Succumb

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"By the pricking of my thumbs,
something wicked this way comes."

William Shakespeare


I dreamt of fire. Orange-yellow flames that crackled and hissed. Long licking fingers of blazing heat that singed my flesh, scorching it black. Indescribable pain that refused my release. The inferno consumed everything I touched; everything and everyone I loved.

I dreamt of a figure cloaked in black. A faceless figure who spoke to me in harsh whispers as it walked hand in hand with death. The evil creature reached out with a gloved hand and destroyed everything it touched; destroyed all that was good.

Murmured voices in the dark; swirling around me like a spectral fog.

{WecouldkeepitasecretthegreatestjedievermarrymeIwon'tfailagain}

The sickly sweet stench of death reached out its vapory fingers to burn my nostrils and invade my lungs. The cloying odor clung to my clothes and hair.

Anakin was gone and the dark thing wanted my soul. And I knew that there was no place that I could run; no place that I could hide where it would not find me.

It would always come for me. Always.


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"These pretty pleasures might me move
To live with thee and be thy love."

Sir Walter Raleigh


Something brushed lightly against my cheek, tickling my skin like the delicate wings of a Nubian glimmerfly. The touch dragged me back from the realm of that disturbing dream. Irritably, I wiped at my face to push aside what I sleepily supposed was an errant strand of hair.

Half awake, I rolled onto my back, flinging my arm out to the side. My hand landed atop something warm and solid – something that shifted slightly beneath it.

I jerked my hand back, turning my head quickly to find Anakin sitting next to me. He was reclining comfortably against the pillowed headboard with his long legs casually stretched out before him as if he had every right to be there. In the dim night cycle light I could see that he was wearing nothing but his sleep pants.

Disoriented, I scrambled to sit up, calling out for the next level of light. The chrono showed that I had been asleep for barely more than a standard hour.

A sense of déjà vu swept over me as I recalled that night on Coruscant when Anakin had come to me after giving chase to the assassin droid; how he had appeared suddenly in the open doorway.

My gaze shifted slowly to where the door of my cabin stood open. The status light on the code panel glowed green as it only did when the proper code had been entered to unlock it. I drew in an unsteady breath as realization set in.

Anakin followed the direction of my gaze.

"My door was locked." I said in a flat voice.

Amusement flared in his eyes at my unspoken question. He made a valiant effort to keep the smug grin from his face but was not quite successful. After a moment he gave up and his shoulders shook with laughter. It was not a mocking laugh but it rang harshly in my ears.

"Oh gods, Padmé, did you really think that I couldn't get past something as simple as a coded lock? You don't have to be a Jedi for that."

I ducked my head, my mouth tightening as I realized how naïve I had been. All that time, every since Anakin had moved into the stateroom, I had been laboring under a false sense of security. The one place that I had thought of as my refuge, my sanctuary, had been an illusion; one in which Anakin had allowed me to believe in until he deemed it necessary to shatter.

Anakin suddenly shifted to sit in a crossed leg position facing me. A firm hand cupped my chin and tilted my face up so that I was looking directly into Anakin's glittering eyes; those fathomless eyes that looked at me as if I were his everything.

A glimmer of uncertainty crossed his face, vanishing almost as soon as it had appeared. But it had been there. The idea that Anakin might not be as sure of himself as he wanted me to think was almost too difficult to reconcile with the man I knew.

"Anakin, I think you should leave."

That brief flicker of doubt lent me hope that he might listen to me for once. I might have been talking to myself for all the good my request did.

Anakin leaned in towards me with predatory grace. Though the move was unhurried, almost casual, I noted the sudden tensing of his muscles. I was instantly and uncomfortably reminded of the nexu as it had readied to pounce.

"You don't mean that."

I stared at him with growing alarm. The distressing thing was that Anakin was right. It was taking a monumental effort on my part not to give in to the urge to touch the tantalizing expanse of his smooth chest; to not reach out to trace the taut muscles that rippled when he moved.

I suppressed those traitorous thoughts even as my stomach clenched with unwanted excitement. Once again I wondered how I could hunger so much for what I had gone my entire adult life without. My need for Anakin was growing, not lessening, like an addict's need for spice.

