Ghost

Two things; big thanks to Laura, who has been helping me with this fic. You seriously rock, Laura, and I appreciate every thing that you do to help me. And secondly, Riddick's promise towards Kain, is actually a line of Laura's, that she kindly agreed to let me use. You can find that line in her fic, Throne Room. Go Read!

Tomoe - Thanks for that, darl. I hope you enjoy it from Riddick's POV.

14. Riddick.

I never should have brought her back here. I know that now. I watched as Jack walked away. Walked away from me. Walked away from me with Kain. She had a habit of doing that lately; cutting me as deeply as only she could with her words and then walking away. Walking away and leaving me bleeding, something no one had ever done.

“When has it ever been safe when it comes to you, Riddick?”

Didn’t she know that I knew that? Didn’t she know that’s why I’d left her behind in the first place? I know she’s not safe with me - now more so than ever. A good man would let her go - leave her alone to get on with her life. I know I’m not a good man; I want what I want, and I want Jack with me.

I started down the slope after her. I was starting to get a little sick of her attitude. Of making a little headway with her, only to have her turn from the sweet girl I remembered into a woman with more attitude than I wanted. I was sick of bleeding for her - it was time to remind her of what I had done for her.

“Riddick.”

I turned when Vaako quietly call my name, and saw that he was staring after Jack as well. There was compassion in his eyes, and I tilted my head as I stared at him. But when he turned to face me, that compassion was gone and all that remained was cool indifference. I stored that look in his eyes away as I raised an eyebrow, and he nodded at me slowly.

“Shall I arrange for Commander Toal to meet you in the conference room?” he asked politely, and I nodded as we stared at each other. I smirked inwardly as he finally tilted his head and turned away. He knew I had seen the look on his face, and I knew what it meant; he would make it his personal mission to keep Jack safe. Smart man.

By the time I caught up with the others, Dog, Maniac and Link were already sitting in the lounge room at Imam’s house. They were speaking in hushed tones as I slipped inside, keeping to the shadows as I listened for Kain and Jack. I could hear their soft murmurs coming from upstairs, and headed towards them as Dog mentioned heading for the outer rims.

I had just stepped onto the bottom stair when I saw Kain back out of Jack’s old bedroom and shut the door. He stayed where he was for a moment, his hand lingering on the polished surface of the wood. Then he sighed and lowered his head to the door, and for a moment, I saw the real Kain; the one that Jack confided in and turned too when she needed protecting.

I was reminded of just how young he really was as his shoulders slumped, and I couldn’t help but wonder what burdens he carried. Jack said they had met just after I’d left her - that was five years ago, which could only make him twenty one, twenty two at most. What had made him into the man he was? And why did it bother me that I wanted to know?

I stayed where I was as he slowly straightened up, and for a moment I knew how he felt. Bone weary tired; a tiredness that came from deep within. I had felt it on T2, just after Carolyn had been torn out of my arms in the rain, leaving me to grasp at air. And then he turned to face me, and the mask he wore slipped back into place as his lip curled into a sneer.

It was too late though - I had seen inside him, and there was no changing that fact. I watched him as he moved to the head of the stairs and crossed his arms as he stared down at me, a challenge clearly written across his face. 'Come on then - get through me - give me a reason to fight you.’ I could only blink as that thought rose in my mind, and then mentally shrugged it away as he tilted his chin up.

I gripped the stair rail in one hand and braced the other against the wall as I leaned forward, and his whole body tensed as I stepped up onto the next stair. 'You really do like fuckin’ wit’ people, don’t you, asshole?’ I stopped where I was and stared at Kain. He tilted his head as he returned my gaze, and then he lifted an eyebrow. ‘Well? I ain’t got all day, Baldy.’

“Five years ago I killed an alien that was between me and Jack - what makes you think you’re gonna stop me from goin’ to her now?” I asked slowly, and he snorted in response.

“You really don’t want me to answer that, Riddick - trust me on that one,” he said with a smile, and I narrowed my eyes as the smirk continued to play around the corners of his lips. ‘I’m so fuckin’ tired of this shit - you wanna kill me, just get it over wit’ then.’

I continued to stare at him as I moved up another step and braced my weight; it was as if I could see two versions of him standing before me. The cocky, arrogant young man, who was standing with his arms crossed, a sneer on his face and his body coiled for confrontation. But the other version was the one that had me pausing.

