The Map

A/N: Well, once again AniSparrow has surpassed herself, thank you so much for kicking this into shape.

This chapter is going to be in two chapters for fanfiction and two for adult fiction, but there are extra parts in the adult version which can be found at adult fanfiction net under Boshomengro.

As usual, own nothing whatsoever to do with Disney or POTC or, unfortunately, Jack Sparrow. Although I have it on good authority that Forbidden Planet Home Shopping are releasing a new 6 inch Jack Sparrow action figure (wave 2 for those of you into action figures). I shall certainly be having a look-see and buying if it outdoes wave 1 figure! (Which currently stands on my shelf above the computer! Along with Twin 1 & 2, Legolas (shield riding) and Boromir… oh and my Gizmo Bobblehead and Darth Maul figure… opps forgot my teeny tiny McDonalds Gandalf figure…. ) Okay, now I’ll get off my geek box and let you read the next chapter….

Thanks for the heads up on the missins chapter!


Chapter 34

Waiting for Jack

Nell wasn’t certain if she could wait any longer. She had eaten everything that had been placed on the tray, not only her portion but also Jack’s. She wasn’t sure he’d be too happy about that, but she had been so hungry and completely unable to resist it; so Nell reasoned that, seeing it had started to grow cold anyway, she couldn’t let it go to waste, so she’d tucked in and finished both plates, quite content to think over what had taken place between them. Nell hadn’t realised that such feelings could be created in a person just by touching alone. He’d asked her to trust him and she supposed she had, but truth be told, the moment he touched her, all coherent thought tended to leave her and trusting wasn’t uppermost in her mind.

The sun was sinking lower in the sky and dark shadows in the corner of the cabin grew, and Nell found herself become more and more agitated, but it wasn’t because of Jack not coming back. Her eyes were darting backwards and forwards between the lit lanterns that did little to really light the cabin properly. Her thoughts veered sharply from Jack, her mind kept going over the events on the island and no matter how much she tried to concentrate on anything else, it was futile; the monks, the images and the overwhelming feelings that had been with her constantly on the island were refusing to leave her. Her eyes kept going to the bottom of the bed where, in her dream, the monks had been standing, looking so real and so threatening.

She slid her feet into her still damp boots; screwing her face up at the unpleasant feeling, she quickly shed them and stood up bare footed. Taking the lantern in her hand, she doused the others and headed out of the cabin door and into the even darker corridor, intent on finding Jack. Shivers ran down her spine, but she shook herself for being so weak minded. The horrors of the island were behind her; the only harm that they could do now would be of her own making in thinking about them. Shaking her head, she passed the main cabin where she knew Will and Elizabeth were probably still sleeping and headed out onto the main deck, stopping for a few seconds in the doorway, relieved to see the familiar sight of the crew working on the sails, shouting at each other. She came a bit further forward until she could see round the corner of the curve of the stairs that lead to the deck above her. The brilliant contrasts in the colour of the sky - the beauty of the sunset and the blackness of the impending storm, sent curls of fear coiling in her stomach. Nell felt as if she were back on the island and trying desperately to climb a sheer rock face that seemed humanly impossible. She could almost hear Jones behind her, shouting, cursing, and threatening. Sweat broke out on her forehead as she shook her head, trying to clear the images; knowing that she was safe aboard the Pearl and nowhere near the island. She clutched at her stomach, forcing herself to take deep breaths and concentrate on where she could see Coals and a few others scaling the rigging to free the sails. She could hear another voice, calling out orders and with a jolt she realised it was Jack she could hear.

Nell saw someone emerge from below decks and as she watched she realised it was Norrington helping Lady Clarence, with Bryant behind her. She thought about slipping up to Jack but just as she moved forwards, Norrington lifted his head and caught her gaze. He hailed her and Nell realised she wouldn’t get away with pretending not to see them so she lifted her hand in reply and waited for them to come closer.

“We’re going to outrun it,” Norrington said firmly as he came towards her, noticing her pale face and shaking hands, the lantern swinging from her fingers. “There’s no need to worry ladies, Captain Sparrow has us almost at safe harbour. We’ll shelter there till the storm subsides and then be on our way again.” Norrington reached out and took the lantern from Nell, smiling at her.

