Succumb

TITLE: Succumb
AUTHOR: KellyB
AUTHOR EMAIL: kellyb701@hotmail.com
DATE WRITTEN: Autumn/Winter 2002 & Winter 2003
SPOILERS: The Phantom Menace, Attack of the Clones
RATING: NC-17
SUMMARY/TIME PERIOD: AOTC and a bit of Revenge of the Sith from Padmé's POV. This is a darker take on Anakin's courtship of Padmé. In this story he is much more active in his pursuit and not as innocently boyish in his actions and methods. If you want to read a Disneyfied story of Anakin and Padmé stop reading. This story focuses on the unhealthy aspect of their relationship. Namely that Anakin has a rather unhealthy fixation on Padmé. There's a bit of mental coercion, obsession, aggressive seduction, and sex. If easily offended – don't read it.
TYPE: Romance, erotica, seduction, heaps o'angst
DISCLAIMER: I worship the ground the Flanneled One walks upon and I intend no infringement on the Lucasfilm characters, situations, or storylines. I am making absolutely NO money off this so suing would really be pointless, dear George. This story is merely for the titillation of rabid Star Wars fans like me who have way too much time on their hands.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I have done my best to follow in the hallowed footsteps of George by utilizing the same formal speech patterns that Padmé uses in the movie. So basically this gal does not use a hell of a lot of contractions. Force thoughts are designated by: //thought//. Normal thoughts are designated by: {thought}. Direct lines from AOTC (movie or novel) appear in italics.


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Additional Note: Due to a site crash there were some formatting problems - an entire chapter missing, words scrambled, etc. This was only recently brought to my attention and I'm just now getting around to fixing them. I have NOT added or changed the story in anyway since I last updated it. When you edit even one word at AFF.Net the system bumps your story to the first page.
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Prologue: Sometime during Revenge of the Sith


"When lovely woman stoops to folly,
And finds too late that men betray,
What charm can soothe her melancholy,
What art can wash her guilt away?"

Oliver Goldsmith


Sometimes I cannot believe how much I have changed. The truth was once my faithful ally, my constant companion. Now I find myself wallowing in a bed of untruths, a bed that Anakin and I meticulously built together. It would be so easy to allow Anakin to shoulder the blame for everything, but my conscience will not allow it. But then, I ask myself, what is one more lie when so many have already been told? No, it is far too late for us to start being truthful. For if I was to open myself to the truth of our reality at this juncture my carefully crafted world would collapse.

Sometimes I cannot believe how little Anakin has changed. People who do not understand him, who do not know him as I do, think he has changed a great deal. They do not realize that he was always like this – deep down inside. My husband excels at the art of deception. He deceived Obi Wan Kenobi, Qui Gon Jinn, the Jedi Council, his fellow brethren, his own wife, and even himself.

The few people to whom I am truly close do not believe me when I tell them that Anakin Skywalker has given me more happiness and pleasure in these past few years than I could ever have imagined possible. They are only cognizant of the pain his actions have caused me. So I keep the growing sense of impending disaster to myself. There is no need to worry them when I know that nothing will change what is destined to happen.

I do not hate him. I could never hate Anakin. To hate him would be to deny him and that is something I cannot and will not do - at least not yet. I know the time of reckoning is fast approaching. The sun will soon set on the Republic, my marriage, my life, my Anakin. But in the time we have left, I treasure our love even as I hold on to the painful knowledge that too soon I will be forced to choose between Anakin and my hopes for the future. Whichever path I decide to follow the end result for Anakin and I will be the same. Neither of us will survive intact.

So I wait and I watch. I watch for Anakin to falter one last time; taking that last step that will damn his soul and shatter my heart into a million tiny fragments.

During the long sleepless nights, I occupy myself by remembering the past. I waste hours analyzing the events that led up to my present state. I reflect on that terrible, wonderful day when Anakin came back into my life. Once we met again was there a time when I could have escaped and forged a different path?

No, of course not.

The truth is it was too late for me the moment I stepped over the threshold of Watto’s shop and a little boy asked me if I was an angel.


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“If I should meet thee
After long years,
How shall I greet thee?
With silence and tears.”