A young man who was weighed down with guilt. And deeper than that, coiled strongly around his soul, was grief. Bone crushing, soul draining, grief. It was like I could see him in layers. Anger. Pain. Grief and guilt. Blue eyes, the echoing roar of the ocean, pale skin covered in green blood and Aereon’s face flashed behind my eyes, but it was gone before I could see it more clearly, leaving me in a state of uncomfortable confusion.

I blinked and was staring at Kain as he stood before me. The mask in place and his inner demons hidden, and I wondered if I would ever learn the truth about him. Learn his secrets, as well guarded as they were. But he was waiting for my next move, so I took another step towards him and spoke with a controlled calm that I didn’t really feel.

“You made Jack a promise on Crematoria, Kain” I said slowly, and he shrugged when I took another step towards him. “So let me make you one - You run, I chase. You hide, I hunt. And I will kill everyone who gets in between me and Jack, including you,” and he tilted his head slightly and nodded.

“Ok. Do you feel better now?” he asked, and I ground my teeth as he shifted his weight slightly. “All I’ve ever wanted, Riddick, was to keep Jack safe and happy. So here’s my promise to you - the minute she stops being safe or happy wit’ you? You can hunt all you want - you’ll never lay eyes on her again. All you’ll be left wit’ are memories and ghosts.”

I pushed my goggles up as he continued to block my way, and narrowed my eyes as he licked the corner of his mouth. He wasn’t scared of me - I couldn’t smell any fear coming from him. No - his concerns were as honest as his words had been.

“What makes you think she wouldn’t be happy with me?” I asked a moment later, and he shrugged.

“Dunno - never said that she wouldn’t be, Riddick. I don’t trust you; I’m thankful you got us out of hell, and I will repay that debt by watchin' your back when we board that ship. But that’s as far as it will ever go; don’t think I’ll stand at your grave and weep when your time in the ‘Verse is finally done.”

“Why would I want you at my back?” I asked, and he snickered.

“You ask me that, when you’re plannin’ on takin’ us aboard a ship where every single person who wants that throne is gonna be gunnin’ for ya ass? Coz smack bang in the middle of all that is Jack. I ain’t doin’ this for you - I’m doin’ it for her. Coz when it comes down to it, Riddick? If you and me throw down? You’re gonna see it comin’. I won’t go behind your back for that - it’ll be you, me and couple of shivs.”

I stared at him silently and in that moment, I finally understood just how much he loved Jack. How much he was willing to give up for her. And when I nodded, his eyes briefly closed. Only for a short moment - but it was a sign of surrender that I recognized and understood.

“Why the change of heart?” I asked when he was one step above me, and he stilled.

“I have no reason to lie to you, Riddick,” he said finally, and I knew he didn’t want to tell me any more than that. He looked over his shoulder as he stepped down beside me, his words coming slowly.

“Jack’s in her old room - she’s washin’ away the sins of the past.”

“What sins?” I asked, daring him to tell me what her time with him had caused for her to think that way. Kain just stared straight ahead, his voice suddenly tired.

"She’s not able to kill without guilt, Riddick. Add in that she’s just found out about Imam, and that’s added guilt. Jack loves deeply - and she hurts just as deeply. Bringin’ her here re-opened all those wounds. Not even I can heal those ones."

I turned slightly to face him at the bitterness in his voice, and lifeless blue eyes flashed through my mind as he swallowed and shook his head. Kain sighed tiredly and looked down at his hands.

“Do you really think that I’d make Jack choose between us, Riddick?" he asked softly and his eyes narrowed as I continued to stare at him; yes, I had thought that.

"I love her, Riddick. I’d kill for her - put up wit’ you for her. I hate seein’ her cry, and I hate seein' her pain - and by constantly clashin’ wit’ you, what do you think that does to her?" he asked softly.

"So what are you sayin’?" I asked, and he shrugged.

"I’ll watch your back. I’ll watch Jack’s.” Kain looked towards me, and his eyes suddenly became ice cold. “But keep trying to drive a wedge between us, Riddick, and it’ll be the last thing you ever do."

I could see that he meant it; every thing he had said to me in the last ten minutes he’d meant. So I nodded and he shot me a quick grin.