Engrossed with my internal struggle, I hardly noticed when Anakin reached out and took one of my hands between his. I was mildly surprised to find that, unless I deliberately thought about it, I could not tell which one was the metal appendage and which was flesh and blood. I swallowed nervously as his fingers began tracing lazy circles across the back of my imprisoned hand.

Anakin held my gaze with a hint of a smile. The combination of leisurely strokes and his smoldering eyes was hypnotic. Time meant nothing as that moment stretched out, closing out the rest of the galaxy as if only we existed.

My heart was hammering furiously at his touch. I struggled to pull away but Anakin's grip merely tightened, holding me fast.

A faint humming tingle rose to caress my mind. I shook my head sharply in an attempt to clear the growing fogginess that was quickly clouding my thinking. My awareness of my surroundings decreased as deep blue eyes pulled me into a whirling maelstrom. I had the distinct impression that the room had started to tilt and spin. The only thing keeping me from being overcome by vertigo was Anakin's touch. As my disorientation increased my free hand frantically scrabbled to clutch at the large hands still holding my other hostage.

"Anakin, please......go." Desperation tinged my words and I felt a little sick from the dizziness.

The air stirred around me as if moved by a gentle breeze. The sensation that the room continued to spin drunkenly increased.

Anakin's voice seemed to be everywhere at once; behind me, above me. His tone gentle and reassuring but steely with determination.

"I'm not leaving, Padmé."

Memories of what had happened earlier in the day came rushing back to taunt me. There would be no fortuitous interruption by some unlucky officer with a message from Obi Wan this time. With a moan, I squeezed my eyes shut to force back the memories of Anakin's smoldering expression as he tried to coax me into admitting how much I wanted him; the silken feel of his skin beneath my fingertips. The fire within me that Anakin had first ignited and then tended so carefully crackled to life with a fierce bellow that left me breathless.

The taste of Anakin was in my mouth; I could feel his body pressing against mine. At first I thought it was my imagination, a fantasy created by a dazed mind; until I felt cold metal at my back, the carpeted floor beneath my bare feet.

My eyes snapped open to find that my reality had altered. I stared in horrified awe at the Jedi who had just moved me over three meters without detectable means. I leaned heavily against the wall at my back as my legs began to tremble uncontrollably. Anakin loomed over me, our bodies just centimeters apart.

He looked pleased with himself. A seductive smile played on his lips as he waited and watched. Confusion laced my expression as I tried to puzzle out the reason for the move.

//I thought we'd start where we left off//

I did not notice that he mindspoke to me. I was too busy trying to remember how to breathe.

The memory of Anakin using the Force to steal the shuura fruit from my plate played like a holovid before my eyes. Anakin had told me that Obi Wan would be displeased if he knew that he was using his powers for such trivial and playful purposes. How much more displeased Obi Wan would be if he knew his apprentice was using the Force for purposes of seduction and physical manipulations.

I could feel the heat from Anakin's body against my skin through the thin material of my nightgown. His very nearness was playing havoc with my senses. I opened my mouth to say something, anything to stop from being drawn into that forbidden dance but my voice refused to obey.

There must be something intrinsically wrong with me, I thought. How else to explain how the girl who had stood strong as the leader of her people throughout the horror of the Trade Federation crisis and the woman who had survived in the cut throat world of galactic politics with her integrity still intact could be undone by one man? In all other aspects of my life I was independent and strong-willed but when Anakin touched me I became someone I did not recognize. I became a woman who craved the mastery of her body at the hand's of another.

Perhaps, like Anakin, something inside me was warped or broken too and I had just never realized it before.

Anakin brought his lips to rasp sensuously against my ear.

"Nothing else matters. The Jedi Council can't dictate human feelings and they will not tell us that we can't love. I won't let them be my masters in this."

Anakin's hot breath tickled my ear and neck sending tiny shivers across my skin. I moaned as he traced the curve of my ear with his tongue and then worked his way down my neck with seductive precision. My grip on his shoulders tightened sending my fingernails to bite sharply into his bare skin. Anakin exhaled with a hiss of pain but the way his body shuddered against mine told me that he welcomed it. And then it was my turn to gasp as his teeth sank into that spot on my neck that turned my bones into liquid fire and made me crawl out of my skin with want.

