Whisper Your Weakness

Mara lay awake for quite some time, listening to Luke’s even breathing as he slept, turning his words over in her mind. Luke Skywalker. The man had been a big part of her existence long before she’d ever met him, much less decided to begin an affair with him. A small segment of her brain still marveled that less than five years ago, she had wanted to kill the Jedi, and now she was willingly sharing her body with him!

But what about your heart, Mara? she asked herself. She knew that Luke loved her. The farmboy wasn’t nearly as skilled at hiding his feelings as he liked to think he was. Or not from her, at any rate. What frightened her was the thought that maybe his love wouldn’t be strong enough. What if Luke finally succeeded in peeling away all the outer layers of Mara Jade and when he got to the center, to the very essence that was her, what if he didn’t like what he saw?

The Emperor’s Hand had never known love, never given it nor received it. Mara Jade the Trader had known affection and friendship, from Talon and his crew, from Luke and his sister, and even from some of the Jedi on Yavin IV. But love, real love? It was a foreign concept.

Not anymore. Luke loves you.

But why? I’m not good enough for him!

And who are you to say that Luke can’t decide for himself whom he should love?

I was an assassin! I killed people at my Master’s command! Luke is a Jedi.

And did he not struggle with his own Darkness? Doesn’t he still? Who better than he to understand exactly what you face every day?

“Sith, I’m arguing with myself,” Mara muttered.

Luke grunted in his sleep at the sound of her voice and shifted the arm that was wrapped around her, his hand automatically finding her breast and instinctively squeezing gently. That familiar feeling of warmth surged through her and she grinned. Even in his sleep, Luke had the moves of a Jedi. Mara carefully turned her head so that she could see his face as he slumbered.

Even though she couldn’t see his blue eyes at the moment, Mara could vividly recall the way they gleamed when he spoke to her, the way they almost glowed when he made love to her. She had purposely not contacted him this last trip. A part of her worried that she was growing too attached, that when he realized Mara Jade was unworthy of his love and rejected her, she would be devastated.

Ironically, she wasn’t even supposed to be on Coruscant right now. Talon thought she was on her way to Alemir VI, and would probably not be happy if he learned she had made an unscheduled stop. Mara’s brows drew together in a frown of confusion as she realized it was too late - the attachment she’d dreaded was already there. Kreth, she hadn’t been able to last one more day without seeing him!

When they had begun this affair, she had worried about his power over her. Luke’s strength in the Force was dizzying at times and Mara had sworn to never allow another being to have control over her the way Palpatine had. It was frightening how her fears had changed, from anxiety over the possibility of his control over her, to panic that he would no longer want her at all.

Was this love that she felt? This ache in the pit of her belly at the thought of never seeing his smile again? Never feeling the touch of his lips or the caress of his hands? Mara cursed Palpatine for warping her psyche so severely that she could not even be certain if the emotions that surged through her were truly love or simply lust and need.

"How do I know for sure?” she whispered to Luke’s sleeping form.

She watched in astonishment as Luke smiled at her in his sleep and murmured, almost incoherently, “The Force will tell you.”

Mara peered at Luke closely. Was he awake and listening to her make an idiot of herself? Experimentally, she poked him in that spot on his ribs where she knew he was extremely ticklish. He slept on, although he made a few more grumbling sounds.

The Force will tell me, huh? You’re a Jedi Master even when you’re unconscious, Farmboy! Mara thought to herself with a smile.

The smile slowly faded as she considered his unknowing advice. That was yet another thing to consider in becoming more deeply involved with Luke. The Force was just as much a part of him as the air he breathed. Mara was well aware of her own potential in the Force, as much as she had tried to deny it in the years since her service to the Emperor. Something within her had always connected her Force abilities with that servitude. Was it truly possible for her to allow herself to serve the Force as a Jedi?

She closed her eyes, tentatively stretching out with her fledgling senses, trying to recall the way Luke had shown her to meditate within the Force. Immediately, a feeling of calmness settled over her and it was like nothing Mara had ever felt in her life. She had always fought against her abilities in the Force, had always been frightened of them. But this peace, this utter serenity - it was marvelous.