"Besides," he said as he started down the stairs. "Who else is gonna give you the truth, on a ship where they’re gonna be kissin’ your ass and tellin’ ya what ya wanna hear, when they ain’t tryin’ to kill ya? ‘Yes, Lord Marshal, you look spectacular in that pink tutu - would you like to try the cannery yellow taffeta next? It’ll go so delightfully with your broody eyes and bald head!’ I don’t fuckin’ think so!" he mocked as he turned towards the kitchen.

I couldn’t help the sharp bark of laughter that escaped my lips, and he looked up at me as he walked passed and smirked. Vaako had been right - he was a cocky little bastard - but he was honest. I would need that in the coming weeks. I would need his honesty, and I would need his help keeping Jack safe. And the thought of owing him for that grated in a way nothing else had. Smug little shit he was, but damn his sense of humor was acid sharp.

I continued up the stairs and pushed the door to Jack’s room open slowly. I ignored the mess that the room was in, and looked towards the dimply lit bathroom when I heard the almost silent splash of water hitting the tiles. I bit my lip as I thought about what Kain had said - Jack was washing away the sins of the past. Washing…

I felt slightly sick when the animal raised its head and purred. This was Jack… But that thought didn’t stop me from moving into the shadows and along the wall to the partially open bathroom door. I could just see her, and I ran a hand down over my mouth as I stared at her.

She was kneeling on the tiles, surrounded by red material. I knew it was red - it was the same color blood was when it pumped over my hand after I had shived a sweet spot. I lowered my goggles briefly to be sure, but even as I did, I knew I was right. And sure enough, she was surrounded by crimson material, and I pushed my goggles back up slowly.

She was squeezing a sponge full of water down over her shoulders. The water ran down over her bare back slowly. Over muscles that had felt firm under my hands. Over naked skin that had felt like silk. Over a body I had healed. The water ran silver down into the crimson that barely covered the rest of her from my gaze.

Her neck was bare and the animal strained at the leash, wanting to sink its teeth into that pale column of flesh. I tightened my grip on it; it had already taken me over once since I had gotten Jack back - it wasn’t goin to do so again. Her hair was swept around over one shoulder, and I licked my lower lip again only to pause mid lick when she suddenly spoke.

“It isn’t polite to watch a woman bathe, Riddick, without announcing yourself first.”

She looked back at me over her shoulder, and watched me silently as I stepped out of the shadows and into the bathroom. I lowered my gaze slowly over her back, lingering on the patches of ivory skin that I had healed. No, definitely not the little girl I remembered. But when I smelled the slightest hint of fear in the air, I dragged my eyes away from her back as she looked away from me.

I watched her silently as she squeezed another handful of water down over her shoulder, and tightened my grip even further on the animal when it lunged at the cage doors. I felt myself move towards her, and faltered mid step when she gathered up the material in front of her, and draped it down over one shoulder; a crimson song dripping down her shoulder in the form of wet silk, and I cursed silently when the animal lunged forward again.

I knelt down slowly behind her, and the animal settled down and started purring as my thighs cradled hers and the curve of her ass settled back lightly into V of my legs. The razor’s edge had never been so fine, but when she raised the sponge again, I lifted my hand and closed it around hers, halting her mid move. For a moment I thought she was going to fight me, but then her hand fell away. The purr became a rumble inside me.

I reached past her and pulled the basin of water closer, the slender lines of her body pressing against my chest as I did so. I let the sponge fill with water and then pressed it to her left shoulder, the water cool as it ran down over my hand and her skin and then soaked the side of my thigh. The animal’s purr deepened when she lowered her head.

“She’s submitting to you… What are you waiting for?” it growled angrily when I did nothing more than wash the back of her neck. “Shut up you fucker!” I hissed inwardly, and it snarled and started to pace as the insides of my thighs got wetter with each passing of the sponge over her skin.

“Are you gonna fight me every inch of the way on this, Jack?” I asked quietly as I ran the sponge down the centre of her spine. She jerked her shoulder slightly, and I wondered how much of an uphill battle I really had before me.

“Are you gonna let them keep killin’ people?” she asked, and I bit the corner of my mouth as I re-soaked the sponge. Those eight words convince me of how little we actually knew about each other now - the fact that she would question if I would continue killing women and children proved it.

