The Thin Line

Chapter 6



Mara Jade strode purposefully down one of the more questionable streets on Coruscant. She had walked the streets for the past three nights, searching. Finally she came across what she was looking for. Hopefully she would gain the answers she so desperately sought.



Despite the fact that she had temp-dyed her hair and eyebrows a rich golden brown and used facial putty to morph her features, she kept the hood of her cloak pulled down. It was doubtful anyone would recognize her, but she couldn’t be too careful. It wouldn’t do for the wife of the Jedi Master to be seen in such a place.



Several of them stood outside the building showing their wares. The building owners encouraged this for it gained them plenty of business. What they were doing wasn’t exactly legal, but the security force didn’t mind. Half of them were customers anyway, or were friends with someone who was.



Four female humans stood together chatting, though their attention was on those passing by, any one a potential customer. Without breaking her step, Mara approached them and with one slim gesture of her hand chose her purchase. The woman nodded and quickly excused herself from the group.



Without a word, Mara turned on her heels and headed inside the building. A surprisingly well-groomed man sat behind the reception desk and eyed her up carefully. Mara flicked some unmarked credits, a throw-back to her days before Luke, on the countertop. He gave them a once over then passed over a datacard marked with the number 213.



“Five hours is all you get,” the man stated, seemingly convinced that Mara was an old-pro at this. First rule of deception, act like you belong and others will believe.



A slight nod of her head, then Mara walked away towards the turbolift. Punching for the second floor, she still made no eye contact with her purchase who followed dutifully behind. Had that not been what Mara always done? Dutifully walked into each man’s bed for whatever reason Palpatine gave her? Dutifully tried to walk into Luke’s because she was his wife?



The doors slid open and it was a short stride to the room. Inserting the datacard into the panel, she was granted entry. The room itself was tastefully done in deep blues and crimsons, echoing the time of the Empire, but sensual in their way. A large bed covered in shimmersilk sheets dominated, while a sitting area hung off to the side. No dressers or closets, for everyone only stayed long enough to get things done.



Finally, Mara slid back the hood of her cloak and turned to the woman. She was perhaps the same age as Mara, though a bit younger, mid-thirties maybe. About average in height and build, she had a rich mane of black hair and creamy tanned skin. Her silver dress accented her shape and left just enough to the imagination.



The woman raised one dark eyebrow, then shrugged, “Well, I’m game.”



Mara let out a slight laugh and gestured towards the seating area. “Believe it or not, but I did not purchase you for your obvious wares.”



“Oh?” the woman said through silver colored lips as she made her way over to an armless chair and sat.



“I just want to talk,” Mara said as she took a seat across from her.



The woman smirked, “I’ve been asked to do stranger things.”



“That I do not doubt,” Mara replied.



Silver crossed her legs and turned serious. “I’ll still have to charge you my full fee.”



“Fair enough,” Mara reached into her pocket and pulled out some more credit chips and tossed them at the woman who caught them effortlessly. “That cover it?”



“For now.” Silver slid them into her bag. “So, what did you want to talk about?”



Mara judged the woman for a moment, wondering how she should approach this. She finally settled on being blunt, she was good at that. “How does your husband feel about what you do?”



Any mirth left the woman’s face and she stared at Mara with a blaze in her eyes, “Who are you?”



“Don’t worry,” Mara held up a hand, “I am not interested in you, I simply need answers for a personal problem and I want to make sure you can help me.”



“Help you?” the woman laughed.



Mara kept her tone calm, normal, unaffected. “Yes, is that so strange?”



“All things considered,” she shrugged, “no, not really. So what’s this about a personal problem?”



Mara smiled to herself. She knew that she would have to be forthcoming to gain the woman’s trust and was prepared. “I fell in love with a man, and our relationship has turned serious, yet we have not had sex.”



The woman blinked. “What? He some moral do-gooder?”



“In a way,” Mara smiled outwardly now, but then sobered. “I was… sexually abused by my father as a child, and the act of sex completely disgusts me. I actually haven’t been with a man in well over a decade.”



“Let me guess,” Silver crossed her arms in thought, “he knows this and won’t have sex with you because he doesn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”



“Smart woman,” Mara was pleased, she thought she would have to spell it all out.



“Oh, I’ve seen all types before,” she shrugged. “You’d be surprised how many men and women become prostitutes because they were sexually abused as children.”



Mara picked up something in her tone, “And what type am I?”



“I could be wrong,” Silver relaxed in her chair, “but just from what you said I could guess that you offered yourself to him and he refused since he’s so nice.”



“Should I be asking who you are now?” Mara grinned.



“Just a woman who’s been out there too long,” Silver pointed out the window towards the street below. “Sex disgusts you, you say, but you fell in love. Love and sex are not a packaged deal.”



“A person can have sex without love.”



“And a person can love without sex.”



What a curious woman her purchase had turned out to be. “He loves me, so he will not have sex with me. He doesn’t want to hurt me.”



