Roses of Stone

Katherine stood over her things in her rooms at the quartering house as the servants were helping her pack her things. She had decided that General Cornwallis’s offer seemed like the best course of action and she would be able to go home. She saw a few things being packed into her trunk and she stopped them, “No . . . not those. Those are staying here.” They were small gifts from William that he had given her that she didn’t want any part of anymore.

“Where you going to just leave without saying goodbye?” Jeanette said standing quietly at Katherine’s door. Katherine quieted and folded a few of her dresses and putting them in her luggage.

“The ship doesn’t arrive for a while yet. But I intend to be the first passenger aboard.” Jeanette felt a little weary about this, knowing how quickly Katherine had snapped back into the way she used to be before she came to the colonies. Almost harsher then ever before, and more cold then the iciest day of winter.

“I wish you would stay.” Jeanette said moving a little closer, “You know, so you could help me when the baby comes. You’ve had more experience then I.” She said in a quiet voice.

“Yes, and if you paid any attention during the course of my short motherhood you would have noticed that I was not a very good one to say the least. Obviously otherwise my child would have lived, and another child wouldn’t be carrying my husbands bastard now.” She said bluntly.

“Oh Katherine . . . I didn’t mean to . . . That’s not what I meant at all . . .” Jeanette replied horrified beyond belief that she would think such a thing. Katherine reached up and slammed the lid of her trunk down so hard the windows rattled causing Jeanette to jump.

“THEN DON’T TALK TO ME WITH YOUR INSINCERE COMMENTS!” She yelled. Katherine moved to the bed gathering a few more things. “Oh you should all celebrate. You and Andrew and even Uncle Charlie, who have all been telling me for years I should leave him, or have him killed.” She was holding a pair of boots and became frustrated when she couldn’t figure out a place to put them, and flung them hard across the room and they hit the wall. “I’ll be leaving on the first ship back to England, William will never be allowed to set foot in Britain again, and I certainly don’t intend to return here at any point in my life. So revel in your victory, pat yourselves on the back . . .I am finally taking your advice.”

Jeanette just starred at her with tears in her eyes. Never had Katherine ever spoken to her in such a way. At the same time, she felt terrible that her sister was hurting so badly and she didn’t seem to be able to help. Katherine slammed down a book on the desk, “DON’T YOU HAVE SOME GOSSIPING TO DO!!!” She screamed at Jeanette. She started to say something but just shook her head and covered her mouth, bursting into tears as she hurried down the hallway. Katherine instantly felt ashamed of herself for taking her anger out on Jeanette, and she threw a book at the servants, “GET OUT!” They hurried to leave, almost as if they were glad to escape. They closed the doors behind them and left Katherine alone.

William was still in town, having a few more days left on his holiday leave. He lay face down on the bed drunk as could be, unshaven and starring at the ceiling. It was doomed from the start. A star-crossed marriage from the first day. Only that didn’t really begin to show until he started trying to change his role as Katherine’s husband. It seemed as though the harder he tried the worse it got. However, the blame started to shift with every drink he took. “Pious little trollop.” He said out loud referring to Katherine has he took another deep drink. “All those years, you were just waiting for one big slip up, something that you could look down on me for that would never be forgiven.” He took an even longer drink. “Not that you have ever forgiven me for anything I’ve done, intentional or accidental.” He rolled over on his side starring towards the window.

A knock came at the door, but William ignored it. There was no one on the face of the earth he wanted to see right now. The last person who wanted to see him blasted what was left of his life to pieces with acute preciseness and accuracy. He draped his arm over his eyes to keep out any light that might have made it’s way through the drapes. A knock came but stopped as the person obviously realized that knocking was not about to do any good and just opened the door and walked in.

“You look as bad as you smell.” Andrew’s voice said. William ignored it, and just lay still. Andrew walked in further trying to keep a civil tone in his voice. “You haven’t been seen anywhere in the city, I came to see if you were deceased.” William still ignored him. “Alright, I am here because I would like you to stop Katherine from leaving. Jeanette needs her help now and her company with our child on the way.” Tavington took a long deep breath before letting it out. “If you can’t think of anyone else, then think of Jeanette. It is her first.”

