pop up out owherwhere. And I would have liked a bit more detail on the swordfight.
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Nice job handling Will's partial realization.
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I'm a little curious as to why Will was the first thing that crossed Ana and Gibbs's mind when they realize that Barbossa has Jack. I don't understand why he's their first thought. I think if they're thinking that Barbossa wants him relating to the curse, that needed to be said.
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Not the very best chapter, but far from bad. :) KEEP WRITING.
Love,
Julie-Rae
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Nice job handling Will's partial realization.
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I'm a little curious as to why Will was the first thing that crossed Ana and Gibbs's mind when they realize that Barbossa has Jack. I don't understand why he's their first thought. I think if they're thinking that Barbossa wants him relating to the curse, that needed to be said.
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Not the very best chapter, but far from bad. :) KEEP WRITING.
Love,
Julie-Rae
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January 17, 2004 at 12:00 AM
"Jack swallowed hard at the sight. Two golden necklaces- no, collars!- lay inside." -- Oh dear God. When I first read it, I gasped, my hand flew to my mouth. How very very perfect. And the fact that the collars are golden only adds to my suggestion of adorning them later. You know, getting them special skimpy clothes or earrings or other jewelry. The jewelry would work exceptionally well on Will because his features are so effeminate. I can see him with a jeweled earring, and an slim anklet, perhaps maybe a bracelet. Of course as much as Jack would think Will was beautiful with it, he would also hate that Barbossa had decorated him. It would be interesting to play with. OH PLEASE WRITE SOME MORE!
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"Will, poised to jump back up, slowly sank down, glowering unhappily." -- You can just see it... He realizes exactly what implications his actions have before Barbossa says a bloody thing.
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Barbossa stroked his long nails down Jack's tanned, collared throat. "Ye'll be doing exactly what I say, or Jack'll be payin' the price." He leanedn sln slightly and licked Captain Sparrow from jaw to temple, an eye on the blacksmith. -- I could divide this paragraph into its sentences and comment on each individually, but I'll just do it like this. First of all, even though you didn't specify, in my mind he used the back of his nails, and then fingered the collar a bit. It's almost a more intimate gesture than the sex was. And the dialogue... chills! He's such an awful awful man... vile is the word that comes to mind. And licking Jack? It's such a powerfully disrespectful statement, again, driving it home: I own you. It was just an amazing exchange.
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"If you don't Will, he shall." Jack nodded, eyes fixed firmly on his young friend. -- I wouldn't have envisioned Jack using the word "shall," at least not there. It seems just a bit out of place, though the line is spectacular. He pulls out that low no-nonsense voice that he seldom uses.
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"The same thing I've done to Jack." Will swallowed hard, a shudder racing down his spine. -- That is a very powerful line. It's the bomb dropping for Will, Will's first look at just how deep the trouble they're in is. Plus, he realizes in that one second that Jack has most definitely been raped, that he's about to receive the same treatment, and that the only one who could save him is sitting 5 feet away in the same predicament. And all in 6 words. Beautifully written.
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SO *sniff* sweet.... Jack will try anything to save Will. Think about it. If Will had actually gotten away, can you even IMAGINE what Barbossa would have done to Jack?
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"Ye say one more thing, Cap'n Sparrow, an' I'll tie the whelp to the fuckin' mast!" He jerked the chair upright before grabbing a rag to gag him, tieing it tight. -- Well, "tieing" should be "tying" for starters, but... what a threat. I can hear Barbossa saying it and feel Jack'ash ash of terror, overtaken by the fury at Barbossa spread-eagling Will to the bed to be violated.
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You do these angsty chapters SO well!
Love,
Julie-Rae
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"Will, poised to jump back up, slowly sank down, glowering unhappily." -- You can just see it... He realizes exactly what implications his actions have before Barbossa says a bloody thing.
-
Barbossa stroked his long nails down Jack's tanned, collared throat. "Ye'll be doing exactly what I say, or Jack'll be payin' the price." He leanedn sln slightly and licked Captain Sparrow from jaw to temple, an eye on the blacksmith. -- I could divide this paragraph into its sentences and comment on each individually, but I'll just do it like this. First of all, even though you didn't specify, in my mind he used the back of his nails, and then fingered the collar a bit. It's almost a more intimate gesture than the sex was. And the dialogue... chills! He's such an awful awful man... vile is the word that comes to mind. And licking Jack? It's such a powerfully disrespectful statement, again, driving it home: I own you. It was just an amazing exchange.
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"If you don't Will, he shall." Jack nodded, eyes fixed firmly on his young friend. -- I wouldn't have envisioned Jack using the word "shall," at least not there. It seems just a bit out of place, though the line is spectacular. He pulls out that low no-nonsense voice that he seldom uses.
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"The same thing I've done to Jack." Will swallowed hard, a shudder racing down his spine. -- That is a very powerful line. It's the bomb dropping for Will, Will's first look at just how deep the trouble they're in is. Plus, he realizes in that one second that Jack has most definitely been raped, that he's about to receive the same treatment, and that the only one who could save him is sitting 5 feet away in the same predicament. And all in 6 words. Beautifully written.
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SO *sniff* sweet.... Jack will try anything to save Will. Think about it. If Will had actually gotten away, can you even IMAGINE what Barbossa would have done to Jack?
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"Ye say one more thing, Cap'n Sparrow, an' I'll tie the whelp to the fuckin' mast!" He jerked the chair upright before grabbing a rag to gag him, tieing it tight. -- Well, "tieing" should be "tying" for starters, but... what a threat. I can hear Barbossa saying it and feel Jack'ash ash of terror, overtaken by the fury at Barbossa spread-eagling Will to the bed to be violated.
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You do these angsty chapters SO well!
Love,
Julie-Rae