“But yet you offer to him something that will cause you pain,” she pointed out.



“We’re both still young, fit, and prime. He deserves to have sex, to find his release in passion.”



“Why?”



Mara blinked, this being the last response she thought she’d get. “What do you mean, why?”



“Why is it so important to you that he have sex even though he’s obviously decided to give it up for you?”



“He shouldn’t have to give it up!” Mara raised her voice without realizing it.



Silver shrugged, “You gave it up.”



“That was different!”



Silver shook her head. “The only difference is he gave up sex for love, you gave it up for hate.”



Mara’s mouth moved to say something, but was at a loss.



“Listen,” she continued, “there is a thin line between love and hate, love and lust, love and sex, love and obsession, hell, love and anything really. It’s a very complicated emotion.”



“Tell me about it,” Mara mumbled and the woman chuckled slightly. Then Mara sighed, “So I should just drop it then since he’s made his choice?”



“No, I think you should ask yourself why you’re obsessed with it.”



“I’m not obsessed,” Mara defended.



“You’re talking to a prostitute about your sex life or lack thereof,” she laughed, “I call that lingering on the obsessed side.”



“I…” Mara fought for words. “I just want him to have everything he’s entitled to.”



“Entitled to?” Silver rubbed her chin. “That’s an odd way to put it.”



“No it’s not. I’m his… going to be his wife,” Mara stumbled, trying to maintain something of a cover even though she was having a rough time thinking straight. This woman had already gotten farther with her then any therapist ever did. “Wives have sex with their husbands.”



“Yes, they do, but not because the man is ‘entitled’ to it.”



Mara tilted her head, confused. “But, they are the husband…”



The woman shook her head. “Men pay me to sleep with them, they hand over their credits and so they are entitled to their purchase, it’s a contract. Husbands marry wives for all sorts of reasons, but when it’s for love, the only thing the man is entitled to is the same thing the woman is.”



“And what is that?”



“The other person’s love in return.”



Mara looked down and away, considering the woman’s words. Finally she mumbled, “A thin line between love and sex.”



“Your father that abused you,” the woman prodded, “did he use duty and loyalty to have sex with you?”



“We never had sex,” Mara replied quietly, “but he did use those things to get me to sleep with his friends.”



“Then there is part of your problem, you look at sex as one would look at a job, when it’s supposed to be pleasure.”



“It’s your job,” Mara retorted.



“Yes, it is, but not when I go home at night to my husband. With him, it’s all pleasure.” Silver gave a wicked grin.



“How can you distance him from all the men you sleep with?”



“Because I love my husband,” she smiled, “and we make love, not have sex.”



“It can’t be that simple.”



“For me, it is.” The woman leaned forward slightly and said, “You want to give your husband sex because you feel he’s entitled to it, but what you should be wanting is to make love to your husband because you both want to share that passion.”



Mara shook her head. “Sex holds no passion for me.”



“Because you never cared for the men you slept with.”



“I tried to give myself to my husband, and I love him, it didn’t work!” Mara bit out angry words.



Silver didn’t seemed fazed at all by her outburst. “Did you try to take?”



Mara blinked. “Take?”



“Love, marriage, friendship, anything like that is about giving and taking, creating a balance. You only wanted to give and expected your husband to only take.”



Force, Mara hadn’t even realized that she had screwed over her cover story of not being married. Oh well, the woman had no reason to believe she was Mara Jade. The woman was also making too much sense, and yet none at all.



“How can I take something that disgusts me?” Mara questioned quietly.



Silver chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. “Now, be truthful with me, but in all those encounters, did you orgasm? And I mean a mind blowing, make you want to pass out, heart racing orgasm?”



Mara thought back, and while her body had been stimulated when men touched certain sensitive areas, it only served to make her slick enough for entry. Some men didn’t even wait that long and she had come out of the experience bleeding and in pain. Unless the man was making her do something physically taxing, she never became breathless just from the act. She certainly wouldn’t call anything she did ‘mind-blowing’.



“No, I don’t think so.”



“All you know is the pain of really bad sex, trust me, I’ve had it myself,” she groaned. “What you need to learn is the pleasure of great sex.”



“Great sex…” Mara repeated, rolling this over in her mind.



“Yes, have yourself a mind-blowing orgasm with your husband and you’ll see what I mean,” she winked.



Never had any of her therapists suggested actually having sex, they all thought she had to work through other deeper psychological issues first. Maybe having sex, no, making love, was how she supposed to work past those issues. “It’s as simple as that?”



“Pretty much, though I suppose I could be wrong. Either way you don’t have anything to lose.”



Mara didn’t have anything to lose either, yet. “Two problems. One, I get disgusted by the act, and two, he won’t sleep with me anyway.”



“Easy solution,” she grinned. “You’ve been giving for so long, why don’t you take for once.”



“Excuse me?”



“You know how when a piece of metal gets bent out of place, you have to push it into the other extreme before it will fall back into line?”



“Yes.”



“Start pushing.”