“What, on this godforsaken earth, makes you think I give a damn about ‘what you would like’? Hmmm?” He moved his arm from his eyes and glared up at Andrew. “Your ego is absolutely astounding.”

“I beg your pardon!” Andrew hissed at William, completely stunned at how incredibly flip he was being. William sat up and walked over to the table where yet another bottle of spirits was waiting for him.

“Do you know, the first time I met your wife was when I first encountered Katherine face to face.” He said as he opened the bottle and poured it into a glass. “They were literally hanging on each others arm.” He closed the bottle and put it down. “Katherine was so incredibly infatuated by their friendship she even introduced her as her sister. At first I thought Katherine had been a little . . . confused shall we say? Since I knew that she was an only child.”

“What does any of this have to do with . . . .” William cut Andrew off not giving him a chance to say anything else.

“I never could understand why Katherine chose such a girl like Jeanette for a friend, since she was of such a lower class. No money, no family name, nothing of significance. Definitely not part of the aristocracy to say the least, much less anything else worth mentioning.” Tavington sat down and took a drink from his glass. “I can tell you the exact day that your ‘precious’ wife hated me.” He said leaning back in his chair; “It was the day I took Katherine for my bride.”

“Well of course. She knew what an incredible scoundrel you were. She was afraid for Katherine’s well-being.” Andrew said quickly coming to Jeanette’s defense. Tavington couldn’t help but chuckle dryly at that and took another drink.

“It must be nice to live with blinders over your eyes, ‘Colonel Botts’.” William snapped sarcastically. “I will admit that I played my part well. It’s no secret now that I married Katherine mainly for her father’s fortune. Not even your precious Jeanette could know how I was when I was not courting Katherine.” He finished his glass and then poured another. “She hated me, because I took her playmate away. Katherine became a woman, an adult so to speak, and left Jeanette behind.”

“That is not true. Jeanette was worried about her that is all. How was she to know you were going to take care of Katherine?” William couldn’t help but laugh and almost choked on his drink when doing so.

“She was 12 when I married Katherine you moron. I assure you that Katherine’s health was not her foremost concern! Did she ever tell you that she refused to accept Katherine’s invitation to be her Maid of Honor?” He took another drink, “Katherine started her weeping before she even dawned her wedding gown.”

“You would say anything to put Jeanette in a bad light. There is no reason on this earth for me to trust you. I would never take your word over my wife’s!”

“Nor should you. However, don’t accusingly look at me and think that I am the only one who has been selfish were Katherine is concerned. She has started falling into her role as an aristocratic woman rather well, and has almost made herself one of the drones that call themselves wives.”

“How dare you, sir. How dare you try to slander her like this!” His voice wasn’t as excited as it had been, more like he was crying out for it not to be true. William half laughed and finished another glass. His drinking was starting to catch up with him now, and he cradled his head in his hand whilst he leaned on the table.

“Tell me, ‘Colonel Botts’.” William began, “Did you send her to me in the early hours of the morning as I suspected? Or did she enter my bedchambers of her own accord without your knowledge.”

Andrew’s jaw clinched tight as he glared at Tavington. Not one word was said and he turned leaving the room slamming the door behind. William ran his hands over his eyes and groaned slightly, “Well Katherine. Perhaps I got a little of your own back at least.” He said as he rose from the chair and nearly collapsed, but managed to make it to the bed.

Katherine sat at the window looking out to the new falling snow that covered the scenery in a blanket of clean white beauty. Like what innocents would look like if you could see it. Making the world clean and new with each falling snowflake. It was so quiet she could almost hear them falling on each other.

“Your mother used to sit at the window and watch the snow fall like that.” A voice said from the door. A voice Katherine sincerely didn’t want to hear at this point in time, since she was afraid she would forget herself and say something extremely rude and inappropriate to him. General Cornwallis walked into the room as though he was walking on broken glass. He stood beside Katherine looking out of the window as well as he had done several times before. “You mustn’t dwell on things that have happened so much, Katherine. It will only make you unhappy.”

