Roses of Stone

Two weeks went by and not a word came from William. Katherine didn’t know what to do but wait for some sort of word. It seemed rather inappropriate to go to the dragoon camp as she always had done before. She paced back and forth a little bit in her room until she couldn’t stand it anymore. Katherine simply had to get out of that building, it was suffocating her. Grabbing her cloak she left out of the room and headed down to the main street to go for a walk.

William himself was not doing much better. He paced in his tent as well, not knowing if he could ever fix this. She had changed so much, and had almost become docile. He wondered if that was because he struck fear in her heart from all the deeds he knew she had witnessed and heard of. The battles were just as fierce as ever, and at the end of each day, his sword was red with blood.

Katherine sat at the foot of young William’s grave arranging some flowers she had purchased to place on his stone. “What am I to do with your Father Will?” She whispered pouring water on the flowers that had been planted there and made a beautiful display. “How can I ever trust that his wrath won’t be turned on me so violently that he would . . . kill me too.” She sighed softly and looked up at his stone. It held his name, his birthday and the day of his death, and right below that, “The son of Colonel William Tavington, and Katherine Tavington.” Katherine closed her eyes and cradled her head in her hand sighing softly.

She stood slowly and placed a soft kiss in her hand before touching his stone, and began to walk back through the city to the officer’s quarters. It was a routine that she had started doing every day, and it helped her get away for a little while. Katherine realized she had stayed longer then usual for the sun was setting and the street lamps were being lit.

Eyes starred at her as usual when she walked passed the other women in the quartering house, as she acceded the stairs and returned to her room. Katherine slowly pushed the door open, to find it pitch black. The curtains were not open and no candles had been lit. She stepped in and closed it behind her, and began to walk to her desk where she could light a candle.

She stopped and spun about, “Whose there.” She demanded to know, having developed a strange sense since her capture. “Show yourself!” She yelled when she didn’t hear anything.

A match was struck and a candle was lit, and she found William sitting down at her desk without his vest and jacket, only his white shirt and his hair down. “William . . .” She breathed wondering why he was always slinking around instead of just greeting her normally when she entered. “Have you been drinking?” Katherine inquired seriously.

“I saw you, in the Graveyard, placing flowers on his grave.” He threw the match down, and picked up a glass. “I didn’t want to disturb you.” Tavington took a sip from the glass before putting it down. “It’s strange, that we have both developed the same habit of visiting our son on a daily bases when we can.” Katherine looked down at the floor, before gracefully sitting in a nearby chair. “It felt as though something more then just William died, doesn’t it.”

“Yes.” She said simply taking a slow breath. “A happiness I never knew existed. Like . . . new doors that were opened were slammed harshly.” She could feel tears starting to approach and she reached up wiping her eyes refusing to cry any longer. “He meant the world to me. Yet it was his nursemaid and nanny’s that got to know him in a way that only his mother should.”

“It wasn’t your fault, Katherine.” Tavington said simply, knowing that it was said a thousand times before and there was no need to press the issue.

“I know. But that is of little comfort.” They sat there in silence for several minutes, just bathed in the flickering glow of the single candle’s light. “I was upset when I said those things to you, William.” Katherine confessed as she looked up at him. “We’ve been married for 11 years. During which time you have always been an officer in the King’s Army. Just because this is the first time I was close enough to see how you do your work, doesn’t mean that I should be anymore afraid of you then I have ever been.”

“You’re most likely the only one to feel that way, Katherine. Even General Cornwallis has expressed his disapproval of my methods even though it benefits him and the king greatly.” Katherine nodded and looked towards the flame. “You shouldn’t be ashamed for telling me the truth, Katherine. I did not like to hear it, but it needed to be said.”

“I’m not afraid of you. I’m much more afraid of the colonials finding there way to capturing me again or even coming face to face with one.” She felt sick a little and placed her hand on her chest so she could feel herself breathe. “There are so many unsavory characters running around this country. So many terrifying looks in their eyes.” She looked back to Tavington once more. “I, of all people, understand why your tactics are so brutal when it comes to them. They are animals that understand nothing else.”

