Whisper Your Weakness

“What’s for dessert?” Luke asked, immediately after swallowing the last bite of Dantooinian garfish that Han had prepared. Reaching towards the middle of the table, he snagged the last piece of Leia’s Alderaanian flatbread and used it to soak up the armudu-spiced butter sauce still left on his plate.

“Not that you should have any room left, but it’s kitiri berries,” Leia said. She looked at Luke’s bare plate with a wry smile.

“Ooh, dipped in chocolate?”

“Yes,” she said with an indulgent sigh.

“Yum, my favorite!” Luke said with a grin as he exaggeratingly smacked his lips.

“Hell, Luke, it’s more expensive feeding you than it is the kids,” Han said. He got up, heading for the kitchen to bring the dessert in to the dining room. He winked at Jacen and Jaina, sitting in their places on either side of Luke. “Don’t worry, kids, I’ll make sure I give you yours first so your uncle doesn’t devour it all.”

Luke leaned over towards his niece and loudly whispered, “You’ll share your kitiri berries with me, won’t you, Jaina?”

“No, Uncle Luke,” Jaina giggled.

Luke turned to Jacen, but before he could even ask the question, Jacen laughed and said, “Nuh-uh, Uncle Luke!”

Leia smiled affectionately at the play between her brother and her children. Luke dramatically slumped his shoulders and heaved a huge sigh as Jaina and Jacen’s peals of laughter echoed around the small room.

“Don’t cry, Unca Luke! I share!” Anakin shouted from across the table. At only three and a half years old to his siblings five, he didn’t quite understand that Luke wasn’t serious. Anakin adored his Uncle Luke and couldn’t stand to see his favorite person upset.

Luke winked at his smaller nephew and said, “I knew I could count on you, buddy.”

Anakin’s delighted chortles suddenly made Jacen and Jaina change their minds and the two of them began clamoring for Luke’s attention, promising to share their portions of the dessert with him.

“All right, that’s enough. Luke will have plenty, you three don’t need to give him yours,” Leia said with a mock-stern glare at her brother.

“And if I’m still hungry, maybe I could have a bit of Jaina elbow,” Luke said as he took his niece’s small arm and loudly pretended to gnaw on it. Jaina promptly squealed and pulled her arm away.

“NO, Uncle Luke!” she said, laughing helplessly.

“That’s enough, Luke,” Leia said and this time her stern look was a little more serious. Sometimes, her brother was nothing more than just an overgrown kid. She often felt like she had four children. No, make that five, she thought as Han came back into the dining room with the dessert bowl and pretended to trip, acting as though he was going to spill the dish across the table. Heroically, he managed to save it just in time.

“Whew, that was a close one,” Han said as he set the bowl down. “Uncle Luke might have had to start eating his plate.”

By this point, the children were in hysterics and Leia found herself fighting back a smile. Luke and Han both looked at her and there was a matching mischievous twinkle in two sets of eyes. Leia gave in with a sigh and just shook her head.

Later, while Han went to give the children a bath - an ordeal that usually ended up with the bather being more drenched than the supposed bathees - and get them ready for bed, Leia and Luke sat in the living room talking quietly. Once Han got the Solo youngsters ready for bed, Leia would go in and tuck them in and read them a story…or two or three, depending on how far she gave in to their begging.

“So how was your appointment with Dr. Mondahl?”

Luke straightened up from where he had been gazing into the fireplace and looked at his twin. He pondered whether he should tell her about the uneasy feelings he’d gotten from Dr. Viktor Berdin. Of course, by the time that thought crossed his mind, she had already picked up on his ambivalence.

“What’s the matter?” she asked with a little frown.

Luke sighed. Sometimes, it was a bit of an annoyance having someone so closely tuned in to your feelings. Luckily, he could keep stray thoughts to himself most of the time.

“Dr. Mondahl has a new partner.”

“And?” Leia prompted when he didn’t say anything further.

“And…I got a very weird feeling from him. I don’t think I’ll go to him after Dr. Mondahl retires.”

“Is Dr. Mondahl thinking that seriously about retiring?” Leia asked with some surprise.

“Well, not right away, I guess. But Beki said that he’d taken on a partner because he wasn’t getting any younger. So I assume the thought has occurred to him.”

“What kind of a weird feeling?” Leia asked curiously, turning the conversation back to Luke’s discomfort. She knew that her brother rarely blew things out of proportion and if something was bothering him about this man, then there must be something to it.

“I can’t really describe it. It was very vague and…” Luke shrugged. “I just know I didn’t like him and I got the feeling he didn’t like me very much either.”

“Hmm. It wouldn’t be the first time someone was resentful of you without even knowing you.”

“That’s true. Guess I should get used to that,” he said with a rueful grin.

Leia laid her hand on his back and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. “Well, those of us who do know you, love you very much, little brother.”

Luke blushed endearingly and turned his head to kiss her on the nose. He touched his forehead to hers and whispered with that familiar twinkle in his eyes, “Who says you’re older?”

