Finding Home

A special “Thank You” to Grace Lee, and Ero Sennin. Your kind words and glowing reviews keep me excited about writing this story, though I don't know if I'm quite up to the task of keeping it going 'forever'. :) There are certainly a couple more chapters yet to come though.

Enjoy!
psyche b

10 After Words

This part was new for Hellboy. Before, Agent Whoever would retreat to catch her breath and he would get up and shower. Usually, by the time he got out she would be gone. If she wasn't it meant that she couldn't find some item of clothing or other. Once she found it, she would leave without so much as a “Thanks very much”. He knew Bethany wouldn't do that, but knowing and experiencing were two different things.

When he got back from turning on the water he sat up a little more than before, and she rested against his side, her arm around his waist, her head against the front of his shoulder. Her face was hidden in the curtain of her hair for the moment. He'd seen her lay like that before, in fact it had become a position that was comfortable for both of them, but now there was something different about it. As he looked down at her, she seemed so....broken. Maybe he got that impression from the little tremors that coursed through her body whenever she moved, or from the scent of her blood that hung in the air around them, commingling with the scent of arousal and spent pleasure. Course he knew where that blood came from. He'd used the running bathwater to wash it off of his skin before getting back into bed with her. The scent seemed too strong though.

“Stop that.” Her voice was still groggy.

“What? I'm not doin' anything.” He looked down at the top of her head. She moved so that she could look up at him.

“Yes you are. You're worrying.” She smiled a little.

“And just how the hell do you know that?” Damned if she wasn't that kind of psychic.

“When you worry you get tense, and when you get tense-” She paused. “Well it's kinda like trying to snuggle up to a warm statue.”

“I got any other tells you wanna share?” He couldn't help the little smile that started to tug the edges of his mouth upwards.

“Nope.” She kissed the side of his chest lightly. The feeling of her lips on his skin sent a wave of slowly spreading pleasure down his spine.

“No, I ain't got any, or no you ain't gonna tell me?” His stone fingertips drifted lightly over her back. All he could see in the darkness was the contrast between her pale skin and his red body. She arched under his touch. He recognized it as something she did when she was comfortable.

“Yeah, something like that.” She smirked.

“You just wait 'til you're okay-” He lifted her chin. She kissed him softly.

“I AM okay.” She kissed him again, her lips lingering on his. “How much longer until the tub is full?”

“Awhile.” He did his best to keep the hungry demand out of his kiss. He almost succeeded. Bethany's nervous little whimper cooled his growing need.

“Sorry, I-” She murmured. His mouth found hers again, holding hers until she relaxed against him again.

“Want me to wake you?” His lips brushed hers again.

“Yeah.” She snuggled close for a minute and then raised her head again.

“What's wrong?”

“Just a little cold.” She started looking for something. He grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her.

“Better?”

“Much.” She snuggled against him again. He felt her soft sigh as much as he heard it.

Hellboy decided that he liked this part.

*~*~*~*~*~*

As she lay against him, listening to water running in the bathroom, Bethany began to wonder if she had it in her to just walk in there naked. She kept telling herself that it shouldn't matter, but somehow it still did. She didn't realize she looked worried until his fingers stoked lightly over her furrowed brow. Bethany sighed and closed her eyes, letting him smooth her skin again.

She wasn't sure how long they lay there. The white noise of the water running, the comforting weight of his tail and the way his fingertips delicately explored her face as if for the first time put Bethany into a kind of warm trance. When his hand stopped moving, Bethany almost whimpered.

“Sounds like the tub's full.” He kissed her softly and got up. “You want a snack?” He asked over his shoulder as he walked. There were moments when Red seemed completely oblivious to anything as ephemeral as shyness or embarrassment. This wasn't one of those times. Bethany grabbed the shirt she'd been wearing. The pain that shot through her shoulder nearly made her stop. She managed to get the garment on before he came back out.

“No thanks.” She smiled in spite of the myriad of aches that made themselves known as she moved. He came over and kissed her again, her lips easily parted for his tongue. She sighed against his mouth.

“Wanna get in first? You can step down onto the bench.” He sat on the bed in front of her.

“Bench?” Bethany asked.

“You didn't look when you went in there?”

“No, but I didn't go through your medicine cabinet either.” She smirked.

“Wouldn't have been any fun. It's empty.” He smiled back.

“I should've known.” Bethany thought of the jumbled mess on the countertop and laughed. He stroked her cheek. She kissed the inside of his wrist. “Give me a couple minutes?”