He half smiled hearing her words, looking down at his glass a moment, “Be careful my dear. They will be saying that you as blood thirsty as I, and truly the devils bride.” He put down his glass and moved to the edge of his seat taking her hand in his. “We don’t have anyone left in this world except each other, Katherine.”

“I know this, William. I know it all to well.” She sighed softly and looked up at him, “But how completely devastatingly sad is it to realize that.” William knew it was right, and it was a little on the disturbing side.

“You can still escape me.” He said gently holding her hand in his. “If you were to leave me, no one would blame you. You would have friends that you never even realized you had surface and wish to help you.”

“Not real friends, William. Otherwise I would know they exist now.” They sat there together for sometime in silence. William moved again to his knees before Katherine wrapping his arms around her waist looking up into her eyes.

“I don’t want what we had started together to end this way, Katherine. I couldn’t explain to you in words how blissful it was to discover you anew. To look into your eyes and see a love for me shining out in them that I seemed to have always ignored.” He reached up and touched her face with his fingertips looking into her eyes. “Do you still love me?”

Katherine closed her eyes a moment, and felt tightness in her throat before slowly opening her eyes, “Yes.” Reaching up she rested her hands carefully on either side of his face, “I love you.” William’s eyes lit up when he heard this and he couldn’t help but kiss her right then and there. She kissed him back holding him tighter. “God forgive me, I do.” He wrapped his arms around her and rested his head to her chest just embracing her tightly. She ran her fingers through his hair a few times before resting her cheek against his head and holding on for all she was worth.

Then he leaned up and kissed her deeply, sliding his fingers through her hair as he became more and more passionate. Katherine was hesitating and holding back not sure of what to do, even though she wasn’t uneducated in the arts of marriage, she simply felt to embarrassed about her scars. He pulled back and kissed her softly, stroking her cheek, “What is it, Katherine.” William whispered gently.

“I’m not who I used to be, William.” She whispered back. “I am . . . not sure how it will affect you if you see me.”

“We shall never know, if you do not show me.” He said softly. Katherine was still quite hesitant and ashamed. He reached up and touched her face, “Show me, Katherine.” She looked down for several moments before she finally nodded. Tavington pulled her close again and kissed her deeply, tasting her lips and feeling her soft skin against his.

Slowly he stood to his feet and pulled her from her chair kissing her again, holding her body tightly against his. Katherine wrapped her arms around his neck and returned his kisses, almost feeling as though she could hide a few minutes longer if she held tighter to him.

Reaching up, William pried her arms from around his neck and moved them down to her sides looking deep into her eyes. He slowly moved around her and kissed her neck and shoulder before he began to unlace the back of her dress. Katherine closed her eyes tight shivering a bit. Finally, he broke through the layers of clothing and found her skin. He kissed her neck once more as he slowly slid her dress from her shoulders, and carefully down her body.

His fingertips gently moved over the marks still red and not fully healed. It caused Katherine to tremble a little, they were very sensitive. William did feel sick to his stomach, to see the scars and realize how painful they must have been when they were new. No woman, especially one of Katherine’s position and upbringing, should have had to endure such abuse. He wrapped his arms about her and kissed her neck gently, “You are still quite beautiful, Katherine. In fact . . . something about these new marks on your body . . . is strangely alluring to me.” He whispered kissing her again. “Scars have the power to remind us that the past was real. Although I wish I could wipe them away like it never happened, they are nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I think I should return to England, William. With everything that’s happened, I think that might be best.” She whispered feeling rather uncomfortable at this moment. Tavington just paused for a moment, knowing this subject was going to come up again, but he really didn’t want to discuss it at this point in time. He had other things on his mind.

“Shhhh, Lets not talk about that right now my dear.” Reaching down he swept her up into his arms and carried her to the bed laying her down gently. He started to lay down beside her, only to find her quickly slipping underneath the covers and rolling on her side with her back to him. William raised a brow and stopped feeling rather disappointed and frustrated. He sighed, “Was your body assaulted in someway during your captivity that you avoid your husbands touch?” His voice sounded a little annoyed, even though he tried not to sound that way.

