Jack's Descent

A/N - I found it very interesting how some people viewed Rachel's rape as abominable, while others thought it was hot, haha. I was like "Eek, did I do something wrong?" It was supposed to be tragic, but I suppose that the Joker just makes everything sexy. Can't blame him for that! :-P But anywhos, I've got a little important message at the end explaining a few questions, so other than that, please enjoy! ;0)

CH 6: His Other Half

Rachel groaned as the afternoon sun disturbed her slumber, her eyes fluttering open in order to take in the bleary sight of a hospital room. Sterile white walls greeted her senses, as well as an equally sterile white cabinet filled with medical supplies. Feeling a slight pressure on her leg, she lowered her gaze and jumped when she saw a blonde sleeping across her thighs.

"Harvey?" she rasped, wincing when she heard the coarseness of her voice.

Groaning, Harvey slowly rose from her sheets and looked up at her with bleary eyes, his expression immediately turning soft as he breathed "Oh Rachel, thank God you're awake -- you had me worried stiff!" Now taking her small hand in his, he stroked her palm before asking, "How're you feeling? The doctor said that you were...um..."

"I'm fine" Rachel hurriedly cut in, her eyes now turning hard amidst her pain. "Is Craig alright? I remember him being an idiot and trying to save my life."

Harvey laughed weakly. "Yeah, he's just fine -- aside from his injured pride, the lucky bastard only got a broken nose from the scuffle. It's you who I'm really worried about."

"Well why?"

Harvey balked. "Why?" he reiterated, absolutely baffled, "Christ, Rachel, you were found raped, bleeding and unconscious, and you're asking me why I'm worried about you?"

"I'd really rather we didn't talk about this" Rachel warned. "Isn't it bad enough that I had to participate in this whole ordeal?"

"The police are going to want to question you" Harvey reminded her. "They need to be sure that the Joker wasn't the only one involved in your accident."

"This was no accident, Harvey -- that creep knew exactly what he was doing when he took me on the elevator and...and..." Grasping at her throat, she bitterly blinked back tears before bowing her head, her voice soft and hoarse as she choked out, "Please, I really don't want to talk about this right now, Harvey -- in fact, I don't think I'll ever want to talk about it, again. I'd rather just go back to work and pretend that this never happened, so if you could just convince the doctor to let me go, I could..."

"Rachel" Harvey delicately cut in, "your reproductive organs have suffered considerable damage, so you won't be leaving the hospital any time soon. I didn't want to tell you like this, but you've given me no choice."

Taking in a shuddering breath, Rachel swallowed before asking, "Well will I ever be able to have children?"

Harvey bit his lip. "It's a toss-up, but the doctors are surprisingly optimistic."

"Oh..." Feeling her features contort amidst her sorrow, Rachel heaved a sob before placing her face in her hands and weeping bitterly. Shoulders shaking, she found herself drawing away from Harvey when he touched her elbow, her voice tainted by pathos as she whimpered, "Please, Harvey -- I want to be alone."

"But Rachel, I..."

"Please."

Giving her a pained look, Harvey gently rubbed her arm before leaning in and pressing a kiss to her forehead, his tone soft and warm as he returned, "Alright, I'll go, but only if you let me come back later. I'm worried about you, Rachel, and even though I acted like a complete ass yesterday, I'm still very much in love and want to spend the rest of my life with you." Noting her warning look, he imploringly added, "Please, Rachel -- don't cast me aside."

"Just go" Rachel whispered, tears streaming down her cheeks as she leaned further back against her pillow. "Please, Harvey...leave me alone."

Lingering briefly at her bedside, Harvey swallowed sharply before turning and reluctantly granting her request. Rachel watched after him with hollow, tear-filled eyes, but it compared little to the hollowness within her heart. She'd most likely never be able to have children, so what good was she? Harvey may be acting affectionate now, but she knew deep-down that all respectable men wanted nothing more than to pass on their genes, so if she couldn't provide him with that...

Rachel closed her eyes. Oh God, he wouldn't want her anymore, and then she'd have no one because nobody ever desired a used woman; she'd be alone...alone, alone, alone.

As she laid there in complete agony, she felt a hand gently caress her cheek and she winced, her voice filled with irritation as she snapped, "Harvey, I thought I told you to leave!" When the stroking continued, Rachel opened her eyes in order to give Harvey a piece of her mind, but that's when she looked up into two warm, soft brown eyes filled with sorrow. Jack...

With a terrified scream, Rachel moved to sit up and roll to the side, but Jack seized her by the wrists and tried to gently lay her back down.

"No, no" she sobbed, "let me go, you monster, let me go!"

Jack wordlessly pulled Rachel in for a fierce embrace, his visage burying against the crook of her neck as he quivered and ran his hand through her hair. Judging by the way his shoulders were shaking, Rachel could tell that he was crying, but this did little to alleviate the nausea in her gut. "I said let go of me, you fucking pig!" Sobbing, Rachel began hysterically slapping and punching his back, chest and head, but Jack only responded by pulling her closer. "I'm sorry" he moaned, his voice strained with anguish, "oh Christ, I'm so sorry..."

