Struggle For Control

Once Alex was home, she put Julia down fro her nap
and began to pace. She wished that she
had lesson plans to write – or anything that could keep her from doing what
she’d been putting off. Finally, she
gave up and went out into the garage.
There was a vacant space were her car used to sit – this space left
Tristan’s blue Ford Explorer in plain view.
Guess you’re mine now.

Alex knew it was silly no not drive the vehicle, but
she just never saw reason to; her car suited her just fine.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Steven made sure to start the Explorer every
once and a while and check things over to prevent it from falling into a state
of disrepair – he also always insisted that Alex would eventually drive it.

“It’s only a car,” she said to herself.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> “His things aren’t even in it anymore.”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> While Tristan’s things were gone, but the
memories weren’t. Alex’s mind drifted
off to the simplest things: she remembered grading papers on the front porch
and her heart racing when that car pulled into the driveway.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> She thought about how Tristan would load up
the back and they’d go on weekend getaways just to be alone together.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Quickly, she turned and went back into the
kitchen.

She sat at the table and thought that she was going
to cry – to her surprise, she didn’t. ">
“He’s gone,” she said softly.
“He’s not coming back and I think there’s someone new for me.”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> She looked at her wedding ring for the
hundredth time that day. “Care to tell
me what to do, Tris?” She laughed to
herself. “In>“If you ever answered me
I’d…” The phone rang cutting her
off. She walked to the counter and
picked up the cordless. “Hello?”

“Hi, Alex, it’s Mort.”

Alex smiled.
Tris, I could really take this as a sign from you, you know.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> “Hi,” she replied, feeling herself blush.

“I called your sister’s house and she said that you
were home. She gave me your number, I
hope that’s all right.”

“Oh, it’s fine.
I feel a bit foolish for not giving it to you in the first place.”

“Alex?” Mort
sounded a bit shy.

“Yeah?”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about last night, um,
maybe worrying is more the right word.”

“I know the feeling,” she said softly.

“I just wondered if you were all right with –
things.”

Alex wasn’t sure how to respond.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> She wasn’t exactly sure how she felt about
anything, really. She knew that she
liked Mort and she knew that she had to move on, but she also knew that she was
terrified of starting over. “We just
got a bit carried away,” she answered unsurely. “I’m fine. How about
you?”

Just tell her the truth.

Mort answered.
“I…I feel like an ass.”

“Oh.” That
certainly wasn’t what Alex expe to to hear.
“You really shouldn’t, I mean I…”

“Alex, I had a lot of time to think last night and
came to the conclusion that I really want to know you.”

“I want that too…”

“…And you need to know that I meant what I said
about going slow. I don’t want to scare
you off.”

Alex let herself giggle. “You’re anything but scary.”

Shooter’s voice sounded miles away.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Poor girl doesn’t know a thing about
us. It was easy enough for Mort to
ignore it this time.

“I want to start over. Can we do that?”

“Mort, I really don’t think it was such a bad
start.”

“I’d really feel better if you would let me do
something.”

“I was sort of the aggressor…”

“Please?”
His voice sounded almost childlike.

“Mort, what is it that you want to do?”

There was silence on the other end of the phone for
a moment. “Let me make you dinner.”

“You cook?” Alex asked with a laugh.

Mort’s voice brightened. “I’m full of surprises.
What do you say? I know that you
have to be up early and all…”

“You meant tonight?”

Shit, too fast…too fast. style="mso-spacerun: yes"> “Um…well…”

“I’d like to.”
I would? After everything I’ve
been thinking about?

“Really?” Mort asked, smiling to himself.

Ah, what the hell. “Sure.”