All my pretty, noble speeches about duty and responsibility crumbled to dust; the words meaningless and empty. Where Anakin was concerned there was no sensible Padmé. He ignited a burning fever in my blood for which there was no cure. And it occurred to me that I did not really want one.

Anakin drew back to look fiercely at me. His eyes bore into mine.

"Tell me you want this, Padmé. Tell me you want this as much as I do."

I knew what he wanted and why. Anakin was consumed with the need to dominate and possess me. He had used every weapon in his arsenal in his crusade to make me his. I knew he was fully aware that he had succeeded in his quest. How could he not be when he was the other half of me? But he still wanted to hear it from my own lips. He wanted to know that he had won.

"Yes, please." I answered in a barely audible voice.

Yet another door slid shut.

It did not matter nor did I care.

Hard lips seized mine and the last stone in the defensive wall that I had erected to keep Anakin at bay was kicked aside. My long held beliefs of who I was and what my life was meant to be were exposed to the light to shrivel and die. Up was down; right had become left and wrong was suddenly right.

My only thought as Anakin lifted me up was that the Jedi Council and the Senate could go to the hells of Naboo.

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"Tomorrow do thy worst
For I have lived today."

John Dryden


//To the hells of Naboo//

Had those words been mine or Anakin's? There was no time to linger on that confusing thought. In an eye blink I was born back against the cabin wall where my body contacted the hard surface with a dull thud. My expelled breath was swallowed greedily by Anakin as he continued to move his lips against mine with bruising passion.

I had made my decision. Why did I suddenly feel like crying?

Crushing me to the wall, he slid his hands down the backs of my thighs to draw my knees up to either side of his waist. He did not bother breaking the kiss to tell me what he wanted me to do.

//Wrap your legs around me//

I did as he requested automatically without thought or question. I was consumed with the need to possess and be possessed.

Anakin was all that existed. Anakin - my everything.

Smooth skin over bone and hard muscle met my inner thighs. Anakin's heat enveloped me; seeping into my pores, penetrating my skin, settling deep within my being. Shimmersilk glided up in a silky kiss as my nightgown was pushed out of the way to bunch around my hips. When Anakin ground his arousal against me through the thin barrier of his sleep pants my head fell back against the wall and I moaned low in my throat.

Want and need were clawing at my belly like an animal trapped.

Oh gods, it hurt so much.

{Please make the pain go away}

Eyes burning with hungry desire swam dizzily in front of me as Anakin drew back with a ragged breath. They bore into mine, piercing my defenses and stripping me bare. The intensity of his gaze held the same overwhelming mixture of love, lust and possession that had been present from the moment we had met again. A frisson of the old fear shot through me and my throat constricted.

To be possessed was one thing, to be a possession quite another.

A thousand screams rang in my ears. Blue eyes begged for absolution in the cold air of a Tatooine night.

Remembered words flitted about in my head like shadowed apparitions. Unsettling reminders of my misgivings and doubts rose up to taunt me.

{I won’t let you go}

Anakin's cheek nuzzled mine with rough insistence; his lips dragging across my cheekbone. He brought his mouth to hover close to my ear. Warm breath feathered against my skin and stirred my hair like a gentle spring breeze.

"Padmé, don't try to lock me out again."

A shudder of apprehension ran through me as Anakin followed his warning with a soft kiss against my hair; a kiss that was vaguely sinister beneath the gentleness of the action. His ability to make a threat sound like a seductive caress only served to feed my reawakened fears.

//Understand. Never again//

A leaden weight took up residence in my chest making it difficult to catch my breath. The sensation of spinning returned with a vengeance as a dull roar filled my ears. I tangled my fingers in his short blond hair in a panicked attempt to ground myself. All my senses were heightened to the point of pain. I was overwhelmed with stimuli.

Cold wall at my back.

Thick hair bristling between clutched fingers.

Staggered breathing against my neck.

Harsh pants sounding from my overtaxed lungs.

Throbbing heat pressing against me at the juncture of my thighs.

Blazing eyes that burned with an inner fire.

Anakin's taste in my mouth.

Unintelligible whimpers rose from me as Anakin started to lick and bite at my ear and the sensitive skin below. I gave myself over to instinct, letting my hips rock rhythmically against him. Each movement brought me in tortured contact with his hard length. I whispered his name on a sigh.

