Struggle For Control

A month passed and things between Mort and Alex were
fantastic. Mort had started to watch
Julia a day or two a week while Alex worked.
He had even bought a crib that was able to convert to a bed once Julia
got a little older to keep at his house.
Sure, he was being optimistic about his and Alex’s relationship – he had
no reason not to be…for a while.

Things seemed fine when Alex had invited Mort over
for dinner. He arrived with a smile on
his face and assumed that he would get to spend the night holding the new love
in his life. Alex, however, had called
him over for slightly different reasons.

“Mort,” she said softly, as they began to eat.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> “You’ve been truly wonderful to both Julia
and I over the past several months…”
Mort’s eyes grew wide. “Mort?”

“I’m sensing the always unwelcome ‘but.’”

Alex lowered her head. “It’s not that I don’t want to see you anymore and it’s not that
I don’t love you…You’re going to think this is crazy, but I had this dream and
it really made me think about things and…”

“I’d never think you were crazy,” he muttered,
cracking his jaw. Alex had never seen
him do this before and she found it a bit odd.

“Mort, I just…I need some time.”

“Time?” he asked softly.

“I swear, Mort, it’s just so I can…”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> trembling – she was doing her very best not to cry. “It’s not like there’s anyone else or anything…I just need…we’ve
been getting so serious about each other and I’m just feeling overwhelmed.”

“Oh>“Oh.”

“Not a bad…I’m…I wish I could explain this better.”

“It’s O.K.,” Mort said. “If you need time, I’ll give it to you.”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> He looked down for a moment.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> “Did I do something wrong?”

“No,” Alex said, getting up from her chair.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> She circled to his side of the table and put
her hand on his cheek. “I don’t want to
hurt you, I swear it. I’m just…I’m
freaking myself out a little bit and I just need time to sort through
everything. Does that make sense?”

Mort forced a smile, despite the fact that his heart
was shattering. “It does.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> You’ve been through a lot…”

“But so have you.”

“You have a daughter to worry about too – I just
have me.” God…I don’t want to loose
you…I can’t loose you…

Give her what she needs – she’s already made
it clear that she still loves you.

She keeps him away from me…she makes me happy….

It’s going to be all right.

Alex let tears fall from her eyes.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> “Mort, I love you – I wouldn’t say it is I
didn’t mean it.”

“I know, Alex.
I love…I love you, too.”

“I’ll call you in a few days, O.K.?”

“Yeah…O.K.”
Mort got up and walked to Julia’s highchair. In a very low voice he whispered, “I love you too,
sweetheart.” Julia pulled at his glasses
one last time and he smiled at her. He
made his way to the front door, Alex following him. “If there was someone else…”

Almost sobbing, Alex hugged the now vulnerable man
in front of her. “I would never ever do
that to you.” She kissed his
cheek. “Do you hate me for this?”

Mort gently pushed Alex back; she saw the tears
forming in his eyes. “Not in the slightest...but
please believe me when I tell you that my heart isn’t mine anymore.”

“Neither is mine.”
That’s what scares me. “I’ll
call you, I promise.”

“I believe you.”
He kissed her, then opened the door.
“Goodbye, Alex.”

“Bye…” She
broke down as she closed the door.