“No,” I said finally, and I felt her relax slightly under my hand - and I relaxed too, when I realized I could still read her after all. I’d begun to doubt myself, a feeling I didn’t care for.

“How about destroying the ‘Verse, Riddick?” she whispered, and I frowned. Where the hell did she think we were gonna go if I let them kill the ‘Verse?

“No,” is all I could manage as my hand lingered where Kyra had sunk in the shiv.

I watched as she nodded slowly and leaned forward to cup her chin in my hand. I reached for the jug that was sitting on the tiles as I tilted her head back, and saw that she had closed her eyes. I couldn’t help the purr that slipped free at the sight of that - at that small measure of trust. Pouring the water over her head slowly, I watched as it swirled through her hair and sent it sliding down her back.

‘Fuckin’ beautiful’ is all I could think as I poured another jug of water over her head, and started to work my fingers through the heavy mass as the water seeped into the front of my shirt. Her hair clung to my fingers, snaking round them in an attempt to bind me to her. I was already bound - caught in a Jack web that had started with blood and grown through trust. Trust - such an innocent sounding word, but something that she no longer had in me.

“You don’t trust me,” I muttered, needing to know for sure, and smelled the answer in the fear that spiced the air. I would have called that an aphrodisiac once - but with Jack? It gutted me.

Jack went to pull away from me; I had come to hate this habit of hers - gain a little ground only to have it slip through my fingers like the water I was pouring over her skin. Not this time. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders, and slowly drew her back towards me. And when she finally laid her head back against my shoulder, I knew the time for not trusting was over.

“I don’t trust easily, Riddick,” she murmured, and I winced as I thought back over what she had said to me in the cell on Crematoria. That I hadn’t trusted her enough - that, I hadn’t trusted. Fuck - she’d gotten that from me.

“Taught you too well, huh?” I muttered, and she shook her head.

“You weren’t there to teach me much, Riddick, but the lessons you left me with… impacted.”

That cut me far more deeply than any other words she had said so far. Another snippet of conversation from the not so distant past rose in my mind, causing me to growl as the full implications of what she had meant became clear. I’d done this to her - turned her into someone who didn’t trust. Who walked away. Who killed.

‘You should recognize it, Riddick… it’s what you do best. I’m walkin’ away.’

‘Don’t worry; a lesson learned well, Riddick. No such word as ‘friend.’

Jack sighed and reached up to rub her temple, breaking me out of those memories and into the present.

“What do you want me to say, Riddick? Do you want me to lie to you?” she asked coolly, and I sighed heavily.

What was I meant to say to her? I ran the sponge across the fine bones of her clavicle instead, my eyes drawn towards the splash of color that cut across her chest. The color that hid other changes - a color that made my blood uncomfortably hot as I traced the sight of it wrapped around the paleness of her skin.

“I want you to trust me,” I muttered, breathing in the scent of the air. All Jack - all grown up, and seeping into me as she had done in the past. “I want to know that when we board that monstrosity, you’re with me.”

“Scared I’ll stab you in your sleep?” she asked wryly, and the animal lifted its head, growled darkly and threw itself at the bars of the cage. I lost control of it for a moment, and could only swear and curse as it took control of me. Spoke for me - through me, and I was left to watch and listen as I gathered my own strength around me.

“You’d wanna make sure it counted if you did, Jack,” he murmured, and she shivered slightly against me. "The Necros believe you keep what you kill. I dunno what else they believe. If we're gonna survive this, I need to know I can trust you - that you're with me."

“Including looking, for intent and purpose, like your whore?” she asked, and I felt my face split into a satisfied smile as that thought entered the animal’s mind.

“Yes,” he said a moment later, and I felt the hand that held the sponge push under the edge of the material on her chest, and between her breasts.

I roared at it - this was Jack. Not someone that it could toy with. I could feel the silky skin under my fingers as the animal brushed my fingers over the dip in her chest. Could feel the swell of flesh either side of those fingers, and the way her heart hammered under my thumb as he withdrew my hand slowly. Her scent, both spice and fear flooded my mind as he breathed in against the indent behind her ear, and it made the animal pause long enough for me to take a hold of him and wrench myself back into control. He snarled at me, and I snarled back.