“Sure.” He kissed her forehead and went to rummage around in the fridge.

Bethany's first few steps were made halting and timid by the throbbing ache between her legs. The sensation seemed to ease as she moved though. By the time she reached the bathroom it had receded to a dull, tolerable soreness. Bethany eased the shirt off without raising her arm and then started looking through the mess on the counter for some aspirin or something. Given his healing factor, she doubted he would have any, but she figured it wouldn't do any harm to look. Bethany searched without touching anything for the most part. She had learned that most of Red's chaos was only chaotic to other people. He usually knew precisely where everything that was important to him was located, even if it was under something else. The glimpse she caught of her own reflection stopped her mid-search.

She could hear him still out in the other room, supposedly searching for something to snack on. She knew he was giving her time to get comfortable in the tub, and that's what she should have been doing. Her reflection was shocking though. Bethany expected to see the scars on her arm, and the healing bruises from the goblin incident. She remembered him biting her shoulder earlier in the evening, but actually seeing the damage made her stop and stare.

He'd broken the skin in several places along the front and back of the 'meat' of her shoulder and apparently it had bled for awhile because dried blood was smeared over her back and down her front to just above the swell of her breast. Purple bruises bloomed from the scabbed centers of the wounds. The deepest ones were still oozing a little.

“You want anything?” He called.

“Ah, just some juice if you have any.” Bethany tore herself away from the mirror and got into the tub carefully.

She hesitated to call it a bathtub. It was the size of a four-person hot tub and was sunken into the floor. The water was already rushing and swirling invitingly. Bethany closed her eyes and sighed as it closed over her shoulders. She rubbed at her shoulder softly, hoping to make it look less awful by cleaning the blood away.

“Had some orange juice.” He set the small bottle of juice and a can of beer down near her and stepped into the water.

Bethany had to kneel on the bench to compensate for the rapidly rising water level. She drank some of the juice while she waited for him to get comfortable. When he put his left hand on her waist, she moved back against him again. He lifted and turned her so that she could straddle his lap and snuggle against his chest. Bethany winced at the position and exposure.

“You're not okay.” He murmured next to her ear. He held onto her as if she might disappear.

“I'm-” Bethany didn't know what to say. “Emotionally I've never been better. The rest isn't so important.”

“You mad at me?” He kissed the top of her head softly. Bethany looked up at him.

“Why would I be mad at you?” She kissed him softly. “You gave me the most perfect night I could imagine just by being yourself.” She kissed the front of his chest. He groaned softly, his arm tightened around her. Bethany could feel his reaction against her tummy. His left hand wandered over her thigh and then up her back to tangle in her hair, Bethany let herself be guided back into a deeper kiss while her hands traced the muscles of his chest and stomach under the swirling water.

“Lil Bit-” He murmured against her mouth, his fingers moved down her spine and over her bottom, tracing the cleft between them and following it lower. Bethany moved away from them.

“I can't.” Her lips and tongue moved gently over the side of his neck. He growled softly, his back arching. “But you can.”

The fingers of both her hands wrapped around his thick shaft and started to stroke. His hips slid toward the edge of the bench. Her mouth traveled down to the waterline and then dipped below it. Her tongue and teeth teased his skin. His head lay back, his hand tangled in her hair again an urged her head lower. Bethany reached up and untangled his fingers, with one hand. With the other, she continued to tease him. The tip of her tongue traced his exposed throat, tasting his skin and then nibbling gently. His body trembled under hers. His right arm rested next to him on the bench, giving her the freedom to move. His left hand returned to her hair, more insistent this time.

“Red,” She murmured against the hollow of his throat. “I don't know how to-”

“Just wanna feel your mouth.” The words came out in a groan.

Bethany moved her head down slowly. Her mouth and nose hesitated just under the waterline. She formed a pocket of air between his body and her face, pushing the water back and allowing her to breathe by continually drawing oxygen from the surrounding water. The way his back arched let her know that he felt the difference.

Bethany moved off of his lap, letting her mouth nip and suck a slow, winding path down his body. The water muffled his moans, but the tension of his fingers in her hair and the way his body arched let her know what he enjoyed. She spent more time on those spots that brought a pleasurable tension to his body. Her fingers explored his thick shaft while her tongue teased his navel. The movement of his stomach belied his rapid breathing, but Bethany's mind was consumed by the thick organ in her hand. It seemed impossible that it had been inside her only a little while ago.

