Wood and Roses

The car window was rolled down, and Mer closed her eyes against the cold Detroit night air as it cooled her puffy red face. She had pulled her hair up off of her neck in a rarely seen messy bun that sat at the nape of her neck. The streetlights passed bye as they drove, casting a momentary orange glow over her features before fading away again. She wasn’t looking, completely oblivious as to where Bobby was taking her but unconcerned. She felt a sense of peace, a calm before the storm, and she was readying her emotional reserves for the epic battle that was about to take place.

It was going to be a fight with Jack to get him to hear her, to listen to everything that she had to say, but she was ready to fight tooth and nail. There were few things in life that Mercedes Stuart had ever chosen to fight for but she knew she had to and what else, she had to win. For her…for Jackie boy.

Angel sat silently in the back seat of the car, eyes staring blankly out the window. He had his hand poised steadily against his temple with his elbow leaning on the window for support…he was far away somewhere, Mercedes noted as she opened her eyes and stared at his reflection through the side view mirror. Probably back to a day much like this when the brothers had had to go looking for Jack in the same manner they were now- lead by Bobby, as always, knowing that true to form he was handling things, fixing things for the family.

The crunch of gravel under the tires alerted Mer to the fact that the car was slowing, they had pulled into a desolate looking playground somewhere on the other side of town. Mercedes had never been here before, never seen this place. The tire swing and rusted slide sat proudly in the middle of a once grassy lot, a sad reminder that Detroit had once been a place where children could play and laugh and grow up the way normal children did- but no more. Not for Mer…not for any of the Mercers. As Bobby threw the car in park, the jolt of the car brought Mercedes back to the present. Bobby shifted in his seat, staring pointedly at the run down park in front of them and then the door to Mercedes’ right.
“Alright…” She let out a low breathe and tried to steady her nerves. Her hand paused as she reached for the door handle. “Alright.”

“I’m going to take Ange to meet Jerry for a beer down the street, then we’ll come back for you. Don’t go running off anywhere, okay Mermaid?” He asked gently, though his voice left not room for argument. She nodded, more in encouragement to herself than in compliance to Bobby. Then the door was opened and she was standing in the cold night air, Jackie’s winter jacket hanging limply in her hand as she scanned the abandoned looking lot. As the car pulled out, it was momentarily lit up by Bobby’s headlights, and then he was gone again.

It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the darkness as she squinted out into the playground. She half expected Jackie to be hiding from her, refusing to come out and talk. When she saw the faint silhouette of bent knees against the moonlight, she breathed a sight of relief and walked towards the reclined figure on the pavement a few yards ahead. She winced at the sound of crunching snow and gravel beneath her feet and knew that he had been alerted to her presence.

Jack’s head turned around to see who it was approaching and he froze for a moment, like a deer in the headlights, stark still and contemplating flight. After a moment he simple pulled himself into a sitting position, his back to Mer, and stared up at the sky. Mercedes hugged her coat tighter to her and repressed the shiver that ran through her body, staring lamely down at her shoes as she came to a stop at Jack’s side.

“You mind if I-”

“Yeah.” His reply was terse and she winced, though he moved over slightly in a silent invitation to sit. Mercedes complied, sinking to her knees and holding his winter jacket out, a feeble peace offering. “Thanks.” His words were clipped and his tone was heartbreakingly clear- he didn’t want her here. But Mercedes had come ready for a fight, and unfortunately for Jack Mercer, this was one area in which she was infinitely like her surrogate older brother- there was no winning a fight with Mercedes Stuart. She stared out into the darkness, slowly reaching into her pocket for her pack of cigarettes and withdrew two, dropping one into Jack’s lap and placing the other between her dry wind-blown lips.

As Mercedes lit her smoke and inhaled deeply, she regarded Jack’s profile from the corner of her eye appraisingly and nodded as if in confirmation to herself. She knew that her outermost expression was one of cool collection, confidence even, but on the inside she was a wreck. Fortunately for her Bobby had instilled a show-no-fear attitude in her from a young age and she had all but perfected the technique. She needed to show no fear in front of Jack, because if she couldn’t feign confidence in them for the both of them, Jack sure as hell wouldn’t.

Without turning to look at him, she ran her tongue lazily over her lips and sighed. “So this is where you come to sulk huh?” He stiffened, bristled. Mercedes smiled inwardly. Whatever Jack had been expecting to come from her lips, it hadn’t been that. His voice was cold, laced with a controlled anger she knew all to well.

“Listen-”

“No, Jack Mercer, you listen.” She still hadn’t turned to look at him, knowing full well that the moment she made contact with those blue-grey orbs she’d loose what little courage she had left. Right now Mercedes need to fight hard enough for the both of them, because Jack was no longer going to try. “And when I say listen Jack, I mean hear me, don’t sit there and hear what you want to hear because I know full well that you and Bobby both have that same Mercer family selective hearing that used to drive me and Evie up the goddamn wall and down the other side.” Jack made a noise in the back of his throat, halfway between a chuckle and a grunt. He brought his cigarette to his own lips and without glancing at Mercedes, held out his hand for a lighter.