A shimmering shape began to take form in her mind’s eye. It was so brilliant that it almost hurt her eyes to look at it. Squinting, Mara raised a hand to shield her view. Slowly, the shape began to take on the form of a man, and Mara’s breath caught in her throat as she realized that it was Luke. This was her Farmboy as he truly was, a glowing, incandescent, beautiful being. He looked straight at her and she had the feeling he was gazing into her very soul.

It’s real, Mara, this bond between us. Don’t let it die.

Mara’s eyes snapped open and she came back to awareness with a gasp. She jerked her head around to look at Luke, still somehow sleeping soundly. How he could be sleeping when she’d just had the most amazing experience of her life astounded her. She felt a wetness on her cheeks and realized that there were tears streaming down her face.

With a jolt, she sat straight up in the bed, startling Luke into wakefulness for real this time.

“Huh? What, is it time to get up already?” he mumbled in confusion as he sat up.

Mara turned around to face him, sitting with her legs curled up beneath her. Luke looked at her and frowned as he noted the tears for the first time. He reached out a hand to touch her face.

“Mara?” he said questioningly.

“All this time, I didn’t understand. I don't know how you were so patient with me when I refused to understand. And it was beautiful, Luke, the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. How could I not see it before?”

He was still looking at her with the most adorable frown of confusion and Mara knew she was babbling, that she was making absolutely no sense. But the feelings, the emotions churning inside her were so intense that she wasn’t quite certain how to let them out.

She took the hand he’d touched her face with and clasped it between both of her own. With a tremulous smile, she looked at him and whispered softly.

“Pride. Stubbornness. Arrogance. Temper.”

A tiny gleam appeared in Luke’s eyes, as though he thought he understood but was afraid to really hope.

“What are you saying?”

“I’m whispering my weakness to you, Luke. Will you share your strength with me?”

The hope flared strongly in his eyes and an incredulous smile began to stretch across Luke’s face.

“Oh, Mara…” he whispered, but she could still see a tiny bit of disbelief that this was truly happening in the set of his expression.

Bringing the hand she held up to her lips, she kissed it softly. “I love you, Luke. I love you with all my heart and all my soul and I am so sorry that I put us through all this heartache.”

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Luke was afraid to move for a long moment, afraid that he was dreaming and that he was about to wake up. The joy that bubbled up inside him made him feel as though he were about to burst. And when he finally let himself believe it, that Mara was sitting in front of him, declaring her love for him, Luke surged forward and kissed her soundly.

Pulling away, he framed her face with his hands, looking deep into her jade green eyes. At the love he saw shining there, the last bit of his doubt vanished and Luke found himself laughing with joy. He gathered Mara back into a tight embrace, burying his face in her hair. All the endearments that Luke had held in these many months began to spill from his lips, as though he couldn’t hold them back any longer.

The two of them sat there on his bed for Force knew how long, somehow laughing and crying all at once as ‘Oh, my love’ and ‘My heart’ and ‘I love you, I love you’ poured from Luke. Luke fell over backwards on the bed, pulling her onto his chest and kissing her softly. He gazed into her eyes for a long moment, still amazed at the love he saw reflected there.

“You constantly surprise me, woman. Never in a million years would I have thought you’d say those words to me first. I thought I’d have to coax them out of you,” he grinned.

A look of seriousness and awe came over Mara’s face. “It was the most amazing thing, Luke. It was the Force speaking to me. I’ve never felt it so strongly, not even when Palpatine used to call to me.”

Luke was stunned. To have Mara say that she loved him was something that he had never believed could happen. Now, to hear her speaking of the Force in a respectful tone, and not the slightly derisive manner she usually employed, literally left him speechless.

Mara grinned at the look on his face. As she explained to him the vision she’d seen, Luke’s amazement grew.

“Mara, that’s…that’s just incredible!”

“The vision mentioned a bond between us. Is that true? Do we share a bond already?”

“Oh, my love, there’s been a bond between us since the moment you first aimed your blaster at me,” Luke chuckled.

She glared at him, more out of habit than anything else. “So you always knew this would happen?”

