Sherry's Story

Who the hell are you to judge?

Disclaimer: I don’t own any rights to the movie or the graphic novels and this story has nothing to do with the plotlines of either. It’s just how I imagine Marv’s parents’ history would have happened.

lll

As soon as Ben and I walked into his place, he took my purse and began rummaging through it. He’d told me that he was going to take my drugs away and he meant it.

“All this crap, all this junk that you’re on is going right down the toilet,” Ben said as he scooped up all of the orange pill bottles.

I protested when I saw him heading to the bathroom. “Hey! Where are you going with those? They’re mine!”

I realized that anger would not get me anywhere so I tried another tactic—turning him on. I learned how to make a man think with his dick rather than his brain. It was almost too easy but as every woman knows, men do most of their thinking with their dicks anyway.

I slid my hands around his waist. I felt him stiffen under my touch. My fingers touched his belt until I had reached the buckle. As I moved my hands lower, his body twitched.

“Sherry, what are you doing?” Ben asked, his voice low and hoarse. Instead of replying, I put the toilet lid down and told him to sit on it. He obeyed instantly, forgetting why he had come into the bathroom in the first place.

“I’m going to give you a massage. It’ll make you feel better, I promise,” I purred. “But it will work better if I take off your shirt.” I leaned down to unbutton it as I had done to a hundred men before him. I stood directly in front of him, standing so close that my chest was almost touching his face. As I expected, Ben’s attention was fixated on how much cleavage he saw. When his shirt was off, I started massaging his shoulders. “You’ve needed one of these for a long time, haven’t you? You are so tense.”

“Oh God, yes,” he moaned, closing his eyes.

I worked and massaged his flesh and knew he was enjoying every moment of it. “No, this won’t work,” I said, abruptly stopping what I was doing.

“Why did you stop? What’s wrong?”

“I need you to be lying down to do this right. Let’s go into the living room where you can stretch out and I can work my magic, okay? But before I do that, let me get these off your hands for a while,” I murmured, taking the pill bottles away from him. “You can take care of those later.” He didn’t resist, letting me do as I wanted.

He readily agreed and got up to do as I asked. I snatched up a bottle and stuck it in my bra, thanking God that I hadn't removed the cotton batting yet. It would muffle the sound of the pills as they rattled.

Ben stretched out face down on the sofa. My hands began to massage his shoulders and as I expected, he groaned as his muscles relaxed.

“You seem tired; how have you been sleeping?” I asked.

“Not too good. A little to the left. Down a bit. Yeah, that’s the spot. Right there.”

Using all the skill I possessed, I began to slowly massage away the knot of tense muscles that I found just about everywhere I touched. Once his shoulders were done, I moved down his back.

“This feels so good; I might just fall asleep.”

“I don’t mind. If you feel tired, then go ahead and sleep. You need a good rest, I think.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Ben murmured.

The only thing on my mind was getting Ben so relaxed and tired so that all he wanted to do was sleep and I could go into the bathroom and rescue my pills before he flushed away the rest. I paid good money to Momma for those pills and I’d do my damndest to save what I could. I needed them.

Suddenly Ben turned over onto his back and wrapped his arms around me so that I was lying on top of him. “What are you doing?” I asked. “I’m not done giving you a massage yet.”

“To hell with the rest of my back, it’s my front that needs attention,” he said.

I looked down and was horrified to see that he’d sprouted a huge hard-on. I wanted to make him relaxed, not horny! Christ, how was I going to get out of this?

I felt Ben’s hands caress my breasts. This was definitely not part of my plan but I didn’t know how to stop it. I knew that I had to get his hands away from my bra or else he’d find the bottle of pills.

“No, no, Ben,” I said coyly and I pushed his hands away from my blouse. “You need your rest. Why don’t you have a nap and we can do this later?”

“I don’t want it later, I want it now,” Ben growled, his fingers intent on undoing the buttons of my blouse.