“I was just going up to see Jack…” Nell tried to pass them and was surprised when Norrington reached out and took her elbow, his smile a little too wide.

“No need,” he said briskly. “Captain Sparrow has already informed me of his plans. I can answer any questions you have.”

“Where are we headed if we are almost at safe harbour?” asked Nell, aware that La Romana was too far to make such good time in. She let Norrington lead her back into the corridor wondering why he was reluctant to let her go to Jack.

“Aruba,” Norrington replied and saw by Nell’s face she had no idea where it was. “Aruba lies of Curacao it’s a small island with no ports as such, but Sparrow will probably harbour in one of the fishing villages.” He looked at Bryant and Nell saw something silently pass between them that made her frown.

“Is this a bad place to stay for him – or you?” she asked when it became apparent that neither man was going to say anything else. She watched Bryant look briefly at Norrington before he set to lighting the lanterns that were around the cabin. If the winds picked up anymore or if the storm overtook them, then he’d have to douse them but for the moment they were safe to remain alight. He turned and settled himself on the window seating, watching as Nell crossed to sit on the bunk with Lady Clarence. Norrington was still stood in the middle of the room; booted feet spread wide to balance himself against the roll of the fast paced ship.

“Or is it bad for both of you?” Nell spoke up again, her hands beneath her thighs as she leaned forwards swaying slightly.

Norrington drew in a breath and looked at her. “Strictly speaking, Aruba is used by pirates; some of the villages are pirate havens so Sparrow should be in pirate heaven!”

“Who protects it?” asked Nell, aware that it had to have some protection to keep the King’s Navy from attacking it if it was that small.

“Curacao,” Bryant snorted. “Curacao is ceded, and a centre for smuggling activity and is home to the largest black market in the New World. Anything can be bought or sold there, from prisoners to parrots - any object, of any quality, but the price is the issue. It’s protected by the power of the Governor-General of the West India Trading Company who lives there.”

Nell nodded, understanding that some sort of agreement had been drawn between the two of protection in exchange for some of the loot that passed through her villages.

“But that’s… that’s not legal surely! It should be stopped!” Lady Clarence had also come to the same conclusion that Nell had but was more vocal about it. “It’s outrageous!” Lady Clarence was saying. “A man in a position of such importance shouldn’t abuse it this way, something should be done!”

“We don’t have the power to stop that kind of activity,” Norrington said. “It lies very close to the Spanish Main. Besides we’re kept very busy with Tortuga and Port au Prince and the like without straying into other waters.”

Nell began to realise the extent of what Norrington and Bryant stood against and how very little they could actually accomplish. It occurred to her that Captain Jack Sparrow, while he probably was the best pirate to sail in the Caribbean, was only a drop in the bucket that Norrington and others like him faced in controlling. But if someone didn’t try and prevent it and there was no control at all - where would they all be then?

“Will we be safe there?” asked Lady Clarence and Nell smiled at the knowledge that despite her convictions to the injustices of the world, her own safety was still paramount. It was typically Lady Clarence and restored Nell’s sense of balance again.

“As long as it doesn’t become apparent that Sparrow has red-coats aboard,” Bryant said with a hint of self-mockery. “If that news should come out…”

“He won’t announce it,” Nell said quickly.

“He won’t risk news spreading about what he has in his hold at the moment either!” Bryant snorted and grinned at her. “I would imagine he’ll not let anyone leave for shore long enough to pick up some supplies and then as soon as this storm clears we’ll be heading out.”

“And that’ll look strange in itself,” Norrington mused. “He’ll have to put in some sort of appearance not to arouse suspicions.” He swayed as the ship suddenly listed heavily and Bryant taken completely off guard slid from the seat and landed on the floor with a bump. Nell laughed, quickly covering her mouth with her hand to cover the laugh, but Bryant had heard her.

“Very funny, Miss Nell.” He pulled a face at her as he scrambled to his feet. “Glad to be of amusement to you.”

“Sorry, Mister Bryant,” she replied cheekily. “Pray, have you hurt yourself at all?”

“No, ma’am, at least not withstanding my pride.” He inclined his head and went back to the seat. “But thank you for asking.”

