Be All, End All

Dom took the bottle and showed Darynn up by tipping the bottle up for several long swallows. Well, so much for him needing to catch up to her.

“What are we doing here, Rynn?” he asked softly, turning the bottle slowly between his large hands, his eyes on what he was doing.

She shrugged, “I’m getting ready to camp under the stars. You’re perched on my truck. Other than that I couldn’t fucking tell ya.”

His lips thinned as he looked at her.

She took the bottle back, hitting it for nearly as long as he had. She had to swallow several more times afterward. Damn, that was harsh. “What do you want, Dom? I wanted away so I could think about shit, but you felt like coming with. So either we sit here and talk shit out or you come down here and stargaze with me as just a friend.”

He looked up at the stars that she’d indicated. “Are we friends, Rynn?”

She smiled. That was a trumped question. How to answer one way or the other. Finally she answered as honestly as she could. “Not really.”

He faced her again. “Why?”

Darynn huffed and took another long drink. It got easier. “I don’t know, Dom. Probably because we can’t be near each other without thinking about fucking. We’ve never had a normal conversation. I’d say we’re opponents before friends.”

“Who’s fault is that?”

She grinned, “Totally and completely yours,” she said and handed him the bottle.

He took a drink and gave the bottle back. Then he moved carefully onto the mattress. He ended up sitting against the tailgate, ankles crossed just to her side.

“So we gotta talk about shit to be friends. Could I ask you some relationship advice?”

Her chest tightened. She ended up nodding, fearing what he would say.

“You’ve know Brian a long time. What does he expect from me?”

She blinked in surprise. Taking a drink to hide her reaction she stalled in speaking. “Brian wants as much as you can give him.”

“What if all I can give him is over?”

She twisted to look at him, the bottle passing between them. “I don’t want to be a factor in any of this, Dom.”

He shook his head, seeming lost in thought. “I knew what it would cost when he let me go that day. I knew he’d come back expecting something. I couldn’t not take those keys, but I knew he’d be disappointed one day.”

“But you were with him before, and now again. He cares about you, probably loves you.”

He stared at her, “So?”

Darynn gasped at his heartlessness.

“I’m not trying to be mean, Darynn. He knew the way I was, the way I lived. I’ve wanted him, but I’m not going to change my lifestyle for an urge.”

Darynn bit her lip, taking the bottle back. “He wouldn’t want you to.”

“What?”

She shrugged, “The four of us grew up without taboos. Other people’s stereotypes were something we knew of, but we never let it affect us. My first time was with two guys. And there were times that all four of us would be in the same bed.”

He frowned, “Wasn’t one of them your brother?”

She smiled, nodding, “Yeah, but there was never much worry there. Paul is completely gay, not incestuous.”

He smiled hesitantly and she forgave him. She knew it sounded strange, but it had never been wrong in the least. “Anyway, Brian wouldn’t want you to choose to be with him if you weren’t completely sure. Gay men have it hard enough without one of them feeling like they’re there just because they owe it to the other.”

“I’m not gay,” he corrected.

Darynn waved her hand in dismissal. “I wasn’t summing up your sexual orientation, I was just saying.”

“So what’s your sexual orientation?” he asked, his smile showing his true interest as he took the bottle.

She shrugged, “Whatever I want it to be.”

“Maybe I should ask what haven’t you done?”

She grinned, “Very little. I’ve been with women, obviously.” He nodded slowly here. “I’ve been with men, multiple men, couples. I enjoy anal, I swallow, and as a fun fact I’ve fucked Brian in the ass too.”

He stared at her, the bottle lowering. “You what?”

She shrugged, “Brian’s not completely gay, but he’s very honest. He likes it in the ass. We were screwing around one night and it just happened. We pretty much have always done it that way since.”

“How often are you with him?”

She took the bottle, feeling a heaviness in her brain of the alcohol took its toll. “It’s been a while, but it was pretty regular before he left for the academy.”

“Roman too?”

She nodded, taking a sip. “Yeah, it was normally the three of us. Paul found other partners as we got older.”

They sat in silence, passing the bottle back and forth regularly. Darynn felt like he must think she was the biggest slut in the world, and hated the inequality of stereotyping. Men could have different partners every night and no one batted an eye at their promiscuity. A woman showed that she was comfortable with sex, even if the partners were consistently the same ones, and she was instantly labeled.

“Was Brian your first?”

“Hmmm?”

“You said you wanted Brian. Was he the first guy you were with?”

He sat looking thoughtful for a minute. “I’ve been with who knows how many women and you want to know about the men?”

Darynn smiled, “Well, I knew with you whoring ways that there was no way you could tell me all the women’s names. I was trying to go easy on you.”

His lips twitched into a smirk, “I don’t fuck everyone that throws themselves at me.”