“No!” I shrieked and jerked away.

“Why not?” Ben asked, raising himself on his elbows and he had the bottle of painkillers in his hand. Somehow he had managed to snatch the pills without my knowing it. “Were you hoping I wouldn’t notice these?”

“I can explain…”

“I don’t want to hear it.” He got to his feet and his voice was so cold, it sent shivers down my spine and not the good kind, either. “Nice try with the massage. It was a good idea but you should think twice about fooling a man who has lived in the world a little longer than you have. I’ve seen it all.”

He went directly to the bathroom. I ran after Ben and got inside before he could lock the door behind him. I made a grab for the pill bottle but he only held it above his head and out of my reach. I tried ducking under his arm but he anticipated my moves and blocked me. With his free hand, he held me off while the other removed the lids and poured them into the toilet.

“Goddamn you! Why are you doing this to me?”

“I’m doing it because I love you, Sherry. If I didn’t care about you, it would be different.” He pushed the flipper down and I watched the pills disappear. “I’m sorry, kid, but I can’t stand by and let you kill yourself.”

“You son of a bitch! Do you have any idea, any fucking idea at all how much it hurts me to have sex sometimes? You don’t know the meaning of pain, you’re only a man. Before I was given those pills, I couldn’t sit down sometimes because my cunt or ass hurt so much! I’d lie awake for hours, sometimes only getting two or three hours of sleep! GODDAMN YOU!” I flew at him, scratching and clawing at any exposed skin I could reach. When I was too tired to fight any more, I slumped to the floor and started sobbing.

“You think I don’t know how much you hurt sometimes? Well, you’re wrong because I do. Sable told me everything. She’s told me all the times she’s heard you crying at night. If there was another way, don't you think I’d jump at it to spare you?”

When I didn’t reply, Ben picked me up in his arms and carried me to his bed. I was so exhausted that I only remained awake long enough to feel the covers being pulled over me before I fell asleep.

lll

It was 3:30 a.m. when I woke up. I lay in bed for a long time, just listening to the silence of the night, trying to figure out a way to beat Ben at his own game. Why didn’t I think of it before? I’d make sure he was asleep and then sneak out! It was so simple; I had to bury my face in the covers so the sound of my giggles was muffled.

I sat up in bed, waiting and listening for any noise but the only thing I heard was my heart pounding in my ears. I swung my feet to the floor and waited ten long minutes before I dared to stand up. Once I did that, I waited again. My first instinct was to hurry and get out as soon as I could but I knew that would be stupid. If I was in a hurry, I’d get careless and make a noise and that would fuck everything right up.

If Ben was still awake and caught me out of bed, I would tell him I had to go to the bathroom. It was a plausible excuse and one that he certainly wouldn’t question. In that case, I’d go back to bed like a good little girl and try again later. He couldn’t watch me like a hawk every second of the day, could he? Sooner or later, his guard would slip and I would take advantage of it the first chance I could.

Thankfully I was still dressed so I didn’t have fumble around in the dark for my clothes and run the risk of making any sound which might arouse Ben’s suspicions. I tiptoed to the door and opened it, standing in the doorway and listening. My heart sunk when I saw one small lamp was on and the TV set was turned on low. I was about to go back to bed and give up trying to escape, when I heard the sound of Ben’s steady, deep snoring. He was asleep!

I decided not to look for my shoes or my purse; hunting for them would only cost me valuable time and time was something I didn’t have a lot of. I didn’t have a dime to my name but I wasn’t worried about how I was going to get home: this wouldn’t be the first time I paid for a taxi ride by giving the driver a quick blowjob or fuck in the back seat. Besides, most of the owners of every major cab company in Sin City knew me by now anyway. If worse came to worse, I could always walk. I’d done it before.

