Nightmares Wasting
folder
G through L › Jarhead
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
Views:
2,183
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Category:
G through L › Jarhead
Rating:
Adult +
Chapters:
6
Views:
2,183
Reviews:
3
Recommended:
0
Currently Reading:
0
Disclaimer:
I do not own Jarhead, nor any of the characters from it. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.
Unbalanced
Title: Nightmares Wasting 4/?
Rating: PG-13 borderline-launguage, angsting, sex filled thoughts
Disclaimer: Not true! Don't sue!
“So you weren’t even gonna tell me, eh?” Swoff couldn’t hide the betrayal and frustration from his voice and fuck that, why bother? Fucking Troy. Fucking bastard going to get kicked out and not telling him.
“What’re you talking about?” Troy continued to feign ignorance.
Swoff’s eyes grew wide and he flapped his ears with his fingertips like Dumbo. His arms fell back to his sides like lead and he just stared until Troy knew that he knew.
“Why don’t you just shut the fuck up and mind your own business?” Troy huffed.
Swoff felt his stomach drop out at the flippant remark. Troy was shutting him the fuck out and it hurt worse then he expected. He nodded curtly like it didn’t matter and gave a sarcastic ‘thumbs up’ sign before stalking off. Fucking fuck him.
He started angrily digging his sleeping hole even though it was already mostly done. There had been something in Troy’s eyes that had made him queasy, a mean sort of victory at seeing Swoff feeling so betrayed. It seemed always that way with them. Swofford’s unconscious need to keep score between them fucking things up again. Troy just made him feel so unbalanced sometimes.
Unbalanced. His face flushed at the memory of them tangled up and panting in the dark sand. He wasn’t even seeing the dirt seeping in from the sides of his sleeping hole anymore. The way Troy’s breath had been so hot against his skin. His fingernails burning a trail across his body. He’d shivered under the touch. So tired of being alone, just wanting to feel someone warm and close. So fucking alone.
There were almost-tears prickling at the back of Swofford’s eyelids. He gritted his teeth in anger and squeezed his eyes shut in concentration until the feeling passed.
They hadn’t talked about it afterwards. There hadn’t really been any time. Time was all they’d had before but now the shit was coming down, the war was finally fucking advancing. Troy had been by his side the whole time but much quieter then usual. There wasn’t that solid comfort between the two of them anymore. Their interactions were uneven and there seemed to be something vital missing. Swofford had never met anyone like Troy. The guy spoke louder when he didn’t say anything then when he did. Jesus, everything had to turn to shit all at once didn’t it?
Swofford remembered the lips pressed against his ear and Troy’s heavy weight against him. He almost regretted turning away from his friend’s mouth. Would it have been better if he had let him kiss him? Would Troy still hate him now? He had no idea but he knew he couldn’t have handled it, that offered bit of tenderness, not from Troy, not from anyone. He still ached for Kristina.
Kristina.
Kristina’s soft body folded against him. In his mind’s eye he saw her tilt her head back and stare up at him. “He’s just a friend Tony!” Her voice defensive and guilty all at the same time.
The queasy feeling came back full force and he had to swallow back the taste of puke in his mouth. Fuck.
------
“You take requests bugle boy? Fucker’s like his own jukebox!”
“Fuck the jukebox why don’t you play my bugle Swoffie?”
“Yeah, yeah you wish jizzbag.” Swofford ducked his head and snorted a fake laugh at the ribbing.
It had been a couple weeks since he’d been humiliated into playing ‘Reveille’ with his mouth instead of the expected bugle. The guys defiantly weren’t ready to let him live it down yet and still teased him for it nearly every chance they got.
It wasn’t all bad though he liked learning to be a sniper and he was fucking good at it. He’d lost his ‘fresh meat’ appeal and gained a bit of respect among some of the other marines because of it. There was still more training to go through and seven more guys to be cut but it was pretty clear Swofford was in the higher end of things. That was a total fucking surprise.
Troy had been a surprise too. Swoff had thought the guy was a complete asshole at first, their initial meeting still not sitting well with him. He wasn’t really the grudge holding type though and a mutual respect seemed to grow between them. Eventually that respect turned into long conversations about cars, politics, war tactics and whatever else either of them could come up with.