Ghostly words continued to rise up to nudge persistently at my mind as I fought the vertigo threatening to drag me down.

"I will do anything you ask/"

Anything except letting me go, I thought wildly.

Anakin groaned into the side of my neck before continuing his trailing descent to the base of my throat where he drew the already bruised skin into his hot mouth. He worried the tender skin with his teeth, walking the knife's edge between pleasure and pain. The blood hammered in my ears almost drowning out the deep growls coming from Anakin.

Hard hands tightened their grip on my shoulders holding me steady under his searching mouth.

{You should be very afraid of me}

I squeezed my eyes shut against the memory of Anakin that night on Tatooine. How his eyes had been cold and empty yet burning with anger. How he had used his superior height and strength to imprison me against the rough wall of the garage. How he had almost…..

A choked cry tore past my lips as Anakin suddenly sank his teeth deep into the skin at my pulse point. It was the very same area that he had earlier marked and left bruised and tender.

Something primal deep inside me answered the call of his savage act and there was a rush of wet heat between my thighs. Anakin's hands held me fast as I trembled violently against him, his tongue continuing to flick over the broken skin while his lips applied hot, wet suction hungrily.

The evidence of my response was slick against his stomach; the front of his pants damp from my excitement; proof that my body thirsted for his touch whether it was gentle or rough. He knew that I had enjoyed what he had just done and it excited him. And gods help me, it excited me too.

{Tell me you want this as much as I do}

Anakin lifted his head to stare into my stunned eyes. Our labored breathing drowned out the faint but ever present hum of the ship's engines as he searched my face with a knowing smile playing on his lips. One hand slipped from its vise-like grip on my shoulder to yank impatiently at the drawstring of his pants. Seconds later the offending article of clothing fell to the floor and was kicked aside.

Something warm trickled down my chest from the point where my skin still stung and throbbed. Anakin leaned in, stopping its further descent with the tip of his tongue. A wordless sigh was forced from me as his tongue rasped upwards to the inflicted wound. Suddenly gentle lips and tongue worked in tandem to sooth the angered flesh.

//Padmé. My Padmé//

Murmured words in my head - seducing and luring me to a place I should never have gone.

//Anakin//

A strangled moan came from him, the sound vibrating against my flesh, and an unexpected realization struck me. For the first time I became aware that I had a measure of power over Anakin. It was my touch, my kisses that he craved like a man who had gone too long without sustenance. It was for me that his breath grew labored and his body trembled and quickened. It was me he wanted and loved despite the terrible consequences such feelings could bring down upon his head; upon both of our heads.

"It would destroy our lives."

I ruthlessly shunted that echoed warning aside as the passionate fire continued to rise within. Those long licking flames from the depths of my nightmare rose higher and higher making music like a hellish choir that drowned out the whispered words.

I just wanted to feel; to stop thinking and just BE.

With his short ponytail in one hand and his Padawan braid in the other, I tugged his head up. My hands were unsteady as they slid forward to gently frame the face that haunted my dreams and held me enthralled as no one else ever had or ever would.

Claws ripped me from the inside out. Loving Anakin meant so much hurt. Not loving him meant something worse - an emotional death.

The words came from nowhere and I was taken back by how easily they tripped off my tongue.

“Tee’ana et na loska milé tu’et.” I whispered as I lost myself in his scorching gaze.

Anakin's reaction was immediate. A deep growl laced with triumph and lust rumbled in his chest as his body shook in response to my provocation. Hot blue eyes sparked wildly; hands slid to grip my waist.

"Bey ni ma'hal su no'le re'tá." He responded through clenched teeth; his face almost unrecognizable with want.

Hard fingers bit into the flesh at my hips. In one swift fluid motion, Anakin thrust upwards to roughly push himself inside of me. My head snapped back, slamming against the wall. A cry was torn from my lips as my body strained painfully to accommodate the wanted invasion.

My name hovered on Anakin's lips; his breath hissing as he began to move. Using the wall for leverage, he plunged into me with wild abandon, sheathing himself deep within my eager body with each powerful thrust. I sighed with wanton pleasure and fell back into that sensuous dance once more.