Katherine’s teeth clinched together tightly almost grinding trying to hold her tongue behind her teeth. The General looked at her for a moment before reaching up and moving the hair away that was in her face so he could see better. “It’s all for the best, you’ll be able to be happy now.”

“I’ll never feel happiness again.” Katherine said simply without even a glance towards the Colonel. Cornwallis just looked at her for a few moments not sure how to respond. Katherine could feel her anger starting to surface and she was no longer holding it back. “For years, people have been telling me what a horrible person William was. How he was simply using me to advance himself in life, and nothing more. They have told me to leave him, to forget about him, and numerous other things that I have had to endure. Truth be told . . . I think I secretly began to believe it, but wouldn’t admit it to myself.”

She finally turned and looked at the General, “When I came here, those 10 years that we were married seemed to have ended, and a new one began. Things started to change, and we were both looking at each other in a different light. Our marriage was starting to get better, and we were trying so desperately to heal old wounds and start again.” Cornwallis remained quiet feeling a sense of responsibility wash over him as she spoke.

“But that is over now.” She said looking back out the window. “Whatever we had started is gone. Not only did he impregnate someone who was not his wife, it was a child that he defiled.”

The General took a few moments to let everything that she had said absorb, and for the first time, Cornwallis realized that he was in the wrong and Katherine was right. Perhaps William was a few times as well. Now he saw her as unhappy and forlorn as ever. HE wasn’t quite sure how to help, if he could even help, or that his help was wanted. He sat down next to her trying to choose words that wouldn’t make matters worse.

“He would not be the first in his position to have children outside of wedlock.” Katherine was a little stunned by what he said and turned and looked at him, “After all, temptations from the lower class tend to make it difficult to turn down. No matter what precautions are taken, children tend to appear at some time or another.”

Katherine couldn’t believe her ears, the General advocating on Williams side? The temperature in hell must have dropped shortly. “My Lord, are you . . . actually defending him?”

“Not at all. I’m simply trying to give you some perspective. How you choose to use that information is entirely up to you.” Katherine closed her eyes and sighed. Cornwallis just looked at her. “You do look so much like your mother.” He said softly.

The General took her hand in his, “Katherine, I realize that I haven’t been fair to you. I know that you are an adult and can take care of yourself, but I can’t help but feel a little responsible for your welfare. I was there the day you were born, and I watched you grow into the woman you are today. I just want you to be happy.”

“Then why wouldn’t you give him the chance to change? Why wouldn’t anyone give him a chance to change? Perhaps things wouldn’t have spiraled this far downward for the two of us if I just stayed at home, and waited for William’s return. I know that I am responsible for some of his ruthless and barbaric behavior. I also know that he was just trying to find someway for us to have a life outside of rumors and hateful whispers.”

“It sounds as though you don’t hate him at all nor hold him responsible for his actions, Katherine?” He cocked his head slightly, “So why are you going back to England if you don’t really want to?”

Katherine just starred out the window feeling her heart flutter in pain when he asked her. “You know he didn’t even say a word to me when that girl came to the ball?” She said softly. “He wouldn’t look me in the eyes, and he just turned and walked away.” She turned away not wanting the tears in her eyes to show. “I couldn’t give him the family he wanted . . . and . . .”

Cornwallis drew her into his arms and held her tight, letting her cry. “Katherine . . . you are still young. There is still time for you to have a family, and have as many children as you would like.” Katherine closed her eyes and it almost felt as though her father was alive and well again. Here with her, comforting her however he could.

“I’m afraid . . . I’m afraid of losing another child . . . of not being able to care for him like a mother should . . . I was cut out of his life . . . completely when I was taken ill.” Her words were rough and were barely able to come out through her lips as she trembled.

“I understand that, Katherine. You know my wife and myself have lost children as well. For reasons that couldn’t be explained if there was even a reason to begin with. But it didn’t stop us, because we wanted a family like you do.” He leaned back and looked down into her eyes, “I know you, Katherine. You have always been courageous and had bravery in your heart. How else would you have come to Charleston on a 3-month ship passage, whilst you were with child?” He hugged her again, “You simply cannot give up on what you want. You must fight your way through the fear, and brave the unknown. Nothing is certain; we can only do what we can. You will have to risk heartbreak if you are ever to find happiness.”