Katherine just lay there for several moments, before taking a breath. “No.” she said simply and quietly. William leaned over and looked at her trying to see her face. “I have other reasons.” Tavington leaned over a little more seeing her eyes starring at a rattle nearby that had been young Williams. That was her reasoning. How on earth was he going to explain this to her without making her upset.

He leaned over her wrapping his arm around her. “Katherine . . . I know that you miss him. I know that you blame yourself for a lot of the things that went on in his short life. You must understand it wasn’t your fault. The fever that he contracted, there was nothing you could do even if you weren’t stolen away.”

Katherine took a deep breath her eyes still on the small toy, “I so wanted to be his mother. I wanted to watch him grow, teach him things, . . . hold him close when he had nightmares . . .” Tears started to well up in her eyes, “But now it’s gone. Whatever chance I had . . .is gone. It can never come back.” She whispered as a tear fell from her eye.

The amount of crying that she had done lately, made Tavington constantly think of a play written by Shakespeare. Strangely enough, the main characters name was also Katherine. “The Taming of the Shrew”. Not that she ever really was a shrew, but she certainly was strong-minded, and opinionated. She seemed so vulnerable now, so weak and childlike. There was no wonder. The fear and pain she had discovered would change anyone’s disposition.

“It doesn’t have to be.” He said gently looking down at her. Katherine didn’t say anything but she stopped and didn’t move wondering what he meant by that. William gently rolled her onto her back beneath him as he lay on top of the blanket and sheets that covered her. “I want to have a family with you, Katherine.” He whispered looking into her eyes. “I want children as much as you do, with your eyes and beauty. I want to see that . . . strange unexplainable magical occurrence, when I look at them, and can both you and myself in their faces.” Tavington just continued to look into her eyes, as Katherine almost struggled for breath. He carefully kissed her lips, as gently and tenderly as could be. Katherine closed her eyes and hesitated but then kissed him in return.

He pulled back and gently cupped her face in his hands, leaning on his elbows on either side of her. “Let me give you a baby, Katherine.” He kissed her once more. “Let me make you a mother again.”

Katherine closed her eyes and turned her face away. “I can’t William . . . please.” She whispered trembling. William stopped and looked down at her. “I can’t go through all of that again. I can’t bare the thought of everything that has happened . . . happening a second time.” She kept her eyes closed tight, breathing slowly.

“I know you’re frightened, I know . . . I can see it in your eyes. We have come so much further now then either of us would have ever thought possible, it will be different this time. It will be better.” Katherine stayed still and silent keeping her face turned away and her eyes shut tight. As though he was nothing more then a nightmare that would disappear if she just held still. William could see that there was no getting through to her, not right now. She was far to upset, and her stubborn mind wouldn’t be budged once a notion got in her head. William started to make another argument, but stopped knowing it would not do one bit of good.

Giving a sigh of frustration, he removed himself from the bed and marched out of the room slamming the door behind. The sound it made was like shattering ice, making Katherine shiver with guilt over turning him away like that. She pulled the covers over her head and silently cried trying to hide her tears from the world.

A week later, Katherine sat at the foot of young William’s grave once again, reading aloud from the book she held. It wasn’t really a children’s book per say, but she felt as though it would be rude to sit quietly and not share what she was reading. Even if she knew he was gone and couldn’t really hear her, it was comforting to imagine that he could. She read two full chapters before she noticed the light was beginning to fade, and the chill was getting almost unbearable with all of the snow that had fallen the past few weeks. She placed a gentle kiss on young William’s tombstone before making her way through the city returning to the quarter house.

She hadn’t spoken a word to anyone since William had left, except when she read in the cemetery. There were so many things on her mind that it felt like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Strangely, Jean had been invading her thoughts rather predominate the last few days, and it was making the guilt she felt over William that much worse. Walking into the house and closing the door behind her, Katherine stopped seeing several officers toasting Andrew as he stood with his arm around Jeanette holding up his own glass. She closed the door quietly and walked into the room a little ways wondering what was going on.

