Life After Egypt

This has not been beta'd, and probably won't be. I just wanted to branch out a bit, and I'm just trying my hand at something different. I sat down to write a HP fic that I've been working on, got two pages into a chapter, and suddenly, all I could think about was Transformers, and how pissed I am that Megan Fox didn't come back for DOTM. So, my HP fic got pushed to the side for a few mins, while I let this plot bunny take over. I can't promise how quickly I'll update this, but you'll get it as it comes to me. Hope you enjoy.

"Optimus? I need to go to the store. Do you want to take me, or should I walk?"

I know what he'll say. But, I really wish, just once, he'd let me pretend to be normal. You know, let me walk, then follow at a safe distance.

"I'll be ready momentarily."

But, Optimus doesn't even given me the illusion of normalcy. I understand, he's horribly protective, and he's charged himself with my safety, but still…

I curse Sam Witwicky for the millionth time. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be in this situation. Of course, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have found such a great friend in Optimus either. So, maybe I shouldn't curse him quite so often.

You see, he likes to tell everyone that I left him. And, maybe, technically, that's true, but Carly had a lot to do with that. No, he didn't cheat on me, but I knew it was coming. When you've been with someone as long as I was with him, you just know certain things. Like, when his thoughts are with someone else. I don't blame him; she's an attractive, intelligent, leggy woman. I would hate her, if I didn't know she worships him. I'd hate him, if I didn't know how much he loves her.

No, Carly isn't the reason I curse Sam daily (or hourly, depending on my mood). The reason I do that, is because I'm basically a recluse, living in a drafty warehouse, big enough to accommodate everything I own, plus three or four Autobots. Currently, there's just one, but if the threat is high enough, more are assigned for Mikaela-Duty.

Apparently, the Decepticons didn't get the memo that I'm no longer Sam's girl. How? I don't know, because during the last robot-induced-near-apocalypse, they kidnapped Carly. Maybe they think he's a big enough stud to have two women. I don't know, but after so many attempts on my life - that I survived by sheer luck - and one kidnapping, it was decided that I should always have protection.

So, I was assigned an Autobot. All was well. Mirage lived in my driveway; I got a free ride wherever I wanted to go. Then, my trailer was ransacked while I was out, and one of the sneaky bastards managed to evade Mirage's scan. It had something to do with the residual energy strength being too strong for him to detect a Decepticon so small. Anyway, we were lucky - again - I was able to fry the little asshole myself. Yeah, don't mess with a bitch who's been face to face with Megatron.

But, that was the end of my, relatively private, life. I was moved to this warehouse, and Optimus moved in. Did the government want to hand over the Prime to baby-sit me? Most certainly not. Did he leave them no choice? Of course, this is Optimus Prime we're talking about. He still works for our government, and on occasion, will leave for a few days on a mission. But, then I'm assigned two overbearing transformers, and sometimes I don't even know them. So, yeah, as over-protective as he is, I'd rather have Optimus.

The worst part about all this, is having a vehicle that I can't even tinker with. Honestly, I know absolutely nothing about what goes on in that mechanical body of his. Even when Optimus is in truck-mode, all his internal workings are so foreign to me. Yeah, I know, he's an alien. Still, it's more than a little upsetting to lift his hood, and feel like an utter idiot. But, I've almost talked him into giving me Autobot maintenance lessons.

No, wait, the worst part is the lack of any sort of relationship, outside this strange machine/human thing I have with Optimus. Oh, don't get me wrong, he's a great conversationalist, and most definitely my best friend. It's also not so bad living with a 'guy' who is totally unaffected by seeing me stroll through our 'house' in nothing but a t-shirt. But, a girl has needs, you know? So, I'd like to spend a little time with a guy (or girl, hey, I'm not picky) who would be affected. Optimus will simply not allow it, unless he's present, and wouldn't that just kill the mood?

There's a honk from the front doors, and I know Optimus is finished oiling his joints. As I step into the bright sun, I can see his hologram 'sitting' in the driver's seat. With a sigh, I heave myself in on the other side and slam the door.

"The least you could do is let me pretend to drive."

The cool leather is nice against my heated skin, but I know, even with the air going, it will soon start sticking, and cause me to sweat even more. This has been the hottest summer in recent history, and it doesn't look like it's letting up anytime soon. It's so hard to cool our makeshift 'house,' that I've taken to sleeping inside Optimus. Supposedly, he's working on getting us somewhere better to live. He says I'll be safer, and more comfortable. But, I have yet to see the place he speaks so highly of.

His voice flows silkily from the speakers. "We've discussed this, Mikaela. It would look entirely out of place for you to be driving."

"You do realize that it's also a bit odd for me to be riding, right? Come on, Opitmus, holo-you looks like a perv." I know what's coming next; remember, we've had this conversation - numerous times.

"The image that you see is not me. It is merely a projection I can manifest to fool the outside world. If you try to touch it, your hand will not make contact. While it is not impossible for us to transform into humans, Autobots such as myself, are too large for it to be believable. Even if I compacted to my limit, I would still be taller than any human to ever live."

As many times as he's said that to me, I've never asked him to do it. I've always wanted to, and today I'm even more bored than ever.

"Would you do it for me? I just want to know what you'd look like."

He chuckles, as he makes a left turn. "I would look like whichever human I scan. I'd just be quite a bit larger than they are."

"You could scan me. I'd like to see myself 40 foot tall and bulletproof."

He laughs again, as he pulls into the local grocery store parking lot.

"I'm not bulletproof; I'm just hard to penetrate."

And, oh the jokes I could make with that line.

"Optimus-"

"Don't say it. Whatever raunchy, human thought just popped into your head, just do not say it. Go, get whatever it is that you need, and get back here - quickly. I am not getting any readings that would indicate danger nearby, but it is best not to take any chances."