Lighten Up Would Ye?

a wee bit longer...
this does go on a while. lol

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(1.3)


Starting with half empty bottles, most of us were fairly confident, none more than the Captain.
In the first round, (after determining who drew first, and it was Maccus, AGAIN), Maccus drew a five and designated three to me and two to Hadrus. Clanker made a rule that there was to be no pointing through the rest of the game. Hadrus gave out three drinks – Two to the Captain and one to Maccus. Shudders had a Category and chose clothing.

“Hat!” said Davy, a little louder than was necessary.

“Corset!”

It went on: Breeches, Cloak, Boots, and Knickers (Groesbeck once again glanced my way when he said this), Davy said Gloves, and my turn came around again. Waggling my eyebrows again and flipping my hair, I growled deeply “Loincloth”, causing poor Maccus to sputter and miss his chance… and so he had to take a shot. I got a pat on the back by Bootstrap and felt proud.

Davy drew a four and gave them all to Shudders with a quite noticeable glee. Shudders himself didn’t look so good afterwards. The belch he produced smelled like old sausage.

I thankfully got the Piss Off card and hid it.

Three more rounds went by and Shudders was almost gone. That’s what you get for messin’ with me, ye dirty bastard, I thought as I watched his eyelids droop more and more. I gave up my previous notion of getting Hadrus drunk and focussed more on Groesbeck, mostly just wanting him out of the room so he’d quit staring dreamily at the low cut of my shirt. It was ruining my fun, and fun was rare here.

Thankfully when I drew the King I had a little more than a sip or two left over in my bottle, so chugging wasn’t a problem. Koleniko came around and gave me another bottle, which I had problems getting a decent grip on. Damn.

In the Fifth round, Maccus made the No Cursing rule, only to have the lot of us curse his name and have to take a shot for our trouble. Even the Captain told him off. I gave him a silly grin and he grinned back.

Davy’s next card was the Chug card. He was also on his second bottle but his was ¾ full. I could swear, for an instant and no more, worry flashed in his eyes. But his bravado soon won and with a nonchalant flick of a tentacle he lifted the bottle. The entire room chanted “Chug! Chug! Chug!” as he did this, and I looked on with unrestrained respect as he finished without a belch. He took a moment to breathe, then, with a smarmy smirk, said “Refreshing!”

Thank the gods that this stuff is slightly watered down grog, not pure rum, or he’d be unconscious. It was still admirable though, as the rum wasn’t exactly weak. I cheered along with the others, and then took my turn.

I drew a Ten.

Drunk as I was, it was nothing in comparison to the Captain, who was now on his THIRD bottle… so maybe I could get him to say something. I honestly didn’t know much about him besides what I’d ascertained from his mannerisms and what the crew told me. What better way to get to know the leader of the pack than getting him pissed? To my own mortification the first question that popped out of my mouth was:

“So, Cap’n…when was the last time ye had a good tumble with a woman?”

No matter. Without a second’s hesitation, Jones answered, “Five months ago.”

Clanker spewed his rum and I giggled. “Really? Where?” I asked out of pure curiosity.

Jones smirked. “That be two questions, lass.”

Damn.

Sixth round, Maccus also drew a ten and asked if I was still a virgin, so I removed my boots. It was none of his bloody business. (I wasn’t, but it was so long ago that I forgot about it. Totally unsatisfying.)

Clanker and Hadrus both handed out drinks (both to me and Shudders, the bastards). Shudders, taking a moment to steady himself, drew a Rule card and now we couldn’t call each other by our names or titles again.

Things loosened up even more after the seventh round, the rum finally taking the full effect on us all. I had the biggest dumb smile on my face and I couldn’t wipe it off. Maccus had trouble keeping his head up, Clanker seemed to be doing okay, just slurring a little. Hadrus on the other hand could barely keep a hold on anything and had to be steadied by the men behind him. The Captain didn’t show his drunkenness, but I could tell by his tentacles movement he was not sober. That and he made more of those popping sounds. I restrained myself from giggling whenever I heard them.

I almost dropped my bottle and swore, Maccus pointed at me and laughed, and Davy told us both to drink for breakin’ the rules, saying both our names. We laughed and I gestured at him with my chin, “You too, twice!”

While he was drinking I pulled my hidden card and yelled “Piss Off!”

The Captain damn near choked but he said it in time, glaring at me as he did so. I stuck my tongue out at him like a child and he chuckled.

Hadrus jumped and said it, but it sounded more like ‘Pish Orf!”