This was right. This was real. How could if be forbidden?

Anakin took possession of my mouth in a searing kiss that devoured me with an insatiable hunger. The coppery taste of my blood lingered as he slid his insistent tongue inside to twine with mine in a rough caress. I moaned into his mouth. Fiery heat was building, coiling up from the pit of my stomach to burn me alive.

"…the kiss you never should have given me."

Anakin moved down to ravage my neck, alternating kisses and bites. His teeth scraped across my skin, leaving more marks that I would be forced to hide. The feel of his tongue, wet and warm, curled my toes and wrung mewling whimpers that excited him further.

The sound and smell of sex hung heavily around us. The heady mixture of sweat, musk, and liquid heat serving as an intoxicating stimulant that was quickly pushing me close to the edge. The slick sound of desire created by our bodies was tempered only by my cries and the low moans from Anakin.

He pawed impatiently at the shimmersilk that still covered my breasts. With a snarl of frustration, my arms were forcefully wrenched up over my head. In a blur of motion my nightgown was stripped from my body. I gasped as my naked flesh finally came in full contact with Anakin's hot skin.

Anakin's mouth descended to my breasts; tongue and teeth working to tease and torment the swollen peaks. I whimpered between increasingly ragged breaths. Every synapse in my brain was short circuiting as the sweet pressure continued to build toward a breathtaking crescendo.

Thinking was impossible. Reacting to the primal instinct to couple was the only reality. Every stroke wound me tighter and tighter until I thought I would go out of my mind. Anakin was hitting the same sweet spots that he had that night in the library, sending light and heat to every part of my body.

//Den il na kile’ah su nom teir//

I careened towards the summit but was not allowed to fall. Anakin kept me teetering on the edge of the oblivion that my body and mind were crying out for. Nothing existed but the exquisite friction and heat created as he moved inside me. Pleasure mixed with an all consuming need for release. My body shook with the tension of being forced to balance between pain and ecstasy. Anakin seemed intent on my blissful torture and I heard myself begging him to let me fall.

{I think I rather like to hear you beg, milady}

Daggers of exquisite pain lanced through me as Anakin continued to plunder my body. Deep within I felt my muscles start to tighten around his hard length. A deep growl of satisfaction rose from Anakin.

"Now, Padmé, I want to watch you." He ordered in a thick voice.

Those words spoken in that commanding yet seductive tone set me free. The dam broke and hard, sweet waves washed over my body. The mewling noises that spilled from my lips graduated to screams as the hot pulses of pleasure spiraled out in ever widening ripples from my core. Anakin watched me with reverence, wonder and continued lust as I thrashed against his body.

Before the last of the shuddering tremors that wracked my body had even begun to fade, Anakin was crying out and increasing his pace. He angled himself to go deeper; bruising my thighs and churning my insides as he pounded into me furiously. Flesh met flesh as he chased his own release.

Anakin threw back his head and screamed my name, crushing me against the wall as his body bucked, exploding inside of me. Molten heat filled me as Anakin poured himself into my womb. Another wave of incredible pleasure rose and crested, taking me by surprise. My muscles spasmed violently, a final hoarse cry was stolen from my exhausted body. Reflexively, I dug my fingernails into Anakin's shoulders, raking my nails down his chest; drawing blood from one of the scratch marks that went too deep.

When rational thought became possible again, I found myself slumped against Anakin; still sandwiched between his trembling body and the wall. Our damp bodies shook with the aftershocks of our feral mating. Our haggard breathing sounded like thunder in the otherwise quiet room.

I lifted my head to stare in dazed fascination at the blood welling up from the wound that I had inflicted. I raised my eyes to find Anakin's head still thrown back and his eyes closed, the cords of his neck working furiously. The sound of his harsh panting filled my ears as I slowly bent my head to his chest and gently licked the droplets away.

Muscles bunched and rippled beneath my hands as they slid over his glistening skin. Anakin let out a stuttering groan before whispering my name in supplication.

I smiled against his chest and rested my cheek against his damp skin. A wave of exhausted contentment washed over me. Anakin's arms came up to cradle me, one hand tenderly stroking my hair.

//Mine, Padmé. Never forget that//

With those words I knew no more.