Lady Clarence looked between them at the apparent ease between them and a slight frown puckered her forehead before she smoothed it away quickly when she saw Norrington watching her, and she turned her head away from them and looked towards the end of the bunk. A gleam caught her eyes and she reached forwards to pick whatever it was up. A dagger came loose from the covers; it blade wickedly sharp and its handle made from some sort of bone. She opened her mouth to ask whose it was and then promptly shut it when she realised it was probably Jack’s; she slid the dagger into the folds of her skirt and turned back as if nothing had happened. It had occurred to her that Jack had been in the cabin with Nell and she wasn’t so indiscreet as to give Nell away in front of the Commodore and his Lieutenant, but she did make a mental note to talk quietly with Nell later and find out exactly how indiscreet Jack had been with her.

“Well, Ladies, you’re settled for the night here. If there’s nothing else you require tonight we shall leave you.” Norrington interrupted Lady Clarence’s thoughts and bringing her attention back to him.

“Shall we reach Aruba tonight?” Nell asked quietly, for some reason she was reluctant for them to leave. It must be the approaching storm; already the pitch and roll of the ship was visibly worse and Norrington was using his arms to help balance himself now. Nell shouldn’t be silly, she knew that if things became worse someone would come and tell them what had to be done. Hadn’t they experienced bad weather more than once on the trip from England? But still something didn’t sit right with Nell and so she stalled for time.

“We’re not far, if the wind stays with us then we should be anchored well before first light,” Norrington said quietly, crossing to the lanterns that were starting to sway dangerously. “We’ll need to douse some of these a little, in case of fire.”

Nell watched anxiously as the lights were dimmed until only two lanterns remained lit; the one that would stay in the cabin with them and the one Norrington would take with him and Bryant. She cast her eyes around the room as the dark shadows returned, her heartbeat sped up and the hairs on the back of her neck prickled.

“Nell?” Bryant watched her quietly from the window seat, her anxiety was clear to see. “Are you nervous of the storm?”

Nell jumped and looked at him before trying to laugh it off. “Yes, silly isn’t it? We went through worse than this from England but it still…” she trailed off.

“It can be nervous for a seasoned sailor,” Bryant replied and stood up suddenly. He moved with experienced ease to sit on her other side, close enough that Nell could feel the entire length of him against her and it was comforting. “Sparrow will out run this, I’m sure of it. The Pearl is fast and his sailors know exactly what’s required of them.”

Nell realised he was trying to make her feel better. His very presence beside her eased the sensations across the back of her neck but didn’t relieve the fear that had been planted into her soul on the island. He leaned forwards and leant his elbows on his knees, looking up at Norrington; an unspoken message went between them and Norrington crossed to sit on the seat Bryant had vacated. Neither men would be retiring from the room until the storm passed or they were safely anchored.

Bryant looked sideways at Nell; she was still sitting with her hands under her thighs, her face pinched with worry, but it was the way her eyes darted around the room that concerned Bryant.

“Nell is something wrong… I mean, something else,” he spoke quietly but the proximity of Lady Clarence meant she heard him anyway.

Nell opened her mouth to deny it and then sighed tiredly. “Not really,” she sighed again. “It’s silly really… I feel asleep earlier and dreamt… well, I dreamt I saw the monks here.” Her heartbeat sped up as she remembered how real it had seemed. “It’s silly, of course it’s silly, but it just unsettled me.”

He sat up straight and she felt his arm slip around her waist; and while she was selfish enough to take comfort from his presence she knew that it was Jack she really wanted with her.

“It does get easier, Nell,” Norrington said quietly from his seat. “It might not seem it now, when dreams and memories get entangled, but it does fade with time.”

Nell looked up at him. “Does it?” she asked doubtfully. “Does it really?”

Norrington sighed and ran a hand over his face. “Yes, it does, Nell, though I can’t suggest anything else to help it ease except time.”

“I can,” Bryant said quietly and looked sideways at her. “Come back to Port Royal with us. I know, thanks to Sparrow’s accord, you’ll be able to settle wherever you choose but you’ll be safer with… us. I’ll look after you, you know that.” He looked away frowning as if he wasn’t happy with what he’d just said.

“I’m not in any danger aboard the Pearl,” Nell said quietly, aware of a sudden tension in Bryant. She liked him, liked him very much, but she wouldn’t allow him to try and sway her opinion of either Jack or the crew of the Pearl. She had no desire to leave at Port Royal, but she was unwilling to create even more tension by announcing her plans to stay with Jack.

