AFTER ALL

…DO YOU HAVE DINNER PLANS?...


He had been stalking through the halls towards the command center of the Legion ship, carrying an armful of papers he’d found stacked neatly atop his bed- he was nobody’s secretary, and he meant to accentuate that point by ‘neatly stacking’ the papers atop the nearest Adviser’s head. The deeply unpleasent sound stopped him in his tracks so effeciently, the top foot of papers flew several feet in front of him.

It was a sound Vaako hadn’t heard in many, many years. And when his stomach growled again, painfully loud, the only strange looks he got from the other people in the hallways were looks of sympathy. It had been just over a week since the Lord Marshal’s decree that all Purifying should be stopped. On his direct orders, even Quasi-Dead had been removed-It had earned the Lord Marshal quite a lot of disfavor. There had even been one violent assasination attempt- and all complaining stopped after the would-have-been assasin, and everybody else in the room, had seen the man’s internal organs all over the floor.

Already, Vaako was experiencing the disgusting bodily functions of humans- first he managed to burn himself by standing far too close to a decorative bowl of fire….and then of course, there was the Legion-wide demand that the heat in the ship be turned up, because it was bloody cold in space. And now, here he was, hungry- for the first time in at least twenty years.

Vaako silently cursed his Lord, not bothering to pick up the spilled papers- he took just a few steps, then took back his curse…as if the Lord Marshal could hear him. After all, every other Necromonger was experiencing the exact same things as he- and if he could not remain loyal to the Lord Marshal…then who would? He sighed and continued on his way to make a loud, grumpy point. Some terribly unlucky Adviser would be rather surprised to find that a person COULD get paper cuts on their face. And that they hurt quite a bit.

***

Much later in the day, Vaako finally wound up in his Lord Marshal’s rooms, ready to dutifully- exhaustedly- report the day’s events. Not that there had been, but routine was…comfortable. By this point in the day, Vaako had eaten and wrapped the few tiny wounds he had begun to notice kept appearing every time his Dame was angry with him. It had taken a few more hours before he realized they were, in fact, claw-marks.

He found Riddick lounging quietly, browsing through something undoubtedly fascinating on a hand held viewing screen. Jack was, mercifully, nowhere to be seen. And the Hellhounds were rapidly becoming used to his presence- only a few of them growled and reddened menacingly, this time. He ignored them, pushing past on his way to Riddick, who hadn’t yet looked up. Clearly, he didn’t care. That didn’t stop Vaako from his duties, though.

“My lord, I hope you are well today,” Truly, Vaako hated the bowing and scraping more than anything else in his day, “If I might have just a moment of your time, then you can go back to…whatever it is you were doing. Sir, I have the reports of the day and-“

“No. Give me just a sec, skinny.” Riddick mumbled, clearly quite absorbed in his data pad. Vaako was left standing, still half-bowed, mouth ajar. The surprise written plainly across his face was punctuated by another loud rumble from his stomach. It seemed that being interrupted was becoming a daily ritual for Vaako- not that he could complain too much. If ANYTHING was going to remove him from his duties as the Lord Marshal’s personal secretary…so much the better.

Finally, after it became clear that Vaako really was just going to have to wait until Riddick was finished, he straightened and leaned, ever so slightly, on the long table his Lord was seated at. When is seemed that the man didn’t mind, Vaako put more weight into his lean; It was also the first time in quite a while that he had felt truly exhausted. The table gave one tiny squeak- all Hellhounds looked up abruptly as if someone had shouted in the perfectly silent room- and Riddick cast a brief glance up at his Commander. One solid leg came off its perch at the edge of the table and disappeared under it, to shove the chair directly opposite out a few feet- an invitation to sit, albeit a rather rude one.

Vaako considered it a moment, then sighed and slumped into the chair, not taking his eyes off Riddick, who had gone back to ignoring the man. Their interactions often went this course; Vaako wondered if anything he said actually registered in his Lord Marshal’s brain. Across the room, a couple of smaller Hellhounds got into a noisy, ungainly scrap over a shredded piece of cloth. Riddick let it continue for a few seconds, until one of the beasts lost a scale a yelped, instantly turned a bright carmine red at the other- at which point Riddick sighed, put down his data pad, and went to break up the messy affair. When both creatures were properly admonished- as if they were particularly vicious, wicked children- He came back and FINALLY gave Vaako more than a cursory glance.

“I have a new job for you.” Vaako couldn’t tell if he was being stared at or not, but he straightened up at the news- there couldn’t be any jobs worse than this, after all. Riddick continued, seeing the slight interest. “I’m not stupid- I can see how pissed you people are about having to ditch the psycho psychics. Can’t imagine that’s made me too popular?”

He left it as a question on purpose, and, after a brief moment, Vaako shook his head in agreement. He was, somehow, still hungry. Even after dinner.

“Thought so.” Riddick leaned back and pushed his goggles up onto his forehead eying Vaako directly. “I need someone to…find the people who are the angriest at me. People who might be…disloyal. Who might be doing illegal things. People who think they might make a better Lord Marshal. Maybe there are even some people who’ve been Purifying against orders…I have a feeling we didn’t managed to get all the creepy little fuckers out of here.” He was, of course, talking about the Quasi-Dead. “I need to find anybody like that, got it? When you do, come to me with names, maybe descriptions. Anybody who might be a threat- excepting yourself.”