'Rape her, you fucker, and it’ll be the last thing you ever do.’

‘Not rape - mine. Lover - not daughter, sister - mine.’

“It would be rape - she doesn’t want us.’

‘Make her want us.’

‘Not for that, you fucker!’

‘Ours - you made her ours when you saved her in the dark. Made her ours - now she’s mine. Deal with it, Ricky boy - wake up and smell the blood lust in the air. I smelled it five years ago - catch up, you fuckwit!’

“Looking, Riddick. Not acting.”

I heard Jack speak and shook my head, the animal snarling once more as it laid down and listened to the thudding of her heart.

“You’re no man’s whore, Jack,” I said softly, and dipped the sponge into the water again and ran it down her side slowly. I could feel her ribs under my fingertips, and heard the animal’s soft growl. He finally settled down to watch and listen, but he had already done the damage - all I could scent on her now, was fear. I growled softly and brushed my thumb over the rapid beat of her pulse.

“Every time I’ve touched you since the first time in the cell, you’ve flinched,” I muttered. “It’s a well masked flinch, but a flinch all the same. Why do you think I’m gonna hurt you, Jack? Did I treat you that badly in the past?”

She shook her head and I gripped her shoulders carefully.

“Then why?” I asked as gently as I could, and felt the shiver that wracked her body as she remained silent.

“I would never hurt you, Jack. Kill for you, cross the ‘Verse for you, hide away for you - yes. Hurt you? Never. Has it really been that long that you would think that? That I would become the monster they talk about on the news?” I pressed, and she shook her head as she lowered her chin.

I needed to see her face - see her eyes. I stood up and moved around her, only to find her sitting with her hands linked in her lap and her eyes lowered to the floor. Cupping her chin I forced her to meet my eyes, and watched as she swallowed.

“Then why?” I asked again.

Jack shook her head, and I frowned as she remained stubbornly silent. But when her hand rose and she ran her fingertips across the material that gave her a sense of modesty, I knew. For all intent and purpose, she could have been naked in front of me. No weapons - just her, and the color of blood; sins of the past - and I realized Kain had told me that for a reason that was unknown to me.

“Kain said that you were washing away your past, Jack. You think I could do the same?” I asked, and she snorted.

“Shit, Riddick, I don’t think there’s enough water in the whole ‘Verse for that,” she said, and I couldn’t stop the laughter that burst out of me. Her eyes flicked up to meet mine, and she bit her lip as I smiled at her. That was the Jack I remembered - she was still there - just hidden beneath the surface. I saw the twitch in her lips and shook my head.

“Mouthy little swot,” I muttered, and she snickered softly.

Sins of the past - and I finally understood why Kain had told me that. Clean away the ghosts of the past; past hurts. Look to a brighter future. All that remained was why he had told me, but I’d think that over later.

“How about our past, Jack?” I pressed, and she looked up at me silently as I pulled my goggles off.

I dropped them on the tiles, and then pulled my shirt off. I handed Jack the sponge silently, and saw that her eyes were clouded over in confusion. Everything we’d spoken about and done in the last few days had been at my insistence - time for her to lead. I looked at her for a moment, and then closed my eyes and bowed my head. And a few moments later, I felt cool water pour slowly over my head and smiled slightly.

Jack’s fingers lightly touched my skin, and I bit my lip to hold back the shudder that threatened to shake me. The hand against my skin was shaking as another jug of water was poured over my shoulders, and I sighed softly as her scent grew stronger as she shifted slightly closer to me. The sponge touched the side of my throat, and I remained still as she cleaned my skin slowly.

Her heart beat was slowly speeding up, and I opened my eyes and tilted my head back. She looked down at me as she ran the sponge across face, and when she swallowed, I tensed up. Whatever was going to come out of her mouth, I knew I wasn’t going to like it. I could see it in the pain that had filled her eyes.

"I loved you. And you tore my heart out when you left, Riddick. So I built up walls - I promised myself that no one would ever get that close to me again. That no one would ever hurt me the way you did."

I nodded slowly as I swallowed, and for one moment, I hated myself more than anyone I’d ever hated before. Jack had said she’d died the first time she pulled the trigger. That she’d become the person she was the first time she killed. That wasn’t true. I’d done this. I’d killed the little girl I’d left behind - she just didn’t know it. Her gaze flicked to mine, and she spoke quietly as she ran the sponge down my shoulder.