She moved her head so that the edge of her air bubble caressed the side of his erection. It twitched in her hand, his fingers twisted in her hair. Bethany let her tongue trace a wet line around the reddish-purple tip, then down over the underside to the dark nest of wet curls below. His thighs tensed. His reactions guided Bethany and made her curious what else he would enjoy. She placed light, sucking kisses back up the underside, this time, taking the tip into her mouth, sucking softly at first. When his hips lifted off the bench, she took as much as she could into her mouth.

She let him set the rhythm with his hips and the hand in her hair. Bethany fought to keep calm and remember to keep the air in the bubble fresh when he pressed her to take more of him into her mouth. Her heart was racing. Her fingers dug into his thigh, and she fought not to gag when he pushed just a little too far. The only thing she could clearly hear was the muffled, rushing sound of the jets in the tub. The flavor of his skin inspired a hunger she hadn't know was within her.

Her head and hand moved faster. His stomach and thighs began to quiver. The hand in her hair pulled her head away. Her hand moved faster, the saliva-slicked tip under her chin. Seconds later, she felt the rhythmic rush of hot fluid against her skin. Even through the water, she heard his roar. His grip grew painfully tight and then loosened, his muscles relaxed.

Bethany took a final deep breath and let the bubble collapse. She made her way back up into his arms, her bottom resting between his spread thighs, her legs stretched out along the bench. His deep kiss surprised her, but she let herself get lost in it. She wasn't sure how long his lips lingered on hers, or how long she relaxed with her cheek against his right shoulder, the skin of her face becoming intimately familiar with the patterns she was resting against. Little things like time had lost their significance completely.

“Where'd you learn that?” He asked finally. She looked up at him.

“I'm assuming you mean the air bubble thing.” She smirked a little.

“Yeah, that.” He grinned.

“Abe.” She closed her eyes again. “Though I doubt he thought I would use it quite like that.” She laughed softly. He chuckled.

“You gonna tell him?”

“Well, not intentionally. You know how he is sometimes.” Her fingertips moved lightly over his chest.

“Yeah, damn nosy is what he is sometimes.” His fingers traced over her outstretched legs, beginning at her anklebone and moving slowly up to her hip. The tactile charting of her body added to Bethany's relaxation. “You get in his tank with him?”

“No. I was in the pool. He was telling me what to do from the edge. I thought that was kind of weird at the time.” Bethany opened her legs a little when his fingertips moved to her inner thighs. He carefully avoided her most tender places.

“Sounds like Blue. Bein' in the water's just different for him.” His fingers moved up her tummy.

“That make sense, I guess I didn't think of it that way.” She sighed softly. “Speaking of water, how often do you use this tub?”

“Couple times a year. Usually I don't wanna wait for it to fill.” His head was resting against hers.

“I'm glad you waited tonight.” Bethany smiled against him.

“Well, I had somethin' to do while I waited.” She felt him smile. Bethany drifted off in the comfort of the moment again. When she shifted though, her bitten shoulder protested. Until now, she had managed to keep it hidden in her hair or her position, but she knew she couldn't keep that up forever. When she felt him reach for his beer she knew she had to say something.

“Red-”

“Want yours?” He handed her the juice.

“Thanks.” She finished the rest of the juice in the bottle.

“Can I ask you something without you getting upset?” Her voice was more timid than she hoped it would be. When he looked down at her she could see worry flickering in his golden eyes.

“Yeah.”

“Do you-” She looked away. “I mean, when you – in the heat of the moment – do you always...bite like that?”

“Like what?” He asked. Bethany looked up at him and saw that he really had no idea what she was talking about.

“You don't remember me yelling for you to stop in the beginning?” She moved off of his lap and knelt next to him, her wet hair covering her shoulder. For the moment.

“Kinda.” She could see him trying to remember what she was talking about. “I guess I figured I had hit some other injury. I bit you hard?”

“You promised you wouldn't get upset.” Bethany reached up and moved the hair off of her shoulder. She couldn't see much of the injury, but she knew she caught a larger patch of purple-black out of the corner of her eye.

He was on his feet as soon as her hair moved. He was silent, staring. Bethany found she couldn't look at him, and in spite of the heat of the water she started to tremble. She felt one calloused finger trace the edge of the bruise.

“Red-”

“Ah Crap kiddo, I....I didn't mean-” He took a long breath. “You gotta get that looked at.”

“I don't need to-”

“Yeah you do. I'll get Abe.”

“At this hour? He'll be resting.” Bethany crossed her arms over her breasts, feeling suddenly exposed.

“Okay, we're going to Medical then.” The practical man in Red was taking over.