Lady Clarence cleared her throat and stood up straightening her dress. “Well I think decisions like that are for making in the morning light. I’m sure that we will be perfectly all right here now, gentlemen,” she dismissed them with a hint of censor in her voice. “I’m sure that Nell will be fine with my presence here, won’t you Nell?” She didn’t even wait for a reply as she barrelled straight onwards. “Thank you for escorting me here, I trust that when we see you again in the morning we will have safe harbour.”

Norrington knew when he was being thrown out, but he wasn’t prepared to be thrown out unless he knew Nell was completely happy with being left. He remembered well the dreams that had haunted him after he’d fought Barbossa’s skeletal crew and he was sure that once again he would encounter his own fair share of dreams when he was no longer running on adrenalin, and because of this understanding he knew that Nell had every right to be afraid of falling asleep.

He looked directly at her when he spoke. “It’ll be no reflection on you if you wish us to stay while you sleep,” his voice was quiet and calm and Nell realised, not for the first time, what a genuinely kind man he was; how kind they both were.

“I’ll be fine.” She stood up, breaking eye-contact with Norrington. “It was just a dream, a silly one at that, but thank you anyway.”

Bryant stood up at the same time Norrington did and together they crossed to the door. “Then we’ll wish you a goodnight,” Norrington spoke to them both but his eyes were on Nell. She avoided his gaze and concentrated on the smooth line of his jaw, idly noting the cuts and bruises that still coloured his face. Bryant opened the door and they went out quietly, shutting it behind them.

“Thank heavens for that!” Lady Clarence sat back down on the bed. “I was beginning to think they were going to stay all night.”

“They would have if you hadn’t thrown them out,” Nell remarked moving to turn the lanterns back up again. Norrington had taken one of the lanterns with him and the shadows were back.

Lady Clarence looked at Nell sharply. “You wished them to stay?” she asked with some surprise in her voice. Her eyes narrowed and she moved slightly so she could see Nell’s face. “What exactly is between you and the Lieutenant? I was under the understanding that Jack held your heart and from what Mister Hock implied, it was returned.”

Nell looked up at Lady Clarence in surprise. “Between Mister Bryant and myself? Why, nothing! What ever made you think otherwise?”

“He was sitting awfully close to you, he had his arm around you and he offered to protect you in Port Royal,” Lady Clarence pointed out frankly.

“He was being friendly. We are friends,” Nell spoke clearly but she could feel the heat rising in her face when she remembered how he had kissed her in the caves. “He is like a brother to me.”

“Hmmm.” Lady Clarence was obviously not convinced and she didn’t hide it. “I have yet to meet a man that would offer so much without having something in return. And I’m not referring to friendship as the return!”

Nell felt her blood begin to rise at her words. “I think you do him an injustice. He’s an honourable man and he offers me nothing but friendship. And you do me an injustice to assume that I would throw myself upon a man merely for protection!”

“In that case I apologise,” Lady Clarence replied quietly, but her eyes narrowed as she observed the colour in Nell’s face. “It wouldn’t be the first time a woman has done that though, and lived to regret it, no doubt.”

A low tapping on the door made Lady Clarence look up expectantly. “Come in!” she called. Nell realised with a sinking feeling why Lady Clarence had been so determined the officers had left when Hock stuck his head around the door and grinned at both of them, reaching out for Lady Clarence’s hand as she went straight to him.

“Captain Sparrow will no doubt be down soon.” Lady Clarence looked back at Nell; the cuts and bruises she’d accumulated on the island stood out in sharp relief against the pale skin of her face.

“We’re nearly at Aruba,” Hock said quietly. “Gibbs will take us in.” He left it unsaid that Jack would be coming down but it was clear in the wink he sent her. Two bright spots of colour lit her cheeks as they slipped out of the room and shut the door. Nell looked around her, pressing her palms to her heated cheeks; the room was dimly lit and it suddenly sank in that she was once more alone. Apprehension curled through her as she went to the bunk and once again sat down to wait for Jack.