The last one to say it back was Groesbeck. With a pleading groan he sipped his rum, finishing his second bottle. As soon as he swallowed, he breathed rather hard, his eyes rolled back and with a smack his forehead bounced off the table.

“YES! No deck swabbin’ for me!” I squealed and chair-danced in victory as three of the crew dragged Shudders up the stairs and to his hammock. My belly lurched in protest so I stopped. With the constant sway of the ship, I wasn’t reacting well to the rum. By now I had no qualms about tellin’ my belly to quit its achin’, but pointing to it and saying ‘Shush you!” got me a few strange looks.

Last round of the second game. Maccus drew the last Rule card and said, very incoherently, that we couldn’t say ‘drink’, ‘drank’, or ‘drunk’. Being that I liked to point and yell ‘Drink’, this put a new and horrid spin on things.

“Hell.” I muttered, only to get poked in the ribs by Davy’s claw-hand. “Damn!” Shush or you’ll be in for three! The look I was getting from Jones got me laughing in the middle of my second shot and I sputtered. “Doesn’t that count as pointing?”

“I poked, not pointed.”

“Same difference.” But I let it go. For now.

More drinks were distributed, and Hadrus was swaying in his seat but still in the game. He drew a Truth Card. Very inebriated, he asked Davy (using his title as well, earning him a shot) what year he was born in.

Davy actually hesitated. I leaned forward with my elbows on the small table and waited with interest. I knew he’d been around for a while, definitely centuries, but exactly how many was unknown to me.

With a sigh he removed his one boot and tossed it behind him, hitting Jimmylegs. “None o’ yer business.”

Ignoring the cries of protest he shakily drew his card. “Sssseven…Waterfalls.”

Oh Hell.

He started drinking, looking sideways at me with a glint of mischief. I raised my bottle in challenge and started up, then Maccus, Clanker, and finally Hadrus. Davy swallowed and swallowed til half his bottle was gone, then finally put it down with a grunt, turning in his seat to watch me. I held on til I near finished my bottle just to bug Maccus, who did the same to Clanker, who held out the longest, polishing off his second bottle. Hadrus’s eyes were bugged out with the need to breathe but he made it.

The room looked a little funny. Lines were beginning to blur and I knew that I wouldn’t last through another full game if it kept up this way, especially if we lost Hadrus. I had to strategize quickly. Take down the enemies faster, especially Maccus, as he was the original rival. I didn’t mind losing to the Captain but at the same I wanted him taken down a few pegs too, not so wide a margin between us. That left Clanker, who was a smarter player and generally quieter so he didn’t get caught swearing as much. Clanker I didn’t mind losing to either. Hadrus was no longer a danger, I could tell just by lookin’ at him he was a goner.

I didn’t even have to draw; I knew the last card was the story card. Reaching lazily out I plucked it up and slurred, “Story Time!”

The story went as far as: “As (Me) I (Maccus) played (Clanker) fiddle (Hadrus) for (Jones) the Queen, my pants fell off and my…” Hadrus completely buggered up trying to repeat the entire sentence and had to drink, which he did with as much enthusiasm as he could muster. When the last drop of his bottle hit his tongue he fell over backwards and landed on the floor with a painful sounding thwack. (Would have been painful if it weren’t for the shell)

He was not so gently dragged out of the galley to his bed and we all waved and shouted at his departure. All we got in response was a pained groan and his flat naked arse. So THAT’s what he took off!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Second game over and four players left. Only now did I understand how idiotic it was of me to challenge a bunch of pirate sea-creatures to a drinking contest. The saying “drink like a fish” occurred to me when I looked at my ¾ empty bottle and knew I wouldn’t make it through a third one.

Unless…

“Quick break?”

The suggestion went over well as the entire galley emptied in an instant, even Davy. I watched him leave and realized I’d never seen his bare foot before. It was fully human, and rather large. I grinned.

Bill was sweet enough to help me up and I escaped to relieve myself and get a breath of fresh air, and maybe, if I had enough time, some food to soak up all the booze.

On deck I leaned against the nearest railing and made the mistake of staring at the rolling waves below. Ooooog. I started feelin’ dizzy and held on to the rail as tight as I could. Wouldn’t do me no good fallin’ overboard, now would it?

NO! Sober up ye silly wench, ye have three more people to beat. Have some pride and sober the hell up or you’ll be cookin’ all day tomorrow! Gotta teach these men that you can whoop their arses!

Now re-determined, I squared my shoulders, mumbled a prayer in my native tongue and moved away from the railing, only to smack into a wall.