“I never dared to hope this would happen, but I’ve certainly dreamed about it an awful lot.”

“Even when you were seeing Callista?”

Luke was surprised at how the pang of hurt that usually came with that name had been reduced to barely a twinge. No, not surprised, he thought as he looked at the love of his life, it only makes sense. He had cared deeply for Callista, but Mara had always held his heart, even if he wasn’t completely aware of it.

“Callista was…an experience that I’m grateful for, but my heart knew that she wasn’t my soul mate. It just took a while for my head to realize that. Did I have erotic dreams about you while I was with her, no. I could never be disloyal to someone I’d pledged myself to in that way. But you were always, always in some corner of my mind. Not a day went by that I didn’t think about you in some way; wondering if you were all right; if you were still having the nightmares; if you were keeping up with the bit of training I gave you on Wayland; if you still wanted to kill me,” he said as his mouth turned up in a wry grin.

“You’d better stay on my good side, Farmboy, because that could change if you seriously annoy me,” Mara smirked.

Luke laughed and hugged her tightly to him again, kissing the top of her head before whispering in her ear. “Not a chance, Jade, I know you’re really just a big softy now.”

Mara punched him in the arm and Luke gasped, whining “Ow!” a little dramatically. She gazed down into his face and reached out to trace the curve of his cheek with her finger.

“Only with you, Luke. Only with you,” she said softly.

Their lips met again, and Luke thought that he would never grow tired of kissing that beautiful mouth. Mara sighed and pulled away to look at him.

“So, this bond thing…”

“Oh, Mara, we’ve barely scratched the surface with it,” Luke promised and his eyes were fairly twinkling with anticipation. “Do you trust me?”

“You know that I do.”

Luke opened his mouth to speak and then paused as he felt a very hesitant probe at his senses. Leia, being a little less intrusive this time, he realized. Placing one finger on Mara’s lips as a ‘wait a moment’ gesture, Luke closed his eyes and reached back towards his twin.

*Hello, sister.*

*Luke! I’m not, ah, interrupting anything, am I?*

*Not at the moment, no.* He smiled as he could feel her faint embarrassment over their bond.

*It’s just that I felt such a surge of elation and happiness from you. It was so strong that I…*

*Couldn’t resist being a little nosy?*

*Oh, shut up! Just tell me, is it what I think it is? Are you and your lady love together?*

*My lady love. Very apt description, Leia. She told me she loves me just a few minutes ago.*

*Luke, that’s wonderful! Do I get to know her name now?*

Luke laughed out loud at her characteristic impatience. *Hmm. No, I don’t think so. I think I’ll save it as a surprise for Han’s birthday party.*

*Luke! That’s not fair!*

*Goodnight, sister.* Very gently, so that Leia would know there was no hurt intended, Luke closed the connection between them, tightening the shields around himself and Mara.

“Ow!” he yelped at a sudden sharp pain in his finger and looked at Mara in surprise, yanking his hand away from her face. Briefly looking down at the teeth marks she had left, he glanced back up, glaring at her.

“Were you done?” she said sarcastically.

“Just remember, I bite back, Jade,” Luke promised with a suitably evil grin.

“Yeah, yeah, I’m really scared, Farmboy. Now get on with what you were going to show me.”

“A Jedi does not know impatience-” Luke broke that spiel off very quickly at the look she gave him. Both of them were quite aware that his own level of patience was about equal to a sand flea’s. “Okay, okay,” he laughed as he rolled to his side, pulling her with him as he sat up. They faced each other, sitting cross-legged.

A look of tenderness and concern transformed Luke’s face as he looked at her. Mara gazed back at him questioningly.

“What I want to try is intense and very intimate, Mara. If you don’t think you’re ready for it-”

“Luke,” Mara smiled as she interrupted him. “I love you. I’m ready, not just to learn more about you, but to learn more about the Force as well.”

Luke honestly thought he might burst if the joy in his heart expanded any further. He couldn’t help himself. Leaning towards her, he kissed her again. The kiss deepened and Luke gave a little groan as his hands unerringly found her breasts.