“Kain slid under those walls. He lets me keep them up - lets me hide behind them. He let me learn to trust him. He never pushed me - he just kept being the same boy, day in and day out. He never questioned why I had nightmares or why I kept him at arm’s length for so long.”

I nodded as she washed my hands, her fingers sliding across my palm lightly. I knew Jack trusted Kain - it was evident in every look and gesture that went between them.

“When did you know you could trust him?” I asked, and saw the smile that lifted the curve of her mouth.

“When I woke up in hospital and found him asleep on the floor beside my bed. That’s when I knew. I can tell him anything, and he never laughs at me or tells me I’m an idiot. He lets me have my moments where I push him away, and if I push too hard, he pushes right back.

“I can remember when he was teachin’ me to defend myself. I didn’t want to hit him, but he kept pushin’ me and pokin’ me in the ribs; deliberately pissin’ me off until I snapped and gave him a bloody nose. I was horrified, but he just stood there with blood pourin’ down his face and laughed at me.”

Jack sighed and the sponge down my chest, her words coming more slowly.

“He doesn’t laugh so much anymore. We both killed for the first time the night I turned seventeen. And with each death by his hands, the less he laughs; he told me he would rather see the stains of death on his hands than on mine. I feel his guilt and he feels mine. But under that, I feel his love, Riddick. His friendship. And that’s what keeps him inside my walls - what gives them strength. What gives me strength.”

Didn’t she know what she meant to me? Hadn’t I made it clear on the ship earlier, when her walls had briefly come down? Jack lifted the jug and I closed my eyes slowly. Cool water ran down over my skin and along the crease of my mouth, and as I opened my eyes and blinked the water away, I heard Jack take a deep breath

“Kain lets me keep my walls in place. But you? You tear them down. Your force me to feel things I’d rather keep hidden. You make me feel like a child again. I’m not strong enough to survive your second coming, Riddick. I’m not made of ice like you.”

I could only stare at her; she thought that I would leave her behind again. That I’d hurt her like I had in the past. I knelt up and cupped her face in my hands, her skin smooth and damp against the calloused skin of my palms.

“You’re not made of ice, Jack. Your heat and fire and the girl who kept me sane while living in the ice,” I said quietly.

When she shook her head, I began to wonder how to make her understand - truly understand - what she meant to me. I thought she’d known… I brushed my thumbs against her eyes, and licked the corner of my lip when she closed them. Lifting her hand I pressed it against my chest, willing her to hear me - to believe me.

“You feel that, Jack?”

She nodded, and I breathed in against her throat as the scent of her fear slowly began to fade.

“Your walls are made of glass, Jack. Mine are made of steel. And yet you still got behind them and into here,” I said, pressing briefly against her hand with my own. “Only person who ever did. In my head, you were like that crystal dancer Darien gave to you - the one that turned to music. A fragile figure I needed to protect no matter the cost. I trusted in the unseen. If I’d known that I was taking a piece of you with me, I would never have left. If I’d known that I was going to hurt you so badly, I would have taken you with me. If I’d known… But I didn’t know, Jack.”

“And now?” she whispered as I trailed my hand down the slick skin of her back, pressing her closer to me as I did.

“You will survive my second coming, Jack,” I said quietly, and she lifted her chin slowly. I smiled slightly at the look on her face; it was one I’d seen before. I’d seen it when she opened her eyes in the medibay on Darien’s ship, and seen me sleeping beside her. Seen me keeping watch over her - keeping her safe. The beginnings of trust.

“I spent five years alone, thinking about the girl I saved. The girl who saved me.” I pressed her hand firmly against my chest, wanting her to feel what I was saying. “You’re here. And I was never really alone, Jack.”

A flicker of pain in those green eyes that had haunted me, and a slight tremor to her bottom lip as I brushed my thumbs against her eyes again. I reached for the jug and carefully poured it over her head. Felt it spill down over her back. Over my hand as I spread my fingers to steady her against me as she swayed. And when I pressed my mouth against her temple, I tasted the small trail of salt as it ran across my bottom lip. I closed my eyes as the scent of her fear faded slightly and heard the animal’s contented purr.