It seemed like hours that she sat alone and lonely in the cabin and with no one else there, the dark shadows in the corners were ominous; reminders of the dream she’d had earlier. She wondered if she’d ever be free of them, free of the things that lay in the back of her mind, waiting to edge forwards and torment her sleep. Nell gave a deep sigh and gave up on waiting for Jack. She slipped from the bunk, doused all the other lanterns and taking one crept out into the dark corridor. If he wouldn’t come to her then she’d just have to go to him.

<><><><><><><><>

Jack was sitting, brooding quite openly at the table in the mess room. He took a swig of rum and swore heavily under his breath.

“Are you going to tell me what’s on your mind?”

A soft voice had him flipping up his head, beads swinging madly as he saw Nell stood beside him. He drained his rum and slammed the bottle on the table; in that one instant his mind was made up and there was no turning back.

“Come with me; we need to talk, lass,” he slurred, the amount of run he’d consumed not totally without blame for the way he swayed on his feet when he stood up. He held out his hand to her and she took it without hesitation. He all but dragged her up onto the main deck so she had to walk quickly to keep up with him, the lantern swinging madly from her fingers as they crossed the deck. He drew her down the corridor and into the cabin, shutting and locking the door behind him.

“Sit down,” Jack instructed Nell, taking the lantern from her, watching as she crossed to the bunk and sat down, a worried frown on her face. “No not there, at the table.” If he wanted to get through this, then he could do without having to look at her sitting on a bunk. He waited till she crossed to the chair and then he began to pace the floor, arms stretched as he walked an imaginary line from one end of the room to the other. With every passing second Nell was getting more and more confused and more and more frightened.

“Jack, please…” she finally begged. “What’s wrong?”

“I want you to remain with me, you know that don’t you?” he said finally and stopped pacing to look down at her. He stuck one hand on his hip and pulled at his braids with the other.

“I… I think so,” Nell replied quietly. “Have you changed your mind?” the words nearly tore her apart, but she had to know.

“Bloody hell, no!” Jack shook his head violently sending his beads swinging once more. Nell looked at him in surprise. “I’d never change my mind about that,” he said slowly. “But you might.”

“What?” Nell was slightly relieved by his vehement declaration but still un-nerved by his behaviour.

“Beaumont told me about your past,” he said quietly. “I had no intentions of telling you this so soon but Norrington, the bastard, has forced my hand. You don’t need to know any of this whilst the island still clouds your eyes.”

“Tell me what?” Nell found the words choked her.

“Nell…” Jack took a deep breath and crossed to stand opposite her. “In the monastery De Mornay was shooting his mouth off. I realised he was talking about your parents so I sent everyone on and forced Beaumont to tell me about your past, your parents.” He stopped to draw a breath, one hand was circling at the wrist and his other hand rested on his hip, his fingers tapping a sharp rhythm. “Your mother was called Elspeth De Mornay and she eloped to marry your father. He was called George Wearing and he was a Lieutenant in the Navy. Good man by all accounts, but your maternal grandfather disinherited your mother… not the man he’d chosen for her or something like that.” Jack waved a hand at details he thought superfluous to the discussion.

“They sailed to Port Royal and were happy enough, according to Beaumont. Wearing, I mean your father, was progressing exceptionally well and was almost certainly headed for Commodore, not that…” Jack bit back a snarky comment on being Commodore, knowing that she didn’t need anymore than the facts at the moment. “Beaumont and De Mornay, your mother’s brother, were out here by this time and having a fine time pirating on the quiet. Except your father became suspicious, he had enough evidence to have them both hanged. Beaumont and De Mornay… stopped it.” He waited seeing the moment it dawned on her what he meant.

“They… they killed them?” asked Nell shock clearly showing in her face. “But… they told me… an accident…”

“No, Nell, Beaumont killed your father and De Mornay killed…”

“My mother?” she blinked at him. “He killed his own sister?” Horror was clear in her voice and he reached out to touch her but she stood up suddenly, stepping away from him to pace the floor, one hand over her mouth, one arm wrapped around her waist.

“So it was not an accident…”

“No.” Jack got up and went to sit on the edge of the bunk. “But there’s more Nell,” he waited till she had stopped to look at him. “You had,” He wiggled his fingers in dismissal “No, have, a brother.”

“Had? Have?”

“I have it on good account that you have a brother and that he is still alive and living in Port Royal.” Jack winced against the raw emotion in her face.

“I have a brother?” she blinked and shook her head. “No, I can’t have. I’d have remembered him.”

