Silk

Silk – Chapter 6

He smiled as he waited for Cotton to bring supper, taking new pleasure in the thought of having Elizabeth at his table. In more ways than one, he grinned. He had the mad urge to go through their remaining stores, to inspire Cotton to actually come up with something resembling an honest meal, something fit for... Get ahold of yourself, Jack, he told himself sternly. Besides, he didn't need to impress her. She seemed to like him just fine. And wasn't that a bloody marvel?

He went about tidying up instruments and maps off the table, whistling... until he remembered Will. The boy would likely be waiting for supper as the opportune time to have a word with Lizzie about their situation. No. Will needed to be on watch. Now. Or hanging off the side of the ship. Or something. But, came the rapid thoughts, if he's on watch now then he couldn't be later. In the night. And if he was on watch later, he wouldn't be on now, which meant he'd be ready to have supper with them now which might prove disastrous for later... And Jack wanted no distractions, wanted Elizabeth with him. The rest of the night. All night. Every night thereafter.

Now, for the first time, he wondered just what Will had thought of Elizabeth's absence last night. He'd certainly been watching her all day, glowering at her; he must have some suspicions. It had been late when she'd come to Jack's cabin, she must have been skulking around somewhere for hours after she'd left Will. But the 'Pearl was only so big... Had Will stopped to wonder where his wayward fiancee was? What was the boy thinking? Had he figured it out? Elizabeth would have to say something to him sooner than later. Well, then. It was time to implement new rules for the rest of the voyage. Yes. Will was going to be doing the late watches. Or counting stars. Or something. He'd be kept busy, at any rate.

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She was on her way to Jack's cabin when she heard someone call her name, softly. Will. He came up beside her, and she looked away from him and his suspiscious eyes. "Elizabeth. Where... were you last night? After you left, I..."

"Sleeping in the rigging," she said tersely, "Why should you care after what happened?"

He stared at her. "Elizabeth, I love you. You know that. I just couldn't. You're still a lady, despite..."

"I wanted you. You didn't want me back."

"No. You shouldn't have. I let it go too far and..."

She gritted her teeth at his stupidity, at his naive honour, "I. Wanted. You. Remember? My hands were on you...?"

He involuntarily closed his eyes, shuddering at the memory, "Stop it."

"No," she continued, "You were more than willing to take, but not to give, isn't that the way of it?"

"Stop it,", he hissed again, "I wanted to spare you, I didn't want it to be like that before we were married."

She took a deep breath, and forced herself to look into his face, his sweet, handsome face. "Will. I'm sorry, I was wrong." She saw his look of hope, and ruthlessly forced herself to quench it, "I was wrong to think we could continue this way. Everything that has happened to us, everything has changed. We've both changed."

It suddenly dawned on him what she was trying to say, and it was killing him, "No. You've changed. Ever since Jack, ever since he and the 'Pearl were taken by the Kraken. Ever since you... You were so damned determined to get him back, and I didn't question you and..."

"And I never questioned you about Tia," she broke in, eyes hard. He froze and she read the truth in his eyes. Ah, so I was right. It didn't matter now, though, none of it. "I'm sorry, Will," she whispered, turning to continue towards Jack's cabin.

"Where are you going?" Will was following, his voice lashing out into the evening air.

"To have supper with Jack."

It was too much. "Did you go to him last night? Did you?" He had grabbed her arm, gripping it tightly enough to bruise, and she rounded on him, hand raised.

"Enough, Will! I'm sorry that this has happened, but enough. Let go." Her voice was low, dangerous. "Let go of me, and let go of this."

Inside the cabin, Jack heard their voices and steeled himself for what he knew was coming. Rather sooner than I'd expected, he groaned to himself, but no time like the present. His door was thrown open and Elizabeth burst inside, Will hot on her heels, "You aren't a bloody pirate, Elizabeth!"

"I'm the one who left Jack to die, remember?" she spat back, "I'm not exactly a proper lady, am I?"

Jack comfortably sat back in his chair to watch, eyes glittering as he glanced back and forth between the two.

"You aren't a pirate, Elizabeth. You aren't that kind of woman," Will was insisting, "It was done to save us!"

"Well, actually," Jack began.

"Shut up!" Will rounded on him for a moment, before turning back to Elizabeth. Jack merely cocked an eyebrow, trying very hard to be very good, for her sake.