Now burying her face against his shoulder, Rachel felt all the fight drain from her weary body as she leaned into him, their soft sobs intermingling as they clung to one another with an inexplicable desperation.

"Why?" Rachel finally asked, her bottom lip quivering. "Why didn't you ever tell me you were alive? Do you have any idea how many sleepless nights I've spent wondering what happened? Wondering how brutally you must've been murdered?"

Jack swallowed sharply, his lips tracing along her chin as he whispered, "I knew he'd make me hurt you, so I had no choice. I wanted more than anything to come back to Gotham, but I couldn't risk your safety."

Confused by this elliptical response, she demanded, "Then what did make you come back if I wasn't enough?"

Jack suddenly pulled away from her sheltering embrace, his dark eyes meeting with hers as he twisted his scarred lips into a frown. "When Harvey came into the picture, I saw an opportunity -- or rather, he did. His goal in life is to wreak havoc upon the established order and cause terror, chaos, and destruction, so he's been using me as a vessel to get his dirty work done. He said that pretty soon he won't be needing me anymore, and that he'll be taking complete control."

"What do you mean, he?" Rachel demanded, a shiver running down her spine as she returned his helpless gaze. "Jack, there is no 'he' because it's all in your head -- you're the Joker, and you're the monster who raped me!"

"NO!" Jack shouted, shaking her firmly by the shoulders, "No, Rachel, I didn't rape you -- I swear to God, I'd rather kill myself than hurt you!"

"Well you might as well go ahead and sharpen your razors, then, because you've caused so much damage that I might never have children" Rachel coldly revealed, her bottom lip quivering as a lone tear trickled down her cheek.

Mouth agape, Jack shook his head in denial before giving a shuddering intake of breath, his eyes squeezing tightly closed as he laid his head down on her mattress and shook. "Oh God, oh God" he whimpered, his hands balling into two tight fists, "I'll kill that bastard, I swear I will!"

"Jack, you're crazy!" Rachel sobbed, her heart giving a helpless dive as he raised his head. "I mean, my God, are you even listening to yourself? Do you honestly think I'm going to believe a voice in your head is controlling you?"

Jack swallowed sharply. "Look, I know it sounds crazy, but I swear on my life that it's all true -- after Pen...after P-P-Pen...after the accident, I began hearing this voice, and at first I thought it was just nerves, but it never really went away. After a while, I started having these blackouts -- like, I'd wake up, but I couldn't ever remember certain days of my life. Fortunately for me, I can usually sense when he's going to try and take over, because I get these godawful migraines. Sometimes I can fight him off, but Rachel..." Jack swallowed, his hand now gripping her tightly by the wrist, "It's getting harder and harder to control him, and I'm afraid that one day I won't be able to wake back up."

Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but then immediately closed it, tears streaming down her cheeks as she whispered, "Jack, you really need help... Maybe if I called a doctor, they could-"

"God, don't you think I've already thought of that?" Jack irritably cut in. "No doctor can cure this, Rachel, because the harder I fight him, the harder he pushes back. I'm probably hopelessly insane, but in the long run, my getting treatment isn't going to do anyone any good."

"Well what about me?" Rachel defensively spat. "You said so yourself that you were after my boyfriend, so what if you try to finish the job? With some medication, that might not have to happen."

"Y-your boyfriend?" Jack reiterated, his heart pounding painfully as he gave her a look of utter bewilderment. "You mean, you...and Harvey...?"

"Yes, Jack, Harvey and I are dating" Rachel coolly acknowledged. "If you thought for one minute that I was going to come crawling back to you after all that's happened, you're a lot crazier than I originally thought!"

"But your necklace" Jack pitifully pointed out, "I-I saw your engagement ring, so I thought..."

"You thought what, Jack? That I still wanted to marry you?" Rachel demanded, her bottom lip quivering as she gave a derisive laugh. "I did want that, yes, but I'm in love with the Jack Napier from six years ago, not this...this monster I see right now!"

"Is it the scars?" Jack asked, his tone completely injured. "I can understand how you think they make me look like a monster, but..."

"No, Jack, that's not it at all!" Rachel cut in, her features filled with frustration. "I'm more concerned about the murdering, psychopathic voice that allegedly comes out to play every other evening! Don't you think that that is worth being concerned about? I mean, my God, Jack, if I were ever able to give you a child, I'd have to worry about you murdering him!"

Jack's jaw visibly clenched. "I would never hurt a child, Rachel."

"Um, have you seen yourself as the Joker?" Laughing bitterly, Rachel shook her head while insisting, "As that monster, you're capable of anything, Jack, including harming those you claim to love most!"