Jack shrugged, unable to give her any reasons as to why she couldn’t remember him.

“Older or younger?” she asked Jack suddenly, and it was a million miles away from the questions he thought she’d ask.

“Beaumont said older,” he stated quietly. “They murdered your parents and set fire to the house, they thought your brother died in the fire, but it seems he didn’t.” He stopped, knowing there was no way he could soften his next words to her. “De Mornay had already taken you from the house, told you that your parents had died in an accident. Being younger and female were more controllable I suppose, they had it all planned. They never had any plans of marrying you off, your future was panned the moment they killed your parents.”

Nell was shaking with emotions she couldn’t name. She couldn’t remember any of what he was saying, it was completely different to the memories she held. Denial screamed through her and she took it out on him.

“Why are you telling me?” she demanded. “I don’t want to know. Why are you telling me now?”

Jack shot to his feet, unprepared for her to whirl around and storm out of the cabin slamming the door behind her. He caught her at the end of the dark corridor, his hands gripping her upper arms as he turned her to face him.

“Don’t run out on me,” he slurred slightly. “At least not yet,” he mumbled as he drew her back into the cabin, shutting the door behind them and turning the key in the lock to make sure she wouldn’t bolt again. Jack leant back against the door, crossing his arms and propping one booted foot up against the door; he watched as she stood in the middle of the room, her thumb nail firmly between her teeth staring down at the boards beneath her bare feet. It seemed like ages before she spoke again and he was certain that a lot of thinking had gone on in that head of hers; he just had to wait until she was ready to tell him what she was thinking about.

“Are you sure he’s telling the truth?” she asked finally still not looking up.

“Aye,” he said quietly wishing he could say no. “Norrington confirmed it, although he says your brother is alive while Beaumont doesn’t know this.”

Nell lifted her head and looked at Jack wearily. “It makes no difference,” she said quietly.

“It does,” he replied reluctantly. “It makes a difference to what you want to do next.”

“I don’t want to see him,” she said quietly. “He may have been my brother, but he’s made no attempt to see me, no attempt to bring me home.”

“I don’t know, there could be all manner of reasons why not,” he said and mentally wondered why he wasn’t agreeing with her, pulling her into his arms and taking her to the bunk. “He may not know you’re alive… Nell, he might have been told you were killed, if he was burnt he may not be in any position to look for you.” He shrugged and reached into his coat drawing out a flask of rum. “I have no idea, Nell.” He took a pull from the flask his eyes not leaving her face.

“Why now, Jack?” she said and looked at him almost pleadingly. “Why did you tell me now? I thought it was all over, I thought I was…” she stopped.

Jack cursed softly and slid the flask back into his pocket. “I had to tell you, don’t you see that? I wasn’t planning on telling you quite this soon, true,” he cursed again, damning Norrington for forcing his hand. She hadn’t even had a decent night’s sleep since leaving the island, already she’d had a nightmare and now he was compounding her misery with this. He pushed himself away from the door and threw his hat onto the table.

“Sit down, Nell,” he said quietly as he shrugged out of his coat and waistcoat then took the hat from his head and placed it on top of the table. He looked up when she made no movement, she was watching him, but he could her thoughts were miles away. He sighed and crossed to her, taking her hands and leading her to the bunk, making her sit down on the edge.

“I’m so tired, Jack,” she whispered, not resisting when he pushed her backwards onto the bunk and watched satisfied when she moved to curl on her side facing him; her back was pressed against the bulkhead, giving him just enough room to squeeze on as well.

“I know you are,” he said quietly and undid the buckles and straps till he could put his pistol and his sword on the table with his hat. Jack reached down and drew a dagger from his boot and leaned forwards and slid it under the pillow before sitting on the bunk and taking his boots off, before lying back on the bunk, resting one arm above his head and one hand on his chest, looking up at the low wood above them. “Do you want the lantern lit or out?” he asked her quietly.

“Lit,” she replied and he reached over to lower it to a low flicker that only gave enough light to cast a pale glow. He put his arm above his head again and lifted his hand to draw her against him.

She settled naturally into him, her head on his chest, and one hand on his stomach, while he curled his arm around her, his hand resting on her hip. “Go to sleep, Nell,” he whispered. “Things always seem worse at night.”