"You don't know me," Elizabeth spat, "You have me on some impossibly high pedestal of who you've built me to be in your mind! Who you wanted me to be! You don't really know me or you never wanted to see it if you did!"

"Fair point there, love," Jack began and received the glare from his own lass this time.

"Shut up, Jack!"

Right, he thought, shutting up.

"And I suppose Jack knows you?" Will snarled at her, "I suppose he knows you oh-so-well seeing as how he has spent as much time with you as I have and known you as long and..."

"He seems to know me a damn sight better than you ever have!" she snapped, and Will suddenly flinched, looking as though he'd been kicked.

"Intimately," Jack added, helpfully.

There was a long, frozen moment where the three of them all stared at each other, swallowing what had been said. And then the moment broke.

"You bastard," Will hissed at Jack, "You did this to her. Seduced her."

"Maybe a little," Jack grinned, but the smile didn't reach his eyes. He was growing very tired of this, and very tired of being spoken to this way by a lad half his age.

"If there was seducing, it was done on both sides," Elizabeth said, softly, and Will's face paled. Jack couldn't help but grin at her, until Will continued.

"D'you love him, then? This filthy bastard pirate? Tell me you don't, please, Elizabeth..."

"Enough of that," Jack growled, and got up from his chair. I'll be damned if that boy calls me a bastard again.

"How many times has he lied to us, lied to you?" Will continued, naked pleading on his face, "He'll only use you, Elizabeth, use you and leave you like a..."

"That is outside of enough, William," Jack's hand had gone to his sword, and Will responded in kind, both of them stepping forward.

"Stop," Elizabeth's voice rang out, harsh and cold as she deliberately stepped between them. She turned to Will, to the man she once thought she might have loved, and ended it. "Will. Please believe me when I say that I have always been concerned for your happiness and I did very much care for you at one point. Please also believe that whether I go home and live with my father or end up God knows where that I would never marry you now." She felt miserable, seeing his face, and she tried to reach out to him, "Please believe that I am truly sorry. We are not for each other."

He stepped back and away from her, looking at her as if she were a snake, "And you two are for each other? You two are so perfectly matched?"

"Pirates," Jack said softly, gloating.

"I don't know," Elizabeth answered in the same moment, just as softly.

And Will had a brief moment of pleasure when he saw Jack's face fall at her response. He turned to him, "Perhaps it's you being used then? Used for your freedom and your precious Black Pearl? Perhaps she'll move on from you next, she's gone through two of us already..."

"One more word, boy, and I'll forget old friendships." Jack meant it sincerely. He was absolutely done with this and his control had reached the end of its limits. He turned to glance at Elizabeth, saw the silent tear that coursed down one cheek, and his throat tightened, his eyes giving him away.

Will saw it for sure this time. Jack really did truly care for her, every scrap of his usual insouciance was gone, every mask had crumbled away in that one moment that he looked at Elizabeth. And God, it hurt. "Friendship?" Will said softly, "You? Never." He turned to go, spoke over his shoulder, "I don't care where we are, I want you to put me off at the next port. I'll make my own way home to Port Royal." He paused. Drew. Fired. "Shall I send word to your father, Miss Swann?"

"Will," her voice cracked, pitying him even as she reeled from the cruelness in his voice. Horrible to see him this way, painful. But she couldn't regret ending it with him, couldn't regret setting herself free from the terrible burden of his love.

"Don't," he growled through gritted teeth. "Spare me your pity. Your father, however, will be crushed, of course."

"You mean as much as he was about her marrying an apprentice blacksmith?" Jack's lip curled. He wanted him gone, well and truly, and he wasn't above hurrying the lad on his way.

"Jack, stop," Elizabeth groaned, her voice breaking again, and he instantly regretted it.

"I'll drop you in Bridgetown in a day," Jack told Will. "I can likely get you a berth on..."

"I don't need your help. And I'll not sail with any more... fucking... pirates..."

Elizabeth winced and turned away. Jack continued, "Fair enough. Consider yourself a guest, then, instead of crew. In the meantime, in the next day, steer clear of me. I don't care what you do, drink, hide or rot. But steer clear."

"Is this where you tell me to stay away from your 'woman' as well?" Will sneered.

"Elizabeth can take care of herself and makes her own decisions," Jack replied, evenly. "Get out."