“Sorry it took so long to throw you this small party, Colonel. With the war and all, it seems rather difficult to make time for the important traditions.” Katherine listened hoping to hear some sort of explanation, since she had not heard anything of it. No one seemed to notice that she had come in at all. Andrew kissed Jeanette and the others cheered.

“I want to thank you all Gentlemen. When Lady Botts came to me last week and told me that I was going to be a father, . . . I nearly fell from my horse.” The men chuckled at that, knowing that he was still young and it was only his first child. “And she will make the most beautiful mother there ever was.” The men toasted the couple again, and Andrew and Jeanette kissed once more.

Katherine was stunned. She felt as though a knife had been stuck through her heart. Jeanette hadn’t whispered a word to her, not one word. As her best friend from birth, she would think that as soon as she found out, Jeanette would have come running into her room screaming and shouting with joy. Yet she didn’t. Katherine didn’t even hear of it through whispers of the other officer’s wives, or the other officers themselves. Quietly, she turned and walked back to the door slipping quietly into the darkness. It felt as though she couldn’t breathe and she didn’t imagine that she could breathe any better in the same building.

She walked down the street where she saw a small dinner house was open and she went inside where it was warm. Finding a table she sat down and closed her eyes covering her face with her hand. Had her only friend managed to abandon her too? Was William truly the only one she had left? It didn’t seem fair somehow. To come home to isolation from the entire world.

“You’re looking quite lovely, Kate.” Katherine paused recognizing the thickly accented voice. She took her hand away from her eyes looking up. “Being with your countrymen in your comfortable surroundings once again agrees with you.” Katherine’s throat grew tight as she leaned closer.

“Jean, what are you doing here?” She whispered afraid that someone might hear her, “If they find you here, they’ll hang you.” She looked from left to right growing nervous.

“Don’t worry, Kate. No one knows me by sight, and I doubt they would even care since I am only one.” Reaching up slowly he carefully placed his hand over hers, “We must talk, Kate.” Katherine sighed, what else could possibly go wrong in her life.

“Shouldn’t you be with your men? With the militia?” It was something she was certainly curious about. It seemed strange that he would leave them just to come and talk with her.

“They are with their families, for the holidays. The militia has disbanded for a short while.” Katherine just looked in his eyes, not knowing what else to do. Then she looked down and nodded. “Come.” He said reaching out and taking her by the hand. She stood and went with him to wherever he was leading her. They left the dinner house and he took her to a private place where they wouldn’t have to fear being heard, back to the room he was staying in.

William was on his way back to Charleston as well, since it was indeed the holidays and pointless to stay on the line when no one else seemed to. He was the last officer to leave and made sure to take his time, not anxious to return. Katherine didn’t seem to want anything to do with him at this point in time, and he wasn’t sure how to remedy that.

The news of Andrew and Jeanette’s impending addition to their family spread quickly through the officers ranks. Tavington was one of the first to know since Andrew had made a point of tracking him down to gloat personally. William dismissed it, even though it was tempting to make Jeanette a widow and their child fatherless before it was even born. Yet he refused to give them the satisfaction of knowing they had something to hurt him with.

He would be in Charleston in just a few hours, and thought seriously on removing Katherine and himself from the quartering house at least during the time he was back from the line. There was no need to expose him self or Katherine to the constant gloating that the two would happily make a point to remind him at each turn. He doubted very much that their hate for him certainly would prevent them from granting Katherine an ounce of mercy.

“I was sorry to hear about your son, Kate. I saw you in the graveyard the first day I came into town. Once you left I read the name on the stone and I knew.” Katherine sighed and looked down as she sat in a chair with her hands in her lap. She supposed that he was the only one who genuinely meant the condolences that he extended.

“Thank you, Jean.” She looked out the window seeing the snow fall in the limelight of the street lamps. “It broke my heart when William told me, back at Fort Carolina. Yet there was nothing I could do, he died hours after I was abducted.”

