Whisper Your Weakness

Chapter Thirty-One

Luke froze as Mara’s mouth closed tenderly over his, and when he gasped, she took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, sliding her tongue into his mouth. His senses reeled, overwhelmed at everything that had been thrown at him in the last few hours. For a moment, he forgot all of that, and just let himself float away in the bliss that was Mara kissing him.

But as it always did, Viktor’s harsh laughter began echoing in his ears and Luke pulled away from her with a whimper of distress. He felt torn at the frustration evident on her face and tried to apologize.

“Mara, I’m sorry, but I just can’t. He won’t go away, I can still hear him, he won’t go away.”

Again, she put her hands on either side of his face and refused to let him look away from her. “Listen to me. Look at me. Viktor is gone. He can’t hurt you anymore. This is me, and I love you and I would never hurt you.”

“I know that, I do. But when you touch me…in that way…I can’t help but remember what he did,” Luke said in a small voice, feeling ashamed. He could see Mara trying to be patient and knew how difficult that must be for her. She’d never been known for her patience.

“Okay, how about this? You just sit here and relax. Let me show you how much I love you by touching you. We’ll take it at your pace so you’re in control and if you want to stop, then we’ll stop.”

“I don’t think-”

“That’s just it, Skywalker. I want you to stop thinking and just feel,” Mara whispered, and as she was speaking, her soft hands were sliding down to caress his shoulders.

Still unsure of himself, but wanting this more than he’d wanted anything in so long, Luke sat back against the sofa and tried to relax as her fingers trailed along his arms, gently kneading his tense muscles in a loving massage. He closed his eyes, doing his best to keep concentrating on Mara, and pushing Viktor out of his head.

An ache began building in the pit of his belly and Luke couldn’t help but remember, now that he was allowing himself to do so, how wonderful the physical relationship between himself and Mara had been. Of the few lovers that he’d had in his life, there had never been a reaction to anyone as intense as the one he’d felt for Mara Jade.

She was taking things extremely slowly, softly caressing the length of his arms with her hands and then she raised his hand to her mouth, gently kissing each one of his fingers one by one. His other hand got the same treatment and then she leaned forward to press her cheek against his shoulder, and he could feel her soft breath on the skin of his neck. Luke tensed for just a moment, Viktor’s ghost rearing its ugly head in his memory.

Mara sensed his reaction and whispered, “Me, Luke. It’s Mara, not him.”

Luke kept his eyes closed but nodded shakily and released the breath he hadn’t been aware he was holding. She waited a moment for him to calm a bit, and then pressed her lips to the side of his neck in a tender kiss. That one was followed by several more feather-light kisses to his face, so delicate that he could barely feel them on his skin. Luke squirmed a little, that ache in his belly growing a bit stronger as long-forgotten feelings began fluttering through his veins.

It was when he felt Mara’s fingers begin to undo the buttons on his shirt that his panic flared once more. His eyes flew open and he stopped her motions with his hands on hers.

“Don’t,” he said, cringing a little at the fear evident in his voice.

“Why?” Mara asked gently, carefully not being accusing or demanding.

“I don’t…the scars. I don’t want you to see them.”

She gave him a gentle smile. “I’ve seen your scars, Luke.”

“These are worse,” he whispered, ashamed.

“Looking at your scars could never be worse than never getting to look at you or touch you again,” she said, her voice low but firm.

As he gazed at her, Luke could see the conviction of truth in her eyes, and some part of him was quietly astonished that she’d gone to so much trouble to look for him, to fight for him. He knew in that instant that he could never run away from this woman ever again. Luke had thought that he’d needed to be alone to heal from the wounds Viktor had inflicted, but looking back now, he realized how incredibly wrong he’d been. Mara loved him. She loved him enough to chase him halfway across the galaxy. Luke decided that it was time he let her catch him.

“Fear,” he said quietly as he continued to hold her gaze.

She tilted her head to the side, a quizzical look on her face. He squeezed the hand that his was holding, trying to find the courage to open up and show her everything.

“That’s my weakness, Mara. Fear so strong and so deep that it’s paralyzing. I can’t…I can’t get past this-” he said.

“But you can, Luke!” she protested.

“-not by myself,” he continued deliberately, briefly ignoring her interruption.