"But I wouldn't" he weakly insisted, "I couldn't..." Lowering his gaze down to his old, busted up sneakers, he slowly withdrew a rose from the inside of his coat before mumbling, "I love you, Rachel, and I just want you to be happy, even if..." He inhaled sharply. "...even if that means you find happiness with someone else. All you have to do is say you don't love me, and then I promise I'll walk out that door and never come back."

Rachel trembled, her heart feeling as if it were being mangled by a dull blade as she gazed back into his sad, pitiful brown eyes. "Oh Jack, I..."

"Do you love me?" he cut in, his tongue reflexively licking his lips.

Taking a deep, cleansing breath, Rachel glanced down toward her feet and shook her head. "No" she miserably lied, "I don't."

Jack appeared to be genuinely taken aback by her answer, his features contorting into sorrow as he watched her take off her necklace and place it into his awaiting palm.

"I'm so sorry" she whispered, "but we just can't be together anymore...my place is here in Gotham with Harvey."

Trying his damndest not to cry, Jack curled his fingers around the ring and chain before nodding stiffly. "Yeah, ok" he mumbled, careful to keep his eyes on anything but his former fianceé. "I'll just...um...leave, I guess."

As he turned to depart, Harvey made his grand reappearance from the hallway. In his hand was a beautiful bouquet of red roses, this in turn causing Jack to cringe and hide the pitiful rose he had had to offer. Rachel deserved a man like this, he realized. She deserved to have someone who could give her the world, and Jack knew all too well that he wasn't equipped for the job.

Jauntily stepping forward, Harvey beamed his politician's smile and held out his hand for Jack to take. "You must be a friend of Rachel's" he warmly observed. "I'm Harvey Dent, but don't let those ads fool you -- I'm a complete dick."

Not even cracking a smile at his joke, Jack ignored Harvey's outstretched hand and promptly ducked to the side, his head bowing as he shoved his hands into his pockets and left without a word.

"Wow, so who's the rude guy?" Harvey demanded, his features twisting in grim disapproval.

Careful to keep her pained gaze directed toward her lap, Rachel fingered the spot where her ring used to be and sighed. "He was no one" she softly explained, "no one at all."

--

'Why're we running away, Jack? Dis-ap-poin-ted that your lady love doesn't want you anymoooore?'

"Go away" Jack hissed, his eyes narrowing as he continued to walk through the backstreets of Gotham. Ignoring the odd looks he was beginning to receive, he quickly ducked into an alley and made his way through the sludge and mire.

'Oooh, I see. You're jealous, aren'tcha? You're just mad 'cause I got to lit-tle Miss DA before you did, and boy, let me tell ya that she's a reeeal de-light-ful lit-tle lay! She's a screamer, and I like that.'

"Shut up!" Jack screamed, his hands tearing at his hair as he turned and kicked a trash can. "Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

'Ooh, we like that, Jack, we like it! C'mon, show us what you've got! You gonna try and bludgeon us out like the last time?'

"Leave me alone" Jack pleaded, his breathing growing ragged and harsh, "just leave me alone!" Ripping another trash can from its position, he turned and hurled it across the alley before feverishly kicking a recycling bin. Cans, paper, and other clutter skittered across the ground as he began to shout curses at the sky, hot tears streaming down his cheeks as he envisioned Rachel saying how she no longer loved him. She'd sounded so resigned...so truthful.

"Hey, you!"

With a start, Jack staggered away from the damage and spun around to face his caller, his eyes widening in surprise when he spotted a well-dressed Italian standing before him. Squaring his shoulders, Jack uneasily demanded, "W-what do you want?"

"You know the Joker?" the man asked, his lips curling up into a sneer as he watched Jack's blatant discomfort. "We 'eard through the grapevine that some punk kid is in cahoots with 'im, an' you seem like just the type."

Realizing that the man was referring to his scars, Jack self-consciously wiped at his mouth before asking, "Well who wants to know?"

"I do, that's who -- 'sides, it seems that I jus' got my answer." With a snap of his fingers, the Italian made an indiscreet motion with his hand and Jack whirled around, a pained yelp escaping his lips just as a club connected with his face and knocked him out cold.

A/N - To esmerelda01 - "The Three Faces of Eve" (sorry, I originally said Irene like a complete moron, haha; I haven't taken psych since my freshman semester) is a story/movie based on a real life occurrence of a woman with dissociative identity disorder. This basically means that someone with this illness has multiple personalities or alter egos, so as you can see, I'm going that route for my story. I thought it'd be more effective if I could go through the separate lives of both Jack AND the Joker, because people with this personality don't tend to have memories of their other personalities. In fact, I'm not so sure that they even know their other identities, but I bent the rules since the Joker's trying to take over while Jack's "normal", so it'd make perfect sense for him to be aware of the Joker. Hopefully that all makes sense. :P Also, hopefully people will feel more sympathy towards Jack now that they know what's going on; there were a few who decided they hated him because of his actions. Completely understandable, btw!