Jack lay there, listening to her breathing, feeling her warmth and her softness and cursed Norrington once again, although he knew it wasn’t Norrington that was at fault; the fault lay with the bastards in the brig. He was going to enjoy watching them take their last breath. Jack sighed, wondering if his timing had been wrong, maybe he could have avoided telling her one more night, but then it occurred to him that putting it off wasn’t dealing with it, but he also knew she didn’t need this now; she didn’t need anymore emotional mess to deal with and he’d handed her a whole plateful to deal with; he’d let her down.

Nell’s breathing evened out and he knew she was asleep; he sighed, closed his eyes and let himself drift to sleep, his grip on her possessive.

><><><><><><><><><

Nell knew they were there again, watching her, but this time they had faces. Not the faces she’d seen on the island; this time it was Beaumont and De Mornay who were standing at the bottom of the bunk in monks robes. They were laughing at her, telling her how stupid she was, that all she was good for was to be used. She listened, crying bitterly, as they taunted her with how they’d killed her parents, how her father had begged for mercy for his wife and how they’d merely laughed.

“Nell, ssh!” Jack was shaking her gently as she cried, weeping into his chest as she slept, her body racked with sobs as she dreamed. His touch broke through her tortured visions and she woke with a start, her face wet with tears and her body still shaking.

“I’m sorry,” she sobbed and tried to pull away from him, but he held her tightly against him.

“You don’t have to be sorry, Nell,” Jack whispered into her hair; he’d woken hearing her sobs and it had torn at him. He stroked his hands over her back, trying to sooth her, feeling a margin of relief when her breathing evened out and she fell back to sleep again.

The next time Nell woke Jack was trying to ease himself away from her. She mumbled and gripped his shirt tightly in her hand. “Don’t go,” she muttered. “You’re too comfortable.”

He snorted with laughter. “Aye, well perhaps when I’m too old to raid and pillage I’ll take up being a professional pillow.” He settled back slightly and peered down at the top of her head. “It’s almost dawn; I have to be up soon.”

“Later,” she sighed, content to snuggle into him and go back to sleep. But her brain was beginning to function past the sleep and she remembered what he’d told her last night.

“What’s he called?” she asked softly.

Jack didn’t need to ask who she meant. “Stephen Wearing.”

“Wearing? So my last name is Wearing, not Montilice?” she spoke quietly and calmly. Jack had been right; the sleep had taken the edges of shock from her and it no longer seemed monumentally frightening or overwhelming as it had last night. In fact, she found she was more curious than anything; after all, the knowledge she had brother didn’t change who she was now or what she had experienced up to this point.

“I would imagine Wearing would be your birth name, I don’t know where Montilice comes from. I expect we can find out if you want to know.” His voice was tight; he was finding it increasingly difficult to hold her so close, to be able to smell the cleanness of her hair and skin and not be able to touch her.

Nell flexed her fingers on his stomach and felt him jerk against her touch. “Sorry, did I hurt you?” She lifted her head and looked at him but even though she was innocent she knew it wasn’t pain reflected on his face. Something stirred deep inside her, making her want to reach out and kiss him. So she did; she lifted herself slightly and pressed her lips against his, her eyes open and looking directly into his. She saw his eyes widened and heard his breathing catch in his throat.

“Make love with me,” she whispered against his lips.

Jack’s heart sped up and his body reacted immediately to her touch and words but for once his head overruled his body. “Nell, I’m not sure it’s a good idea,” he could hear himself talking and mentally he kicked himself – why, oh why, was he saying that? Why wasn’t he stripping her of her clothes and kissing the hell out of her? But then he knew why; he loved her. Somewhere along the line, his own needs, feelings and gratification had taken a back place to her needs and feelings. She came first to him now and always would and he knew that Norrington was right. He would have to let her go if that was what she wanted; and until he knew what she wanted he couldn’t take advantage of her.

“Not a good idea? Why?” she asked him trying to hide the rejection she felt. It was what she wanted, what she’d wanted all along and she knew it was what he wanted; so why was he now backing off again. She drew back from him and crossed her arms protectively in front of her.

“You might regret it tomorrow,” he said carefully. “You have things to think about now, decisions to make about your brother.”