“No!” Bethany insisted.

“Well dammit we're goin' somewhere if I have ta carry ya!” His voice reverberated off the walls. Bethany wasn't really afraid of him, but her lower lip started to tremble. She turned away before he could see her cry. She didn't quite succeed. “Don't do that.” He sat down again and pulled her into his arms.

“It's not that bad. It just LOOKS bad because of the bruises.” She fought hard not to cry. She didn't even know what drove her to tears in the first place.

“Not sayin' it won't get better, just that it's really deep in places.” He kissed the side of her head lightly. “Must've hurt a lot.”

“It hurt, but not nearly as much as it looks like it would have.” She was starting to calm down. “I had no idea there was even a mark until I saw it in the mirror.”

“I'm so sorry.” He murmured.

“I forgave you as soon as it was over.” She held him a little tighter. “I don't want to go to Medical. All those records filter their way to Manning eventually.”

“Lemme get Blue.” He said.

Bethany nodded.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Hellboy, wearing only a pair of shorts, paced in the library. All he could think of was how small and scared Bethany had looked, sitting there in the lab with a sheet wrapped around herself so that her shoulder was exposed, but nothing else was. He'd helped her with that part while Blue waited outside. Her shoulder had looked bad in the tub, but it looked even worse under the cold lab lighting. The worst part was, he still couldn't remember doing it. Father sat and watched him pace.

For a few minutes they had all been in there with Bethany, but that had upset her. He could tell all the discussion and questions were getting to her when she started fighting back tears. He didn't know why Blue felt the need to wake Father anyway. It wasn't like she was gonna die.

“Why don't you sit down.” Father said. He was still in pajamas and his bathrobe. The lights in the room were dim. The water in Blue's tank cast a strange glow over the room.

“Don't wanna.”

“We need to talk-” Father started. Hellboy turned quickly.

“Can't you lecture me tomorrow?” He asked. “I kinda got other things on my mind right now.”

“I'm not going to lecture you. I just want to know what happened.” The voice was calm and concerned.

“I don't know what happened.” Hellboy admitted. He collapsed into a chair. “That's the problem.”

“What were you doing just before? Were you and Bethany arguing?” Father asked.

“No! We were-” He looked away. “We weren't arguing.”

“Were you being playful?”

“We were-” He paused again. He wanted to protect Bethany's privacy, but he also wanted to protect her from his father's disapproval. “It was friendly, but not like that.”

“We can sit here all night or you can just tell me.” If he was frustrated it wasn't coming through in his voice. Hellboy held his father's eyes for a moment before looking away again. “Ah. It was an intimate moment.”

Hellboy nodded.

“That's why you were afraid I would lecture you?” He sounded surprised.

“Ya have every other time ya found out I went to bed with a girl.” Hellboy got up again.

“What did I say all those other times?”

“I dunno, somethin' about controlling urges and how it's supposed to mean somethin'.” He looked at the clean ashtray and wished he had a cigar.

“And did it mean something this time?”

“Yeah.” He admitted. “But when it didn't nobody ended up needing medical attention. Maybe that was better.” He sat down again next to the old man and rubbed his eyes.

“That is strange, I'll admit.” Father said. “What were you doing when you think it happened?” Hellboy looked up at him. “I don't mean specifically.”

“It was-” He thought about how to phrase it. “Before. I remember her hitting me and telling me to stop. I guess I did because she relaxed again. I said I was sorry and that was it. I didn't even see it until just before I got Blue.”

“She must have bled. Parts of that wound are fairly deep.” There was no accusation in the comment, simply a need to understand.

“Yeah, but it was dark and she didn't act like there was anything wrong. I never looked at the bed until she was gettin' dressed to come here.” He sighed. “It looked like I tried to kill her or somethin'.” Just saying it was painful. He'd managed to throw a blanket over the worst of it before she got out of the bathroom.

“She knows you didn't.” He laid one hand on Hellboy's shoulder.

“You sure about that?” He asked.

“I saw how she looked at you as we were leaving the lab just now.” He smiled a little. “If she was ever angry at you, she's forgiven you.”

“Am I gonna do this every time she and I...ya know?”

“I don't know.” Father admitted. “But I'm going to do my best to find out what happened.”

For some reason, that simple reassurance made Hellboy feel a little better.

*~*~*~*~*~*

“Thanks for doing this.” Bethany held the sheet around herself. “I know you must have been resting.”

“You're welcome.” Abe was opening and closing cabinet doors somewhere behind her. “Red was so upset, I wasn't certain what had happened.”