All that lay between me and freedom was the door. I put my hand on the door knob and twisted, hoping against hope that the door wouldn’t creak as it opened…

“Going somewhere?” Ben’s deep voice asked from the sofa. He stood up and came toward me. Instinctively I shrank away, thinking that he was going to punish me for attempting to escape but he didn’t. He stood in front of me and waited for me to answer.

“I was looking for the bathroom,” I said.

“Bathroom’s back there,” Ben said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder. “I guess you got turned around and forgot where it was, huh?”

As Ben came closer to me, I gasped. Ben looked awful. The scratches I’d given him were more evident now. I hadn’t realized until now that some of them were deep enough to draw blood.

Ben saw my reaction and chuckled wryly. “One or two more scratches won’t make much of a difference to my ugly mug.”

“You can’t keep me a prisoner here!”

“No, I can’t. I can’t make you do anything you don’t want to.” He walked past me and opened the door. “If this is what you want, then go.”

“You mean that?”

“Yup. But let me tell you something: if you go back, you will be sold to the highest bidder. Probably to some creep that likes to hit women. Or maybe to some guy who loves fucking little girls and wants you to play dress-up. If you stay here with me, I won’t do any of those things to you and you know it. I’ll leave you alone. But let me make one thing clear: I told you that I’m gonna get you clean and free from drugs and I mean to do it. It’s going to be hell. I’ve been through withdrawal myself so I know what I’m talking about.” He took my hands in his. “But you won’t have to go through it alone. I’ll be here every step of the way. I’ll hold your hand. I’ll give you a hug if you need it. Whaddaya say, Sherry?”

“Why are you doing this? No one gives a damn about me. All I am is a fairly pretty girl with a good set of tits. If the price is right, any man can fuck me. Why do you care?”

“You think you’re only fairly pretty? No, you’re more than that. Much more.”

“You really think I’m pretty?”

“Hell, kid, I’ve seen some women in magazines that don’t look as gorgeous as you are now even on their best day! And the way you fill out those tight sweaters is a turn-on to every man over twelve and under ninety! Every time I’m near you, I want to throw you on the bed and…Well, never mind that now. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I care what happens to you because I--I love you.”

My mouth dropped open and I couldn’t speak. For the first time in a long time, I felt happiness rush through my body. Then, just as quickly, disappointment took its place. I was a whore and whores like me don’t deserve to be loved. I was Momma’s meal ticket until the next innocent young girl came along and took my place.

For his own reasons, he felt the misguided need to save me. Ben didn’t love me—he only felt sorry for me. It was only a matter of time before he’d ask me to repay him for his kindness by sharing his bed. A good fuck on my part in exchange for a few good deeds on his—it was a fair exchange.

Until I looked at Ben’s face and saw it turn red with anger, I did not realize that I had spoken the words out loud.

“I don’t wanna ever hear those words out of your mouth again, do you hear?” Ben raised his hand and for the first and only time, he hit me. I stumbled back and landed butt-first on the floor.

Ben knelt down and took me by the shoulders and shook me so hard I thought my head would detach from my body. “Do you really think that little of me; that I’m only being nice to you so that I can fuck you? Goddamn it, girl, when are you going to get it through your thick skull that I love you?”

Ben grabbed me by the shoulders. His grip was like iron and he was squeezing so hard I was beginning to lose feeling in my arms.

“You’re hurting me!”

“Aw Christ, kid, I’m sorry! I’ll never…I promise!”

Without warning, I heard him emit big gulping gasps and his body shook. He held his head in his hands. He was crying. No force on earth could have stopped me as I held him in my arms and comforted him. He had done the same service to me when I needed it and I was returning the favour. I ran my hands down his head and around his shoulders as his face nuzzled my breasts.

When he got control of himself again, he drew away and looked into my eyes. I wiped his tears away and it wasn’t until he did the same thing to me that I realized I’d been crying too.

Where he slapped me burned and he touched the area with his fingertips before brushing my skin with his lips. It stung a little and I tried not to flinch but he felt my body quiver under his touch.