Will slowly left the cabin, pulling the door shut behind him. Jack looked over to see Elizabeth standing with her back to him, hunched over, shoulders shaking. He sat down at the table, taking a long drink, waiting for her to say something, anything. Please don't let her regret this. "I'm sorry, love," he told her, feeling awkward and anything but sorry, yet he thought she needed to hear it. "But, well, it's better to have gotten it all out into the open and we can move on and..."

"Don't you ever stop?" her voice was ragged, harsh, low in its intensity and he froze. "Don't you ever get tired of being everlastingly flip about everything?"

"Elizabeth," he wasn't sure what to say and the steel in her voice was unexpected.

"What have I done?" She turned suddenly, looking at him with wide eyes in a pale face, so unsure now, "Oh, God. What have I done? My father will be furious..."

"Ah," he said, breaking in, "So this is temporary. I'll drop you home, then." The ice in his voice now matched hers.

She swallowed, seeing his eyes darken and his face close up on itself, "Jack..."

"I know. Twice your age, a pirate and a scoundrel to boot. Don't worry about me, Lizzie, glad to have been of service," he tried to keep it light, but it was stinging like hell. No fool like an old fool, he thought. He couldn't, wouldn't look at her.

She swiftly leaned forward and put her hand over his, "Jack, it isn't like that. I'm just... I'm afraid." She took a deep breath and found herself babbling like a fool, "If I see my father he'll likely try to lock me up to keep me from leaving and yet I can't go without seeing him, he is my father and I've been so worried about Beckett and what he's done to him and I'd never be able to see him again after this or stay in Port Royal and..."

"Can't just go and tell him what you want, hey?" he sneered, angrily. He was unbelievably, infuriatingly hurt by her horror at the situation and he hated it, hated feeling out of control. He had gotten to his feet, needing to move, to do something.

"Jack," she whispered, another tear working its way down her face, "It isn't that easy, it isn't so simple." She came to him, tried to put her hands on his arms, to feel him under her touch and regain something of last night even as she was fighting not to run as hard and fast as she could.

He felt himself helplessly leaning into her for a kiss, wanting her, wanting to blot out the last fifteen minutes of their life, and then stopped himself. No, don't give in, you can't pay this price, you can't possibly cut yourself open any more than you already have.

He released her so suddenly, so forcefully that she stumbled backward, "It is that bloody easy, Elizabeth, you make a bloody choice!" He knew he was yelling, knew he shouldn't be, but it suddenly felt very good to make her shrink like that, to make her cringe, "You make a choice just like you did when you came in here last night and all but threw yourself at me." He stalked forward, taking perverse pleasure in the way she stumbled backwards and away from him, "Don't tell me now that you've relieved your little maidenhead itch that you're sorry."

She drew back, slapped him with every ounce of strength she had. They stared at each other for a moment, both breathing raggedly. "Ah," he said. A crooked, bitter smile spread across his face and he made a slight bow, "There's the door, Miss Swann. I'm sure you'll find your precious fiancee stalking around out there somewhere, and I'm sure he'll still take you back if you get on those pretty knees of yours and offer yourself." She drew back a second time and he caught her hand, "Don't... you... dare."

His eyes were completely black, completely, frighteningly blank and she realized just how far she had pushed him, just how much of a wretched mess she had made. Unbidden, the tears came hard and fast now, and she was suddenly blinded by them.

"Don't do that, either," she heard him say, scorn dripping from every word, "Bit late for that, lovey." She stepped away from him and headed for the door.

He watched her go, feeling the loss keenly. Fine. Leave, you... "I'll drop you both in Bridgetown, and you can both find your bloody way home. You can go back to your normal old life and never have to deal with nasty pirates again," he called, a parting shot.

She stopped, turning to look at him with those silent tears rolling down her face. He felt his throat closing up from the pain in her eyes, but couldn't help himself: a wounded animal always attacked, "Tell him and your father I raped you, if you like, if it makes it easier. Doubt they'll believe it."

Her breath hitched, and then she heard herself whisper, "You're no better than what Will said you were." And she turned, walking out, leaving the door open behind her.

He felt her words like a blow in his chest as he dropped down into his chair. How had it all gone wrong? Why couldn't he shut the hell up? And why couldn't she have the bloody gumption to take what she really wanted, when he could see it there in her eyes? He found himself opening a fresh bottle, drank a quarter of it in one go, and realized that there wasn't enough rum in the world to make him forget the last day.

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AU: Love to my NellieDances, the best, truest beta EVAH. Chapter 7 should be coming along soon and things will get a bit better... sort of...