Katherine closed her eyes and clung to the General tightly, she nodded understanding a number of things she couldn’t quite grasp before. That guidance she was always looking for seemed to have finally found it’s way to her. It felt almost as though her father was whispering to her.

William stood at his mirror, with a hangover unmatched by any other pain in the known world. He was cleaning up finally and shaving, after having been ‘ill’ for the past three days. Since there was an officers meeting called early by the General. No matter what was going on, nothing in his personal life should interfere with his duties . . . even if they had in the past. He finished touching up his uniform and picked up his dragoon helmet, leaving the room and locking it tightly behind him. William had a feeling that someone had been going through his things, even though he couldn’t place who it was.

When he arrived at the meeting, he removed his helmet and entered with the others. Tavington had to suppress rolling his eyes at the realization there was a gigantic circle of free space around him, since none of the officers wanted to be associated with him in the least. Tavington cursed something under his breath but then the General walked in laying out plans on the table so they could begin.

Katherine sat on her couch, reading by candlelight a book that had arrived for her in the post. It was from her Mother-In-Law, who raved about what a wonderful story it was. Within the first few pages, Katherine found she was right and couldn’t put it down. A small scratching sound came from just outside in the hall. It wasn’t a usual noise and she wasn’t familiar with it. But she dismissed it and went back to reading once more. Then the sound came again, and Katherine looked towards the door. Reaching over she put down her book and walked towards her door. She cracked it open to look out. It was dark in the hall, the lights had been put out since it was well past bedtime and most of the other families were asleep. The sound came again, and then stopped suddenly as before.

Lady Tavington was a little irritated at the interruption at such a climatic part in the chapter she was reading, and took a candle and walked out into the hallway, and followed the sound when it came again. It led her to a bookcase. Katherine walked around it to find someone curled up with some sort of rag like object to cover them.

The light made it quite clear that someone was standing there, and carefully the blanket was pulled down so that the perpetrator could look up. It was Tawnie. Her eyes were wide seeing who it was, and she curled up a little tighter backing away from her. “What are you doing here, girl?”

“I . . .” She trembled, afraid that she was going to receive a beating. “ . . . I didn’t have anywhere to go . . . it was cold outside . . .” She said. Katherine sighed putting the candle down. Of all the strange situations that she could have been in, this had to be the worst one imaginable. Tawnie started to shake and pressed herself up against the wall even further.

“I’m sure you can understand why I am not overflowing with joy to see you at all, regardless of the place.” Katherine was trying to decide what to do about this. After all, Tawnie was just a child and nothing more. But she was also carrying William’s baby, which canceled out any juvenile concern. Katherine had every right to take a switch to this girl and beat her out of the house and into the street. No one would say a word. But she had never been that way, even though she was expected to be as the wife of the infamous monster Tavington.

Katherine reached down and offered her hand to the girl. Tawnie just starred at her hand before looking up at her. Obviously, Katherine was going to have to put up with a lot and struggle with her desire to take out her anger on this girl. “Come with me. I’m sure you’re hungry.” Tawnie still hesitated shivering from head to toe. It was difficult enough to extend kindness, offering her reassurance was just pouring salt in the open wound. “I won’t hurt you.” She said forcing a gentle voice to speak. “Come with me, you need to eat and get into something warm before you catch your death.”

Slowly and carefully, Tawnie reached out and took Katherine’s warm hand with her icy cold one. Katherine grasped it firmly and pulled the girl to her feet, and picking up the candle. Oh the rumors that would fly if anyone saw this scene. Katherine led her down the hallway and took her into her room locking the door.

“In short Gentlemen, this war has lasted three times as long as it should have and we must use all means necessary to bring this conflict to it’s end. The commerce we have lost and the taxes that have not been paid are affecting England everyday.” He tossed down his pointer and looked at the men, “That will be all.” The officers made their salute and started to leave the hall. All except for one. William remained silently in his place. So quietly in fact that the General didn’t even notice him. When he did, the face peering out from the shadows startled him. “Colonel Tavington. Did you not hear me cast my dismissal?”