Gazing at her intently, he silently willed her to understand what he meant so he wouldn’t have to shame himself any further by asking for what he needed out loud. Luke watched as the realization dawned in her eyes and her smile was so bright that it almost blinded him. He’d only ever seen that smile on her once before in his life…and it was on the happiest night he’d ever known, the night when Mara had admitted her own fears to him and given him her heart. Luke was desperate to have that feeling back again.

She leaned forward and kissed him and Luke gasped, both in surprise and in delight at the pleasure that instantly roiled through him. Mara reluctantly pulled away from his mouth and cupped his face with both her hands.

“I swear to you, Luke Skywalker, that everything I have to give is yours. No holding back ever again,” she said, her voice thick with emotion.

“No holding back,” Luke agreed, his own voice husky as well. “I love you, Mara. So much that I can’t begin to tell you,” he said, and now he was getting choked with tears.

“I love you, too. Let me show you how much,” she whispered, and her hands fell back to the buttons on his shirt.

Luke tensed again, but didn’t stop her this time, just watched as she slowly peeled the shirt away to reveal his scarred torso. To his relief, Mara didn’t flinch or show disgust. Instead she looked up at him with a tender smile before she glanced back down to trace the new scars gracefully, first with her fingers, and then she leaned down to trail along them with her mouth.

Luke’s body tensed again, this time for an entirely different reason. His head fell back onto the sofa, his hips instinctively surging upwards as a helpless groan slipped past his lips. It had been so long and he had been stupid, so stupid to deny himself this, to reject the love and desire Mara had for him. With an effort, Luke let go of all his fears, all the insidious little worries that had been hammering at his head and soul for all these months. He let them all go and gave himself up to Mara’s touches and her love.

He gasped aloud when Mara’s mouth drifted down from his stomach to breathe softly over the erection that was slowly growing from her attentions. Luke hadn’t been hard in so long, he’d half worried that the thing wouldn’t work anymore. Those fears were laid to rest as Mara’s fingers nimbly unfastened the snaps on his pants and slid her hand inside to caress the bare skin of his cock. Luke moaned, his hips snapping upward as his fingers dug into the fabric of the sofa.

Then he felt the wet heat of her mouth closing over the head of his cock and his eyes flew open as he jerked his head up to look down at her. He couldn’t resist bringing his hands forward to rest gently on the back of her head as she began to go down on him in earnest, carding his fingers through that flame-colored hair that he’d missed so much without even realizing it.

“Oh, my gods. Oh, Mara! So good…” he breathed.

Mara looked up at Luke from between his thighs and somehow managed to smirk even with her mouth full, her eyes twinkling at him mischievously. She pulled off him with a dramatic little flourish, her tongue swirling around the sensitive tip, making a shudder run through Luke’s entire body. He watched as she quickly and methodically stripped her clothes off. His eyes drank in the mesmerizing view of her naked body and he sat quietly while she then lifted his feet to pull his boots off one at a time.

Her hands reached up to grasp the waistline of his pants, slowly tugging them over his hips. As she did, Mara leaned back up and pressed her mouth against the tender skin of his balls. Luke groaned as he felt her teeth lightly graze his ever-tightening sac, the warmth of her breath making him immediately break into a sweat. She raised up once more, and an involuntary whimper of disappointment was pulled from him, but he calmed once he realized she was only moving away long enough to continue taking his clothes off.

His shirt and his underwear joined the growing pile of garments on the floor and at last, the two of them were completely bare. Mara slid her hands up the length of Luke’s thighs, pausing to stroke his fully hard cock a few times before she stood and deposited herself onto his lap.

Her hips flexed against him a few times, sending arrows of pleasure from his groin all the way up to his chest. Instinctively, his arms wrapped around her, pulling her into full contact with his body. Mara shivered and threw her head backwards as she ground her pelvis against his a little more urgently.

Luke tilted his head forward to put his lips to her breast and Mara gasped as he sucked her nipple deeply into his mouth. But after only a moment, she gently pushed his head away and he looked up at her in confusion.

“This is about you, not me,” she said softly.

“But-” he tried to protest.

She put one finger on his lips, silencing him before he could get started.

“Indulge me.”