They ended up working well together and they had too. It was an added bonus that they actually wound up getting along as well.
Rating: PG-13 borderline-launguage, angsting, sex filled thoughts
Disclaimer: Not true! Don't sue!
“So you weren’t even gonna tell me, eh?” Swoff couldn’t hide the betrayal and frustration from his voice and fuck that, why bother? Fucking Troy. Fucking bastard going to get kicked out and not telling him.
“What’re you talking about?” Troy continued to feign ignorance.
Swoff’s eyes grew wide and he flapped his ears with his fingertips like Dumbo. His arms fell back to his sides like lead and he just stared until Troy knew that he knew.
“Why don’t you just shut the fuck up and mind your own business?” Troy huffed.
Swoff felt his stomach drop out at the flippant remark. Troy was shutting him the fuck out and it hurt worse then he expected. He nodded curtly like it didn’t matter and gave a sarcastic ‘thumbs up’ sign before stalking off. Fucking fuck him.
He started angrily digging his sleeping hole even though it was already mostly done. There had been something in Troy’s eyes that had made him queasy, a mean sort of victory at seeing Swoff feeling so betrayed. It seemed always that way with them. Swofford’s unconscious need to keep score between them fucking things up again. Troy just made him feel so unbalanced sometimes.
Unbalanced. His face flushed at the memory of them tangled up and panting in the dark sand. He wasn’t even seeing the dirt seeping in from the sides of his sleeping hole anymore. The way Troy’s breath had been so hot against his skin. His fingernails burning a trail across his body. He’d shivered under the touch. So tired of being alone, just wanting to feel someone warm and close. So fucking alone.
There were almost-tears prickling at the back of Swofford’s eyelids. He gritted his teeth in anger and squeezed his eyes shut in concentration until the feeling passed.
They hadn’t talked about it afterwards. There hadn’t really been any time. Time was all they’d had before but now the shit was coming down, the war was finally fucking advancing. Troy had been by his side the whole time but much quieter then usual. There wasn’t that solid comfort between the two of them anymore. Their interactions were uneven and there seemed to be something vital missing. Swofford had never met anyone like Troy. The guy spoke louder when he didn’t say anything then when he did. Jesus, everything had to turn to shit all at once didn’t it?
Swofford remembered the lips pressed against his ear and Troy’s heavy weight against him. He almost regretted turning away from his friend’s mouth. Would it have been better if he had let him kiss him? Would Troy still hate him now? He had no idea but he knew he couldn’t have handled it, that offered bit of tenderness, not from Troy, not from anyone. He still ached for Kristina.
Kristina.
Kristina’s soft body folded against him. In his mind’s eye he saw her tilt her head back and stare up at him. “He’s just a friend Tony!” Her voice defensive and guilty all at the same time.
The queasy feeling came back full force and he had to swallow back the taste of puke in his mouth. Fuck.
------
“You take requests bugle boy? Fucker’s like his own jukebox!”
“Fuck the jukebox why don’t you play my bugle Swoffie?”
“Yeah, yeah you wish jizzbag.” Swofford ducked his head and snorted a fake laugh at the ribbing.
It had been a couple weeks since he’d been humiliated into playing ‘Reveille’ with his mouth instead of the expected bugle. The guys defiantly weren’t ready to let him live it down yet and still teased him for it nearly every chance they got.
It wasn’t all bad though he liked learning to be a sniper and he was fucking good at it. He’d lost his ‘fresh meat’ appeal and gained a bit of respect among some of the other marines because of it. There was still more training to go through and seven more guys to be cut but it was pretty clear Swofford was in the higher end of things. That was a total fucking surprise.
Troy had been a surprise too. Swoff had thought the guy was a complete asshole at first, their initial meeting still not sitting well with him. He wasn’t really the grudge holding type though and a mutual respect seemed to grow between them. Eventually that respect turned into long conversations about cars, politics, war tactics and whatever else either of them could come up with.
They ended up working well together and they had too. It was an added bonus that they actually wound up getting along as well.