William took a few steps closer and stood there for a moment. “I want to know how she is.” He said bluntly, not dancing around words, not standing on ceremony. Just wanting to know the answer to his question.

Cornwallis sighed and turned back to his desk sitting down. “Why do you ask me, why don’t you go and find out for yourself.” He said starting to write something in the plans that he had made and presented to his officers.

“I am the last person she wishes to see. I’m sure that you were the first.” There was a tone of light criticism in his voice. Why on earth would she go to her husband when the general was there to run to. “How is she?”

Cornwallis sighed and continued to write not even looking up from his paper, “This is between you and Katherine. I have no intention of being the third party who remains in the middle as a sort of . . . referee. If you want to see how she is, you may go and ask her yourself.”

Tavington arched a brow at this, “Am I to understand, that for the first time in these past 11 years, you are not going to interfere without Katherine’s request?” he paused for a moment, “Or was that the first thing she asked of you.”

The General tossed down his pen and looked up at Tavington, “Colonel, I am giving you the chance to fix this yourself. Obviously she is not ready to condemn you completely, otherwise she would not still be making excuses for you and blaming herself for your actions.”

“Blaming . . . herself? For what!?” Tavington exclaimed, not believing his ears. Why did she always have to take the blame for everything on herself? Even when she wasn’t at fault and had nothing to do with his actions, she always took responsibility for them.

Cornwallis couldn’t help but glare at the Colonel, “You know, you brought this about Colonel. As your wife, she has taken responsibility where you have not for years. I suppose that some of your mother has influenced her in that way.” The general couldn’t help the way he spoke, growing angrier by the second, “She is convinced that she is inadequate to give you a family, and that is why another carries your child.” He put the papers he was working on aside. “That is all I shall say in the matter, and nothing further. You are dismissed.”

William just stood there a moment, contemplating what he should do and then turned and left the Generals office. How could she think such a thing? How could she even imagine it? Did he say a million times since she was brought back to British territory that he wanted a family with her? That he wanted children? That he wanted a home as far away from England and the gossip that surrounded them as could be managed?

His horse was waiting for him out front and he put on his helmet before mounting. Tavington was extremely conflicted on what he should do and simply started the horse walking. Twice he started towards the quartering house, but turned away to go back to his own place he was staying at. He paused his horse in the street, and finally made a decision. The colonel turned his horse and rode hard and fast before he could change his mind again.

Katherine sat quietly; still reading the book that she had started unable to put it down or rest without knowing what was going to happen next. A knock came at the door and she rolled her eyes and sighed. Everyone else in Charleston was asleep, how is it that anyone left awake was finding themselves at her door. She stood and walked to the door opening it a crack. When she saw who it was she opened the door slowly, not sure if she wanted to have this encounter at all. “May I come in?” The Colonel asked.

“It is quite late at night. I don’t think it would be proper in the slightest.” Tavington just waited quietly looking into her eyes, and Katherine finally gave in stepping back from the door and allowing him entrance. She returned to her seat and picked up her book to start reading once more. Tavington stepped inside and carefully closed the door so as not to make noise and locked it so they wouldn’t be disturbed.

He put down his helmet and walked over to Katherine sitting down in the chair across from her. William noticed that she almost wasn’t paying attention to him at all, and kept her eyes on the pages of the book reading. “I . . . have heard that you are going back to England.” He started.

“Yes. On the first ship that arrives.” She said simply as she turned a page in her book. William wasn’t sure how to keep this conversation going, and tried again.

“You look absolutely beautiful in that dress. Is it new?” Trying to change his line of questioning.

“Yes.” Once again giving him the shortest response possible. How on earth could this continue if she was going to shoot down everything he said trying to get her to open and talk to him.

“Katherine.” He said pointing out to her that she was being rude, and he wanted her to at least give him a chance. Of course, no one could fault her for being rude, she was well entitled to it. Katherine closed her book and put it aside, giving him her full and undivided attention. This was going to be much harder then he imagined. “I know you have something you want to say to me.” He said giving her the chance.

