Struggle For Control
That's Never Real
xmlns="http://www.w3.org/TR/REC-html40">
Mort felt a bit embarrd abd about the state of his
bedroom, but opened the door anyway.
“Remember the mess I warned you about?”
Alex smiled.
“Don’t worry about it.”
Mort’s bedroom was, indeed, quite disheveled, but it
wasn’t as if it were filthy. An unmade
queen sized bed was pushed up against the wall on left side of the room.
sizes scattered about it. The sheets
were a plaid, flannel material and the comforter was a deep, forest green.
sight with his foot, but failed.
“Believe me, it’s fine, Mort.” Alex began to straighten out the covers and found a tattered,
striped bathrobe between the sheets.
“Comfy?” she asked.
Mort’s face reddened.
“I’m really not a, um, unkempt person,” he said nervously.
“I have a few security blankets of my own,” Alex
confessed. Mort was glad that she
understood. He watched as Alex arranged
the pillows to form a makeshift crib./spa/span>“You can put her down.”
Carefully, Mort placed Julia on her back – she never so
much as stirred. “Out cold?”
“Oh yeah. She’s
out for the night.” Alex pulled a pink
blanket out of the diaper bag and covered her daughter.
Alex sat on the couch and Mort placed himself on the
other end. “I’m really glad that you
came,” he said nervously.
“You already said that,” Alex said, once again blushing.
“Well, I really mean it.
I don’t have many people over.”
“Why not?”
“I’m used to being by myself, I guess.”
Alex looked slightly pitying. “It has to get lonely.”
Mort settled himself into the couch a bit more before
answering her. “It does…at times.
off some time ago. I guess I never
really was all that social – seems stereotypical doesn’t it?”
Not wanting to jump to conclusions, Alex said, “What do
you mean?”
“It just seems that writer’s have to be loners.
on inside their head that…” His voice
trailed.
“Well, one’s mind certainly isn’t enough company.
friend and all, but ‘grown ups’ need a bit more, um, sustenance.”
Mort smiled.
“Your adult vocabulary has returned.”
“Yeah, that tends to happen after Julia’s asleep.”
her voice becoming softer. “Mort?”
1'> “Hm?”
“You said you haven’t been writing lately, right?”
“How long is lately?”
He thought for a moment.
“Well…the last story I had published was an updated version of ‘Secret
Window’ – that was almost two years ago.”
“And you’ve written nothing since?”
“Nothing that I’ve been satisfied with.
move, to give myself a break. To be honest,
I haven’t opened my laptop since I moved in here.”
“Nothing sparking your mind?”
Mort laughed.
“Every time I look at something my mind sparks some line or another,
Alex. I just need to live outside my
mind for a while. Adjusting to that
wasn’t going very well for a while.”
“No?”
He shook his head and smiled at her.
and solitude, publishers and fiction.
What good is it to write about a beautiful woman if you can’t see one in
front of you? If you can’t smell her
perfume or hear her laugh?”
Alex felt her face grow terribly warm.
compliment? Hell, does it really
matter? “And how’s that ‘world
outside your mind’ going now?”
“Much better than I thought it would.”
conversation with someone.”
Alex furrowed her eyebrows. “You can’t tell me that you haven’t talked with anyone in so
long.”
“No, I’m not a total hermit,” he said, taking Alex’s
hand. “Meaningless conversations come
and go – even with myself – but to just sit with someone and talk about more
than the weather or…” Gently, he lifted
her hand to his lips, kissed it, and then lowered it. “…it’s nice.”
Impressive…
Alex found herself moving so that she was right next to
Mort. “If I told you that I felt like I
was in high school again, would you laugh?”
“No. I understand
what you’re feeling. I still mean it
though, we won’t rush innythnything.”
Alex sighed.
“Good. Wait, I mean…I didn’t
mean for…”
“Shh. You don’t
need to get nervous again.”
Alex pulled slightly away from Mort.
“Your voice shakes.”
“It does?”
Mort smiled.
“Just a little – I bet nobody else ever notices.
tend to pick up on.”
“I guess that’s because of your job?” she asked, feeling
more relaxed again.
“Yeah. A story
without details is…well, it won’t get you published.”
“Speaking of which, why did you republish ‘Secret
Window?’”
There wasn’t a single moment of hesitation.
me. If the ending isn’t perfect, it
takes away from the rest of the story.”
&nb>
Tris, you know that I love you…this just feels
right. At least I think it does…
then leaned in and placed a soft kiss on his lips. He responded, kissing her back, equally as soft.
that rarely has a happy ending but…”
1'> “That’s never real,” Mort whispered.
Their lips met again and Mort pulled Alex as close to him as he could
get.
they were the night before – this time they were gentle, but lingering, and
most importantly, comforting to each of them.
When the time came for Alex to go, neither of them felt
any of the awkwardness of the night before.
Each of them was still scared, still uncertain, but now those feelings
were accepted rather than feared.Each
of them felt that their lives were going to change…in one way or another.