“No? Just every other one? That’s still gotta keep you busy.”

He gave her a half smile that told her he knew she wasn’t completely kidding, and had no defense. “I’ve only been with a couple other guys.”

When he didn’t continue she just sat waiting, which was both easy and difficult to do. The music and alcohol gave her sluggish mind something to do, but the alcohol also made her impatient. Finally when he didn’t go on she asked, “Did it start in prison or before that?”

His face closed. She could literally see it happen. Not proud of going to the pen, huh? “Brian mention that?”

That he’d been to prison? She nodded, even though Brian hadn’t, at least that she could remember. For some reason she’d just assumed. Dom had the hardness that she’d seen in ex-cons. A wariness that always seemed to be present, even when he was in the midst of his supposedly trusted team.

Dom wouldn’t meet her gaze now, and she had to suppress a sigh of regret. Why were men so ashamed of the things they did to survive? No one but him was pointing a finger. “Yeah, the first time was in the pen. I figured I’d hate even the idea of it after I got out.” He shrugged, finally lifting his eyes, “Vince has been the only other since.”

Darynn nodded. She’d pegged that one, hadn’t she? But now wasn’t the time for congratulatory back pats. “You still see it as wrong?”

He shrugged one bare shoulder, “Not wrong, but—“

“But not something you’re ready to advertise,” she finished and he nodded slowly.

She passed the bottle back to him. It only had an inch or so left in it and she figured she’d leave it for him. Her limit had been somewhere two or three shots ago. Scooting around she laid down, her head resting on the bump of a pillow next to his ass. She sighed, tucking one hand under her head.

“So where does this leave us?” he asked.

She watched him swirl the alcohol in the bottom of the bottle. “Same place we were before.”

He huffed out a breath and finished off the bottle in an impressive display. Of course she was biased, she thought as she watched his bicep flex and his throat work. He capped the bottle and rolled it down the mattress. It hit the bed next to the cab with a loud clatter but didn’t break.

She tilted her head in contemplation as she watched the bottle hit. A little harder and there’d be some glass poking holes in her air mattress and she’d be back to sleeping in he cab. She looked up at him to find him looking around them at the dark desert.

Conversation over? She really didn’t care at the moment. Sleep sounded good and she was really quite comfy even though her butt was on the hard bed because the mattress was so thin. She hadn’t expected some grand revelation to come from them talking. What? Were they supposed to declare their love and have a romantic proposal under the stars? And while they were at it they could define how they’d spend their lives and pick out names for their dozen rugrats-to-be.

She smiled at her farfetched musings. A whisper of subconscious told her she wouldn’t have conjured the images no matter how ludicrous of she didn’t want something just like it. She ignored it. Wudn’t ever gonna happen either way.

Minutes had passed and she was just letting her brain forget about waiting for words from him and get down to the serious business of dreaming about him when he spoke.

“Hmmmm?”

“What do you want, Darynn?”

Had she just been thinking of sleeping? Her eyes rolled behind closed lids. A slap in the face couldn’t have woken her up more. “Seven to nine hours of sleep?”

“Shut up.”

She sighed and rubbed her face before tucking her other hand behind her head. Her elbow touched his thigh. Their first contact. “Say what you mean, Dom. You want to know what I want from you?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

She sighed again and seriously tried to think of what she did want. No perfect answer came, save that rose-colored reverie from earlier, which was worth another laugh.

“I don’t know. I never really thought past fucking you.”

He smiled, “Always to the point.”

“Life’s too short for subtlety. You saying you thought past scoring?”

She could see he didn’t like her choice of words, but he shook his head while sucking on his lower lip all the same.

“What are you going to do?” he whispered, his voice rough.

She shrugged, “I’m probably going to fuck you some more, then the question will be: what will I not do?”

He was frowning down at her, though her little declaration had gotten his full attention.

“I—“ She didn’t get further. Dom pushed against the tailgate, lifting his butt and shifting downward. She paused, looking up at him. An elbow came down beside her head and then he was coming at her, lips seeking hers.

Her hand rubbed down over the prickles of his scalp and held him there. Their tongues met and the alcohol wasn’t the only thing affecting her brain. She sighed into him, letting him know that she accepted this.

He shifted lower, his leg pinning one of hers, his hand sliding in beneath her shirt to sear her belly with the rough heat.

“Are we going to pop this thing?” he murmured after feeling them rocking back and forth from his movement.

She licked her lips, tasting him and the vodka. “We can try.”

His grin and his eyes shining above it were nearly feral. A wolf looking at its kill. She just smiled in return and wrapped the one leg she could around his.

“Our bare asses are gonna be hanging out in the desert,” he teased.

“Guess we better finish ‘fore the sun comes up.”

They didn’t.