“I have volumes I want to say to you. I don’t wish to speak them aloud.” She just looked at him and then looked at her hands. “I wish with all my heart that you didn’t prove them all right.”

“It was an accident, Katherine. It was never ever intentional. I would not perform such a vile and disgusting act as this in my right mind.” He leaned forward slightly, instinctively wanting to take her hand in his, but knew that it would not be something she wanted. “Whilst you were captive, I was intoxicated at every opportunity, which was usually after dusk because I could not sleep. It was during one of those times that I took her into my tent. You know quite well by now, that I do not indulge in colonial camp followers.”

“Yet you did. And a child none the less, who did not know better, and should have been turned away.” Katherine could feel the pain in her heart starting to arise over this familiar and soul crushing topic. “William, honestly you should go.” She said wanting him to leave before she became emotional again. He wasn’t ready to give up yet, he had to try again.

“Please, hear what I have to say before you turn me out.” Katherine sighed and looked at him, not knowing what else to do and knowing he was just as stubborn as she was, if not more so. “I love you. Something I thought that was completely out of my grasp and simply nonsense to begin with. I never thought I would find it, and certainly not with you when I had ignored you for so long.” He sighed softly, “I am sorry. I never meant to hurt you . . . and I would like to try . . . .” Just then he stopped when he saw movement in her bed. He raised a brow at this, and turned his eyes back towards Katherine. Is it possible that she had replaced him all ready? He stopped and stood walking over to the bed. He didn’t care who it was, friend or foe, they were going to die for this outrage.

“William, don’t.” Katherine said quickly rising from her own seat and following after him. Tavington pulled the covers back and froze in place. Flabbergasted at what he saw. It was Tawnie. She was clean, she seemed to be well fed, and she lay there asleep in Katherine’s nightgown more then comfortable and warm.

“What the devil . . .” He looked at Katherine, “What is this!?!” He exclaimed not even sure if he was dreaming or not.

“Obviously, it is a young girl.” Katherine said crossing her arms. “She was cold, she was hungry and she was frightened.” It was still difficult for Katherine to show compassion or concern for Tawnie, but once again, she was only a child.

“Katherine . . . How could you take her in like this!?!?! You forgive her?” He said still in utter shock and amazement. “She shouldn’t be here, she shouldn’t be anywhere near here, and she certainly should not be asking for your charity of all people!”

“What was I supposed to do! Leave her in the street to starve like some wild animal?” She said trying to keep her voice down so that it wouldn’t wake the young girl.

“Yes! Because that is what she is!” William took a breath, “Katherine . . . you must stop this nonsense of treating those who are not of equal value as if they are. You have a position in life to maintain and this is not it! Do you know what sort of rumors that will begin to circulate about this if it is found out?”

“William! How could the rumors get any worse then they already are? They cannot, and no matter what we do, we will never be “Equal” in their eyes. You have no idea how incredibly difficult it is for me to show this girl any kindness at all. I wanted to take a switch to her. Yet that would not change anything, what is done, is done as you are so fond of telling me.” Katherine covered Tawnie back up with the blanket and went back to the couch picking up her book and settling in again. “She is going back to England with me, and she will be sent to a convent. They will take care of her there, and insure that she and the baby will grow and be healthy. She surely will not find any kindness here, otherwise she wouldn’t be looming about in such a dangerous place as behind our lines.”

“Katherine . . . you don’t have to do this.” William said walking over to her, “Why do you insist on making yourself suffer? She is not your responsibility, no matter how pitiful she might appear to you.” He sat down across from her again, “She is quite infatuated with me, and she will most likely not hold her tongue about it, and rattle on constantly. Which is something you will have to endure if you insist on going forward with this venture.”

“I think that it would be most appropriate. To remind me why I’m going back to England and not staying here with you.” Katherine said harshly. William was stunned, and didn’t know what to say.

“Does nothing between us matter to you?” He asked solemnly.

“It did.” She replied opening her book and beginning to read again where she had left off. William started to say something else, but in truth, there was nothing more to say. He stood silently, and picked up his helmet, leaving the room. Katherine put her book down once he was gone and covered her face with both hands, starting to cry.