Vaako opened his mouth, about to say that he WASN’T a threat- but of course, that just wasn’t true. If Riddick ever became completely unfit to lead, Vaako would make sure that he was…replaced. It was the Necromonger way, and Riddick knew it. He leaned back in his chair a bit, once again analyzing his leader. So far, the man hadn’t followed any known convention of the Necromonger way. He had made enemies at every turn, and hadn’t given them a proper alternative. The only reason Vaako continued to have any shred of faith in the man’s leadership skills was because he knew that, behind that brutish exterior, Riddick was twice the man the previous Lord Marshal had been. Vaako might not know what his exact plans for the future were- but he knew he HAD them, which was more than could be said about a lot of Necromongers.

He met eye-to-eye with the powerful man across from him and nodded. “Yes, my lord. I think that’s wise. Now, do you have anyone in mind for the position-“ And, yet again, he was cut off.

“Cut the bullshit, Vaako. Let me make this clear to you. I’m not doing this because I’m afraid of being displaced, or of what people might think of my decision making, got it? They have no idea what’s in store.” He leaned forward suddenly, placing both elbows on the table and giving Vaako the most wry grin he’d ever seen out of the man. “Now, I’ll make you a deal. I know you fucking hate being my patsy, so you can have this job. And in return, you gotta stop the…constant patronizing and bowing and crap. I don’t like it.” As if suddenly aware of how unusual that sounded, coming from him, Riddick added on, “I don’t like being able to see your face and hands, all the time.”

Which was, of course, complete crap.

“Sir…” Vaako cleared his throat and carefully phrased it as directly as possible- ever one to obey commands, especially if they suited his needs just as well, “Sir, if you don’t care what people are doing and saying behind your back…then why give me the job of finding the disloyal ones? I mean, if…”

He trailed off as one of the two Hellhounds that had been fighting earlier wandered over and place its square head on Riddick’s lap, depositing a gift- the torn, unrecognizable piece of cloth it had clearly won. Riddick gave it a pat and accepted the ‘present’, holding it up for Vaako to see. It was, at first glance, just a chewed up, slobbery pair of pants. But when Riddick obligingly turned up the lights a bit, Vaako noticed a few key features that made him lean back just a bit. One, the pants were very clearly soldier issue, complete with an isignia that belonged to the Lensor class. Two, they were absolutely covered in dried blood.

“…Oh.” Vaako swallowed hard, and Riddick turned down the lights, tossing the chew toy back to the adolescent Hellhounds, who immediately went back to tearing it to pieces. He gave his Commander a pointed stare and, as if on cue, Vaako’s stomach gave one more tiny sound of hunger. “Oh…sir, that’s. Uh.”

“Disgusting, I know. Just do it.” Riddick finished for him with a smirk, settling his goggles back over his eyes. After a moment, Vaako nodded. He didn’t know why he was so readily agreeing to his new job- but anything was better than being the Lord Marshal’s personal secretary, after all. Now he was the chef.

***

He was almost surprised at his Lord’s efficiency. Just days after their meeting, and only hours after Vaako had reported one of the noble females who had fresh Purifying wounds, she had mysteriously vanished. No blood had been found in the half-hearted investigation. When he visited Riddick later in the evening, he had found his Lord’s mood vastly improved, along with a healthy color returning to his skin.

The same two Hellhounds were playing with a piece of lace, somehow managing to delicately pick it apart, thread by thread, with their impossibly sharp fangs. Riddick greeted him with rather smug smile, and Jack outright grinned.

“Sir….I think perhaps you should be more…discreet about what your hounds…play with.” Vaako gave a small nod to the large pile of lacey threads the Hellhounds had amassed,
“If anybody else were to come in here….well. I just don’t think it’s a good idea.” He cleared his throat and quickly squeezed his eyes shut as one of the massive beasts promptly threw up a finger onto the pile of lace.

Riddick glanced over his shoulder at the satisfied little pack of Hellhounds, each one of them with blood and bits of shredded cloth or meat dripping off the short spines on their faces. Personally, he found it rather endearing, as long as they stayed off his bed. But he did see Vaako’s point.

“Yea…probably a good idea. Hey!” He abruptly shouted at the pair of beasts who had been destroying the lacey garments- Vaako jumped a bit, and Jack giggled at him. He shot her a withering scowl. “Hey, you two. C’mere. Bring that crap with you. C’mon.”

Obediently, the two young Hellhounds slunk over, heads hung low, dragging their “kill” behind them- it was a spit and blood covered lacy undergarment. Riddick held out his head in front of them, and, reluctantly, they dropped the disgusting wad of shredded fabric into his open palm. Including the finger. Without so much as batting an eye, Riddick scowled and pocketed the horrible mess, to dispose of later. Still scowling, almost comically, he pointed back to the corner where the two had been playing. They slithered away, bellies almost touching the ground in ‘shame’.

Vaako almost gagged a little- his Lord had a finger sticking out of his goddamn pocket- but held it back long enough for a curt nod and a forced smile…before turning and rushing out of Riddick’s rooms.

And inside, Riddick turned and gave Jack a lopsided grin, which Jack returned by tossing a pillow at him.

“God, you’re disgusting! I think you gave that poor sucker a heart attack.” She was laughing, though.

***

Outside, Vaako choked back his dinner and pretended nothing at all was wrong.