Walls don’t have tentacles, girl, yer drunk.

I took a deep breathe of clean ocean air and looked up at my amused and not exactly sober Captain. I couldn’t resist lookin’ at his giant foot again so I did, also noticing the small crate he must have set down before I rammed into him.

“Feelin’ alright, Issssa?” He slurred his S’s even more now that he had nearly three bottles of watered down rum coursing through his veins. I looked back into his face and got caught in the glazed blue fire of his eyes.

He’s testing you! Don’t show your weakness!

With all the sobriety and pep that I could rally, I answered, “S’Fine, Cap’n. Hungry.”

Moving closer to me so my back was to the railing again, he growled “Down to mmmuh… mmmono…monosssssyllabics are ye?”

I laughed up to his face, “Yer not doin’ much better, sir.”

“Call me Davy.” As if to answer my questioning look, he added, “Just for tonight.”

I couldn’t help the warm fuzzy feeling I got in my belly. It was an allowance he would not normally consent to anyone else, at any other time, and I was flattered.

“Wassin the crate?” I slurred, trying not to laugh at myself. I knew damned well I sounded dumb, but I really couldn’t help it!

Davy glanced at it, “New rum, and the good sshtuff. Comesss in smaller bottles, much more potent.”

Bugger me! Stronger? I laughed and he grinned impishly.

“Well, Davy, I’m gonna find me some food ‘fore we start round three.”

I patted his shoulder as best I could and stepped under the arm that somehow appeared on my left, clamped onto the railing. Mmmm. Big.

I scampered off before he could fumble his way around more words, but I think I heard his claw hit the railing with a dull crack as I weaved away downstairs.


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Thankfully I found some bread and cheese that hadn’t gone mouldy yet, and downed that quickly with as much fresh water as I could find. I knew the secret to sobering up, and it was water.

I made it back to the Galley with a little help from Bill, who kept telling me I was doing just fine. And really, I was. The air did me good and the food nicely settled in my stomach instead of fighting it’s way back out, which I was eternally grateful for. I don’t think I could ever live down puking on the cards. Not that I was sober but I didn’t feel quite as woozy.

Around the small table we gathered once again. Now that there was more room, Bootstrap and Koleniko took the two chairs and sat at the table. Davy and I had to share a bench (he was rather large so I was teetering on the right edge), Maccus and Clanker shared the other one. They leaned against each other for support.

We talked it over quickly and decided to write down the rules. It would take a keen and sober observer to catch us in our mistakes and hand out fresh bottles of the fine rum the Captain brought out, so we delegated Bootstrap and Koleniko, both of whom took the roles with pride.

Davy took the quill in his good hand and started writing the rules down. I watched and admired his astonishingly delicate cursive. For a drunk he wrote beautifully.

The only card changed was Seven, from Waterfalls to Dare (do the dare or take something off. Obsessed with flesh we were). Once that was done, we upped the winning pot as well. The last one to pass out, vomit, or plain give up, got their individualized prize.

I stuck with the four course meal, and requested that Davy play a song NOT of his current repetitive repertoire as dinner music. And to top it off, Clanker and Maccus had to call me Mistress as they served me. This was met with much exasperation but they relented after I called them ‘Whining Children”. Yes, that included Davy.

I brushed his shoulder with my own and commented lightly, “Ye just might have to learn a new piece!”

He looked down at me with flashing eyes, “I doubt ye’ll win Isa, so I needn’t worry.”

I just scoffed. “Time will tell.”

Davy’s prize, he decreed, was a day off, served hand and foot by the losers, and we had to scrub his organ. I snickered when he said that and got a light poke in the cheek with his tentacle finger. The rest of the room bust out laughing.

“Dirty!”

You couldn’t wipe the grin off my face with a mallet.

Maccus wanted to sleep in for three days and Clanker had to polish his boots. I would also have to promise not to tease him about the tea thing anymore. Clanker wanted a new hat and better food for three days, plus one night of freedom with his flute. The adoration in his voice made me almost hope he won.

All this was recorded by Davy in case any of us tried to weasel our way out of the bet. I so far was the only one to demand Davy’s services and I secretly hoped nobody noticed.

The third and final game began…

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

52 Cards, a good supply of rum, and a room full of drunken men who would probably lose some clothing. I think I was in heaven. All that was missing was some good tobacco and soft music… but the crashing waves of the ocean would do.

