Sherry's Story

A Difficult Decision

Disclaimer: I don’t own anything to do with the Sin City franchise and I am not making any money from this story.

Author’s Note: This is a slight re-write of the chapter titled “Aftermath.” I didn’t change much; I just thought the first time around that Sherry forgave Ben too easily.

***

During my time in the hospital, I’d given a lot of thought to the baby I’d lost. According to the doctor, I’d been six weeks into my pregnancy. Six weeks. I tried to remember who I had been with at that time, but I couldn’t. As much as it broke my heart, it was probably for the best that I’d lost it. The baby was probably conceived when I was drinking and doing drugs and more likely than not, it had been damaged by all the poisons in my body.

That brought up another question: who had been the father of my baby—Ben or Richard? Or was it some other anonymous customer? I’d fucked so many men; how would I ever know the answer? After the doctors told me I’d never be able to have a baby after the Roarke assault, not one customer had worn a condom. My inability to get pregnant was what made my services and body requested so many times.

Many women in my shoes would have left Ben flat after he raped me, but despite everything, I loved him with all my heart and most importantly, I believed him when he said that he would never do that again.

Ben began to go out at night and sometimes wouldn’t come back until long after I went to bed. When I woke up in the morning, I’d find Ben sprawled on the sofa and still wearing his shoes. Even though Ben had hurt me in ways no man should treat his wife, I found that I wasn’t able to just leave him there like that. I removed his shoes and pulled a blanket over him. I hated myself for not staying awake until he got home but I just didn’t know what to do and I had no one to confide in.

On the evenings that Ben didn’t go out drinking, we would be in the same room together for hours, watching television or reading, always with an uncomfortable silence between us that seemed to grow as the days passed. Every day we went through this charade of being married when, in fact, we were becoming strangers to one another. It became so bad that sometimes I couldn’t bear the awful silence that enveloped us. Without knowing I was even doing it, I would comment on something, anything, just to hear Ben’s voice. Of course, our conversations never went beyond commenting on the weather or which baseball team would win the World Series.

Occasionally during these conversations, Ben would open his mouth to say something then he’d change his mind and his face would become sad again. I missed his smile, his jokes, and the unmistakable smoldering look in his eyes when he wanted me.

One afternoon, it came as a pleasant surprise when Ben announced that Gert wanted to see how I was healing and if that would be all right.

“Of course! It’ll be nice to talk to someone for a change. Anything would be better than staring at four walls like I’ve been doing since I left the hospital.” There was a pained look on Ben’s face but I was too excited at the thought of actually talking to someone to notice.

Less than an hour later, I turned around to the sound of the bedroom door opening. Ben stood there with a tentative smile on his face. “She’s here.”

Gert came into the bedroom and put her black medical bag on the bed. “I’d like to talk with her alone, Ben,” she said, pointedly staring at the door. She refrained from saying a word until Ben had left the room and closed the door behind him. “I have to wash my hands before I examine you. While I am gone, take your clothes off and put a sheet over yourself.”

I did as she requested and waited. I heard her and Ben talking but I couldn’t hear what they were saying. When she came back in the bedroom, I noticed that her face was red and her mouth was tightly pursed in an expression of anger.

“Normally, I’d do this in a doctor’s office or hospital, but in your case, it would raise too many questions, so we’ll just have to make the best of a bad situation. Here we go. You will feel some discomfort but it is necessary as I have to make sure your stitches are healing.”

Because of the nature of my injuries—rape and sodomy—I would have had to be peeled from the ceiling from the pain. However, Gert was a woman and knew that a rape victim needed to be handled as gently as possible. Other than the fact that the instruments she was using to probe my vagina and anus seemed like they had just come out of a freezer, my exam had gone well.

In less time and discomfort than I expected, Gert announced that she was finished. “You are healing wonderfully, Sherry. And I don’t think I’ve ever had a quieter patient.”

“Shouldn’t we ask Ben to be here too?”

“Why? You are my patient and what goes on between us, stays between us. It’s none of his business.”

“How did it go?”

“You are healing wonderfully but I would recommend that you abstain from sexual intercourse for another three weeks.”

There was a question I had been dying to ask her but up until now, I didn’t have the courage. “Gert, did you tell anyone about what happened? I mean, about Ben hurting me?”

“No I didn’t. No one but me and doctor knows the truth. If the hospital finds out I fixed those records, I’ll be fired.”

