Exorcism

Though Jack had spoken barely above a whisper, his last words seemed to echo in the darkness before the heavy cloud of silence finally alighted on the ruins of Port Royal and its visitors. A light breeze had come up and Elizabeth allowed herself to give in to its comforting caress, letting it sweep through her hair and cool her heated cheeks. The moon had claimed its rightful place in the sky, almost at full circle now, and its round, childlike face seemed to watch the misfortunes of those on earth with overt curiosity. The fallen columns shone pearly white in the pale moonlight, a surreal vision in an enchanted garden where imagination and reality had just met in a particularly painful nightmare.

Elizabeth looked at the outline of Jack’s figure, still motionless in the shadows and suddenly felt overwhelmed by yearning and hatred. Oh how she wished she could believe him, could believe that he was indeed a good man, that they were together in this and that she was, after all, left with someone who understood her.

She longed to forgive and be forgiven, felt her soul needed some kind of exorcism to cast out the demons of the past - the fear, the hopelessness and the guilt - but she just couldn’t let Jack’s lies lead her into dangerous delusions again.
She had allowed herself to trust him far too many times now and it had never done her any good. He’d lured her to Port Royal with the most audacious bunch of lies one could even imagine, only to tell her another one of his stories, so enormous in its obvious falsehood she almost couldn’t believe he’d actually dared to go as far.

It was impossible to say what he hoped to achieve with this, maybe it didn’t even matter. Elizabeth had given up on the attempt to understand Jack Sparrow ages ago, but this time, she was completely lost for any kind of explanation, no matter how far-fetched or improbable. How could he even think she’d believe him to be the son of a governor when she knew he was nothing but a despicable pirate? They didn’t have anything in common, him and her, and to hope otherwise would be unbelievably foolish, experience had taught her as much. Still, he’d done it again, tricked her into trusting him until it couldn’t be overlooked anymore that it was nothing but a fraud.

She hated herself because she had been stupid enough to be taken in by Jack Sparrow, but hate was even too feeble a word for the rage she felt towards him. Leaving her place on the column, she took a few steps towards him, eyes fixed on his back and spat: “You … you’re the most miserable, disgusting creature I’ve ever met.”

Though she was sure he must’ve heard her, he didn’t turn round which only fuelled her anger. She strode over to his side and grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to face her. Their bodies were only inches apart and despite the darkness, she thought that he looked tired and exhausted, his features as motionless and resigned as she’d ever seen them. And for only the tiniest fraction of a second, she wondered whether this time, she was actually doing him wrong.

“So you don’t believe me,” he said, his voice almost blank.

“Of course I don’t!” And suddenly, all the frustration, the disappointment and the rage of the past few hours – no, the past few months! – welled up inside her and she couldn’t help but grab the chance to throw them into his face. “You lied to me in a most outrageous manner, you tricked me into coming to this awful place, you gave me hope when there has never been only the slightest chance I could finally get out of this –“ She gesticulated around wildly, yelling even louder. “And now you want me to believe a completely preposterous story which features you as some sort of prince in disguise, misunderstood from the day you were born? Then let me tell you something: I understand you, now I really do! You are a liar and a cheat and if … if I’d never met you, my life would not be such a mess!”

She glanced at him fiercely, convinced her words had stung him and indeed, when he moved forward, the moonlight revealed a face so hard and frenzied she instinctively backed away from him. But it was too late. With an almost cat-like movement, he darted at her and got hold of her arm, digging his fingers so deeply into her skin that she screamed from the sudden pain of it.

“Fine!” he shouted, dragging her with him despite the struggle she was putting up. “Let’s have another look at that mess of yours and then we’ll see how much you really understand …”

“Jack! Jack, please …” Elizabeth realized she was begging him but this was not the situation to worry about her dignity. She found herself at the mercy of a madman and though she tried to stay calm and think clearly, she couldn’t fight the rising panic when he forced her to climb over the columns and into the entrance hall. There was no one here to come to her rescue, their only company a man who was nothing but a ghost in the mind of a lunatic, and she screamed herself hoarse, hoping against hope that a miracle would happen.

And then, their feet stepped onto the dust-covered floor and suddenly, time stood still and the memories hidden beneath the moonlight-flooded marble tiles surfaced, surrounding them until they found themselves wrapped up in a blanket woven from a thousand different faces, a million words and an overwhelming feeling of loss. Elizabeth couldn’t move, not even when Jack’s grip around her arm loosened and the mad glitter in his eyes disappeared; still, she wasn’t afraid anymore.

The spell had been broken and she knew it instantly when she looked into his face, soft and melancholic against the invading night-sky, eyes wandering over the scenery as if trying to decide whether it was real or just his imagination. His lips moved quietly, forming words and sentences that could have equally been curse or prayer – maybe it didn’t even matter, for the only thing that mattered now was the hidden truth that had come to lie bare. It was in his eyes, in the expression he wore on his face and in the slight uneasiness that crept upon her; and suddenly, she felt like she needed to apologize to him.
Her eyes were still fixed on him when he turned to look at her and though she couldn’t stand his gaze, she found it impossible to turn away.

“ ‘m sorry,” she bubbled out, not quite realizing she was speaking at all.

And then burst out with laughter when she found they’d said the words almost simultaneously. Relief was washing over her like a cooling flush of water on a hot summer’s day and she just couldn’t stop laughing, knowing perfectly well she was being hysterical, but unable to do anything about it. Elizabeth was shaking so hard she had to reach for Jack’s shoulder to support herself and it wasn’t long until she felt him doing the same thing while they were both splitting their insides, finally relieving the strain and tension that had accompanied their relationship for so long now. It felt so good they hardly made any effort to calm down and when Elizabeth lowered her head to lean against Jack’s shoulder, she was gasping for air and clutching her sides, trying in vain to ease the stabbing pain.

“You’re alright?” he asked and straightening herself, Elizabeth stepped back to take a look down her still aching body.

“Well, I guess I am …,” she finally replied, still grinning, while she waved her arms in front of his face to show they were still attached to her body. It was a childish gesture, completely inappropriate, to be sure, but how else was she to face a life as absurd and unpredictable as this one?

Daft like Jack, she thought, remembering Gibbs’ words when she had suggested a particularly risky manoeuvre during their flight from the Royal Navy. Which, on second thought, wasn’t such a bad thing, after all.

“Did I hurt you?” he asked, brushing his thumb lightly over her bruised arm.

“Probably not more than I deserved … . I suppose I did hurt you as well.”

He blinked and bent his head, acknowledging her words before brushing them aside with a conciliatory smile that made her feel pleasantly warm inside.

“Come with me?” It was a deliberate, almost shy question and she was already reaching for his outstretched hand when he drew it back and let himself sink to the floor.

“Jack, what …,” Elizabeth began, somewhat irritated, but Jack was quick to allay her confusion.

“I hadn’t expected our little trip to last that long. Unfortunately, we can’t take the moonlight with us, so I suppose for further explorations, we need at least one candle, better two … or a candelabrum, whatever you can find underneath this … heap of rubble.”

“Me? And what are you going to do? Take a little nap?”

“Well, if you insist, I’ll go and look for the candles. In the meantime …” He began rummaging in the pockets of his coat and took out a little box which she remembered to have seen before. When they’d been marooned on the island, he had used it to … oh, well, she’d better go looking for the candles.

“ … you could make a little fire.” Grinning, he held out flint and steel to her, but she had already turned away to see what the earthquake had left of Governor Swann’s household effects.