“Is it bad?” She asked. She knew the bruises were worse because she could see that much in the mirror when she was getting dressed.

“It could be worse.” He started swabbing the open places with something cold and stinging. She whimpered and clutched the sheet tighter.

“Geez, you could have given me some warning.” She said through clenched teeth.

“Sorry. Nearly done. It must have been very painful when it happened.”

“It hurt, but not so much that I thought anything was actually wrong.” She relaxed a little when the stinging receded to a tolerable level. “Besides, he stopped when I told him to. Can you just put a dressing over it?”

“There's are a couple of areas that needs some sort of closure first.” He looked closely at her shoulder.

“Oh c'mon Abe. If you stitch it that's just going to make Red feel worse.” She turned to look at him.

“And if it gets infected and doesn't heal properly?” He tilted his head and looked at her. Bethany knew he was right.

“Is there some other way to do it?” She asked. He thought about that for a moment.

“We'll try steri-strips instead, if you agree to let me check it tomorrow.”

“Deal.” She wasn't sure what he meant, but as long as it wasn't stitches Bethany was willing to go with it.

“So, you were being intimate when it happened.” He went to the cabinets again. She turned to look at him, and then turned away again.

“You couldn't just ask what happened?” Bethany blushed deeply, wondering how much of an image of the last few hours he had gotten.

“You were thinking very loudly.” He said simply.

“So if you knew, why ask?” She said.

“Courtesy. Face forward, so that I can line up the edges of the wound correctly.”

“He doesn't remember doing it.” She faced forward again. “Even after seeing it he doesn't remember doing it.”

“That's what he said when he woke me. Does that frighten you?” He began to pull the edges of the wound together, using something that looked like strips of tape to hold the wound closed.

“A little. The part about him not being able to remember doing it.” She admitted. Bethany had never been afraid of anything about Red, now that she was, it felt almost like a betrayal. “I think he's more upset than I am though. I wish I knew how to make him feel better.”

“You were the one who was bleeding.” Abe tore open a large gauze pad.

“I'll heal, not as fast as he would.” She smiled a little. “But I'll be okay. Besides, I've already forgiven him, I don't know how to make him forgive himself.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Bethany changed back into Red's shirt in his bathroom. Sometime while Abe had been working on her he - or someone - had come back here and taken the sheets off the bed. In a way she was glad that they had. Considering how blood was smeared over her skin she could only imagine what the bed had looked like. She went out to help him put it back together. She found him swearing and trying to put the fitted sheet on the wrong way. She put her hand over her mouth in an unsuccessful attempt to suppress a little giggle.

“Myers always does this.” He looked chagrined.

“Then let me help.” She kissed his bicep lightly and took the sheet off the bed again.

“Abe says you ain't supposed to move around too much.” He tried to take it from her, but she held on.

“I'm not climbing Everest. Besides,” She smiled up at him. “You're going to help me.”

“Tryin' to domesticate me, huh?” He smirked. She laughed.

“Just stand there and hold this.” She handed him one corner of the sheet.

Within a few minutes they had the bed in good enough order to sleep in. Well, Bethany did. Mostly he just held what she told him to hold and stood where she told him to stand, but it worked. Bethany got in bed while he turned off lights. When he joined her, he wrapped his arm around her waist and she snuggled up against him.

“You end up needin' stitches?” He murmured.

“No. Abe used some kind of tape, I forget what he called it. The bruises make it look worse than what it is.” She shifted a little.

“But it scared you.” He kissed the side of her head softly. She could feel the tension radiating outward from his chest. “I scared you.”

“The fact that it happened, not really. It happened in the heat of passion and since we hadn't been quite that passionate before accidents happen. It scared me a little that you don't remember doing it.” She squirmed again, the shirt felt caught up around her.

“If you don't wanna sleep in here tonight-”

“That's not it, gimme a minute.” She sat up and took the shirt off. When she pressed her bare skin against him again, she had all the comfort she needed. “Much better.” She sighed.

“You still trust me?” He sounded surprised. She turned to face him.

“I never stopped trusting you.” She stroked his cheek with her fingertips until she found his mouth. When she did, she kissed him softly, her lips lingered until he sighed and relaxed. His left hand moved into her hair. When he was ready to let her go, she broke the kiss. “Please, don't stop trusting yourself.”

He didn't answer, he just wrapped his body around hers. Finally, his tail wrapped around her calf. Bethany felt herself drifting off, and she gave in to the exhaustion.