I nodded, wondering what she had done for me. “What do you mean, you fixed my records?”

Gert pursed her lips together. “It took some doing, but I convinced the doctor on staff to alter his report saying that you’d been attacked by an unknown assailant.”

“Why?”

“Can’t you guess? Richard is a powerful man with powerful connections and if he knew, or even suspected, how you got injured, he’d go after Ben with a gun. I think you know that better than anyone. I saw how protective he was of you when you overdosed. I saw the way he was looking at you. He loves you.”

“No, you’re wrong. Richard doesn’t love me in that way. Yes, we’ve slept together but there’s no way that he loves me.”

“Sherry, I need you to trust me when I say that he definitely does.” Gert sighed. “I hate Ben for what he did to you, but he is one of my oldest friends. I don’t want him to get hurt.”

In my mind, I mulled over what she had said. The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. When I overdosed and Richard saw the marks on my body, he had gone after Ben with his fists. The only reason Richard didn’t use his gun at the time was because he was in a hospital. Gert was right—one word from Richard and Ben would be a dead man.

Richard’s voice from that last time I saw him, echoed through my head: “Don’t marry Ben, Sherry, marry me!”

Oh my god, I thought, was she right? Did Richard really love me?

Gert checked her watch. “I have to go now, Sherry.”

After putting on my clothes again, I got up from the bed and walked her to the door. Ben stood at my side and helped Nurse Gertrude Williams put her coat on. She turned her head and even though she was talking to me, her eyes never left Ben’s face. “I told Sherry this and now I’m telling you. You will abstain from sex for at least three weeks and that’s final. Do you understand what I‘m saying, Ben?”

“Yeah,” Ben mumbled. “I got it.”

Gert’s temper immediately flared at the sulky tone in Ben’s voice.

“Don’t you take that tone with me, mister,” she snarled as she poked a finger in Ben’s chest. “You alone are responsible for Sherry being in the state she’s in. Remember that. If you get blue balls, you have only yourself to blame. You keep your hands—and every other part of your body—away from her or you’ll answer to me.”

She stepped away from Ben and turned her attention to me. “I didn’t come over here to only see how you were doing; I wanted to let you know that if you ever need a place to stay for whatever reason, my door will always be open. If you want to talk, call me any time of the day or night.” She took a prescription pad from her bag and wrote her number on it before giving it to me.

I was so moved by her generosity, it took several tries to get the words “thank you” out.

The first month of any marriage is usually the happiest time in a couple’s life but that was not true in my case. Unlike other brides, I couldn’t welcome my husband’s touch—I cringed whenever he came near me. While we were doing the dishes one night, Ben inadvertently brushed against my breast. Immediately, I flinched and backed away.

“Don’t touch me!”

I saw the hurt look on his face and wished I could take the words back but the damage had been done.

Ben sighed. “I guess I’ll call Rich in the morning.”

“Why?”

“So he can draw up some papers and end this. We don’t have a marriage, Sherry, and the sooner it’s over and done with, the better. I saw the look on your face when Gert offered to take you in. You were happy about the idea of leaving me.”

Tears clouded my vision. “I’m trying, Ben, I really am. It’s just that…”

“You can’t stand being near me and you scream when I touch you. I guess I can’t blame you for that, but it appears to me that we no longer have a marriage.”

“You hurt me…”

“And you did the same,” Ben countered. He wasn’t angry, just sad. “I’m not sayin’ that what I did was justified, but I am sorry. I love you, Sherry, but I need you. Not just for sex, although I will admit that is part of it too…Aw, never mind.”

When he turned away, it suddenly occurred to me that Ben had been grieving as well. Most people think that only a mother can feel the agony of losing a child, but they are wrong. Fathers mourn too.

Sometimes late at night when I couldn’t sleep, I’d hear him pacing back and forth in the living room for hours. I remember thinking that he was awake because he was horny but now I saw that that wasn’t the case. Guilt and sorrow had kept him awake. I needed him. My arms ached from not being able to hold him. I missed feeling his body next to mine. For the last two weeks, I had no one to hold me or dry my tears when I wept about our lost baby.

I knew that if we didn’t heal this growing rift, we would grow farther and farther apart until there was nothing left between us. With his back turned, Ben didn’t see me take a step towards him. My mouth went dry and I shook with fear at the thought of being this close to him, but I swallowed and stifled the urge to run. If I backed down now, I knew that I would never be able to live with the idea that I had not done everything I could to save my marriage.