Jean walked over and handed her a hot cop of tea before sitting down beside her. She took it politely and the feel of the warm cup against her cold hands was quite welcome. “And your husband. How did he receive you when you were taken back to him.”

Katherine took a breath and looked up at him, “Jean . . . what are you doing here? Why are you risking your life like this? I’m sure one of your fellow members of the militia would have happily shared his home with you.” He knew she was bold and was going to draw attention to his presence sooner or later. But for some reason he had hoped it would be later.

“You know by now, Kate.” She did know, but she couldn’t let it continue. It would cost him his life and things between her and Tavington were already strained now that she had confessed to him what all that she had discovered made her feel. “I’ve thought about you quite a bit since we parted company. I wanted to see you again.” Katherine still sat in silence not sure what to say. Jean decided that it was best to change the subject for now. “How’s Maddy.”

“She’s doing wonderfully. William refused to let me adopt her as my own, but he has allowed me to sponsor her and I see her as often as I can. She has a tutor of her own, who is teaching her how to read and write, and I made sure that she has plenty of clothes and dresses so that she can wear whatever she desires.” Katherine’s eyes lit up a little bit as she talked of her. “I’ve also started a trust fund for her when she grows older. By then we will most likely be home in England, and I will rarely, if ever, get to see her again after that.”

“Isn’t she with a British family?” He inquired curiously, wondering why she wouldn’t return to England as well.

“Yes. But so many will have the choice to stay here or return home. I myself, am most certainly going home, I’ve missed it so much.” Jean nodded a little as he listened. “And I know mother Tavington will be happy when we’re both home.”

“So you have decided to go back with him? Even though your son is no longer a reason to remain at his side?” Katherine sighed, wishing that he wouldn’t reach into her heart and pull out the one thing that was troubling her.

“There are many reasons to stay with him Jean. I made a pledge to him on our wedding day. I have yet to break a promise that I have made, and even though he has given me plenty of reason . . . I will not break my word now.” Katherine stood up quickly and put down her cup of tea picking up her cloak and wrapping it around her. “William will be coming into town soon, he’ll wonder where I am. After all that’s happened, he might send out a search party for me and you’ll be found . . .” She started to walk towards the door but Jean grabbed her arm halting her retreat. Katherine took a breath and stayed silent for a moment. “I love him Jean.” She said softly before looking at him. “I can’t explain why I do, there is no logical reason for it, but I do. I can’t betray him now.”

William dismounted his horse and walked up the steps entering the house, removing his helmet. He didn’t make eye contact or notice anyone around him. He’d memorized the glares of each face, and was familiar with the deathly silence that came when he entered a room. It did not intimidate him a bit, for he would be the owner of the largest bit of land once the war was over.

Tavington walked up the stairs passing Jeanette and Andrew without care and made his way to Katherine’s room. He wasn’t sure how he would go about seeing her again, after the last time they were in each others company. He almost wished that their standoffish nature would return so they could at least talk to each other, rather then avoiding even looking at each other from moment to moment.

Taking a deep breath, he opened the doors and walked in, only to find the room empty. The bed was made and turned down, the candles were lit by one of the maids, and the windows were drawn, but there was no Katherine. He put down his helmet and raised a brow at this and moved slowly around the room. Everything seemed to be in it’s place, but it was usually midday that the maids did their rounds. It seemed like she hadn’t been here since then.

He took out his watch and looked at the time. Knowing that it was highly unlikely she would attempt to mingle with the disingenuous people down stairs, the Colonel wondered if she had lingered in the cemetery late tonight. William closed his watch and looked towards the door. It was utterly frustrating that she wasn’t here, but also quite understandable considering the reception that was taking place downstairs. The temperature outside was extremely cold, so much so that there was ice on the streets, and fresh snow falling in a fine powder. She would catch her death if she was out to long.

“I can’t believe he actually showed up. I thought he was going to stay out on the line.” Andrew said in a low voice as he stood next to Jeanette receiving a few people as they approached to extend their congratulations.

