Control

Title: Control
Chapter Eleven
Author: Angelsdee
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Mikaela runs after her experience with Dom. Unable to deal with the conflicted emotions of human contact again she “talks” with an old friend to sort things out.

(These events occur right before Dom wakes up to find Mikaela missing and continue after. It will be obvious when he wakes up to you the readers.)

Mikaela woke up wrapped tightly in his large arms. She looked at his sleeping face with curiosity. It looked so peaceful now but earlier…the intensity it held was almost frightening. She felt his strong, naked body pressed against hers and the previous hours came back to her in a rush. Rush was an understatement. It reminded her of waking up after a 3-day binge and suddenly remembering all the things you did when you couldn’t help yourself. ‘Holy shit! Oh my god. The things he did to my body! The things he made me do to myself!’ She could feel herself blush from her hairline to her toes. Which was quite a feat considering how darkly tanned she was.

No one had occupied her mind, body, and soul like that before. She started to feel uncomfortable in his presence. This man had broken through every defensive shield that she had erected around herself with uncanny ease. And that scared her senseless.

She carefully disengaged herself from his embrace, eased off the bed trying not to wake him, and got to her feet. As soon as she did a stab of pain hit her between her legs. ‘Ow! That fucking hurts!’ She gingerly tiptoed to her closet to grab a change of clothes and some shoes. With one more lingering glance at her new lover, she turned and crept downstairs.

She could smell him all over her body. His scent escaped her every pore. She headed down the hall to the guest bathroom and turned on the water in the shower. She usually took cold showers for 2 reasons. One, her body temperature was higher than most peoples. It normally ran at 100.1 F. She always felt hot and constantly felt the need for cold water. Two, she thought hot water was bad for her hair. She had 3 feet of it with no split ends so she guessed she was doing something right. This time she turned on the hot water and let it steam up the bathroom.

She turned and looked at herself in the vanity mirror. She had marks all over her body. He left bruises from his grip on her shoulders, arms, hips, and ass. Not to mention the marks left on her wrists from being bound. Bite marks covered her neck and breasts. She ran her fingers over every one of them.

She turned to walk back to the shower and felt the stab of pain between her legs again. She wasn’t surprised. She hadn’t had sex in a long time and he was very well endowed. She got into the steaming shower, adjusted the temperature a bit, and washed away her aches, pains, and his scent. Her mind drifted over all the things he had said to her and she came to a couple of realizations. He was true to his word and did not hurt her. The marks on her skin were placed there in the act of passion not due to inflicted pain. He was also right about his “mark”. He branded it on her heart but she had no idea what that meant.

She shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. She quickly toweled off, wrapped her long hair in a bun, and put on a tank top and shorts. She sat on the chair in front of the vanity to put on her socks and running shoes and she thought about something else he had said and what it meant. ‘He knows what I am.’

She quietly opened the bathroom door, headed down the hall and into the kitchen. A sense of safety flowed over her when she saw the broken french doors. ‘Nothing would stand in his way to protect me.’ The feeling was fleeting. She belonged to him now. He owned her. Not equipped to deal with those thoughts and the accompanying feelings, she ran out of the house…and away from him.

She had run about 3 miles down the beach before her sore body made her stop. She flopped down on the sand and stared out at the ocean. She was being overrun with her own emotions and knew she had to focus to get them in control.

She moved her body into the lotus position with some difficulty due to her soreness, took a deep breath, and started to concentrate. She was almost to a state of relaxation when she felt someone try to touch her mind. It was Dom. She could tell he was awake and in a state of panic. He was trying to find her. ‘He’s afraid. He’s afraid that he lost me. Don’t worry, Dominic. I know whom I belong to but I can’t allow you to find me right now. I need to work some of this out first.’ And with that thought, she slammed the door shut in her mind and closed him out.