Ben had done the unforgivable when he raped me. But so had I, when I allowed Richard to perform cunnilingus on me. Who was I to judge Ben for reacting the way he did? If I had caught him with another woman, I’d be damn mad too.

I made one of the most difficult decisions of my life. I stretched my hand out and put it on his arm. Ben whirled around. I was startled at the movement and instinctively shrank away but Ben reached out and touched my face. The ice that had encased my heart for weeks began to melt and I went closer to him. Before I could take another breath, I was in Ben’s arms. Our tears mingled and we shared the grief that only the parents of a lost child could ever understand. Together, we both spoke the same words: “I’m sorry.”

Once our tears stopped falling, we simply stood there, looking into each other’s grieving faces. For too long, our minds and bodies had been starved from the absence of human contact. I had missed him so much! I gloried in the feel of his body against mine. From his quickened breathing, I could tell he felt the same. I put my arms around my husband’s shoulders and held him. Hardly aware of what I was doing, I slowly brushed my lips up his cheek. I kissed his strong jaw line before running my tongue over the swirls of his ear and I heard his breath catch in his throat.

“We can’t do this, Sherry. As much as I want to make love to you, I can’t.”

“Why not?’

“Because you’re still healing, that’s why! They said that you were damaged inside. As much as I want you, I won’t risk hurting you again. Anyways, you remember what Gert said--that we shouldn’t make love for one month.”

“It was three weeks,” I corrected. “But that doesn’t mean that we can’t be intimate.” I slid my hand downward until my fingers touched the cold steel of his zipper. I pulled it down and slipped my hand into his shorts. He groaned and I felt him get hard as I stroked him.

“I’ve missed you so damn much. I’ve gone into the bedroom sometimes when you were sleepin’ and I’ve watched you. You’d be lying there all peaceful and calm. You don’t know how hard I found it to walk away and not take you in my arms and…you know.”

“Come back to me, Ben. Sleep with me tonight.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can. Okay, we can’t be together in the usual way, but we’ll just have to be more creative, that’s all.”

“Creative how, exactly?” Ben asked. My husband was coming back to life and I was encouraged.

I placed my mouth next to his ear and lowered my voice. “My lips around your cock and your mouth on my cunt.”

Ben let out a breath in a long shudder. “It’s been so long since I tasted you, it’s been driving me crazy.”

At his words, I felt a thrill of lust snake its way down my spine and pool at my cunt. I ran the back of my fingers over his unshaven chin. “I’m not letting you near me until I get rid of this.”

“You offering to give me a shave?” Ben asked. I saw the ghost of his old self shine through his tired blue eyes.

“Yup. But I’ve never done it before, so you’ll have to guide me.” I got to my feet and looked over my shoulder. “You coming or not? I can’t do this without you.”

He nodded and eagerly preceded me to the bathroom. He put the lid down on the toilet and sat down. Under his instruction, I took the ceramic shaving mug and taking the brush, I mixed up the shaving cream into a foamy lather. I dipped the brush into the whole mess and proceeded to lather my husband’s face. He actually laughed when I dabbed a bit on his nose. My Ben was coming out of his shell.

Until this moment, I’d never dreamed that performing this intimate service for a man could be such an erotic experience—for the both of us. I opened the straight razor and dipped the brush into a mug, working the soap into a goopy lather. After Ben’s face was covered, I ran the blade down his cheek. I rinsed the razor and made a wider swath down his face. I was nearly scared to death but under Ben’s guidance, I managed to shave the left side of his face without a nick.

When I was done with the right, I hesitated. Now I had come to the tricky part—shaving his neck. I knew what to do—years of watching my father shave had given me a good idea how to proceed. But still, I was apprehensive. I told Ben to raise his chin.

As I held the razor in my hand, I felt an overpowering feeling of rage flow through my body. I envisioned myself drawing the razor across his Adam’s apple, making him bleed while I stood by and laughed. I took a deep breath and forced the thought away. I looked down at my hands and saw that they were shaking.

Ben took my hands in his own. “I think I’d better finish up. For a second there, you almost looked like you were gonna slit my throat.”

“I don’t know what happened. The doctor told me to take it easy but I guess I was just trying to do too much, that’s all.”