Lord Byron


I was vulnerable the day Anakin came back into my life. Cordé’s death had hit me hard and I was not allowed time to mourn. I had to remain strong and resolute for the people I represented. My personal woes were unimportant when compared to the number of lives dependent upon my actions.

Anakin used that vulnerability to his advantage. He established one tiny foothold and forged on, ruthlessly breaching my defenses, determined to win me at all costs.

When he was a little boy Anakin had informed me that he was going to marry me. It was a sweet childish notion I had soon forgotten. But Anakin did not forget. The Force had told him of the future. Knowing we would meet again someday he had years to prepare to win me, to decide how best to go about making me fall in love with him.

I never stood a chance.


****


It never occurred to me that Anakin would be accompanying Master Kenobi that day, although it probably should have. In truth I had rarely thought about that little boy whom I met so long ago.

I greeted Obi Wan with pleasure remembering with gratitude the assistance he and his fallen Master had provided my world when last we had met. When I finally turned my gaze to the young Jedi Padawan hovering impatiently in the background I failed to recognize him. That he was disconcerted by my seeming indifference was apparent. It was that brief expression of impatience at my lapse that gave me pause and caused me to take a second glance. I caught a glimmer of that slave boy I had met in that hot, dirty shop on Tatooine long ago. Blue eyes in a little boy's face; eyes that had made a queen shift restlessly under their watchful gaze.

“Are you an angel?” He had asked.

My eyes widened in recognition. He stepped forward and I was shocked to realize he now towered over me. I had to tilt my head back in order to meet his eyes. There was a decided intensity to his gaze and my cheeks flushed pink under his scrutiny. Something sparked between us in those initial moments and I blinked in surprise. It happened so quickly I convinced myself later I had imagined it.

But Anakin saw it. He could see everything when it came to me.

My reaction seemed to encourage him for his expression changed. He looked at me then, not in the way one looks at an old acquaintance, but in the way a man looks at a woman he desires. There was a strange fluttering in my stomach as he held my gaze unwaveringly. The rest of the people in the room momentarily faded into the background and I had to force myself to continue as if nothing had happened.

Flustered and a bit embarrassed at my reaction to his smoky gaze, I intentionally wounded his pride by remarking that I would always think of him as a little boy. It was his turn to turn red. Annoyance and hurt flared in those piercing blue eyes before he recovered himself and managed to settle his expression back into a mask of stoic Jedi calm.

I would come to hate that inscrutable expression. It hid too much.


****


Something odd lurked beneath the surface of Obi Wan and Anakin’s relationship. Beneath the respect and affection I detected a disturbing undercurrent of resentment and jealousy on Anakin’s part.

I listened in bemusement to their tense exchange as the arrogant Jedi Padawan attempted to turn the predetermined limits of their mandate into a more active role. It was an overzealous and rather obvious attempt to impress me. It was also a presumptuous breach of etiquette and it clearly was not the first time that Obi Wan had been required to rebuke his charge for such behavior.

The Jedi and their ways were not overly familiar to me then despite the brief time I had spent in their company during Naboo’s trouble with the Trade Federation. However I did know that a Padawan did not contradict his Master in private let alone in front of outsiders. Feeling uncomfortable at both the tension between the two Jedi and with Anakin’s increasingly ardent glances, I made my escape under the guise of wishing to retire.

Anakin’s piercing blue eyes followed me the entire way, boring into my back, willing me to turn around. I suppressed a shiver and fought the urge to look back at him one last time. It was unnerving.

When the chamber door slid shut I slumped back against it with relief, letting the odd tension slowly ease. Releasing a breath I had not realized I had been holding, I took a moment to compose myself then pushed away from the door. I had taken no more than two or three steps when I was stopped short as the oddest feeling came over me.

My head filled with a soft humming and I felt the sensation of a whisper-light caress against the back of my neck. With a gasp I spun around. Of course there was no one there. As suddenly as it had started the humming noise abruptly ceased. Ever practical, I shook my head ruefully at my over active imagination. I vowed to get a good nights rest and called for Dormé.

That was the beginning. The foothold was established, the campaign had begun, and I was the prize.