“Okay, the triple terrors are in bed and waiting for a story from mom,” Han said from the doorway. The twins looked up and laughed when they saw the amount of water that cov the the front of Han’s shirt and pants. He pointedly ignored them.

Leia stood and walked over to her husband. She reached up to pat his chest lovingly as she started to brush past him. Han caught her elbow and pulled her around to face him. He leaned down to brush a kiss over her lips before murmuring something that Luke couldn’t hear, but which definitely caused a little blush to creep up Leia’s cheeks. She laughed softly before answering him in the same hushed tone.

Luke swiftly lowered his head to gaze at the floor, fighting back the ache of envy that swept through his heart. His hands clenched into tight fists as an image of Mara danced through his mind. He wanted so desperately to be able to kiss the woman he loved before she went to tuck their children into bed, whispering promises of more intimate things to come later.

Leia caught just a hint of Luke’s emotion and turned her head to look at her little brother sadly. How she wished that he could find someone to share his life the way she and Han shared theirs. Things must not be working out with the mystery girlfriend whom he wouldn’t talk about. A worried look touched her face as she wondered whether she should go talk to him about it. Luke hated it when she poked into his private life, but Leia honestly couldn’t stand to see him so miserable.

Han placed a finger under her chin and tilted her head back up to look at him. “I’ll get it this time, sweetheart,” he said softly.

Leia smiled as she felt her heart swell with love for her roguish Corellian once again. After all these years together, he could read her just as well as Luke did. She nodded and kissed him again quickly before turning to go to their children.

Luke looked up as Han sat down noisily in the chair across from the sofa his brother-in-law sat on. Smiling at the man he truly considered his brother, Luke managed to push away any feelings of jealousy at the happiness his sister and Han had found. Of course, Han managed to stir them right back up.

“So, Kid, what’s the deal with this mysterious woman you’ve been seeing behind our backs?”

Luke threw him an exasperated look. “Han-” he began in a warning tone.

“Hey, we’re just curious, that’s all! Don’t know what’s gotten into you. You never used to be so sneaky. Used to, I could tell exactly what you were thinkin’ just by lookin’ at your face.”

“I’m not being sneaky! It’s just a private thing.”

“Okay, okay, don’t get all mad. You know Leia gets mad at me when me and you argue, so help me out a little. C’mon, what will it hurt to tell me something about her? You don’t have to tell me who she is,” Han coaxed.

There was a part of Luke that dearly wanted to tell both Han and Leia everything. Sith, there was a part of him that wanted to shout his love for Mara Jade from the rooftops of Coruscant, but he couldn’t do that. But maybe Han could give him some advice. After all, his brother-in-law had been fairly experienced with the opposite sex before he’d married Leia, although Luke didn’t like to think about that, overprotective brother that he was.

“Well…” Luke said slowly. “It’s not really me that wants to keep it a secret. It’s her.”

“Why?”

“She’s a little nervous about getting involved with the infamous Skywalker/Solo clan.”

“What, because of the publicity, the danger, the insane family dinners?”

Luke laughed in spite of himself. “Those dinners can be quite crazy, but no, it’s mostly the publicity part. She’s a very private person and she doesn’t like the idea of strangers peering into her personal life.”

“Where’d you meet her?”

“Han,” Luke said in that same warning tone. “I’m not going to tell you who she is, so no trying to worm it out of me.”

“Sorry, had to give it a shot,” Han smirked. His face grew serious for a moment and he said, “But she knows that’s something she’s going to have to face if she wants to stay involved with you, right? You can’t change who you are, Kid.”

Luke’s face took on such a look of longing and sadness that Han felt his own heart clench.

“I’m not sure she is willing to face it,” he said softly.

“But she loves you, right?”

Although it didn’t seem possible, the pain on Luke’s face deepened and he looked away so Han wouldn’t see the tears gathering in his eyes.

“I don’t know if she does or not,” he whispered.

The two of them sat there frozen for a moment, Han unsure what to say, and Luke quietly embarrassed by the strength of his own emotions. The Jedi sniffed self-consciously and roughly wiped his hand across his face.

“Aw, Kid,” Han sighed quietly.

“But I love her, Han,” Luke said as he turned to face his brother again. Han could see the intensity in the blue eyes that never failed to remind him of his own youngest son. “I love her so much that it’s just exploding inside me. Sometimes…sometimes, I just look at her and I…it’s like it almost overwhelms me.”

Han reached out somewhat awkwardly and put his hand on Luke’s shoulder. “You know we’re here for you, Luke.”

Luke smiled gratefully at his brother-in-law’s care and concern. “Thanks. I do know that.” He glanced down at his wrist chrono and gave a muttered exclamation. “Damn, I didn’t realize it was so late. I was supposed to meet her this evening. I’ve got to go, Han. Will you say my good-byes to Leia?”

“Uh, yeah sure, Kid,” Han said and before he could protest, the whirlwind that was Luke Skywalker had swept out of the apartment. Han shook his head in amusement. Almost fourteen years he’d known that kid and sometimes Han didn’t think he would ever understand him.

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