He looked deeply into her eyes, and caught a glimpse of the tiny plea there, and realized this moment, this act, was as critical for her as it was for him. She needed to do this for him, as much as he needed for her to be able to do it. Shakily, he nodded, and let go of her to lean once more against the back of the sofa, offering himself up to her mercy. But he wasn’t scared, because he trusted her, with everything that he was, and he tried to let her see that in his gaze. Mara’s tender smile let him know that she understood.

She leaned forward again to cover his mouth with her own, the kiss so intense that it seemed to be a promise in and of itself. Then she pulled away slowly, their lips still clinging to each other until the last possible moment. Deliberately, Mara raised up on her knees and reached one hand down to guide his cock to her wet entrance. Luke tilted his head back, breathing in sharply through his nose, nostrils flaring as she slid downwards slowly, completely enveloping him within the depths of her body.

His breathing quickened and he felt on the verge of hyperventilating as his body tried to process everything he was feeling. It was heat, pleasure, satisfaction; dizzying in its power. He was surrounded, encased in warmth, protected, loved. And then she began to move and everything increased tenfold. Luke couldn’t hold back a cry of ecstasy as his hands moved to grip her hips tightly, wordlessly encouraging her movements to become faster and harder.

Just when he thought that nothing could possibly be better than the sensations her every move caused, Luke felt the gentle nudging of her presence against the heavy shields he’d continually kept erected around his Force essence. His eyes flew open and he stared at her in shock. She smiled at him, continuing to love him with her body while she pressed on the shields a little more insistently.

She moved forward to breathe in his ear, “Let me in. You know it’s where we belong, Luke. I’ve missed you so much…”

He was unsure, having closed that part of himself off for so long that he felt a little frightened to risk it again. But he had trusted her so far, how could he not now? Hesitantly, he dropped the shields, letting her Force presence wash over him and mingle with his. Instantly, every emotion, every sense became so enhanced that it was staggering in its intensity.

Both of them cried out in amazement, their movements pausing for just a moment to allow their overwhelmed bodies and senses to adjust. Luke was lightheaded, almost drunk, at the joy that rushed through him as their Force bond quickly reestablished itself. It was like finding paradise after wandering in the desert for years and years and Luke couldn’t believe what an idiot he’d been to deny this to the both of them.

Mara laughed softly. “I forgive you, love.”

“You’re too good for me,” he gasped.

“Oh, no. Not true, Skywalker. We are perfect for each other. Now let me remind you just how good Force-enhanced sex can be,” Mara said, with a wicked little smirk.

Mara more than made good on her promise as she moved sinuously over his body. Luke was on fire, tiny darts of pleasure skimming under and over his skin as she pushed him closer and closer to his peak. He tried to hold back, to wait for her to get there first, and finally, thank the Force, he heard her gasp loudly and Luke managed to open his eyes long enough to see her throw her head back. Mara’s inner walls clenched around him rhythmically, as her fingernails dug sharply into his shoulders.

Luke’s awareness tightened, focused in on the intimate connection they shared both physically and in the Force, until it flooded his mind. And then it exploded, bursting outwards into such intense pleasure that he could see nothing but stars behind his eyelids and he cried out in astonishment. It seemed to last forever, but eventually it began to fade, the very air around them shimmering with the aftershocks as he slowly came back to reality. When he opened his eyes, Mara was watching him with a smile on her face, and it was the most tender, beautiful smile he’d ever seen.

He felt so much emotion that he couldn’t even begin to put his thoughts into words – love, desire, gratitude, regret, a little fear – each of them seemed to be battling for dominance within his fevered brain. Luke wanted to tell Mara that he loved her; that he thought she was the most wonderful woman in the entire galaxy; that he’d missed her; that he was sorry he’d hurt her by running away; that he was so thankful she’d chased him down; and one tiny part of him worried that she would decide he wasn’t worth the trouble. He opened his mouth, and found that his voice was lost, so overwhelmed was he by what had just happened between the two of them.

Mara smiled wider at him, and tucked a finger under his chin, pushing his jaw closed before she leaned in to kiss him softly.

“I promised before, Luke. I will never let you go again. Everything will be all right, I swear it,” she vowed.

The last of his fears fell away as he returned her smile. Because she was Mara, and she was his, and she believed in him. And so he believed in her.