“Jack,” she lifted her head slightly and regarded him with an arched eyebrow. “I may have just discovered a brother, but how can I regret loving you? It’s not the same; it’s not linked in any way.” She drew a breath and let it out on a sigh. “Would you have made love to me if you hadn’t told me yet?”

“No,” he replied. “Nell, you have to think things through. You have a brother you never knew about, you have to decide whether you want to meet him. You might realise that where he is, is where you want to be. You’re young, inexperienced. I can’t let you do something that will influence the way you live your whole life. I can’t ruin you if you decide to stay in Port Royal.”

Nell sat up and stared down at him. “Jack Sparrow, you’re in your cups aren’t you?” she snorted at him and her reaction was the last thing he expected from her. He raised himself on his elbows and glared at her, affronted, but before he could say anything, she was poking him in the chest, her cheeks red with indignation. “You must be completely drunk to come up with that last lot of drivel. You’re a hypocrite! You accused me of taking away your right to decision on the island and now here you are, doing exactly the same thing with me! You think that because I’m younger than you that I don’t have my own mind? You think I don’t know what I really want, that I’m blinded by love? Or maybe that I don’t even know what love is - having nothing to compare my feelings for you to. I know that you are the most difficult, annoying, cantankerous, insane man I’ve ever met and you think I don’t know if I love you or not?” She lifted her chin and narrowed her eyes at him. “You insult me! It would appear that I now have a brother; whether I choose to meet this brother or not has no bearing on my feelings for you. I can’t change my feelings for you, just because a brother I don’t even share a name with, materialises. I have no intentions of staying at Port Royal or making a fine marriage if that’s what you were planning for me. I don’t want to be married, I don’t want to live with my brother, and I don’t want to be anywhere but with you. And I’ll thank you in future for not making my mind up for me and I’ll do you the same courtesy.” She deflated as the energy left her and she sat back on her heels, staring at his slightly shocked face; a small grin began to tug his lips, his eyes sparkled and she took it the wrong way.

“Don’t you laugh at me, Jack Sparrow!” she scrambled back away from him and all but fell off the bunk. She struggled to her feet and backed away from him, right into the bulkhead. He shot from the bunk and was in front of her in an instant, bracing his hands either side of her head, preventing her from moving away from him again.

“I’m not laughing at you, lass,” he grinned at her. “I just underestimated you,” he frowned slightly before his face cleared. “I seem to be doing that a lot lately.”

“Jack, please, just listen to me,” she stared up at him, her hands going to his chest. “There’s only one thing that has remained constant for me over the last couple of days and that was my feelings for you. I’m not sure how it happened, although I know I realised it when De Mornay was taking me across the bridge and Beaumont said that you were most probably dead, eaten by those fly things. I refused to believe it, but it hit me then… I’d be lost without you. That hasn’t changed just because we aren’t on that God-forsaken place any more. That’ll never change for me, even if you suddenly produced a whole horde of relatives.” She took a deep breath but Jack remained silent as he stared down at her. “You said that if you took me now you’d ruin me if I wanted a respectable marriage in Port Royal - Jack, you ruined me for any other man the moment you looked at me. I don’t want any other man, and if I can’t have you, if I can’t stay with you and love you, then I’ll love no one else.”

He stared down at her, his face expressionless but his eyes were glinting with an emotion she couldn’t name. She suddenly had a sinking feeling when something struck her. “Jack, would you rather I went to Port Royal? Is it an easy way out for you?”

“Do you not listen to me?” he asked his voice was low and slightly husky. “I don’t want you to go anywhere,” he said vehemently. “You’re mine, Nell, mine! You can meet this brother of yours, you can find out all you want to know, but you’re mine and you’ll stay with me. You sealed your fate the moment you told me you loved me,” he whispered and lowered his head to brush his lips over hers, as her hands curled on his shirt, her fingers clutching as sensations raced through her as his kiss deepened, his hands moved to cup her face; he angled her head slightly, gaining better access of her mouth, which she opened against his insistent tongue; her head spinning when his tongue stroked over hers. His hands left her face and stroked down over her shoulders as he lifted his head.

“For pity sake, Jack, please, ruin me!” she pleaded with him making him laugh wickedly.

“My pleasure,” he said lifting her and taking her easily back to the bunk.

A/N: Keep going… another chapter yet…