“I understand, kiddo. For someone who’s never done this before, you didn’t do a bad job. Never nicked me once.” He gave me a smoldering look. “Now it’s your turn.”

I blinked in surprise. “What?”

“You shaved me, now it’s my turn to shave you.”

“You want to shave my legs? But I already did that this morning.”

“I was thinking I could shave your pussy. Make it smooth, you know?”

My jaw dropped in shock and I couldn’t answer him. I felt a flush that spread over my entire body and I was sure that even my ears were red. When I lived in that whorehouse, there were plenty of the younger women who shaved themselves; we had many customers who wanted to fantasize they were fucking little girls.

Having my husband shave me was extremely arousing. But I felt fear as I imagined the injury I would sustain if his hand slipped even a little bit…I gulped.

Ben saw the look on my face. “I promise I won’t hurt you, kiddo. But I understand if you don’t wanna let me do it.”

The more I thought about it, the more I felt myself getting wet. Ever since I started puberty the year before my mom died, the hair between my legs was as thick as a jungle. Ben had never complained about it, but I’m sure my hair couldn’t have been easy to deal with. Yet he never complained. Shaving myself was the least I could do for him, considering he went down on me so often.

“Having it shaved off might be fun, just be careful, okay?” Now it was my turn to blush.

“I will.”

“Where do you want me?”

“On your back on any surface in this apartment,” Ben growled, “but to answer your question, I think the bed will be the best place. I’ll grab a towel and more cream and meet you there.”

I scampered off and did as I was told. I lay on the bed, fearing yet anticipating what was going to happen next. Ben came back and put the towel under my butt.

“Spread your legs and put your feet on the bed,” he said, kneeling over me. I twitched when I felt Ben’s thumbs part my pussy lips. Ben chuckled at the state of my soaked core but didn’t say anything. He slid his fingers down my wet slit and I moaned. I spread my legs wider and dug my fingernails into the bedspread.

“Keep still,” he said.

“I’m trying but it’s so hard!”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Ben growled. I dared a look down and saw that he had a huge hard-on. It seemed that this was as arousing to him as it was to me. I was tempted to giggle but barely managed to suppress myself. When he put the lather on my hot pussy, I couldn’t help but squirm.

“I’m serious, kiddo, stop moving.”

“I’m trying, but the cream is freezing!” I whined. When I felt the cold steel of the straight razor blade touch my skin, I froze into complete immobility, hardly daring even to breathe. He began at the widest patch, the part the forms the top of the ‘V’ of a woman’s pubic hair. He used even, flowing strokes to remove this hair and I was now bare to the top of my slit. Now comes the hard part, I thought. Ben spread my legs further apart and shaved from my inner thighs inwards to my pussy lips. From time to time, he wiped my pubic area with a damp towel.

“Need to see what I’m doin’,” he said when I asked him about this. “I also need to get you dry. Your cunt is so wet right now, I don’t think I’ll need to use any more shaving cream.”

I didn’t doubt him. While I was forcing my body into absolute stillness as he shaved me, the heat pooled between my legs. My cunt ached. My cunt throbbed. And I was helpless to do anything about it. My breathing became heavier. When I felt Ben’s hot breath on my overheated pussy as he took a break and examined his progress with his fingers and mouth, I curled my toes in anticipation and moaned.

“Please…I need to come, Ben. I can’t take this—”

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna leave you high and dry. You’re just gonna have to be patient.”

“Hurry,” I whispered.

One final stroke of the blade and he was done. “There,” he said. “Sit up and see for yourself.”

I looked down and saw how bare I was but I was more interested in touching myself. I slid my fingers down my slit, delighting in how soft the skin was. “I’m completely smooth,” I said in awe.

“Yeah, you sure are,” Ben said.

There was something in his tone that made me look over at him. His eyes were half-closed and darkened by lust and when he spoke, his voice was deep and gravelly.

“Touch yourself, Sherry.”

I lay back down on the bed, and my eyes never left his face. I parted my lips and slid my index finger over my clit. Ben’s eyes were glued on my cunt and what my fingers were doing. By this time, my juices had the consistency of honey and it was thick enough to wrap around my finger a few times.