When she got to the very edge of going into a trance, she stopped and lay down on the sand. Staring up into the clouds, she thought about Dominic. He was a force of nature. He had to be to get her to submit to him so easily. ‘The things he did! The words he said! The act of domination and submission. He took me apart in hours!’

She knew she was sexually inexperienced for a woman in her mid-twenties but now she felt sexually inadequate as well. Dom was only the fourth man that she had been intimate with.

Russell was her first boyfriend and they had been childhood sweethearts. They had grown up together. He was literally the boy next door she played with since they were in diapers. They actually started to date in the 6th grade and she gave him her virginity. Neighborhood boundary lines sent them to different high schools. He had to go to Macarthur and she would’ve too if she hadn’t been grandfather claused into Churchill since her older sister went there. Even though they were in different schools, they stayed true and only for each other. He was killed in a car crash when she was a junior.

Rob held her as she cried. He had already been her best friend for 3 years and she knew he would’ve been the perfect boyfriend for her. They both knew it. It was never spoken aloud but they could see in each other’s eyes that they had both thought about it. Fear of losing the perfect friendship stayed their impulses.

She remembered the day that Rob found out her secret and all the events that led up to it. He said he knew there was something “special” about her. She had a lot of friends but she always appeared distant to them unless they really needed to talk to her about something important. ‘High school problems.’ She’d listen, give her opinion, and then walk away. They never took it personal just figured she liked her space.

He said it took him some time but he finally understood her need for solitude and it wasn’t just because she suffered from debilitating migraines. He said he had to be sure so he tested his theory. He took her to a party. She didn’t want to go but he kept insisting until she gave in.

She was on the defensive as soon as they got there. She tried to stay near him but he kept finding excuses to leave her side. He hid in the crowd and watched her. Her moods changed from happy to angry to sad and then downright belligerent in less than an hour. Every time a mood swing hit her, she would try to seek him out but he remained out of sight. ‘She needs an anchor.’ When it finally started to overwhelm her, he rushed to her side, and he took her out of there.

He took her to the park that they hung out at on “quiet” days. They usually went there for their heart to heart talks or just to be alone away from their friends and everything else. He sat on top of the picnic table with her head in his lap.

“I’ve heard about this before but I always thought it was sci-fi bullshit.”

“What?” She was rubbing the last traces of her migraine from her temples.

“People like you.” He smiled down at her. His fingers were running through her hair. He always touched her hair to help soothe her headaches but now he finally knew what caused them.

She looked into his smiling face and asked, “What do you mean people like me?”

“Empaths.”

A look of panic crossed her face and she asked, “What are you talking about?”

And he told her about his theory and his little experiment with the party.

“So…now I’m a freak to my best friend”, she said in a sad tone and looked away. “Fucking perfect.”

“Mick”, he cupped her cheek in his palm and turned her face towards him, “you aren’t a freak. You’re special. You have a gift that allows you to help people.”

She gave him a weak smile and joked, “Yeah and my reward is a little satisfaction and a lot of mind-blowing migraines. Lucky me!”

This day…the day he found out what she was…was exactly a year after they met. A year later she lost Russell and when he held her they formed a bond that allowed him to tap into her feelings. Another year later and she lost him in a car crash too.

*Hey Mick.*

‘Hey baby.’

*Taking a trip down memory lane?*

‘I guess. Just thinking about lost loves.’

*I’m honored to be amongst them. All 2 of us.*

‘Yeah. Two.’

*What is it, baby?*

‘I never shared “this” with Russell, you know?’

*I know. I thought it was strange that you bonded with someone you never had sex with once and didn’t with the guy you knew since practically birth and dated for 5 years. But you know what? I loved it. I had a part of you that he never had. The downside was he had a part of you that I always wanted.*

‘Ah, you smooth talking figment of my imagination.’