“It is Christmas after all, and I suppose that Katherine wants him here. Although I can’t imagine why.” Jeanette said smiling and thanking one of the other wives of the officers.

Just then a door slammed and William came down the stairs, and left out the front door slamming that one as well. Everyone looked at each other for a moment before shrugging and continuing on in their chatter. Andrew and Jeanette looked at each other and shook their heads before returning to their guests.

William stormed down the street, intending to scold Katherine if he found her in the cemetery, especially this late. Not to mention he was a bit irritated that she apparently wasn’t invited to her ‘best friend’s’ little get together. He was so quick in his step that he walked passed Katherine without even realizing it, only to notice a few seconds later.

Turning around he walked towards her, “Katherine? Where have you been?” He asked. Katherine turned around and smiled at him a little. “Well? Are you going to answer me?”

“I was at the candy shop, here, have some. It’s still hot.” She opened the box that held fresh fudge cut into bite-sized pieces. Tavington raised a brow at this, and acted as though he wouldn’t abandon his annoyance by a bit of sugar. Katherine smiled a little more. “I know it’s your favorite.”

Tavington just looked at her for a moment before giving in and taking a piece. Katherine watched him, knowing just how much he loved chocolate, especially freshly made fudge. “I was afraid that you wouldn’t come back for the holiday truce.” She said softly. “It was rumored that you were the only officer who was going to stay on the line.”

Tavington finished the chocolate bit and brushed his hands slightly, “I suppose that all sorts of rumors have circulated. Only I think they were hoping I wouldn’t come back.” His eye wondered back to the box she was holding, and Katherine grinned opening it for him again. He didn’t hesitate this time and took another piece. “This is absolutely fantastic, Katherine. Where did you acquire it?”

She pointed down the street, “I found a small colonial candy shop. I can tell you what they do different to make it taste so sweet . . . I suppose they use a different type of sugar or have a different way to prepare it.” Tavington finished that morsel as well, noting that they both seemed to be evading some subject from one another.

“Why are you out here so late, Katherine?” He inquired as she closed the box once more, “You could have sent one of the servants to retrieve this if it is what you truly wanted.”

She gave a nod, “I know. I just wanted to go for a walk, in the fresh air.” The snow started to fall again and she looked up. William watched her as a few snowflakes caught on her eyelashes. She smiled and closed her eyes feeling each little frozen droplet fall on her skin and quickly melt with the heat of her body.

“I suppose then, that you already knew of what was going on back at the house?” Katherine’s smile faded a little as she gave a nod. It was still hurtful to know, that such a wonderful, spectacular event had happened in her sisters life, and she still had not informed her of it. Katherine ran to her to tell her when she was with child, but Jeanette . . . seemed to run to everyone else with little care for her at all.

“On the way into the city, I made temporary arrangements for us whilst I am here. I have already demanded your things to be taken over before I came looking for you.” Reaching up he pulled her hood over her head to keep the snow from making her to cold. Katherine just silently looked at him, almost relieved that he had decided this. Christmas just wouldn’t seem very cheerful if they were surrounded by all the hate in the world that was directed solely at them.

“I would like that.” He nodded and kissed her forehead before taking her hand and slowly continued their walk through the city. When they finally arrived at the small place that he had arranged for them to stay at, the fire was built up high and the bedchamber was nice and toasty warm. A hot meal was waiting for them, and Katherine’s things were all put away in their proper place.

“Hmmm. For the first time since you arrived, it would appear that the impossible was done and competent servants were found.” He said as he inspected their surroundings. Katherine removed her cloak and put it aside before sitting down and removing her shoes. “Katherine.” William said as he approached her, “We must talk. Once you make yourself comfortable for the evening, then we shall speak.” She nodded a little before she adjourned behind the changing screen to slip into her nightgown. Tavington removed his jacket and put it aside rubbing his hands together, and pacing a few steps as he had a lot to say, and knew that none of it was going to be pleasant.