“What about…the…bond thing…you were-” Mara murmured against his mouth, even as her own hands began wandering over his body.

“Save time. Do both at once,” Luke said as his lips trailed down her neck. One of his hands slid slowly down her belly to tease the sweet bud between her thighs. Mara moaned and rocked her hips towards his fingers. He gasped as her hand wrapped around his erection and stroked steadily.

No longer having to suppress his love for her, Luke found he couldn’t resist saying it as well as showing it to her. It was as though every caress, every emotion was all the more intense now that they were sharing their true feelings with one another.

They continued to pleasure one another, their soft moans echoing around the room, until Luke’s infamous impatience reared its head. With a muffled exclamation, he pulled Mara forward, bringing her legs over his until she was settled in his lap. With one hand gripping his manhood and the other gently pushing on her back, Luke slowly entered her. Mara gasped, throwing her head back, her eyes closed tightly as she held onto Luke’s shoulders. Luke removed his hand and thrust forward, filling her completely. Mara couldn’t help the little cry that escaped her.

“Look at me,” he commanded quietly.

Her gaze slowly lowered from the ceiling to meis. is. Blue and green stared into each other intently, seeing new depths, sensing ever deepening wells of emotion. The position they were in seemed all the more intimate, as it brought them perfectly face-to-face, neither of them in a dominant place. Rather, they were completely equal.

For an eternity, they didn’t move. Luke’s arms were wrapped around her back. Mara’s arms were looped around Luke’s neck. Their faces were centimeters apart, but they didn’t kiss, merely held each other’s gaze as they felt the Force begin to shimmer ar the them.

“Do you feel it?” he asked.

“Yes,” she whispered.

He stretched out through the Force, finding Mara’s presence there easily. Her sense reached back towards him and they shuddered as the two began to meld into one. The room around them fell away and all Luke was aware of was Mara, her body, her scent, her incredibly strong spirit within the Force. Every sense, both physical and mental, began to merge and mingle with hers in a potent mixture that was powerful in its intensity.

The joining reached an apex that left them clinging to one another, gasping for breath, bathed in each other’s sweat and tears. When Luke’s eyes found Mara’s, he saw the amazement there that he knew was mirrored in his own expression. He knew this woman now. He knew her down to her very blood and bones. But it wasn’t just her physical being that he knew. Her darkest fears, her deepest regrets, her greatest hopes and joys, her every secret wish and dream…Luke knew them as he knew his own. And Mara knew him in the same way. There would never be another being who knew him so completely and irrevocably, not even his twin.

Tenderly, Luke leaned his head forward until his forehead rested against hers. He didn’t have the words to describe what he was feeling at that moment, but then, he didn’t need words any longer. Mara understood exactly what he was feeling and felt the same way.

Mara sighed and wiggled a bit on his lap. Luke’s shaft, still buried deeply inside her, gave a little twitch at the stimulation that provided. Mara looked at him and raised one eyebrow teasingly. Luke chuckled softly and brushed his lips over hers.

*Are we just going to let that go to waste?* Mara sent over their newfound bond.

*Absolutely not.*

Luke grinned as his hands drifted down to her hips and he took a firm grip on them, careful not to leave bruises on her tender skin. Mara moaned as Luke slowly began to help her move her body backwards and forwards, withdrawing almost until he left her, and then returning to penetrate her deeply. Luke’s arms moved up to encircle her waist as Mara took over the motion of their lovemaking. He buried his face in the hair falling around her neck, again breathing in that scent that was now so much a part of him.

Their climax, synchronized beautifully over the bond, washed over them and they cried out at the same moment. While it was incredibly satisfying, it almost paled in comparison to the final seconds of cementing the Force bond. That had been beyond any physical experience Luke had ever had.

Exhaustion rolled over him and Luke found he was having a difficult time keeping his eyes open. A glance at Mara revealed that she was feeling the same thing. The Force had renewed him numerous times in the past, but the intense experience they had just shared was beginning to take its toll. Luke fell backwards onto his bed, pulling Mara with him and smiling as she curled up into his side. They each murmured words of love before falling into a deep sleep.

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