Deciding to give him a real peep show, I put my finger in my mouth and licked it clean, as if it were the sweetest ambrosia. I did it again with the other hand, but I did it very slowly, heightening his pleasure and mine. His gaze was hungry and he followed every move of my fingers as I played with myself to the moment I licked my fingers clean. Watching his eager and yearning expression was like watching a child wistfully looking through a store window at candy they couldn’t have. Ben was panting now, breathing deeply through his mouth. When he spoke, his voice creaked. “Let me…I want to taste you. I need to taste you.”

With one quick movement, Ben was on the bed and lying between my legs. I gasped when I felt his mouth touch me. With all the hair gone, the sensation of the skin of his face touching the skin of my pussy was amazing. I heard him growl in pleasure and slurp at my juices noisily—the sound was so erotic, I couldn’t help from whimpering. He chuckled and lifted his head to get some air. “I’m just makin’ sure I got all the shaving cream off. You don’t mind, do you?”

“Just be sure you get into every nook and cranny,” I replied in a teasing tone.

“That’s what I intend on doin’,” Ben said, licking his lips. From the light that came from the nightstand lamp, I could see my juices were smeared from his nose down to his chin. “Uh-oh, I think I missed a spot.” He dove back down and I arched my back when his hot mouth encircled my clit. He had done so much teasing; I knew it wouldn’t be long before I came. I grabbed his head and forced it down hard between my legs. I opened my mouth and I’m sure the neighbours thought someone was murdering me from my screaming and shrieking.

When I came down from my orgasm, my arms and legs felt like rubber. Ben continued licking me but even though my clit was extremely sensitive, his mouth and tongue felt soothing. At that moment, I wanted nothing more than to drift off and fall asleep but after my husband spent so much time on satisfying my needs, it was only fair that I do the same for him.

“Lay beside me,” I whispered. “Let me take care of you.”

Ben did as I asked and stretched his long length beside me on the bed. “Nah, that’s all right, kiddo. You can go to sleep.”

I reached down and stroked him through his still-open zipper. “Are you sure you want me to do that?” I caressed him just the way he liked it and he moaned. “Tell me what you really want.” I continued touching him and he let his head fall back on the pillows.

“I want…Oh God, Sherry, I want your mouth on me. Please?”

I moved my body down so I could suck him off. I eased his pants down and threw them on the floor. His cock was standing at full attention, straining hard against the fabric of his shorts. There was a dark stain on them where his pre-cum had leaked, and I put my mouth on him through the material.

He groaned and thrust his hips upward. Using my teeth, I pulled down the waistband of his underwear. When they were around his ankles, I buried my face in his groin, savouring the smell of his skin and pubic hair.

“Hurry,” Ben whispered.

“Patience is a virtue,” I teased.

“You’re a cocktease, you know that?” Ben growled.

Now it was my turn to chuckle in smugness. “Now you know what I was feeling. Payback’s a bitch, huh?”

“Christ!” Ben howled when I put my mouth over the mushroom head of his shaft. With my lips, I squeezed out drops of his pre-cum from the tip. He groaned in disappointment when I took my mouth off of him. I lowered my face until my tongue was at the base of his shaft. I slowly licked my way up his cock as if it were a lollipop and I felt his dick twitch as I did so.

I turned my head and nibbled at his balls, being careful not to hurt the tender sacs inside. Ben grasped my hair and shoved my head against his cock. I relaxed my throat so I didn’t gag when I deep throated him. My tongue brushed against the head of his cock and to do something a little different, I grated my teeth against his skin. Ben hissed sharply but I knew he was loving every minute of this exquisite torture. Payback’s a bitch, indeed.

His hips thrust and he went further into my mouth. I sucked him off with gusto and I could tell that he was going to come soon. He grabbed a handful of my hair; this was so reminiscent of a dim, half-remembered memory, that I was frightened. I whimpered in fear, it was a small sound but even over his grunts and groans, Ben heard me. He released his grip and I breathed easier.

My hand dipped between his legs as I touched his balls. In his fully aroused state, a few more thrusts and he screamed his release and came in my mouth. I swallowed every drop of his semen eagerly. Even after his orgasm was over, I kept my mouth on him. I reciprocated his gentleness on me and just as I had, he came down slowly. When he was completely soft again, I nestled in his arms.

“You’re not gonna tell Gert, are you?” Ben asked.

“I won’t if you won’t,” I promised. My husband and I were back together again. I knew I did not have to worry about him drinking any more. He had me in his corner and would have no further need for liquid courage.