I got first draw, and got a Six. We all yelled “Cheers Mates!” and clanked our freshly opened bottles of sweet smelling dark Cuban Rum together and drank. Bootstrap and Koleniko both had bottles as well and swigged occasionally from them, remembering their promise to be the sober ones in this game.

Davy drew a Pee card and smirked.

Clanker drew a Nine and the dozen or so men observing applauded a little.

“One...” said Clanker.
“One night…” slurred Maccus.
“One night my…” I said, eyeing the candle nearby for focus.
“One night my wench…” Davy said with a wink. The crowd ‘ooooh’ed.
“One night my wench stripped…”
“One night my wench stripped and…”
I laughed my way through this one, “One night my wench stripped and played…”
“One night my wench stripped and played with…”
“One night my wench stripped and played with my…”
“One night my wench stripped and played with my organ…”

Davy started coughing and couldn’t stop until Clanker whacked him soundly on the back. “Sorry to say it Cap’n but ye gotta drink.”

“Sorry for makin’ ye choke, Davy.”

He waved off my apology and took his drink. “S’alright, lass. It sounded ssstrange comin’ from yer mouth’s all.”

Organorganorganorgan…

GAH!

“Isa?” Maccus interrupted my bad, torrid thoughts so I snapped the hell out of it before I actually said something aloud.

“Oh, sorry, what?”

“Ye just turned bright red.”

“I’m three sheets t’ the wind, Mac, gimme a break.”

Very true. He just shrugged and drew his card, which he hid.

I drew a Dare Card. A slow grin spread out on everyone’s faces. “Oh, Maccuuuuussss…”

“Oh no.”

“Oh yeah. I dare ye to take off your boots and wear ‘em on your head for the rest o’ the game.” I pointed right at him. “Or yer shirt goes.”

He ended up doing it after a full minute of contemplation and now he had them dangling off the sides of the hammer extensions on his head, the toes dangling downwards making them look like over-long puppy ears. The whole room bust out in fits of uncontrollable mirth while Maccus just sat there seething.

“I’m gonna git ye back, ye know…”

I blew a strand of hair out of my face and stuck my tongue out at him.

Davy drew a rule card and declared that anyone caught saying the words “I, Me, or You” or it’s other forms, would have to drink. We all whimpered rather pathetically.

Clanker drew a five and distributed two to the males and one to me. Maccus drew a three and gave them all to me as payback for the boots. In the midst of my third sip I began to slide off the edge of the bench. Before I could even reach my arm out to catch myself Davy’s arm wrapped around my waist and hauled me back up on the bench. I thanked him and finished my third drink, not minding that he neglected to remove his arm…

I got to distribute five drinks to the others, Davy distributed 2, and Clanker got a Pee card. Maccus unfortunately drew a Truth card and automatically his eyes snapped up to me. Shit. I’d already lost my boots and bandanna, I wasn’t sure if I could lose anymore without looking indecent. All I had under the outer shirt was a thin chemise and … no.

“So, Isa, Where’dya take yer baths on this ship?”

BASTARD!

“That one’s been asked already.” I hoped he’d try another one. “Oh, and that’s two drinks…”

Maccus growled but took his punishment. He would not budge however.

“Fine!” I hid my face in my hands and mumbled, “I wait til everyone’s asleep and bathe on deck.”

“Where? And that’s one drink.” Maccus persisted.

“Anywhere hidden and easily dryable. Changes every time. Boothead.”

I’m sure every male in the room was mentally going over every part of the deck and thinking of possibilities. I blushed just thinking about all these men visualizing me naked and bathing. A change of location and tactic was in order now… damn it all.

I distributed two drinks to Maccus. Davy drew a Categories card and he chose types of sharks, which I resolutely argued that it gave Maccus an unfair advantage. But surprisingly Davy was the one who ran out of ideas after four times around the table and had to drink. Even with his arm around my waist his one extended tentacle finger was long enough to grasp his bottle and drink, although I did get a bit squeezed when he did so. Again, I didn’t mind so much.

Clanker drew the King and had to chug the rest of his bottle. Bootstrap slid him a new one with a smirk. Maccus distributed two drinks to the Captain and two to me. I got the confession out of Clanker that he had an insatiable lust for women with gargantuan breasts. Davy got a king and chugged his remaining rum.

Clanker drew a Dare Card. Despite his outward appearance he was rather intoxicated, and showed it:

“Captain, I dare ye… to kiss Isa square on the lips.”

~*~*~*~*~


you guys should see the pic my bud Kyra made of Boothead Maccus, it's great. heh.

Spanx!!