“I swear to you, Sherry, I will never raise my hand to you again.”

“I’d like to believe you, Ben, I really would, but you see, a long time ago my father told me about men who hit their wives. They’d swear up and down that they would never do it again but when my dad was on duty, he would only have to hear the address of the disturbance to know that the man had broken his word.”

“I know. I know.” Ben said. “But I mean it.”

“So did they. Until the next time they got mad. Then the cycle of beatings and apologies would start all over again.”

Ben said nothing. There was a strange stillness about him that told me that I wasn’t the first woman he’d smacked around. I didn’t want to ask but I had to know. “You’ve hit a woman before, haven’t you?” It wasn’t a question.

He hung his head and stared at his hands. “Yes.”

“Because she made you angry or because you were told to?”

“Sherry, I—”

“Tell me!

“I won’t tell you! I can’t!”

In that second, I knew the truth. “Oh my God, you’ve killed women, haven’t you?”

When he came to my room at Momma’s, he’d told me he killed people. At the time, I automatically assumed they were all men, but the stricken look on his face now told me otherwise.

“How could you?”

The horrible idea that he had done to another woman the same things I had been subjected to at the Roarke estate was revealed without him saying a word.

Visions of women being held down and violated by Ben flashed before my eyes. With his superior size and strength, they’d had no chance against him. Once down on the ground or on a bed, they were at his mercy. And he was big enough so that if he wasn’t careful, he would a woman apart if she wasn’t wet enough.

“Sherry, please, you have to understand! I’m not that same man anymore! I’ve changed!” Ben watched as I jerked away from his touch.

“When was the last time you raped a woman? Tell me!”

“Years ago. She owed the Senator a lot of money. She said she couldn’t pay; she needed more time. Roarke was running out of patience and decided to make an example of her. There were one or two others who couldn’t or wouldn’t pay for one reason or another. I was told to take her to Roarke’s bedroom where they were waiting. Roarke told me to do whatever was necessary to make the others see reason. I beat her up but Roarke said it wasn’t enough. He needed something more graphic. He told me to rape her as hard and brutally as I could and I did. Roarke made them stay and watch. He told them that if they didn’t pay up, I’d do the same to their wives and daughters.”

“And?”

“I was told I’d get a big bonus if I did a good job. Roarke got all his money later that same day and I got mine. He kept his word.” Ben said the last words as a whisper. I couldn’t help but notice that Ben wouldn’t look me in the eyes.

I shuddered. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be raped by Ben, especially as a punishment and in front of other people.

“I hated to do it. I was only following orders!”

“Liar! You could have refused! No one held a gun to your head and demanded that you get an erection or they’d pull the trigger. You raped her because you wanted to. You got off on it. You enjoyed it. You make me sick! You are just like Roarke and his sons, you know that? You’re as evil and twisted as they are!”

“Don’t say that.”

“Why not? It’s the truth, isn’t it?”

“I’m not like them!”

“No? If they want someone killed, you did it, not them. If they want to make an example of someone, especially a woman, you raped her, not them.”

“I’m sorry for what I did, okay?”

“Did you have an orgasm?”

“What?”

“When you were raping her, did you come?”

“Yes.”

“Then you enjoyed brutalizing her. You enjoyed hearing her scream and cry and you were turned on by it. A woman’s fear in a sexual situation is an aphrodisiac and pigs like you get aroused by it. Fear is power.”

Ben tilted his head and looked at me strangely. I smiled in my most sarcastic manner. “I’ve fucked a few shrinks, so I know a thing or two about human nature. So what happened to this woman?”

“I saw her once in the street about a month later. I wanted to talk to her and see how she was doing, but as soon as she saw me, she ran. I found out later that she killed herself.”

“What was her name?”

“I don’t know.”

“What did she look like?”

“It was a long time ago. I don’t really remember.”

