Painless

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I had managed to hide from Jack for a few days, narrowly missing a good number of unwanted encounters. Gena kept me company most of the time and since Jack had allowed her companion and herself to come aboard the Black Pearl, it seemed wise not to have a repeat of Tortuga.

I’ve been trying to avoid him, but this is going to catch up with me. It would seem most improbable that I would be able to he rhe remainder of my time on this ship without being alone with the man. He is the captain, despite what one would think, and I plan on staying here for a very long time.

It’s not like I have anywhere else to go.

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Damn it, I didn’t think he would get me this soon.

That’s your problem, boy. You don’t think.

I do think. I’m not stupid.

I didn’t say you were stupid. I said you didn’t think. You used to, but you don’t seem to do it anymore.

Oh? Well I do. I think about the humming. I think about the numbness, then the pain. I think about…

Yourself. That doesn’t count. That’s built in with most coherent beings. You need to think about someone else.

How would you suggest I do that?

Either clean up or ship out.

I don’t smell that bad.

What?! … No, that’s not what I meant. You need to get your act together, or leave these people. You are hurting them too much.

Leave? Where would I go? I have no one. Not even Elizabeth wants me. Not like this.

You don’t have to go anywhere.

But you just said…

I know what I just said. Think about it.

Well what do you have in mind? Jumping off the side of the ship?

Ah, now he gets it.

Kill myself? I thought you were trying to help me.

I am. Don’t get mad at me if you don’t get the answers you want.

Don’t tell me what I want and don’t want.

Don’t tell me you don’t want what you want.

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I hadn’t realized that Jack had been watching me as I had my little conversation. He knew what was going on, otherwise he would have stopped me. Only when I recognized his presence did he speak.

“I think we need to talk about this.”

No we don’t. “Talk about what?”

I’ve never tried to look so innocent in my life.

“Well for one thing, you keep getting this glazed look in your eye, like you are deep in though. That, or you are severely constipated.”

I scrunched my nose at the thought. That was something I didn’t need to hear. “I’m just thinking.”

Oh? Thinking? I thought we just talked about that.

“I was!”

Jack raised his brow momentarily, then quickly tried to hide his reaction. “I wasn’t arguing with you.”

Need to go. Make something up. “Humming!” Run. Come on, let’s go.

I turned to leave when I felt his hand on my arm. “Oh no you don’t. Not this time.”

He pulled me towards him, quickly maneuvering me towards the wall. He trapped me there, knowing I couldn’t get past his hands on my arms, his body in front of me and the wall behind me.

I hate being trapped. Now more then before. My space. My space, not his.

“Will, look at me.” I don’t want to. I want to go. Please let me go.

I felt the shaking, I knew I wasn’t crying. Hyperventilating maybe, but no tears came. “Move.”

He placed one of his hands on my face, pulling my chin so that I would see him. So sad, those eyes are so sad. “No.” His voice was soft, almost a whisper. It was then that I knew he wasn’t going to hurt me. Not right then, at least.

“Please.” I haven’t had to plead like that in a long time. It seems like a long time. Maybe it wasn’t.

He placed his forehead on mine, closing his eyes for a moment as if trying to sort his thoughts. I couldn’t help but to close my eyes along with him, letting the sound of his breathing comfort me. Calm me.

I didn’t notice when he opened his eyes again. It may have been a few moments or a few minutes. He didn’t move though. He just let me stay there. It was only when I realized he was watching me that I snapped back to attention. I didn’t try to push away, I was too confused.

I didn’t know if I should stay and be comfortable or leave knowing that I had prevented something from happening that could have hurt us both. Eventually it would hurt us. It had to, because it was me.

As his mouth moved toward my ear, I stood as if made of stone. His breath hit the skin on my neck, making me shiver. It was unintentional, I swear. The heat of his body over mine was intoxicating, though I knew he wasn’t going to do what I hoped he would.

I don’t know everything.

Whispering into my ear, I was still able to hear the urgency in his voice. “Don’t leave me.”

That wasn’t what I expected to hear. How had he known what I was considering only minutes before? The surprise was gone rather quickly when I realized that he was talking about me leaving the ship.

With his mouth dangerously close to my neck, I spoke. “I won’t.” I couldn’t make any promises about anything, but I didn’t lie. I’ll go wherever he takes me. I can’t do much else.

At those words he leaned into the nape of my neck, resting there. He sighed, the warm air running down my back making me shiver into him again. Of course, totally unintentional. At this, he seemed to want to test the waters, seeing what he could get away with.

Keeping his closed lips on my skin, he slid them up my neck to my ear. Not even realizing it at first, I tilted my head to the side, allowing him better access. Light kisses made their way to my jaw while a warm and velvety tongue snuck out once and a while to mark its path.

I let out a small moan, prompting him to settle his hands near my waste, one hand wrapping around to rest on my back. He maneuvered his way towards my mouth, taking his time getting there. When he finally did reach my lips, he paused for a moment, still keeping them in contact with his. Gently, he began to suck my lower lip into his mouth, nibbling lightly. I responded by opening my mouth just enough for him to slip through, which he did.

As he kept one hand on my back, the other made its way into my hair, getting tangled as they caressed me. I let out another moan, louder then the last and instinctively arched into him.

I couldn’t help but to gasp in surprise. I hadn’t realized how aroused I had made him until I felt his erection leaning on my thigh. Actually, I hadn’t realized how aroused he had made me as well.

He paused for a moment, seeming to decide on something. Carefully and curiously he rubbed his erection into mine, extracting needy moans from both of us.

This is so different from what I know. The men that raped me had not been like this. They never took their time and they had never been gentle. I had never been with someone before that. I didn’t realize it would feel like this. Before I had been fucked. I had been forced. Now… is this what making love would be like? Could something this good last?

Jack pulled away slowly, looking into my eyes. I felt the burning of tears on my face before I could register his reaction.

It’s been so long since I’ve cried.

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A/N: Well kiddies, what do you think? I was sitting in one of my classes and this chapter just formed itself in my mind. Because, I’m sure the professor would love to know that I’m thinking about two hot guys making out. Well, my thoughts went farther then that but that’s just because.

I also decided that no matter what anyone tells me, the most beautiful couple would be two gorgeous guys. Not a man and a woman, or two women. I wish I had been a guy so that I could be gay. I would ask if that is weird but I have a suspicion that some of you, if not a bunch are going to tell me they would like that too (for themselves).

Roxie: Hehe, slash is definitely the best thing ever. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be sitting in philosophy (a class I love) thinking about it. Mmm.

Datiye: Hmm, you’re is the same as you are. Your is different. It’s one of those words I have to double and triple check to see if I put it in the right way. As for the voice, it looks like it’s going to be here for a bit, if not for the rest of the story. I’m not sure yet. We’ll see. I’ll try the site that you gave. I haven’t looked at it yet, but if I do put this up over there, it would be under this username (depending on how the site works). This one has yet to fail me and no one else uses it.


For anyone else reading this: I eat reviews. Feed me.