Struggle For Control

Mort crawled beneath the covers, a smile still on
his face. He took off his glasses and
turned off the light, drifting to sleep a bit easier than usual.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> His thoughts didn’t invade his sleep…but a
vivid dream did…

“Alex…”
Suddenly he felt a heat enveloping his body; he also felt a warm body
beneath him. He opened his eyes and saw
Alex’s face. Her eyes were closed and
her head was tilted back. He felt her
nails dragging down his back.

“Faster,” Alex panted. “Please…uhn…yes…”

Mort’s hips pistoned at an unworldly rate.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> His heart was pounding against his chest,
sweat poured from his skin, and he felt himself reaching his release…style="mso-spacerun: yes">

His eyes jolted open. His heart was still racing, his breathing still ragged…and his
sheets – a mess. “Shit…”style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Haven’t done that since I hit puberty.

The voice inside his head, which Mort took to be
some form of his conscience, since it was his own, spoke up.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Had to wake you up somehow.

“I don’t want to be awake, I want to be asleep,”
Mort said aloud to himself.

I’m very aware of this, but we need to talk.

“I don’t like talking to you.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Makes me feel like I’m cracking up.”

You already cracked up, remember?

“Not when I can help it.”

You can thank me for that, I do my best to
keep him away from you.

“He’s still here?”

The voice sounded pitying. You know he is.

“Why are we talking?” Mort asked, yawning.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> “I haven’t talked to myself in quite a
while.”

Well, then there must be a good reason.

“Yeah, but what?”

Not what, Mort, who.

Mort looked around the room as if he could ignore
his own voice. “What are you talking
about?”

You can’t keep secrets from me – you can’t
keep them from him either. I know you
heard some of what he said to you.

“Fragments…”

You like her.

“Am I not supposed to?”

Do you think you deserve a relationship?

Mort’s voice sounded pained when he answered.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> “I’ve been alone for so long…she likes me
too and…”

You’ve killed.

“He killed!
It wasn’t me!” Mort pulled his
legs up to his chest and rocked himself.
“It wasn’t me!”

Calm down, don’t let yourself get upset.

“I don’t want to think about what you told me!style="mso-spacerun: yes"> If I have no memory of it, why do I have to
believe that I did it?”

I protected you from it – and I brought you
back. I fought him off for you, so you
have no choice but to listen to me.

Mort sniffled.
“Fine.”

The police never did their job the right way,
and for that, you’re a free man. Don’t
make me regret not turning you in.

“Shooter said…he said he’d turn himself in and…”

Let’s leave that mess behind, all right?style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Mort nodded. Let’s think about something: What happens if things don’t
work out with her?

“Then they don’t work. We’re not married, it’s not like she’s Am…”

Don’t think about her.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> She doesn’t matter.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> What if you fall in love with this woman,
hm? What if you want to marry her?

“I only just met her,” Mort saidisteistently.

And the physical attraction alone was enough
to bring on this conversation.

“Being attracted to someone is suddenly something
bad?”

Haven’t you thought about the fact that you haven’t
so much as asked a woman out to coffee since your marriage…dissipated?style="mso-spacerun: yes">

Mort shrugged.
“Hasn’t been anyone I wanted to ask – it’s not like I wasn’t looking.”

Why the sudden change?style="mso-spacerun: yes"> Things are fine this way.

“They are not fine!”

Nobody’s getting hurt…

“I’m getting hurt!”
Mort got up from his bed, ignoring the mess that was made.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> “I need some sort of human contact that’s
more then a passing wave! Being alone…I
don’t want it taking its toll on me.”

That’s just what we need to worry about.

“What?”

Things taking their toll on you.style="mso-spacerun: yes"> I’ll tell you what – we’ll see how things go
on Sunday, but if he sneaks his way in, you have to call it off.

Mort sighed.
“Fine. Can I sleep now?”

Clean up first.