“Of course not. To you, she never had a name or a face but she was someone’s girlfriend, daughter or sister. You ever hear the old saying about a woman being nothing but the life support system for a cunt? That’s all she was to you and that’s why you don’t remember anything about her except that she was good to take your frustrations out on.”

I was so dizzy and nauseous; I could hardly stand on my feet. I felt my knees give out and I slumped back to the floor. Tears streamed from my eyes. I could understand completely why she ran from him. She thought he was coming after her again and rather than go through another assault, her only option was to take her own life. She did it because she feared another repeat performance. Looking at Ben, I certainly couldn’t blame her for being afraid of him.

The idea that I’d almost fallen for this fiend that got pleasure from hurting another woman made my stomach churn. Ben reached out to me but I shrank away. “Don’t touch me! Don’t you ever touch me again!”

“You don’t mean that!”

“You are damn right I do! Tell me something: when I was at the mansion, were you on the sidelines, giving pointers on the most painful way to rape a woman?”

“No! I would never--!”

“You’re a monster and you are capable of anything! God, I hate you!”

“You don’t mean that…Don’t say that! I love you, Sherry!”

I pointed to my stinging, swollen cheek. “I don’t want to think what you’d do if you hated me. Make a fist and see if it’ll fit inside of my cunt like Roarke did?”

“I’m sorry!” Ben’s despair made me freeze in my tracks for a moment. I wanted to forgive him. I wanted to throw myself into his arms but I couldn’t. He was responsible for the death of an innocent woman whose only crime had been being desperate for money but too poor to pay it back.

“Saying sorry won’t change the past. Saying sorry won’t bring that woman back. You’re a monster and that’s all there is to it. I’m leaving and I’m never coming back.” I got to my feet and forced myself to walk away before my determination to leave was gone.

Ben took my arm. “Sherry, listen to me. I’ve tried to forget what I did and get on with my life, but I can’t. Sometimes I can still her screams in my head at night. That’s why I need you. Knowing you has helped me become a better person.”

“Good for you,” I stated coldly. “As punishment for your actions, you don’t deserve to have another good night’s sleep for as long as you live.”

“You may not believe it, but I have suffered for what I’ve done.”

“Oh, please. Don’t insult my intelligence by saying you’ve suffered. You don’t know the meaning of the word suffering. That woman did and thanks to my stepfather, I do, too. I’m glad you’re miserable. Goodbye, Ben.”

“Where are you going?”

“As far away as I can get from you.”

“NO!”

I heard a lifetime of suppressed anguish in that one word. I glanced over my shoulder for a moment and I saw Ben fall to his knees, tears streaming down his face as he begged me not to go. I knew that if I hesitated for even one second, I would give in; I would turn around and go back to him and that was something that mustn’t happen, no matter what.

I ran from the building and continued until I couldn’t run anymore. I braced myself against a doorway until I could catch my breath. I hadn't had a chance to grab my shoes before I left and my feet were killing me. I slumped to the sidewalk, too weak to stand.

I started to cry. As I brought my hand up to wipe my eyes, I felt the weight of the vial of cocaine in my sleeve. I looked at it against the streetlight and saw that it was half full. Remembering how much Richard had given me, I estimated that there were three doses left. If I took it all, it would probably kill me but at that moment, I didn’t care. I had nothing to live for.

Carefully, I poured it on the back of my hand and snorted it before repeating the process three more times until there was no more left. As before, the rush hit me hard and fast. All I could do now was try to find a dark corner and hope no one found me before the drugs took my life.

There was an alley nearby and I crawled there since I was too stoned to stand. There was broken glass all over the place. My hands and knees were cut to pieces. I was bleeding a lot but I ignored the blood and the pain, focusing all my strength to keep going until I reached the end. I gathered some dirty cardboard boxes that were lying around and pulled them over me so that if anyone came this way and saw the pile, they would just think it was just trash and go on their way.

Once I was done, I lay on the ground and waited to die. My last thought before the darkness came was that Roarke had been right: I was nothing but garbage.