“I’m listening.” Whatever humor Mercedes had thought she’d heard in his voice was gone. Sighing and rolling her eyes, Mercedes handed him the lighter and shook her head. No…he wasn’t going to make this easy.

“Alright, Jack Mercer, you’re listening.” She sighed sarcastically. “You, above anybody else, know about pasts…you know for goddamn sure that they don’t make a person who they are. No matter what was done in the past, it’s their past for a reason Jack, not the goddamn present.” Mercedes paused to take a drag from her cigarette and allow Jack to make a retort if he so wished. He didn’t. She glanced sideways at him and his jaw was set in a firm scowl, reminding her distantly of a child being scolded, but knowing they deserved it. Still he refused to look at her. With a sigh, Mercedes continued.

“I never once passed judgment on you when you told me about where you came from, the things you’d done, the people you’d hurt. How dare you turn around and deny me that courtesy of doing the same. For Christ sake Jack…I was young and stupid and I did stupid fucking things- and I learned from them. I got myself out and still had the goddamn strength to do the same for my sister when she couldn’t do it herself. I shared the darkest part of my life with you today- scared out of my goddamn wits to do it. I’ve never been scared to tell you anything Jackie and I told myself I was a damn fool for being scared to tell you now- but maybe I was assuming too much. Maybe I assumed that because you knew what it was like to come from a shitty fucking place you’d show me at least a little understanding and compassion when I told you about where I came from.” Another pause, another drag…as the seconds of silence ticked bye she took another. Mercedes’ hands were shaking, the only outward sign of the terror she was feeling inside. Jack’s lack of response, or acknowledgement of her presence at all was absolutely terrifying. Please…her mind raced, silently begging for him to say something…anything. Please just look at me…when no response came she inhaled deeply, a slow rakish breath.

“For fuck sakes Jackie boy…what we have here, now…this…this is precious. The things I feel when I’m with you, I’m never going to feel those again as long as I live.” Mercedes paused, finally turning herself to face Jack. His eyes trained ahead of him, unmoving, uncaring. With a strangled cry out outrage Mercedes grabbed both sides of his face and turned him towards her, meeting his steely gaze with her own furious green eyes. “We’re never going to be here again and…and if we fall now, if we fall we’ll never get back up. Now, if you’re not going to fight for us, if you’re going to let your…your goddamn male pride and ego get in the way of the best goddamn thing that’s ever happened our sorry asses, you go right ahead…but I’ll be fighting it every step of the goddamn way.” Jack’s eyes softened, his mouth relaxed. Finally…Mercedes thought…he finally heard me. But just as quickly as the change came it had gone. Jack’s face once was once more cold, but this time there was anger behind his eyes.

“Get OFF of me!” He yelled, flinging her hands from him and rising angrily to his feet. Mercedes flinched as he towered over her, staring down in menace and anger…but the disgust was gone. This at least was a side of Jack she knew, she’d seen before. Yes…she smiled to herself…get angry. “What the fuck am I supposed to tell my friends, my family? Our fucking kids?! How did you and mommy meet daddy? Well mommy was a COKE WHORE and daddy was in a band…” Mercedes rose to her own two feet and though she stood a good four inches shorter than Jack, she looked just as intimidating.

“Would you just grow the fuck up and stop acting like a goddamn martyr?!” She shouted, her face inches away from his, green eyes aflame, hands balled up into fists as if ready for a fight. “I fucked up!” Mercedes paused then, holding her arms out at length as if she were the ring leader in a giant circus. “MERCEDES STUART FUCKED UP! I realize this is new for you Jackie boy, but I’m not fucking perfect. In fact, I’m not a fucking lot of things…but I am in love with you! And you love me too, asshole so get over it!” Mercedes had opened her mouth to release another tirade, but was cut short as headlights suddenly illuminated the entire playground. Two short honks of the horn alerted the two that it was indeed Bobby, come to pick them up. Mercedes gave Jack one last, withering glance before shaking her head in defeat and starting towards the car. When she didn’t head the footsteps behind her she sighed. “I can’t make you get in the goddamn car Jack…” She called tiredly over her shoulder. “But Ange and Bobby sure as hell can.”

As the passenger side door slammed behind her, Mercedes slammed the dashboard angrily with both fists. “Ugh!” Bobby regarded her out of the corner of his eyes, a lopsided grin gracing his features as a low chuckle escaped his lips.

“I’m glad to see you’re done all that crying bullshit…” He laughed, shoving her playfully into the door. Mercedes smiled ruefully, shaking her head and shoving him back.

“Shut it, dickhead.”

“So is the fairy comin’ or what?” He asked, leaning on the horn again. Mercedes looked up at Jack’s figure, illuminated by the headlights as he turned begrudgingly in the direction of the car.

“Yeah…” She nodded, a smile of relief washing over her features. “Yeah, he’s comin’.”