*Baby, I’m not a figment of your imagination. I’m the last person you loved so much that you refused to let me go. And because of our connection you kept part of me with you. I mean you always hear about people who talk to their dead relatives; you just take it a step further. I barely understand it. It’s all very confusing but you always were a strange chick.*

‘So you’re saying that what I felt for Bill before he turned psycho wasn’t true love?’

*Man, you really only hear what you want to, don’t you? No. It wasn’t true. It was a love but not what you had with Russell and I. Personally I think you were using Bill to hold onto me.*

‘Then, my love, we were both wrong about something.’

*What was I wrong about?*

‘Never could stand the thought of being wrong, could you? Russell. He and I…we were together for a long time but I never considered him a “true” love. I loved him but there was something in me that he never touched. You did. He couldn’t come close to the way I felt about you. Even though you and I were never sexually intimate, we were together in a more intimate way.’

*Hmmm. That’s beautiful, love. I guess that’s why I never kept a steady girlfriend. It would’ve been a bitch trying to explain the sudden urges to call you or run out because I “knew” you needed me. After my big sacrifice, the least you could’ve done was “put out” a little.*

‘Ha, fucking, ha!’

*Seriously. I’m sorry you got together with that motherfucker. Hell, I’m sorry I introduced you to him. I didn’t know it would play out like that.*

‘No-one did. Bill was a time bomb. Still is. I couldn’t “read” him. He kept his emotions in check. Shit, he was practically a blank slate. I think that might be another reason I got together with him. He didn’t hurt my head. Well not until he smashed my nose and broke my jaw that is.’

*Enough about the asshole. Tell me.*

‘What?’

*About your new man.*

‘Rob, you might be dead and a figment stuck in my subconscious but I still know when you are fucking with me! What did you do?’

*At first…I didn’t do shit. You did.*

‘Explain!’

*You picked him. The second you looked into him. He is your missing half! But that fucking wall you’ve got!*

‘What did you do!’

*It’s what we did, honey. I can’t do shit without you. I’m dead remember? I made you tell him how to get to you. You subconsciously told him what it would take to claim you.*

‘What! Am I closet submissive? I wanted that?’

*Yeah you did. You wanted to be possessed by him. You looked fucking sexy doing it too. I was jealous.*

‘Oh, shut up! Why the bond?’

*You needed a “live” person to be bonded to. You’re lonely. You need love. Getting laid doesn’t hurt either.*

‘I’m serious!’

*So am I! You have to stop talking to your “imaginary” friend and rejoin the human race.*

‘God, I hate arguing with myself!’

*Yeah. It’s a bitch, isn’t it? You can’t fucking win. Now get your ass up and go back to him. He’s punishing himself for something you made him do.*

‘You are such an asshole.’

*And you’re a closet sub!*

‘Rob…since I bonded with him does that mean that you’re going to leave me?’

*Mick, most shrinks would call you a schizophrenic but I know you talk to me to work things out in your head. But baby, you need someone that doesn’t reside inside of this nuthouse called your mind.*

‘Ok. Fine. But I don’t want…’

*Mick, baby, your only friend is a dead one that you keep alive in your head. I’m always there for you but you have to look outside now for what you need. That’s why you picked him. You knew it was time to let me go and find someone. You were killing yourself. No sleep, not eating right, staying in excellent fighting shape though. You gave up on living and sat there waiting for death.*

‘Rob, death is coming. I can feel it. He’s coming to find me.’

*And you’ll kick his ass. With a little help from your friends. Go on, Mick. Wake up and go back to him. Walk away from me and go live in the real fucking world. If you ever loved me, please do as I say and remember…I loved you.*

‘I loved you too.’

She sat up from the self-induced sleep with tears on her face and noticed the sun was starting to set. ‘I loved you too. I wish I would’ve told you when you were alive.’ She got up on shaky feet, shook the sand from her body, and slowly walked home.

‘Damn, I’m sore. That man can sure put a girl through the wringer.’ She could feel his anxiety over her abrupt disappearance and the lateness of the hour. Smiling, she headed home a little faster.