The Thin Line

In regards to Mara dishonesty, if you take a close look at the first chapter you see that she thought Luke had knew already because of their Force bond, but once it became apparent that he didn't she decided to try to "fake it" because she thought he would be too disgusted to be with her had he knew. Not exactly rational or the wisest of choices, but Mara rarely panics and when she does she tends to do it up right.


Chapter 5



It had been over four months since Luke and Mara had married. By all outward appearances, they looked like a typical and normal newlywed couple. They stood that much closer to each other without thinking about it. They found themselves lost in each other’s eyes all too often and had to be snapped back to reality. There was plenty of holding and kissing.



Everyone assumed the normalcy of the relationship spread to the bedroom. The couple responded to the joking and Han’s innuendos as if they had a healthy sex life. Luke would blush and Mara would glare. Han would chuckle and Leia admonish. They ran into Lando once and he made a comment about how Luke managed to get in a matter of days what he tried getting for years.



Yes, the new hobby of all their friends was teasing the newlyweds, especially about their intimate relations with each other.



Mara had looked into two more therapists she hadn’t tried before, but they were about as helpful as the last ones had been. They thought her problems were purely psychological, but hadn’t a clue as to how to work past the blockage that kept her from enjoying sex. Well, they had ideas, but none seemed right. Mara knew that she couldn’t just talk herself out of this.



Luke had suggested maybe erasing the memories using the Force, but Mara nixed that idea. The psychological damage had been done. She would still hate sex, she just wouldn't know why. They tried mediating on the subject, thinking the Force might provide them with an answer, but that failed as well.



The couple fell into a comfortable pattern at night. They would kiss and hold each other, Luke always reigning in his desires even though his wanting was very evident through his sleep pants. Mara had offered herself to him a few more times, but Luke always steadfastly refused. She even offered him oral sex once, trying to hide the dark shivers of disgust that ran down her spine at the thought, but she couldn’t keep her true feelings hidden from him, and he refused that as well.



As the weeks passed, they found themselves buried in work with the Jedi, the New Republic, and Karrde’s organization. That work left them tired and it was becoming all too easy to just collapse into bed at night with nothing more then a quick kiss and hug goodnight. It was easy and comfortable for Mara, and she enjoyed it.



That didn’t stop them this night though. It had been a particularly productive day and Luke had been in a very good mood. They had gone to bed but didn’t actually go to sleep until two hours later. Heavy kissing and petting had been the order of the night, but as always, it didn’t go anywhere.



Mara lay snuggled up against Luke’s side, one arm draped across his chest. There was a subtle movement and her eyes fluttered half-open. She was about to doze back off when something caught her eye.



He couldn’t be, could he?



Tearing her eyes away from the sight, she looked up at her husband. His eyes were gently closed, his lips barely parted. This was a familiar image; it was what he looked like when he was fast asleep.



So he’s doing this in his sleep?



A tiny whimper escaped his lips and Mara turned back to what he was doing. During the night, the bed sheets had ridden down, exposing his finely toned chest down to his navel. He always wore sleep pants, even though Mara got the idea he was one of those men who preferred to sleep in the nude, possibly because of his upbringing in the desert where even the nights could be sweltering hot. He wore them now for her, to make sure she wasn’t uncomfortable.



He does so much for me, gives up so much for me, endures so much for me and I have reduced him to this?



Mara fought back the tears as she watched the bed sheets move, the result of his hand slowly moving underneath. The strong and noble Jedi Master had been reduced to masturbating in his sleep because he couldn’t even take advantage of his willing wife. Yes, she was willing to endure the pain and disgust so that he could take what was rightfully his, but he was too virtuous and self-sacrificing for his own damn good.



She rubbed her hand against her body, warming it so that she wouldn’t shock him. Slowly she snaked her way under the sheets and his pants. Fighting back a small wave of disgust from memories of a lifetime ago, she took hold of him gently. He started to stir, but she sent him soothing and sleepy thoughts through the Force. He wouldn’t let her do this for him if he was awake.



Her fingers played with him all too skillfully. Mara had learned all the spots that pleasured a man, and her husband was no exception. Dipping down she caressed his sac. She did something right because another whimper escaped his lips, this one louder. Still keeping him asleep, she worked him over, feeling him build and tighten. It wasn’t long until the fondling and stroking caused him to erupt in climax.



Luke moaned and wrapped his arm around her. For a moment, Mara thought she had been caught. His eyes gently fluttered and he fell back into sleep.



Slowly, Mara pulled her hand from under his pants where his organ was now softening. In the low light she could see the creamy substance of his release as it slowly dribbled down the back of her hand. Her body shuddered.



Have to get it off! her mind screamed at her. Nothing disgusted Mara more than the result of man’s fulfilled pleasures. Too many memories – horrid memories.



Trying to keep her emotions in check so she wouldn’t wake Luke, she pulled herself from his hold. Almost in a blind panic, she stumbled into the refresher. Forgoing the sink she hit the controls of the real-water shower and stepped in, still wearing her nightclothes. As the water raced over her, she began to scrub away at her hand with a cleaning solution.



This is what she did every time she came back from an encounter. She’d stand in the shower and scrub her body clean, but it was never enough. Even after all these years, she still felt sticky and dirty.



“How can he touch me?” Mara whispered as she stared at her warped reflection in the shower wall tiles.



He loves you, her inner voice said mockingly.



Mara collapsed back against the wall, sliding down to the floor. She wrapped her arms around her knees and dipped her head. Never had she felt so ashamed of herself.



He deserves to feel the warm folds of a woman, to find his release there. Mara looked at her hand, still red from her turbulent scrubbing. Not here, and not while asleep.



Time passed, the shower automatically turning itself off after a standard hour of use. Mara still sat drenched in the corner. Several ideas played in her head. She even considered getting Luke a prostitute in order to fulfill his needs.



Mara laughed at the thought. Luke would never have a lady of the night, even if he was a single man. It was against his nature to do such things.



But not against mine. She would do whatever it took to rid herself of this final last laugh of her former master.



An idea formed in Mara’s head. It was very simple, very basic. Why hadn’t she considered it before?



Because before there was never a man that you wanted to have you, it was always men who wanted you.



Is there a difference?



I think you know the answer.



Do I?



Her plan would have to wait. Luke would be leaving in two days to go visit his Academy, and Mara had already planned on staying behind on Coruscant. That would be the perfect time to do what she had to do.



Mara pulled off her wet clothes and threw them in the hamper. Toweling off her body, she slipped back into the bedroom. Thankfully, Luke was still fast asleep. She found another set of nightclothes very similar to the ones she'd been wearing before. Hopefully, he wouldn’t wake in the night and notice.



As she snuggled back up against him, Luke once again wrapped his arm lovingly around her. Mara almost cried.